The Touch (Healer Series)

by Allison Rios

  He heard Addie in the kitchen talking to Gram, mentioning how she had to get going and get Rose home and in bed. Gram told her to go on ahead, that she’d bring AJ home. There was some whispering, and then Addie leaning around the doorframe to tell AJ goodnight. She wasn’t going to get too close to him again after what happened. She needed simplicity for awhile.

  “Night,” AJ said, smiling meekly at her. “Night Rose.”

  “Night Mr. AJ!” Rose shouted, peeking with a giggle around the corner.

  He smiled, watching the screen door shut behind them. When Gram came back out to the table she pulled out the chair directly across from him and sat down. They stared at each other, not a word being uttered, as if Gram was studying him.

  “You can’t work your charms on me,” Gram said, releasing her stark stare into a smile.

  “Charms?” he said, trying to laugh. “I have no charms. I’m lucky I have enough brains just to put two and two together.”

  The tension was only growing. The way she looked at him was making him highly uncomfortable and he squirmed in his seat.

  “Yes, your…charms. You could feel it, couldn’t you?”

  He thought about making a cougar joke, as he would have normally done in a tense situation. Her stare suggested it wasn’t a time for laughter.

  “What do you mean?” AJ said while attempting to decipher what she knew. Had she heard about him on television? He leaned forward in his chair, his hands clasped together and elbows resting on his knees. He was ready to dart out the door and back to his car, heading out for the next safe location that he could find in a town far, far away. He realized he sounded more menacing than quizzical, which he hadn’t meant to do.

  “You know what I mean,” she said, settling into the chair. “Your hands can’t change me. They can’t affect me.” She leaned back, relishing in the moment. It had been a long time since she had met someone like him. “Although to be honest, it scares me a little bit that you may have seen a need to.”

  The look of shock was now on his face. He hadn’t met a mortal that could decipher what he was before, especially with nothing more than a touch.

  “How do you-”

  He cut himself off. He wasn’t about to be the first one to say it out loud in centuries.

  “Relax, sweetheart, I know all about it.”

  He stared at her with squinted eyes. She couldn’t know who he was. He’d traveled far enough away to a place where people barely owned televisions. There was no way someone knew who he was.

  “How?”

  “I used to be you,” she said, making his heart race as she reached for his hand. He was scared and excited all at once, unsure what she meant by used to.

  No sooner had the words come out than the visions started, beginning with Gram having a heart attack and in the hospital. She wasn’t going to die, he noted. He wasn’t allowed to heal her either prior to this. It was going to serve another purpose, although the visions didn’t always tell him what. Then one more vision – Addie telling him she knew what he was.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, leaning closer. His excitement was obvious, as was his anxiety. Could he trust her not to “out” him? She hadn’t to Addie. Or had she? Was that what the whispering was before they left?

  “I mean, I used to be you. I was born a Healer. Addie’s mom was too, although she gave up her gift after only a year. It was too much for her and she lost her mind. Something we don’t talk about and a topic you best not broach with Addie. And besides for the two of us, I don’t think I’ve come across a Healer in Lee for decades.”

  She spoke about it like it was everyday conversation, as if it weren’t a huge revelation or big news. Her nonchalant attitude made him even more uncomfortable if that were possible.

  “Addie too?”

  “Addie never inherited the gene because she just isn’t cut out for the job. She is a beautiful person, however one that’s meant to be a mother and settle down. She wasn’t meant for the life of a Healer.”

  AJ was rattled. In all his life, he’d never encountered a mortal who had known what he was. Or who had been a Healer before, but wasn’t now.

  “What do you mean by used to? Are you still a Healer? You can’t be, if Addie is your granddaughter.”

  He was stuttering, trying to piece the puzzle together. It was so out-of-the-blue, so strange. And it was happening so fast, as if this were everyday conversation for Gram. She was so calm.

  “I mean, I was you, once upon a time. I spent decades - or centuries even, I forget exactly what the time was after all these years – helping others. Then, as some of us do, I met the love of my life. I gave up everything to be with him.”

  “How?” The question was honest, almost accusatorial. He couldn’t fathom Healers walking away from their gift. They were meant to help.

  “It wasn’t easy. It was a big decision. I had watched for a century as my friends fell in love, got married, and started their lives. I hadn’t found someone I felt that way for so I continued with the work I was doing until I met George. Everything changed. It took a lot of thought and consideration. I ultimately gave it all up to be with him.”

  “Why would you do that? He’s gone now and you’re all alone.”

  AJ instantly felt sorry for the words as soon as they escaped his lips because they sounded cruel. His intentions were not ill-willed; he just could not comprehend giving up everything to lose someone anyway.

  “What happened was the price you pay when you give up something like the ability to heal. I gave it up, got married, and had some children. We had many, many happy years together.”

  “And then what happened?”

  “What happens to mortals all the time - he got sick. I wasn’t able to heal him anymore and either there was no Healer around or the Healer saw a bigger reason for his passing. He was gone. The pain from not being able to save him sent me into a tailspin, same with Addie’s mother. That’s what caused her breakdown.”

