by Allison Rios
“What did you just do man?” his friend blurted out, pulling his hand back abruptly from AJ’s grip. He looked scared.
“Oh shit, did I make it worse?” AJ replied, thinking stretching had perhaps done more damage than good.
“No. I don’t – I can feel my pointer finger. I can feel it. Shit, what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, I swear!” AJ said, his face still donning a quizzical look. He hadn’t done a thing and he knew it. He was, however, very tired all of a sudden.
They sat in silence for a moment before his friend made a swift exit following an excuse about dinner plans. AJ sat there, trying to forget about the visions and everything else as he started to drift off to sleep.
A month later he received an invitation to a celebration for a friend who was becoming a surgeon.
That was the first occurrence. Others followed. For the most part, AJ was keeping to himself in his loneliness. Work was one of the few times he left the house and he had begun to shy away from even that as these images kept filling his head while he was working with patients. Sometimes they were affirmative, showing a fulfilling life. Sometimes they were ghastly. At one point, he had envisioned a patient hurting someone. He couldn’t make the visual movies stop and he became increasingly withdrawn.
Having no money and no family and not wanting to face the friends he had known his entire life because of what he felt his life had become, he fled his former homestead in order to become another face in the crowd. He still wasn’t even sure what this power was or why he had it. Quite honestly, he wasn’t sure whether he considered it a gift or a curse. All he knew for certain was that a fresh start was needed.
5 BROKEN HEARTS
His dreams were often of dying, leaving the world a wounded place. He was at all times subconsciously worried that he was dying and would be unable to help someone who needed it. He knew that Healers died in every way that a mortal can. Their hands were able to heal anyone except themselves. Each time a Healer touches someone, a bit of their strength is drained. It is their strength that flows into the hurt or sick individual in need of healing and assists them in overcoming their illness. New Healers sometimes rushed out, attempting to help everyone in need because they feel such a strong obligation to save the world. They end up killing themselves within days.
Healers often avoid crowded areas for this reason; to steer clear of revealing themselves to anyone who may out them to the world. If the world found out that a person could heal someone with merely a touch of their hands, it would put all Healers at risk. They would be mobbed, kidnapped, attacked, and forced into healing in return for their lives. Thieves, criminals and abusers of power would do anything to try and ensure they themselves would live without fear of death.
The knowledge of the Healer’s existence would cause chaos in the world as the population grew because people weren’t dying. This had only happened one time, in one city, centuries ago. Until that particular day, Healers hadn’t been even a thought in people’s minds or in local legend. Afterwards, however, the stories began and the legends developed and spread from generation to generation, losing momentum after the first couple.
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AJ had planned on sleeping in since it was a Saturday and Bob had given him the day off work, seeing as the newbie had already fixed every vehicle in a 20 mile radius in the previous two days. Since his dinner with Addie and Gram, his conversation with the latter, and a somewhat nerve-wracking visit with Max, he had delved into work and nothing else. He’d caught Addie’s glance when he’d returned to the B&B the night before. He’d looked away and darted inside before she could speak. He needed space to sort out all the new information he’d input into his brain in the previous week.
He really didn’t even need to sleep in, seeing as he hadn’t healed anyone in about a week. He was feeling at maximum strength. His conscience, on the other hand, was starting to weigh on him for not creating some good in the world as of late. He hadn’t felt anything sinister since his night at Max’s home so he hoped the Grim had passed by without making an appearance anywhere near Lee.
Sleeping in was not meant to be as around sunrise a knock came at his door.
“I’m not decent Helen, I’ll be out in a minute,” he said, sitting up. The voice that responded back was not that of an older woman.
“Get outta bed, stranger. It’s time for that tour I promised you.”
Addie.
What he wanted to do was tell her to go away, he didn’t want the tour today. He didn’t want to be rude either, though. Maybe she had forgotten all about Gram’s house, and they could make a go as friends.
“Not likely,” he whispered to himself.
“Just a minute, Addie,” he said, standing up and stretching. He pulled on some shorts - appropriate since he only slept in underwear. He rubbed his eyes to wake up a bit and with a sigh walked over and turned the aged door knob.
“Addie, I think I’m gonna pass on the tour today,” he said in a low voice, keeping his eyes to the ground until the last word had exited his mouth.
“This isn’t for you, you know. It’s to pay a debt. You fixed my truck, I owe you. I settle my debts.”
“Then rain check?” Perhaps more time would give him a chance to figure out how to keep his distance.
“You’re not getting out of it. What is it? My breath? My hair? Not that I give a damn about what you think. I only know you have nothing else to do today. Plenty of girls have been askin’ Bob when you’re working - and the word around town is you have today off. It’s not often we get a handsome stranger in town. Don’t give me that look either. I said it – handsome stranger. That’s what they’re callin’ you. Not sure I agree.”
