The Touch (Healer Series)

by Allison Rios

  She grabbed his cheeks in her hands, turning his head side to side as she inspected. She hadn’t been dreaming, had she?

  “There’s nothing there AJ! You had a big old’ cut last night that I cleaned up! I swear!”

  He just looked at her, unsure what to say. He didn’t want to lie. There was simply no explanation she would understand.

  “AJ, I’m not crazy! Oh my God, am I going crazy like my mama?”

  “Addie, you’re not crazy. Calm down!” he said, reaching out to grab her hand.

  She pulled back. “Was I that tired? Did I just imagine it?” She turned away, her heart sinking as she truly believed that perhaps her mother’s craziness had been genetically passed onto her.

  She turned back, walking towards him. He flipped the ball, hoping to distract her or something. She caught it and tossed it back, making it whiz right past his head. He turned to look at it and she saw his haircut.

  Even more, she saw the reason he kept that part just a little longer.

  The scar was large and visible to everyone’s eyes, mortal or not. It was a circular shape, appearing as something like a burn scar on his skin. One was etched onto every Healer’s skin. It was their mark; a reminder that they are an integral part of the circle of life, of the continuing life of the planet.

  She reached out to touch it, her fingers moving over it before he could turn his head.

  “And what the hell is that? Why did you cut your hair?”

  She was in meltdown mode, to say the least. She was sure of what she saw the day before. At least she thought she had been. With Isabelle’s funeral and being so tired, she was convincing herself that maybe she had dreamt up everything. Maybe she was still angry at AJ.

  He flinched, lightly grabbing her hand and pulling it away.

  “It’s just an old scar Addie, no big deal. Had it since I was a kid.”

  “What happened? It’s like a perfect circle. Like someone burned you.”

  “Maybe they did, I don’t know. Maybe it was from the car accident. I never asked, just knew it had always been there.”

  He was eager to change the subject.

  “I thought we were going to be honest with each other,” she replied, the tears he had seemed to cause an awful lot of lately building in her eyes. “I thought you cared.”

  “I do care!” he said, aching to make the whole fight-not fight-fight scenarios stop. He just wanted to be friends, no complications.

  “I’m protecting you Addie, can’t you see that? There’s things about my past I can’t talk about. Things I don’t want to talk about. They’re things you wouldn’t want to know. Things that would change the way you think about me and look at me.”

  She saw the pain in his eyes, the tenseness of his body, and let it drop. She would never understand him, she thought. She looked up to see Gram in the window signaling dinner. Addie turned and began walking up the steps in silence, not even looking back. AJ sat on the porch swing, needing a moment to collect his composure. Not even a minute had passed before Gram was out the creaky screen door and next to him on the swing.

  Without a word she just sat, her hand resting atop his. She understood the pain he was going through, the things he was feeling. She’d felt them all before and had been eager to give up the powers she had in exchange for a more normal, more peaceful life.

  “Is it hard?” he asked, motioning to the house and yard. She knew he wasn’t asking about material things.

  “Life is hard AJ, no matter what cards you’re dealt. And as hard as we all think we have it, there’s always someone with something worse.”

  “Was it hard to give up the life, the one that I have now?” He looked at her and she knew what he was asking.

  “It is. It really is. There’s guilt which will last as long as you do. When you see someone sick, someone dying, every time asking yourself if you could have helped. Wondering if you could have made their transition easier.”

  “Was love hard?”

  “The hardest thing I ever did,” she said before gently adding, “but also the best.”

  “George isn’t here, though. You had to watch him die.”

  “Yes, I did. I had to watch it and know that if we had just stayed friends, he might have still been alive. I might have been able to save him. I’d look at everyone as if they might be a Healer, wondering if someone had touched him and if perhaps they saw that he shouldn’t be healed because he was so sick. I also know Healers aren’t in every town and can’t be everywhere. It’s a chance you take. Not every person who should be healed is. The important part for me was what was left behind by George - a beautiful daughter, a beautiful granddaughter, and now a great-granddaughter. You live and carry on and sometimes it seems easier because you have people there to love you no matter what.”

