Home for Christmas

by Holly Chamberlin

  “Joel!” she exclaimed. “This is a surprise. Come in.”

  Joel smiled. “Thanks. It’s pretty nasty out here.”

  She took his black wool overcoat, hung it on the coat rack just inside the front door, and led him into the kitchen. She noticed that his perfectly trimmed hair was a bit grayer than it had been the last time she had seen him. Otherwise he looked unchanged, the same tall, well built, ruggedly handsome man she had married so long ago. A college athlete who had never been sick a day in his life and for whom sartorial elegance was almost as necessary as breathing.

  “I’m sorry to show up unannounced,” Joel said.

  “That’s all right. But what could possibly bring you all the way from Cape Cod on a day like this?”

  Joel blew on his hands to warm them before answering. “I’ve been feeling badly about Felicity’s decision to cancel our plans to spend next Christmas together,” he said. “She seemed so excited about the trip. I felt I had to see her face-to-face to be sure I haven’t said something to put her off.”

  “And you thought if you surprised Felicity she wouldn’t have time to put a mask in place if she really was upset with you.”

  “Something like that,” Joel admitted, looking decidedly sheepish.

  “Can I get you something to eat?” Nell asked.

  “No, I had a bite along the way. But a cup of coffee would be welcome if it’s no trouble.”

  “None at all.” Nell put the kettle on to boil and measured ground coffee into the French press pot. “I admit I was totally surprised when Fliss changed her mind about spending Christmas abroad.”

  “So, you didn’t say anything to influence her decision?” Joel asked.

  “Joel, you know me,” Nell scolded. “I would never try to keep your children from you or you from your children. I hate the fact that Molly won’t have anything to do with you, and she knows I hate it.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that Fliss’s about-face came out of the blue.”

  Nell handed him a cup of coffee. “Still take it black?” she asked.

  Joel accepted the cup. “Yeah, thanks. So, is Fliss around?”

  “Yes. She’s upstairs.”

  “Good. I can’t stay long. I’ve got to be back before Taylor goes to bed. Pam feels we should both be there every night at bedtime to read him stories.”

  Nell recalled how little Joel had participated in the day-to-day parenting of their girls, but then again, his absences had never bothered her. She had enjoyed her role as the primary parent, never fussing when Joel stayed late at the office or missed a school play or soccer game for a round of golf or an evening of cocktails with his colleagues and clients. In hindsight her complaisance and satisfaction seemed naïve. Pam Bertrand was a very different woman, Nell reflected, someone quite sure of her place in the world outside the home. Maybe living with such a woman was doing Joel’s character some good.

  “Is Taylor’s father still giving you and Pam a hard time about the custody agreement?” Nell asked.

  “The situation has not improved,” Joel replied grimly. “The man has some sort of perverse need to cause trouble. The moment one issue is settled he’s back with another.”

  “Is Taylor aware of what’s been going on?” Nell asked.

  “Yes, unfortunately, though his mother and I try to shield him as best we can. But I didn’t come to Yorktide to talk about Pam and Taylor.” Joel lowered his voice. “How’s Molly? Is she at home?”

  “She’s out delivering cookies to our local home for the elderly. Joel, she did indeed break up with Mick, and it was ugly. Now she bitterly regrets her decision. You were right. It was a bad case of cold feet. The problem is that Mick won’t talk to her. She’s afraid she’s lost him for good.”

  Joel shook his head. “I just assumed Molly wanted to stretch her wings a bit before coming back to Yorktide and marrying. I didn’t know she was so confused. Well, of course I didn’t. She hasn’t talked to me in three years.”

  “Dad!” Felicity was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “What a surprise.” She gave her father a hug, which he returned carefully as he was still holding his coffee. “Is everything okay? Are Pam and Taylor with you?”

  “No, they’re home on the Cape,” Joel explained. “I had to see you, Fliss. I had to be sure I didn’t do or say anything to put you off wanting to spend next Christmas with the three of us.”