She wondered if the lie slipped past her tongue with sincerity. If he wanted to act like nothing had happened, she would definitely do the same.
He gave a slight laugh and kept her back by leaning against the door and keeping it as closed as possible.
“Addie, not now. Today, I just want to sit around, do nothing.”
“Then at least come to a party today. You’ll get to meet lots of people. They’re all askin’ about you, and they won’t leave you alone until they are satisfied they’ve met you and don’t think you’re a threat to the town.”
He sighed with resignation. He knew she wasn’t going to give up and maybe if he got it over with, he’d have the space he so desperately wanted.
“Fine,” he replied. “What time?”
“I’ll come back at noon. You know, so you can get your beauty sleep. You really need it or you’re going to disappoint all those ladies wondering about you. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
She winked and started walking away. He watched her for a moment before closing the door and running his hands through his hair. That girl was going to get the best of him.
A very cold shower awaited him, indeed.
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She was timely if nothing else. Addie strolled into the B&B at precisely noon with Rose on her heels, marching straight up to AJ’s room. When he opened his door he was somewhat stunned by the woman he saw standing in front of him. Instead of her usual jean shorts or jeans and plaid shirt, she was decked out in a sundress that only served to highlight the glow of her skin and lines of her body. Her hair was long and gorgeous and the cowboy boots added a sense of rustic to her getup. He needed another cold shower.
He had on another trademark button up, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his khaki cargo shorts and sandals making him stand out from everyone else in town. He wondered if he’d eventually start dressing like a southern boy. He actually liked the jeans and t-shirt look, so he was already halfway there.
They pulled up to the local VFW about 15 minutes later, Rose pressed between them in the pickup’s seat. AJ made sure his hands still looked greasy from work so that he wouldn’t have much to explain when he didn’t want to shake hand
s. He wondered if people thought he was a germ-a-phobe from his inclination to shy away from handshakes. Winter was his favorite time, because he got to wear gloves – something he probably wouldn’t need to do down here.
As he stepped out of the truck, he saw a banner. He hadn’t thought to ask prior to coming what the party was for, but it was apparent now. They were attending a benefit for a local family whose daughter had developed cancer a year or so ago.
His heart beat faster, knowing that whatever awaited him beyond that door was not going to be the type of party he had been expecting. He hadn’t been in the position in awhile as he had closed himself off. It was the first time in a long time that he actually felt fearful of having to perhaps heal someone. After the hospital incident, he was scared that it might lead to someone finding out about him, and he’d have to take off and start all over again.
Once inside, Addie went wild introducing him to this person and that person. She stood close to him, navigating him away from the men and women she knew were talkers, the ones she knew might leave a bad taste in his mouth. Part of her simply didn’t want to give all the women ample opportunity to talk to him. She felt protective, and possibly something else. The whole situation bothered her.
At one point mid-conversation with the waitress he’d first met in the café, he noticed a little girl in the back of the room dancing with her friends. Her little bald head was highlighted with a bright pink floral headband which for a moment might make a person miss the fact that she had no hair. The light reflected off of her porcelain skin and although there were dark circles under her eyes, they were almost twinkling.
She held an aura of innocence that children possessed, her shriveled body twirling this way and that in a beautiful pink dress. The garb, baggy on her skin and bones frame, made each of her movements bigger than her tiny little body.
She caught his stare, a giant smile overtaking her face. Running over to him, she reached out her hand to take his.
“Hi,” she said, “I’m Isabelle!”
It was the moment of truth.
“Hi,” he said gently, lowering himself down to her level by taking a knee. He put her hand in-between his, careful not to hurt her. She seemed more delicate than a flower petal. “I’m AJ. It’s nice to meet you.”
The visions started, flashing brightly in his mind as he struggled to keep a smile on his face. Her bed, her sweet face lying there connected to wires and tubes. Her parents quietly crying in the corner while her siblings tried to get her to color with them or play a game of cards. A future that only showed her parents rallying fundraising to provide a better cancer facility for children in the area - and succeeding.
“Nice to meet you, too,” she said, bringing him back. He smiled even though his heart was breaking. He hated this part. The part where someone’s passing – especially a child – would bring about a change in the world that would help more people than she could imagine. And the worst part?
She leaned in to whisper to him.
“You’re like an angel. I can see it in your eyes. It will be okay, you know. I’m ready for heaven. Just take care of my mommy and daddy and baby brothers, please.”
She pulled back, and looked right into his eyes with a vast smile. He squeezed her hand a little tighter. The worst part was the children whose innocence allowed them to see Healers differently than the rest of the world did, as special people there to change lives. These children never told anyone for the same reason wishes are kept secret when tossing coins into a wishing well - children believe in the importance of magic.
