by Allison Rios
Once in his room, he peeled off his shirt and flopped back on the bed, the decades-old quilted comforter disheveled from his body. The whole house was warm and lying on a blanket didn’t help. He was too mentally exhausted to move. He hadn’t had this much difficulty in his life. In the span of a week he had somehow hurled himself into a thick web of complications when he had only been looking for a simpler existence for awhile.
He sunk into the mattress, arms outstretched above his head for hours. On top of the anxiety over Addie, the guilt was beginning to creep in about not having healed anyone. He hadn’t even been looking, partly because he realized it might be a bit difficult in a town like this. Not being able to change Isabelle’s future was painful and he was angry at Addie for bringing him there, even though she had no callous intentions.
As the sun set around his visibility of the windows, his mind went over and over and over again all the day’s events. The thoughts were only broken by the sound of rain starting to fall, thunder clapping in the sky high above him. He turned his head to the open window, curtains waving in the breeze. Since the rain seemed to be falling straight down, he left it open. The storm permeated a unique smell through the air and brought a welcome coolness to the room.
As day faded to dusk and the moon signaled evening, the rain kept falling and lulled him to sleep. While the thunder raged above, he never stirred. However, the softer sounds of voices in the street below roused him from his much-needed nap. The shouting sounded like nails on a chalkboard to his ears and snapped him to attention as he strained to listen to the scene play out. The screaming was obnoxious. Matthew had warned him to mind his own business; AJ didn’t want to make anything worse for Addie.
“Addie, I told you to get in here woman, and I meant it!” the raspy voice yelled, obviously obscured by whiskey or something of the sort. “You better start listenin’ or you’re gonna end up alone!”
“I told you to get out Joseph! This isn’t your home. Go find someone else to schmooze and milk for cash.”
Addie knew she should have walked away or gone to Grams or done anything other than fight. Her inherited southern stubbornness was a hard thing to break. She always stood her ground and would do so even when the competition was sure to be the victor.
“Ya got a big mouth when your little girl isn’t here to keep you quiet now, don’t ya?” Joseph hurled back, his voice sounding even angrier.
It was silent for a moment, even the thunder ceasing as if to eavesdrop on the argument. Through the tattered screen AJ heard the vibrations of a movie-caliber slap followed by the sound of Addie’s breath being knocked out of her as she hit the ground. Without a second thought he was bounding out through his bedroom door, down the creaking stairs, through the front door and over the white porch railing in one swift movement, his legs hurdling over the top of the wooden slats and landing squarely on his feet in the grass.
He swiftly ran through the yard in the night’s mask to stand barefoot and half clothed between Addie and Joseph. The rain pelted his body. Disregarding the watery assault he stood firm. His stance was that of a fighter; someone who had been in a scuffle before and knew what to do. He hadn’t been in many fights in his life yet had always been prepared, just in case. With the anger surging through his body it didn’t take much for him to look wildly scary to Joseph, although Joseph foolishly stood his ground.
Addie was lying on the cold, damp grass, her teeth clenched, her nightgown dirty and her eyes terrified. The rain had already soaked her attire through, although she didn’t even feel it as it continued to trickle down her. Blood seeped down her chin and mingled with the raindrops to form a continuing river of red to the ground. She was stunned. Joseph had roughed her up a time or two but he’d never used such force. He was angry and she was afraid.
She looked at Joseph standing in front of them, nearly a foot shorter than AJ and only half his weight with most of that being fat. She knew a fight wouldn’t be in his best interest.
“I think it’s time you leave,” AJ growled, his fists tightly bound at his sides and ready to swing if needed.
His heart raced, and anger filled his veins with a power he hadn’t felt before. In the moonlight and soaked to the core, with every muscle in his chest, stomach and arms flexed, he looked as fierce as a warrior from a movie.
“Is this him, Addie? The one you kicked me out for?” Joseph asked, his hands thrown up in the air like it was all a big joke. “What, you gonna run and make yourself a little family with some stranger you’ve known less than a week?”
He laughed, trying to appear much tougher than he was.
“Addie kicked you out because you’re a jackass,” AJ countered, the words coming out through a tight jaw in a very fearful fashion.
He could hear Addie shaking behind him, her cries and gasps louder than she imagined as she tried to hold them in. Joseph took a step as if he would walk around the muscled stranger and AJ shifted his body to remain a barrier between the drunk and Addie.
“You’re not touching her again.”
Joseph took another step as if to challenge AJ.
“I said you’re not touchin’ her again. If you want to be able to use those fists in the future, I suggest you turn around and leave before the bones all need to be reset. If you want to fight someone, you’ll fight a man, not her.”
Joseph stared at him for what Addie felt was an hour before turning with a grunt to leave. His truck peeled out of the driveway, kicking up rocks and mud. AJ watched until he was a mile down the road before turning around to look at Addie.
She sat there, her lip bleeding and her body wet and shaking. She looked scared and embarrassed, as if she’d been crying all night. AJ realized it was possible she had been. She was looking at him intently.
“You okay?” he asked, crouching down in front of her.