  “Do you regret giving this up?” he asked.

  She paused, assessing his question. It was fair. She didn’t want to lead him with her own decisions but knew he needed to understand both sides of possibility if he were to make a choice for himself.

  “Miss it, yes. Regret it, no. You can’t live a life with regret no matter what path you choose. That’s the toughest choice – figuring out which decision will allow you to live with no regrets.”

  She squeezed his hand and stood up. “Come on in and eat. Rose misses you and is looking forward to seeing you.”

  “Addie noticed my gash was gone. I forgot. I just didn’t think about it before I came over.”

  “Don’t worry about Addie. She’ll forget.”

  “She thinks she’s crazy like her mother.”

  “She’s crazy all right. Not like her mama, though. Really, it will work out.”

  AJ stood up next to Helen, taking her hand into his, ready to walk into the most awkward dinner in the history of dinners. Which choice would he regret making? It was one of the most daunting decisions he felt he’d ever have to make.

  **************************************************

  After dinner, AJ helped Gram with the dishes as Rose and Addie picked up the mess from the games they’d played all afternoon.

  Addie was still confused. She couldn’t resist the urge to be near AJ.

  “You heading back?” he asked from the front porch, Addie standing right outside the screen door.

  “In a bit. Just gonna clean up the rest, get the little one ready for bed. She’s going to stay here tonight.”

  “Why don’t I wait for you?” he responded, not wanting to leave her there or let her go home alone at night. “I’ll give you a ride and you can come back in the morning to pick everything up.”

  Addie walked over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders. She was eye level with him, since he was on the bottom steps while she stood on the splintering wood of the porch.

  She sighed, choosing her words carefully.

  “I’m tired AJ.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m offering to drive.”

  “Not physically,” she smiled. “Emotionally tired. Tired of being talked about by the town, tired of being lied to by everyone – including you – and tired of having feelings that I know are never gonna be reciprocated. I know we said we’d be friends. I just need a little space. Maybe some time will let me get over whatever this is and move forward.”

  “You want me to leave town?” he asked again.

  “No, not town. Just give me some space, that’s all I’m asking. I want normal. I want to be happy. I need to figure out what that is. You did a good thing for me, making me see how bad Joseph was for me and Rose, and I’m grateful for that. I need to figure out who I am before I can be anything of any sort to anyone else.”

  AJ understood. Maybe a little distance would keep the Grim away from her, too.

  “I can do that for you,” he said, stepping back away from her. How long do you need?”

  “I don’t know,” she answered. “You’ll figure it out.”

  She turned back into the house, closing the heavy wood door behind her. As h
e walked back to the car, he knew it was for the best, especially right now. This would keep her away from Devin, away from the fight. It would keep Devin uninterested in her. And mostly, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt her if something happened to him.

  He got back in his car, heading towards the B&B. There was a lot to be done-- a lot of studying to do in preparation.

  13 ONE TOUCH

  In his dreams, AJ often saw trees; oak trees, a symbol of strength and longevity. They were tall and sturdy, stunning and majestic as they grew to towering heights that could oversee the country below them. Their branches spread out as they grew year after year, sprouting newer, smaller branches along the way and seemingly reaching up into the heavens.

  Sometimes the tree was full of life, the leaves covering branches and creating a warm and welcoming shelter for everyone from children to adults, friends to lovers. They carved their names into the trunk, etching their hopes and dreams of togetherness in a place for the world to see and to remain for as long as the tree was upright.

  Sometimes the branches were bare, nothing except the leathery brown of the bark protruding forth. Empty and alone, the magnificent tree stood alone trying in vain to shelter the ground underneath it. A futile attempt, given that everything it needed to take care of people was gone.