She let go of his shaking hand and fluttered to the back of the room, surrounded by her friends and dancing. He rose up slowly, hands tucked into his pockets. When their eyes met again, little Isabelle mouthed, “I’m okay.”
“I see you met Isabelle,” Addie’s voice said from next to him. “She’s a real sweet kid. Her parents say they think the doctors can cure her. I bet they will. She’s too sweet a kid to go to heaven this soon.”
The words pierced AJ’s heart. It was a burden to have to know someone’s future and not be able to share it – especially when he possessed the ability to change it physically even when the laws of the world said he shouldn’t.
“That she is,” he whispered, looking towards the door. He wanted to make a break for it, get back to the B&B and try and forget about what had just happened. He wasn’t prepared to heal again. He was even less prepared to not be able to.
“I think I’m going to head out.”
“Okay. I’ll drive you home,” she said, starting towards the door in front of him.
“Actually Addie, I think I’m going to walk back myself.”
“Listen, I’m sorry it was a depressing party.” She could see his face was sullen and felt bad that she had brought him to this party as his introduction to town. She’d just wanted to get him out of the house. “It’s just I thought you could meet some people-”
“It’s okay, Addie, thank you for bringing me. It really was nice to meet folks. But I just feel like walking.”
He hurried outside before she could find her belongings and daughter. He could get a head start and maybe she’d leave him be.
“AJ, wait up!” he heard from behind him. “I’ll walk with you!”
He turned to see Addie jogging towards him.
“Addie, I said-”
“I don’t care. I’m walking with you. Fresh air would do me some good, too, and Gram already said she’d take Rose.”
He sighed and resigned himself to the fact that she was coming with and there was nothing he could do short of being extremely rude to stop her – something he was not going to do, considering he wanted to make this place a home.
“Fine,” he muttered to her.
“Is it the little girl that has you so upset? Did you have a sister or something that died?” The words sounded crasser escaping her lips than they had in her mind.
He shook his head, never looking at her.
“Then what is it? I mean, I know it’s depressing. The doctors are going to fix her, though.”
He wanted to yell that they weren’t going to fix her and he knew it for a fact. He knew better. She’d never understand. He just smiled at her like he’d done with hundreds of others before and said, “You’re probably right.”
“What is it with you?” she asked after a pause. “I don’t understand you. Your mood swings are like a woman.”
“I’ve been alone a long time. I’ve lost a lot of people. This is how I protect myself.”
It was the most honest answer he could give. Maybe she’d take the hint and let him be.
She stepped in front of him now that they were a safe distance from peering eyes. She could say what she’d been thinking about since the night at Gram’s house.
“I’m not one to beat around the bush. You scare me,” she said, hands tucked in her pockets.
AJ was stunned by her brazenness. He knew his height and features were daunting. He hadn’t thought he’d be the type to scare people though. His mind scoured his recently banked memories for any words or actions he might have let out that painted him as less than a decent human being.
“Why would you be scared of me? I haven’t done anything cruel or said anything rude. Well, overly rude.”
“That’s not why you scare me,” she said, looking up at his eyes. “This,” she said, pointing back and forth between them, “This scares me.”
The only sound was the air rushing through the branches and fields, pushing the crops back and forth. He understood. In that moment he knew he had to put an end to anything that might be between them so that he didn’t hurt her further. His mind was made up and she wasn’t a part of it.
“There is no this,” he said in almost a hushed whisper. “I don’t want there to be a this.”
She looked at him and felt her heart drop, the same way it had the moment Rose’s father had left town and never looked back. She knew she felt something for this stranger and was su
re it had been mutual. She had never felt so embarrassed in her life, not even when people gossiped about how Joseph treated her.
She turned her back and started walking and AJ flipped his head up to the sky knowing full well what he had just done to her. He kicked the dirt with his sandal, sighing heavily.
“Addie. Addie, wait up!”
He began to jog until she turned around, put her arm out to signal him to stop, and shook her head. He could see from the sunlight touching her face that her eyes were filled with tears.
“What a shitty day,” he said to himself.
He watched her from a distance as she put quite a bit of ground between them until she was walking so quickly she disappeared over the horizon. He had felt uneasy all day, beginning from the moment he had woken up. He had known the day was not going to go well and all he wanted was to retire to his room for the night and sleep.
6 PROTECTOR
His conscience grew heavy as he approached the B&B, deciding he had to tell Helen he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to skip dinner. He knew how much it would hurt her – she seemed to look forward to having someone new to care for. His desire to be alone was outweighing his desire to please anyone else. If he was going to hurt people, he figured doing it all in one day and starting fresh tomorrow was the way to go.