  Felicity laughed. “But I already told you that you had nothing to do with my decision! I just want to spend Christmas at home. I have such happy memories of holidays in this house. But hey, if you want to take me to Europe some other time, Dad, you can. There’s always spring break. They say nothing beats April in Paris.”

  Joel smiled. “Okay, I believe you. I’d see it in your eyes if you were lying. And April in Paris is pretty great.” Joel turned to Nell. “Your mom and I spent a wonderful week in the City of Lights before Molly was born. Remember?”

  Nell smiled. “How could I forget?”

  “Did Taylor get the package I sent him?” Felicity asked.

  Joel put his empty cup on the counter and smiled. “He did. And he’s beyond excited to see what Santa and his elves are bringing him tomorrow.”

  “Good. Give him and Pam a big kiss for me.” Felicity suddenly pulled her phone from her pocket. “Yikes. I have a Skype session with Amanda in like two minutes.”

  “The girl who used to live next door when you were little?” Joel asked.

  “Yeah. We’ve kept in touch.” With another hug and wishes for a happy Christmas, Felicity was off, pounding up the stairs to her room.

  “Where does she get her energy?” Joel asked with a smile.

  Nell laughed. “Sugar.” Just then she heard the front door open and shut and her heart leapt to her throat. Joel shot her a nervous look. It could only be Molly.

  “Whose car is that in the drive?” Molly asked, entering the kitchen a moment later. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw her father. “Oh. It’s you. What are you doing here?”

  Nell saw her ex-husband swallow hard before replying. “Merry Christmas, Molly,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”

  Nell felt her shoulders tense. She had absolutely no idea what Molly would do or say. But before Nell could speculate, Molly launched herself into her father’s arms and burst out crying.

  Joel held Molly tight and stroked her head. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

  Nell felt tears prick her eyes, and she clasped her hands to her chest.

  After a moment or two, Molly stepped away from her father, and Nell hurried to give her a tissue with which to mop her eyes. “I’ve missed you too, Dad,” Molly said thickly. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. It was wrong.”

  “You were angry with me,” Joel said quietly. “You felt you needed the distance.”

  “You don’t have to make excuses for me,” she countered. “I acted like a self-centered child, and I’m sorry for it.”

  Joel smiled. “Okay,” he said. “I accept your apology. And I’m sorry for . . . I could have handled things better six years ago.”

  “But it was six years ago,” Molly said. “We can’t change the past. Now is what’s important. And I don’t want to be mad anymore. It’s stupid. It’s a waste of time.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Really glad.”

  Molly smiled tentatively. “Please wish Pam and Taylor a merry Christmas from me. I know I haven’t been great about acknowledging either of them, but that will change, I promise.”

  Joel nodded. “I’ll tell them both you send Christmas wishes.” Joel looked at his watch. “I’d better get going,” he said. “It’s going to be a long trip back to the Cape.”

  “You’re driving home today?” Molly asked.

  “That’s my plan, yes.”

  Molly looked quickly at her mother. “Dad,” she said, “maybe you should stay. The roads are dangerous. They’re talking about whiteout conditions in places.”

  “I’ll
be okay,” Joel assured her. “Don’t worry.”

  “If you’re sure.” Molly gave her father another hug. “I’ll let you two say goodbye in private. Let’s talk soon, Dad.”

  Nell watched as her older daughter left the room, and then she glanced out the window at the snow falling thick and heavy. “Molly’s right, Joel,” she said. “I don’t think you should drive back to the Cape. I can make up the couch in the living room. You can spend Christmas morning with us, and head out after breakfast if the weather improves. I’m sure Pam will understand.”

  Joel shook his head. “I couldn’t intrude.”

  “You wouldn’t be intruding. We’re having other guests tomorrow, too. My friend Jill is joining us.” Nell hesitated a moment and then went on. “And do you remember my old friend from college, Eric Manville?”

  “The writer?” Joel asked.

  “Yes. He’s staying in Ogunquit for a few weeks, and I invited him for Christmas dinner.”

  “Pam will be green with envy. She loves his books. So you two have been in touch?”

  “Only recently,” Nell explained. “He did a reading in town and I went. We’ve met a few times since then.”