  AJ had come to find it a metaphor for his own life. He knew his level of loneliness by how desolate the tree’s branches were in his dreams. Covered in leaves he felt alive, with purpose. He felt the spirits of those he healed surrounding him and making him stronger, forging a path of function for him.

  And when the branches were bare he was at his worst, the emptiness overpowering his life. He felt alone, lost without his mother or a family to call his own. He felt angry about those he couldn’t heal. He felt exposed to the enemy who could easily see his weaknesses with no cover.

  Most of the dreams he had involving trees included the bare version, an emptiness surrounding him again. No home had felt safe to him until he arrived in Lee. He’d had nights of dreams now where the tree was full, the grass green and the sky blue. And at the trunks base, resting in the blanket of grass and gazing up through the branches into the sky of puffy white clouds was Addie.

  **************************************************

  The sun broke on the morning and the roosters that had begun to serve as an alarm clock stirred AJ. Back to the usual nightmares, his brain attempted to clear the fog of early consciousness. Only this time, they involved the future and not the past. Matthew and Helen had already gone into town for the weekly groceries, leaving AJ and Max at the B&B to rest.

  As he did every morning, he looked out his window, surveying the property as if there would be a legion of Grims awaiting him. The moments before looking out were like a horror movie. He knew the chilling images he had created in his mind didn’t exist, yet there was still an innate fear that those fears would indeed be real as he gazed upon the ground below.

  He saw Addie, Gram and Rose in their front yard, Addie changing a tire on her beloved pickup truck while Rose played with her dolls on the lawn. As he turned his gaze to the left, he felt it before he saw it. Max was knocking on his door.

  “He’s close.”

  “I know. I see him,” AJ responded. Pulling on shorts and running outside, they stood on the porch ready to react if needed. Devin jogged up the center of the street directly between AJ and Max, and Addie and Rose. Even his athletic clothes were black.

  “Morning,” he said, his feet remaining in motion as he jogged in place. “What, no warm welcome?”

  Addie shuddered. It was eerie that Devin was acting as if nothing happened, and then she remembered the day before: AJ had no marks, so maybe it hadn’t. She looked back at Devin, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

  “Morning Devin.”

  The sound made AJ’s skin crawl. He knew what she was thinking. He’d seen her face the day before when he had no marks. She believed she had imagined everything. He had pushed her back towards a friendship with Devin with his lies. He wanted to tear Devin’s head off. He knew the attempt would be futile and would out he and Max to the world, thus erasing their strength.

  Devin smiled over at AJ.

  “Nothing from you?”

  “Guess not,” AJ growled, jogging down to the sidewalk. “What are you doing here?”

  “Free world, AJ. I can run wherever I want to. I’m not hurting anyone.”

  “Yet,” AJ replied.

  Addie was growing tired of the teenage-like rivalry between the two.

  Devin turned towards Addie, taking steps towards her. AJ stayed put, watching closely.

  “Need a hand?”

  He reached as though he were going to pick up tools Addie had in hand, smiling at AJ as he did. He was taunting him, making AJ unsure as to when and where he’d touch the girl that he knew AJ loved.

  AJ took a step closer and Max grabbed his arm, holding him back.

  “I’ve got it, but thanks,” Addie replied, beginning her walk towards the truck to finish the job she had started. If they wanted to bicker, they could do it without her.

  “Wait,” Devin said, reaching out again.

  AJ shouted “No!” and ran towards her, ready to stand in the way to prevent Devin from disturbing her life anymore than the world already had.

  “Stop it!” Addie yelled, freezing both men in their tracks. She was loud and stubborn and her voice carried enough leverage to make them both think better about a next move. Devin shrunk back and AJ stopped in mid-stride.

  “I’m tired of this. Take your childish fighting somewhere else. We don’t want to hear it anymore!”

  Rose had dropped her doll behind them, surprised by her mother’s scream. Addie glared at both of them and Devin’s smile faded, realizing it might be harder than he thought to antagonize AJ if Addie wanted nothing to do with him. If she wasn’t going to give Devin the chance to be near her, he’d never get to AJ.