“I- -I think so,” she stammered, touching her lip with her fingers and pulling them back to see the crimson dotting the tips.
“I’m so sorry!” she said, beginning to cry.
This hadn’t been the same girl he thought he was getting to know. He hadn’t witnessed her vulnerable side and it hadn’t occurred to him that she owned one. She seemed so different, so scared. He couldn’t leave her out there like that.
“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” he continued, stretching one of his strong arms underneath her legs and wrapping the other firmly around her back.
The warmth she felt from his hands overpowered her; it felt so comforting. As he lifted her, his eyes looked across the yard to Matthew standing on the porch, gun in hand. AJ nodded to him, he nodded back and stepped inside. Slowly and carefully, AJ carried her into her house and set her on the kitchen counter.
He picked up a towel from the counter and lightly wiped her rain-soaked face.
“Let me see your lip,” he said, brushing the coffee colored strands back to get a clear look. It wasn’t deep, although it was big enough to spill quite a bit of blood.
He wanted so badly to heal the wound and make it disappear. He also knew he couldn’t explain it. Those types of healings were reserved for those who wouldn’t remember, like coma victims or those who were asleep. It was too risky to try such a maneuver on someone who would know what happened, even if he tried to explain it away. He lowered his hand, stopping himself with everything he had in him. The visions didn’t give him anything, and he couldn’t heal without knowing if he should. For all he knew, maybe she needed the bruise for a few days to remind her to stay away from Joseph.
“Rose could have been here…” she uttered, tears forming in her eyes again and her voice raising its pitch.
“She wasn’t though. She’s okay,” he continued, lifting her chin to see the damage. “Let me get you some ice.”
She pointed him in the direction of the clean towels and he wrapped a few ice cubes inside and placed them on her lip, her hand reaching up to take over holding it.
He stepped back, his hands resting against the cheap laminate
countertop behind him. She wouldn’t look at him, focusing her gaze firmly on the floor.
“Addie, you can look at me.”
“You’re judging me.”
“I’m not judging you. Trust me; I’ve had my secrets and my mistakes. I’m not here to judge anyone.”
“I still think you’re judging me even if you don’t think it.”
“I just want to be your friend,” he said, moving back over to her. He was drawn to her. His heart physically ached when he saw her in pain – those were feelings he couldn’t stop.
“I want to be here for you.”
“As just a friend?” she asked, lowering the ice from her lip and finally looking into his eyes. The tears made her eyes seem even larger than normal. More beautiful if that was a possibility. “As just a friend,” he managed to get out. A lie, but one he felt he had to tell. She wasn’t ready for someone new he assured himself, muttering internally that he was doing the right thing.
Or so his mind said.
She looked back down and moved the ice up to her lip. “Thank you for stepping in tonight,” she replied. “I…I still owe you that tour, stranger.”
She was scrambling for things to say.
“Friend,” he countered. “I’m not a stranger anymore.”
“I’ll settle for friend,” she said, sniffling again. Her ego had taken a bigger beating than her lip tonight, she thought.
“I’m going to sleep on your couch,” AJ said, taking a look out the door. “Just in case.”
“People will talk.”
“Let them. I’d rather people say a thousand bad things about me than any good things about you at a memorial service.” He looked back over his shoulder and she laughed.
“You really are different, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, shutting the door and turning the lock.
Addie set a pillow and blanket on the couch while AJ walked around and checked all the windows and doors.
“Do you need more?” she asked. “I have plenty more. You can sleep in Rose’s bed if it would be more comfortable, she won’t be home till tomorrow.”
“I’m fine, really, this is plenty,” he said, unfolding the blanket. He smiled at her. He probably wouldn’t sleep anyway.
“Don’t smile. What a shitty night,” she replied, a smile escaped her lips.
“I’d have to agree. It’ll get better now.”
“I hope.”
She headed off to her room and curled up in the middle of her bed, her arms wrapped around her legs. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Every noise that echoed through the house from a branch scraping a window or a cricket chirping sent shivers up her spine. She sat there for an hour, tracing the pattern of pink flowers on her bedspread, opening and closing the blinds, peeking out of her door around the corner to the couch. When she was sure he had ample time to fall asleep, she tiptoed out into the living room and watched his chest rise and fall with each breath that he took, stretched out on his back.
She felt something for him. She was certain time stood still when he looked at her. Each time they touched a connection grew between them like nothing she had ever experienced before. She didn’t understand the feelings and they scared her.
It appeared to her that he felt it too. She was determined to figure out why he was so adamant about being just friends. Perhaps he was repulsed by her looks? Maybe all the drama of her life made him hesitant? A week ago she had been perfectly happy in her life even with the dysfunction, and then AJ came into the picture and she felt obligated to change her life and make room for him. He had never suggested it. It was merely implied in his gestures and enhanced by what she felt - and she couldn’t explain it.
“I’m probably as crazy as my mother,” she whispered, rolling her eyes. He shifted, causing her to freeze. Not wanting him to open his eyes and see her standing there, she remained silent not wanting to portray herself as a stalker.