  AJ sat back. It was a lot of information to take in; relevant information, pertinent to the aspects he was struggling with every time he laid eyes on Addie. It hadn’t occurred to him that he could lose her at any time once his powers were gone. He would never be able to heal her if something happened. If she fell sick there was always a possibility he would be restricted from healing her, dependent upon what the visions said. He preferred a slight chance over a non-existent one.

  “Do you ever regret it?” he asked, searching her eyes for the truth behind whatever words she spoke. He hadn’t seen it before but it was evident now. Both eyes still had the crystal clearness of a Healer.

  “I thought I did, right after he passed. But that’s life. People come and people go. You have to accept that, even as a Healer. It’s the great conundrum we face. We either have to give up everything and risk losing something we love, or keep our gift and still risk losing something we love. When I looked at the bigger picture – my beautiful daughter, granddaughter, the life we had together for the years we had- it all made sense. It wasn’t a bad thing. His passing was a new beginning, a new opportunity; just another new start after a big decision had been made.”

  They sat in silence for a moment until Gram broke it with a whisper.

  “What did you see, when you touched me? Believe it or not, I almost miss the visions.”

  AJ hesitated. He’d never been asked that because no one had ever known what he was doing. He wasn’t sure he should tell her.

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t patronize me, AJ. I know you saw something. I felt it. I know the difference in feeling between a clear vision and one that ends badly.”

  “I saw you sick. I didn’t see death, though,” he quickly clarified, looking down at his shaking hands. “I can’t read Addie very well. Her visions come too fast. And there’s no judgment in them.”

  Gram shook her head. It wasn’t as though she was shocked he saw sickness in her. She’d had a long, healthy life. It was just the odds that somet
hing would come along to change that.

  “Maybe that’s because the visions are different. They aren’t those of healing, they’re those of a different feeling. Love maybe. Like with my George.”

  “They can’t be love, Gram. First of all, I’ve known her a few days. Not only that, I don’t really even know her! You said it yourself; you waited a century before ever finding George. I’ve been doing this only for a few mortal years. Plus,” he hesitated, not wanting to sound like a complete jerk, “I don’t think I’d ever give up what we do. It’s too important to me. If I can stop someone from feeling the pain I did when I lost my mom, dealing with the loneliness that comes with this is a price I’m willing to pay.”

  “Addie’s mom did less time as a Healer and gave it all up. There is no time requirement on this gift; there is only the requirement that you use it wisely. No one can tell you what to do or how to use it; that choice is yours. Give it up, keep it, it makes no difference to me. All I ask is that you don’t hurt Addie. I see the way she looks at you. I can still sense the way she feels for you. She’s good at locking her feelings away except in the end, she’s still a young woman with a delicate heart. If you choose not to give up your current life, you know you’ll have to leave here eventually to keep up the façade of why you don’t age. If that’s the case, don’t get her invested in something she’ll never have.”

  “How do I know what to do?” he asked, as confused as he was the day he first discovered his ability.

  “I can’t answer that for you. What I can say is that the feeling you described, not being able to see visions of her clearly, those are indicators. It may be a once in a lifetime thing, I don’t know. Those feelings are involuntary and happen with a person you are supposed to be with. You can still make the choice of what to do. It is in your control.”

  She stood up, picking up a few more plates and walking to the kitchen door before glancing over her shoulder in the same way her granddaughter did.

  “But if you hurt her, you’ll deal with me.” She winked, and continued on to the sink. AJ picked up a couple dishes, brought them into the kitchen, and lost himself in thought.

  4 OLD FRIENDS

  “Listen Helen, I’m going to take a ride to see a friend, probably stay the night there. I’ll be back bright and early tomorrow, and I’m just gonna head straight to work.”

  Helen was always up late and always early to rise. AJ hadn’t been surprised to see her reading at the kitchen table just as the sun was rising. He had wanted to get into the shop early and perhaps convince Bob to let him head out early as well.

  “That’s wonderful! Glad you have a friend close by.”

  “Just a couple hours away. Close enough.”

  “If you need anything, I’ll write our phone number down for you. Call any hour; we’ll be here for you. But first, you better have some breakfast.”

  She quickly arose from her chair, starting the morning clanging of the pots and pans as she created a spread fit for a king. AJ nodded, turning down the hallway that led to his room. He had showered the evening before at Grams. With the abysmal dreams still overrunning his mind, he wanted to wash away the memories – and the sweat – before heading to go to work.

  He laughed to himself, knowing as soon as he got there he’d be sweating again.

  The cool water felt good against his body. He hadn’t been used to such heat in a long time. In addition to manual labor, either. Living in an apartment, there’s not much yard work to do and what little there was he rarely did anyway.

  He let the water hit him and run down, taking a moment to relax and wash away the recollection of the previous night’s bad dreams. As his soapy hands reached his stomach, he gave himself a pep talk about trying to get in a little workout here or there. With all the good food Helen had been whipping up for him, he was going to have to work a little harder at keeping his abs visible. Seeing as how there was probably no gym, he would need to find alternative measures.