  Joel looked at Nell searchingly. “Did he come here just to see you?” he asked. “It seems an odd time of the year for a big-name author like Eric Manville to be giving a reading in sleepy little Yorktide.”

  Nell met her ex-husband’s gaze steadily. “No,” she said. “It was just a coincidence. Eric had no idea I lived in Yorktide. Besides, he’s been doing other appearances and readings around Southern Maine.”

  Joel nodded and cleared his throat. “Thanks, Nell, but I’ll take my chances. If things get really bad I’ll pull over somewhere and wait out the storm. I’ve got blankets and flares and a six-pack of water. I’ll be fine.”

  “All right,” she said. “If you’re sure. But promise to let me know when you’re back safely on the Cape.”

  “I promise. Nell, I’m glad I came today. And I’m happy to see you well.”

  “I’m glad you came, too,” Nell said. “What just happened between you and Molly was wonderful.”

  “It was, and I so hope we can reclaim the good relationship we had before the divorce. I’m certainly going to try my best to make amends.” Joel smiled. “Maybe this year she’ll actually deposit her Christmas check from me and not just tear it up.”

  Together Nell and Joel walked to the front hall. “Will you be seeing your father this Christmas?” Nell asked.

  Joel shook his head. “Doubtful,” he said. “We invited him and his wife to a small cocktail party we gave last week, and neither bothered to reply. What about your parents? Are they well?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. I’m not sure they’d bother to tell me if they weren’t. I’ll call them tomorrow and we’ll exchange a few pleasantries and that will be that until the next holiday.”

  Joel sighed. “It’s strange how things turn out, isn’t it?”

  “Strange isn’t the word.”

  “It looks like you’ve gone all out with the decorations this year,” Joel said as they passed through the dining room and then into the living room. “Is that another tree I see on the landing?”

  Nell laughed. “It is. I’m afraid I’ve become Christmas crazed.”

  “There are worse things to be. Nell, you’ve done a fine job with our daughters. Thank you.”

  “You were involved in their upbringing, too,” Nell pointed out.

  “Not like you were. Not like you still are.”

  When they reached the front door, Joel put on his coat and then laid his hand lightly on Nell’s shoulder. “Nell, do you ever wonder . . . I mean, sometimes I think that I—”

  “Joel,” Nell said, gently removing his hand. “Please. Don’t say anything more. What’s done is done.”

  “All right. Take care of yourself, Nell.”

  Nell opened the door and watched as Joel, head bowed against the swirling snow, made his way to his car. Only when his vehicle was out of sight did she go back into the house and close the door behind her. Molly and Felicity were waiting for her in the kitchen.

  “I thought you were talking to Amanda,” Nell said.

  “The Internet is down,” Felicity explained. “Must be the storm.”

  “Did you tell your sister what happened between you and your father?” Nell asked her older daughter as she took a seat at the table.

  Molly nodded. Her eyes were still red from crying. “Yes.”

  “You really had no idea Dad would be coming today?” Felicity asked her mother.

  “None. Molly and I both suggested he stay because of the bad weather, but he seemed determined to get back. I told him to let me know when he gets home safely.”

  Felicity shook her head. “I’m sorry he came all this way just to make sure I was okay.”

  “What do you mean?” Molly asked.

  “Dad was worried he’d said or done something to put me off going with him and Pam and Taylor to Switzerland next year,” Felicity explained. “He said he wanted to see me in person to be sure I wasn’t upset. Dad’s a good guy. I’m so glad you made up with him, Molly.”

  Molly sank into a seat at the table and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “It was weird,” she said. “The moment I saw Dad standing next to you, Mom, it became clear to me that I was wrong. What was I hoping to accomplish by avoiding Dad these past few years? I can’t turn back time and make him stay with us. I’ve been so mean to him, and yet he was still nice enough to offer to help me out when I said I was moving to Boston.”

  “He loves you, Molly,” Nell said. “He loves us all.”

  “I know. The least I can do is to give him a chance. He’s not perfect, but no one is. I’m certainly not, and Mick would be the first to agree.”

