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Play the Piano

Page 7

by Charles Bukowski


  are we going to the movies or not?

  she asked.

  all right, he said, let’s

  go…

  at the corner of Western and

  Franklin he put on the blinker

  to make his left turn

  and a man in the on-coming lane

  speeded-up

  as if to cut him off.

  brakes grabbed. there wasn’t a

  crash but there almost was one.

  he cursed at the man in the other

  car. the man cursed back. the

  man had another person in the car with

  him. it was his wife.

  they were going to the movies

  too.

  mermaid

  I had to come to the bathroom for something

  and I knocked

  and you were in the tub

  you had washed your face and your hair

  and I saw your upper body

  and except for the breasts

  you looked like a girl of 5, of 8

  you were gently gleeful in the water

  Linda Lee.

  you were not only the essence of that

  moment

  but of all my moments

  up to then

  you bathing easily in the ivory

  yet there was nothing

  I could tell you.

  I got what I wanted in the bathroom

  something

  and I left.

  hug the dark

  turmoil is the god

  madness is the god

  permanent living peace is

  permanent living death.

  agony can kill

  or

  agony can sustain life

  but peace is always horrifying

  peace is the worst thing

  walking

  talking

  smiling,

  seeming to be.

  don’t forget the sidewalks

  the whores,

  betrayal,

  the worm in the apple,

  the bars, the jails,

  the suicides of lovers.

  here in America

  we have assassinated a president and his brother,

  another president has quit office.

  people who believe in politics

  are like people who believe in god:

  they are sucking wind through bent

  straws.

  there is no god

  there are no politics

  there is no peace

  there is no love

  there is no control

  there is no plan

  stay away from god

  remain disturbed

  slide.

  59 cents a pound

  I like to prowl ordinary places

  and taste the people—

  from a distance.

  I don’t want them too near

  because that’s when attrition

  starts.

  but in supermarkets

  laundromats

  cafés

  street corners

  bus stops

  eating places

  drug stores

  I can look at their bodies

  and their faces

  and their clothing—

  watch the way they walk

  or stand

  or what they are doing.

  I’m like an x-ray machine

  I like them like that:

  on view.

  I imagine the best things

  about them.

  I imagine them brave and crazy

  I imagine them beautiful.

  I like to prowl the ordinary places.

  I feel sorry for us all or glad for us

  all

  caught alive together

  and awkward in that way.

  there’s nothing better than the joke

  of us

  the seriousness of us

  the dullness of us

  buying stockings and carrots and gum

  and magazines

  buying birth control

  candy

  hair spray

  and toilet paper.

  we should build a great bonfire

  we should congratulate ourselves on our

  endurance

  we stand in long lines

  we walk about

  we wait.

  I like to prowl ordinary places

  the people explain themselves to me

  and I to them

  a woman at 3:35 p.m.

  weighing purple grapes on a scale

  looking at that scale very

  seriously

  she is dressed in a simple green dress

  with a pattern of white flowers

  she takes the grapes

  puts them carefully into a white paper

  bag

  that’s lightning enough

  the generals and the doctors may kill us

  but we have

  won.

  promenade

  each night

  well, almost every night

  early in the evening

  I see the old man

  and his small black and white dog.

  it’s dark on these streets

  and no matter how often he has seen me

  he always gives me

  a look that is frightened

  and yet bold—

  bold because his small brittle dog is

  with him.

  he wears old clothing

  a wrinkled cap

  cotton gloves

  large square-toed shoes.

  we never speak.

  he is my age but I feel younger.

  I neither like nor dislike the man and his

  dog.

  I have never seen either of them

  defecate but I know that they

  must.

  he and his dog give me a feeling of

  peace.

  they belong

  like the street signs

  the lawns

  the yellow windows

  the sidewalks

  the sirens and the telephone

  wires.

  the driveways

  the parked cars

  the moon when there is a

  moon.

  metamorphosis

  a girlfriend came in

  built me a bed

  scrubbed and waxed the kitchen floor

  scrubbed the walls

  vacuumed

  cleaned the toilet

  the bathtub

  scrubbed the bathroom floor

  and cut my toenails and

  my hair.

  then

  all on the same day

  the plumber came and fixed the kitchen faucet

  and the toilet

  and the gas man fixed the heater

  and the phone man fixed the phone.

  now I sit here in all this perfection.

  it is quiet.

  I have broken off with all 3 of my girlfriends.

  I felt better when everything was in

  disorder.

  it will take me some months to get back to

  normal:

  I can’t even find a roach to commune with.

  I have lost my rhythm.

  I can’t sleep.

  I can’t eat.

  I have been robbed of

  my filth.

  we’ll take them

  those lobsters

  those 2 lobsters…

  yes, those bastards there.

  we’ll take them…

  so pink-red.

  they say if you put them

  in warm water first

  they’ll sleep

  and when you boil them

  they won’t feel it.

  how can we know?

  no matter the burning tanks outside

  Stalingrad

  no matter that Hitler was a

  vegetarian

 
no matter that the house I was born in

  is now a brothel

  in Andernach

  no matter that my Uncle Heinrich

  aged 92 and living in that same town

  dislikes my novels and short stories.

  we’ll take those 2

  bastards there

  flowers of the sea.

  dow average down

  when you

  first meet them their eyes

  are all under-

  standing; laughter abounds

  like sand fleas. then, Jesus,

  time tinkles on and

  things leak. they

  start making DEMANDS.