  As he dried off, he glanced out the window of the bathroom and saw Addie and Rose eating their breakfast at the picnic table in the yard. He found himself checking out the windows often in an effort to make sure Joseph wasn’t there. To think of how the bully had treated Addie and what Rose could have gone through, made his skin crawl.

  He didn’t know what to make of his anger. He knew the rules of his gift prevented him from being anything more than her friend. Love not a reasonable outcome, especially since he remained unsure of what exactly he was feeling. He hadn’t been seriously interested in relationships anyway. In fact, he hadn’t felt anything towards a woman in a very long time.

  Looking in the mirror, he reiterated to himself what his goals had been as he began his search for a new home: to settle down a bit, stay low key and perhaps become a part of something bigger. He worked at convincing himself that with Addie interested in guys like Joseph, she needed a really good friend in her life.

  He threw some clothes in a bag, got dressed in his typical tank and shorts, and headed down for breakfast before heading out to work.

  He had done pretty well at avoiding being touched because he had grown used to skirting away from others’ hands. Helen had a knack for putting her hand on his back or shoulder like he was her own child. Hers was the only touch he didn’t seem to mind – as long as he didn’t have to return the gesture with a touch of his own.

  Breakfast was the usual ten course meal, and he laughed as Matthew told him how much. The sweet old couple liked having him around, mostly because it meant bigger meals. AJ enjoyed their hospitality more than anything. It was comforting to feel part of a family again, even if only temporarily.

  They had been so kind to him, trusting him without proof he could be trusted. As he watched them across the table, he couldn’t help but envy the way they smiled and spoke to each other, as if they were the only people in existence. They still held hands like teenagers as they walked their property at night. AJ noticed he hadn’t seen any photographs of family or children and knew better than to ask. He figured perhaps the lack of family might have lent itself to their openness of a young stranger.

  After helping Helen with the dishes he walked out to his car and tossed his bag in the trunk. As he situated his meager belongings, he heard footsteps approaching. Addie thought to herself how much it would anger Joseph, until she remembered he wasn’t around anymore. She had been using the drunk as her excuse to converse with AJ and she found herself searching for a new one.

  “You leaving?” she asked, hands on her hips and what he almost thought could be a look of disappointment on her face. “You just got a job, I thought.”

  “Going to work actually,” he replied, shutting the trunk. “Then off to see an old friend. Just for the night though. I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. You’re not gonna go calling Joseph back now to keep you warm, are you?”

  And old AJ is back, he thought to himself with a cringe.

  “Didn’t mean to sound harsh, Addie. Sorry,” he continued. “We seem to have a way with words around each other, don’t we?”

  “Two sarcastic sons a’ bitches,” she said. She didn’t seem too offended by his tone. “So you’re coming back tomorrow?”

  “I am. I promise I’ll get your truck completely fixed before I skip town.”

  He said it sarcastically, but it was true. Whether or not he decided to stay, he wouldn’t back out of his promise to her.

  “Who’s this friend? Is she of the female variety? Or one of your old buddies who you wrestle with?” she said with a laugh, punching him in his bicep.

  He didn’t even flinch, even with the strength she harbored. AJ sensed she was fishing for more details and he reminded himself again that keeping things friendly was the way he needed to go. It seemed he was reminding himself of that more often than not lately.

  “Just an old friend.” He turned his back to get into the car and looked back before he did. Pointing towards Rose, he continued in his steady tone. “I’ll see you guys later.
Come by with your truck to the shop tomorrow and I’ll take a look. I’ll fix it up for you at a much better price than you’ve ever seen.”

  “Deal,” she said, stepping back. He seemed more withdrawn than he had before. Maybe, she thought, she had really turned him off. Not that she had wanted to turn him on. Or had she?

  She watched as his car sped off into the southern morning, the trees swaying in the breeze he left behind. The willows made a beautiful sight when the wind blew through their branches.

  **************************************************

  AJ was beginning to understand exactly why Max moved out to a more calming atmosphere years ago. While his friend still made trips into the city, being able to relax and recuperate in the country seemed like a wise idea.

  A part of AJ felt like he was turning his back on the world, wasting his talents by settling in a town like Lee. His talents weren’t something he asked for though, and that was what he struggled with. He was born different and didn’t know how different until he was becoming an adult. The world had changed for him in many ways in such a short period of time that he felt lost in a way that he feared he might never find his way out of.

  It wasn’t something he particularly wanted either. He had done a great deal of good in the past few years and he wanted a break. He ached to be normal again, even if only for awhile. He struggled with not knowing much more about his gift than Max had shared with him over the previous few years and those were merely bits and pieces of a legend handed down over generations. His mother hadn’t had the gift as far as he knew. AJ figured maybe she had given up the gift when she fell in love – as that’s how Max had explained it to him. After speaking to Gram earlier in the week, he was now sure that’s what had happened.

  His uncle had died when AJ was just a little boy after they were both in a car accident that neither should have survived. It was soon after meeting Max that he realized his uncle probably healed him and lost his own life doing it and AJ lived with the guilt of that loss as well. It was months before he could even look at himself in the mirror after that. Combined with having lost his mom and having not been able to save her, he had set out to hide behind his gift so that maybe something he did would make him feel better.