  “I have a good feeling about you two,” Felicity said robustly. “Christmas can be a magical time. Just try to believe, okay? Look at what just happened with you and Dad. Like the song says, let your heart be light.”

  Nell put her arm around Molly’s shoulders. “Your sister is right. Don’t lose faith in miracles.”

  “Do you really believe in miracles, Mom?” Molly asked with a wobbly smile.

  “You know,” Nell said, “I think that I do.”

  Chapter 34

  Nell had prepared a simple meal of pasta with sausage and broccoli and tomato sauce she had made at the end of the tomato harvest back in September. As she set the kitchen table, she thought about the call she had made to Eric late that afternoon. He swore he was feeling much better and that nothing would keep him from joining the King family for Christmas. Nell smiled as she placed a fork by her plate. This Christmas was not turning out to be the quiet, private little holiday she had wanted it to be. She had gone into the season with expectations for one reality and now she was facing another, maybe even a better reality. Resiliency and optimism, Nell thought as she placed the last napkin on the table. Both were awfully useful tools to have in one’s hand.

  The girls came into the kitchen then. “Just in time,” Nell said, as she brought a large bowl of the pasta to the table.

  Felicity dropped into her chair, singing in her pretty soprano voice. “ ‘Later on we’ll conspire, as we dream by the fire, to face unafraid the plans that we made, walking in a winter wonderland.’ Remember when I was an elf in my second grade Christmas play,” she asked suddenly, “and I fell on stage because of those stupid elf boots? The toes were like a mile long.”

  Molly smiled. “What I remember most was how you just picked yourself up and got on with things. When that little boy fell over the toes of his elf boots, he made such a howling racket!”

  “That was Curtis Murray. His family moved to Portland when we were in sixth grade. I wonder if he’s still a drama queen.”

  “I remember the Murrays. There was an older son who went to school with Mick.” Molly sighed. “I can’t help but wonder what Mick planned on bringing me today. Do you know his mother told me that
when he was only ten he bought her a Byers’ Choice collectible figure for Christmas. He saved every penny of the money he’d made from his paper route and from shoveling snow and raking leaves for that old couple that used to own Spiny Ridge Farm. He’s always been so thoughtful and selfless.” Molly turned to Nell. “Mom? Do you think he was planning to propose tomorrow?”

  Nell sighed. “Oh, Molly, I don’t know.”

  “Try not to think about it,” Felicity said. “Think about something else, like the fact that a famous writer is spending Christmas with us!”

  “Are you nervous about Eric’s being here tomorrow?” Molly asked.

  “Why would she be nervous?” Felicity asked. “They’re friends.”

  “They were more than that, once,” Molly said quietly. “And you know what they say about first loves.”

  Nell reached for Molly’s hand. “That you never forget them.”

  “Hey, you two,” Felicity said brightly. “I have an idea. Why don’t we go to church in the morning? I know we haven’t gone in a long time, but somehow this year it feels like the right thing to do.”

  Molly nodded. “I’m in. A little prayer never hurt anybody.”

  “I think going to church is a great idea,” Nell said. “A really great idea.”

  Home safely. Merry Xmas.

  Nell read Joel’s text with a sense of relief and returned to wrapping the final present. She had decided to give Molly her great aunt Prudence’s serving platter after all; there really was no reason not to. Once the platter was wrapped, the duties Nell had set herself this Christmas season would be done. The stockings were completed; the craft materials were put away; the baking supplies were stowed in cupboards. All that was left now was to enjoy every moment of Christmas Day with her family. And with her friends.

  Nell affixed a final piece of tape to the package with a sigh of satisfaction. She felt calm and yet strangely excited. She put the package aside, went to the window, and leaned close to the pane. The scene she saw was odd, a strange play of light from the room behind her, darkness beyond, gray swaths in between. She remembered how Molly had said that white could be a more frightening color than black; she had said that the snow-covered world looked blanched and drained of life. An image began to form somewhere inside Nell, and she felt a strange fluttering throughout her body.