“You gonna stand there all night?” she heard him ask, his eyes still closed and facing the back of the couch. She was mortified.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she countered, “and I was going to get a drink of water.”
“Sure,” he replied, a grin spreading across his face. He opened his eyes and looked over at her. She looked terrified still.
“Come here,” he said, sitting up on the couch and patting the outdated pattern on the cushion next to him. He lifted up the blanket, and after a brief hesitation, she moved quickly to his side and curled up in the seat next to him. He lifted his arm and put it around her, pulling her into his chest. His scent wafted through her nose, the fragrance of his body enveloping her. She rested her head on his chest, setting her hand there as well. The methodical beat of his heart mixed emphatically with the rain. She could have sworn it beat faster for awhile, before slowing down to a gentle hum.
He pulled her closer again as if to hug her and then rested his head on top of hers.
“Get some sleep,” he said. “No one’s going to hurt you.”
Addie let the beat of his heart fill her mind, like a sound-machine of safety, as she drifted off to sleep.
AJ noticed there was no shocking feeling upon touching her now, only a calming effect and a tremendous amount of warmth.
He felt her twitching awhile later and figured she must have been dreaming. If he could have slept he would have been dreaming, too. He was worried that Joseph might come back, and the uneasy feeling hadn’t left him since that morning. Perhaps that was why, he thought.
He wrapped the blanket around her again, making sure she was covered. For the warm weather they were having the nights could be cool despite having shut and locked all the windows. Tomorrow wasn’t going to be an easy decision. His mind and heart were equally torn between leaving her alone or suggesting he stay, knowing full well she’d reject the offer she’d see as babysitting. He knew he’d now be watching her – even if from a distance - ensuring she was safe. He was fully absorbed with worry about her future.
Addie’s mind was filled with the night’s events. She’d never been openly scared of Joseph, although he’d been different that night. A man who felt scorned, abandoned. She was scared that he’d do anything to keep her. It wasn’t her safety she was concerned with anymore; her daughter Rose was at risk of his temper, and now she’d brought AJ into it as well. Her mind drifted to AJ and his superhero appearance as he stood between her and Joseph. He seemed to tower completely above them, from her point of view on the ground. In nothing except an old pair of worn-in shorts, his body was lit up by the street lights and the moon, and every movement he had made flexed another muscle, making him seem all the more insurmountable to an enemy. She had never been so thankful in her life for someone butting into her business.
She snuggled closer to him, breathing him in. Everything about him made her want him. She was drifting back into consciousness, and she slowly moved her hand up to his face. Perhaps she just felt so alone, or perhaps she felt tied to him after the evening they had been through. She couldn’t stop herself. She moved her hand slowly across his cheek and felt his face turn into it.
“Addie,” he whispered, “I can’t. Try and sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep,” she said. “I want you.”
“I can’t. You can’t,” he replied, his voice cracking as he struggled to get the words out. “You’ve been through a lot. Just go back to sleep.”
“What’s wrong with me?” she whispered, pulling her hand away and scooting back on the couch a bit.
“Nothing is wrong with you.”
“Then it’s the old, it’s not you, it’s me bit?” she said harshly.
“No. I just can’t! Damn Addie, why can’t you let it go? Are you always this damn persistent?”
The emotions were overwhelming and getting the best of her. She was losing control and felt even more lost with every word coming out of her mouth.
“I want to know why! I want to know why I feel this for you. Why I feel this rush go th
rough me when you’re around! Why you make me lose sight of everything else, even when I’m trying to be as laid-back about it as possible! Do you think I want to feel like I’m begging you? Like I’m forcing you to kiss me? I don’t know what the hell is happening, but in all my life I’ve never been as consumed by a man as I am by you and it scares the hell outta me.”
She was on the verge of tears again and beginning to completely resent the shell of a person she thought she’d become. She’d never been like this. She’d been brave, daring even. Now just a mere look at AJ was making her crumble like a love-sick teenager.
He turned to face her on the couch, resting his hands on her legs. How did he explain this to her, he wondered? He was ashamed of himself for having to lie to her, even though in actuality he knew he was only omitting parts of the story.
“Addie, I wish I could explain, but I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you, I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe, see you happy. I feel something for you, yes, although I don’t know what to say to you other than it can’t happen. It won’t happen. Not right now and perhaps not ever. It’s complicated, and I can’t talk about it. I just need you to back off. There are millions of people on this earth and one of them is out there especially for you. I want you to have that. You need to let whatever is between you and I go.”
She looked lost, confused, and AJ felt downtrodden for having to speak to her like that. It hadn’t even been a week, and he couldn’t believe that he had feelings – intense feelings – like this, when he’d never had them before. It wasn’t possible and he couldn’t grasp it.
“I don’t think I can let it go and be around you still,” she whispered in a choked voice. “I can’t explain it. It’s humiliating. And to see you next door every day and ponder the what if’s, I don’t know what that will do to me.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
She was silent.
“Do you want me to leave town? I can go somewhere else. There are plenty of places I can move to. Just say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”
He wanted her to say no. He wanted to stay in this town for at least a bit longer. He just didn’t want to hurt her anymore. Still silence.