  what they

  demand is contrary to what-

  ever you are, or could be.

  strange is the

  thought that they’ve never

  read anything you’ve writ-

  ten, not really read it at

  all. or worse, if they have,

  they’ve come to SAVE

  you. which mainly means

  making you like everybody

  else. meanwhile they’ve sucked

  you up and wound you tight

  in a million webs, and

  being something of a

  feeling person you can’t

  help but remember the

  good parts or the parts

  that seemed to be good.

  you find yourself

  alone again in your

  bedroom grabbing your

  guts and saying, o, shit

  no, not again.

  we should have known.

  maybe we wanted cotton

  candy luck. maybe we

  believed. what trash.

  we believed like dogs

  believe.

  to weep

  sweating in the kitchen

  trying to hit one out of here

  56 years old

  fear bounding up my arms

  toenails much too long

  growth on side of leg

  the difference in the factories was

  we all felt pain

  together

  the other night I went to see the

  great soprano

  she was still beautiful

  still sensual

  still in personal mourning

  but she missed note after note

  drunk

  she murdered art

  sweating in the kitchen

  I don’t want to murder art

  I should see the doctor and get that thing

  cut off my leg

  but I am a coward

  I might scream and frighten a child

  in the waiting room

  I would like to fuck the great soprano

  I’d like to weep in her hair

  and there’s Lorca down in the road

  eating Spanish bullets in the dust

  the great soprano has never read my poems

  but we both know how to murder art

  drink and mourn

  sweating in this kitchen

  the formulas are gone

  the best poet I ever knew is dead

  the others write me letters

  I tell them that I want to fuck

  the great soprano

  but they write back about other

  things

  useless things

  dull things

  vain things

  I watch a fly land on my radio

  he knows what it is

  but he can’t talk to me

  the soprano is dead.

  fair stand the fields of France

  in the awesome strumming of no

  guitars

  I can never get too high

  in places where giraffes run like

  hate

  I can never get too lonely

  in bars where celluloid bartenders

  serve poisoned laughter

  I can never get too drunk

  at the bottom of mountains

  where suicides flow into the streams

  I smile better than the Mona Lisa

  high lonely drunken grin of grief

  I love you.

  art

  as the

  spirit

  wanes

  the

  form

  appears.

  About the Author

  CHARLES BUKOWSKI is one of America’s best-known contemporary writers of poetry and prose, and, many would claim, its most influential and imitated poet. He was born in Andernach, Germany, to an American soldier father and a German mother in 1920, and brought to the United States at the age of three. He was raised in Los Angeles and lived there for fifty years. He published his first story in 1944 when he was twenty-four and began writing poetry at the age of thirty-five. He died in San Pedro, California, on March 9, 1994, at the age of seventy-three, shortly after completing his last novel, Pulp (1994).

  During his lifetime he published more than forty-five books of poetry and prose, including the novels Post Office (1971), Factotum (1975), Women (1978), Ham on Rye (1982), and Hollywood (1989). Among his most recent books are the posthumous editions of What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through the Fire (1999), Open All Night: New Poems (2000), Beerspit Night and Cursing: The Correspondence of Charles Bukowski and Sheri Martinelli (2001), and Night Torn Mad with Footsteps: New Poems (2001).

  All of his books have now been published in translation in more than a dozen languages and his worldwide popularity remains undiminished. In the years to come Ecco will publish additional volumes of previously uncollected poetry and letters.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI

  The Days Run A way Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969)

  Post Office (1971)

  Mockingbird Wish Me Luck (1972)

  South of No North (1973)

  Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame: Selected Poems 1955—1973 (1974)

  Factotum (1975)

  Love Is a Dog from Hell: Poems 1974—1977 (1977)

  Women (1978)

  You Kissed Lilly (1978)

  Play the piano drunk Like a percussion Instrument Until the fingers begin to bleed a bit (1979)

  Shakespeare Never Did This (1979)

  Dangling in the Tournefortia (1981)

  Ham on Rye (1982)

  Bring Me Your Love (1983)

  Hot Water Music (1983)

  There’s No Business (1984)

  War All the Time: Poems 1981—1984 (1984)

  You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986)

  The Movie: “Barfly” (1987)

  The Roominghouse Madrigals: Early Selected Poems 1946—1966 (1988)

  Hollywood (1989)

  Septuagenarian Stew: Stories & Poems (1990)

  The Last Night of the Earth Poems (1992)

  Screams from the Balcony: Selected Letters 1960—1970 (Volume 1) (1993)

  Pulp (1994)

  Living on Luck: Selected Letters 1960s—1970s (Volume 2) (1995)

  Betting on the Muse: Poems & Stories (1996)

  Bone Palace Ballet: New Poems (1997)

  The Captain Is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship (1998)

  Reach for the Sun: Selected Letters 1978—1994 (Volume 3) (1999)

  What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through the Fire: New Poems (1999)

  Open All Night: New Poems (2000)

  Beerspit Night and Cursing: The Correspondence of Charles Bukowski & Sheri Martinelli (2001)

  The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps: New Poems (2001)

  Sifting Through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way: New Poems (2002)

  Copyright

  PLAY THE PIANO DRUNK LIKE A PERCUSSION INSTRUMENT UNTIL THE FINGERS BEGIN TO BLEED A BIT. Copyright © 1970, 1973, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, by Charles Bukowski. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventi
ons. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  Mobipocket Reader August 2007 ISBN 978-0-06-149204-4

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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