  AJ was watching Addie as she walked towards the front tire of the truck, taking his eyes off of Devin as he did. When he turned back, he was too late. He watched as Devin handed Rose back her doll – his other hand on her back.

  “You shocked me!” Rose giggled, thinking it felt funny as the Grim’s hand touched her.

  AJ’s heart fell one thousand miles per hour into his stomach.

  “Have a nice day,” Devin said, turning back towards the road. “I imagine you’ll all be…very busy.”

  AJ looked at Max, who shot him back a look.

  “I don’t know,” Max whispered. “I can’t sense it.”

  AJ walked over to Rose, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  “You okay?”

  He saw nothing; no visions, only emptiness. He only felt Devin’s mark on her and it didn’t feel good.

  He stood back, Addie completely oblivious to everything that happened. Rose ran across the yard to continue playing with her dolls before disappearing into the barn to play with the huge dollhouse Matthew had built her in there to play with, since the barn itself wasn’t used for anything other than storage.

  AJ walked over to the truck.

  “Can I help?” he asked, settling down in the dirt next to her.

  “I thought I said I needed space,” she replied, grinning in his direction. It wasn’t a totally friendly grin. “Then again, you have never listened to me before, so why would you now?”

  “I’m trying to be nice.”

  “Then stop fighting with strangers.”

  “He’s not a good guy, Addie.”

  “Really? What’s he done to you?”

  AJ was sure now that she believed the other day had never happened. Whether she thought she had dreamed it or was becoming crazy like her mother, it was evident she figured it was all made up in her head. He had been gone when she woke up, and without the cuts, there was no evidence to prove they had made up that night. All she knew was she no longer felt angry at him, just somewhat indifferent.

  AJ stared out ahead, seein
g Max sitting on the old rocking chair with his gaze aimed down the street, guarding just in case Devin came back. AJ caught a glimpse of Rose running around in the yard, peaceful as could be. He didn’t know what to make of not having visions of her. Aside from Addie the emptiness had never happened, and from all that he knew, the reason he didn’t see many visions of Addie is because he had feelings for her. His face silently asked Max to do the same, yet as Max lifted his hands off her from giving her a hug, he looked at AJ: he’d seen nothing either.

  “I meant it when I said I need space,” Addie said, her mood turning serious. “You guys gotta give me some peace. The last month, two months, they’ve been a little crazy. A swell of emotions. Isabelle, you, Devin. Everything’s changing. It’s a lot to take in. I just need some breathing room.”

  She looked at him and he was staring down at the ground, his arms resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him.

  “AJ, I swear, I’m gonna work on the friends thing, but-”

  She was cut off by a scream; a very loud scream from a very tiny voice.

  “Rose!” Addie shrieked, bolting up from the ground and trekking towards the barn at an incredible pace.

  AJ followed after her, barefoot, as fast as he could run. As they emerged through the giant wooden doors, AJ’s eyes darted around until they saw her bleeding from her leg as if it were a fountain.

  “What happened? Oh my God, what happened?” screamed Addie.

  For the first time since he’d become a Healer, he felt frozen. It was different – this was someone he knew. Someone he cared about. She wasn’t his family, but she wasn’t a stranger. He struggled. Did he heal her? Did he show his gift? He wasn’t allowed to. He wasn’t allowed to do that in front of Addie, and he knew there was no way to make Addie leave.

  Addie’s hands were frantically holding her own head as she stood frozen, staring at her little girl, her eyes wide with fear. She sprang forward, pulling Rose’s head and upper body into her arms, trying not to move her lower body. Max was right behind them watching destiny unfold. Grim had struck again - the vengeful Grim. AJ was more determined than ever to remove this creature from earth. He may have been a Healer destined to provide good on earth but he was part human, too. The human part wanted to destroy the person responsible for so much harm and devastation.