Erased

by Elle Christensen

  “Fuck, J. You can’t go cuddling up to every asshole who comes in here and shows an interest. Get a fucking puppy, but don’t get yourself killed because some douchebag calls you pretty.”

  His words cut me deep and I’m momentarily stunned by them before finding my inner claws again.

  “He wasn’t going to kill me. And he called me gorgeous.”

  Another growl. He almost sounds possessive. Too bad I know the truth. He’s just a fucking bull dog that growls all the time. I’m a burden to him, not a possession.

  “Simon took over your table.” His voice is calm but firm.

  As he starts to leave, I sniffle, “It was all taken from me. I don’t know how long I have to stay here, but don’t take away every shred of me. Please.”

  He stalks over to me and envelops me in his intoxicating scent. God he smells amazing. I shudder when he palms my cheek and his rough thumb gently strokes my face near my nose. My eyes find his steel-colored ones and beg for a little more length on my leash. For one single moment, I think he’ll cave. The small twitch of a smile tells me so.

  But I should have known better. Suddenly, his authoritative walls are back up and his glare is back in place.

  “Stop getting personal with the customers. You can take the next table, but Simon already took over that customer. The skirt can stick around for tonight only, but tomorrow, just wear fucking jeans.” Then he pinches my cheek—much like my father would do—before dropping his hand and leaving me with nothing but tears, confusion, and anger.

  Jill misses Joss.

  HER TEARS ARE killing me. I want so badly to wrap her up in my arms and take away all the hurt in her right now. Especially the hurt I’ve caused. Instead, I step back and let her pass by me.

  I stand there for a moment, but my feet eventually take on a mind of their own and I find myself wandering out to the bar. She’s at the kitchen window, grabbing an order. Just as she turns to take it to her customer, her eyes meet mine for the briefest of seconds before she quickly looks away and practically runs off to deliver the food. I can’t keep my eyes from following her around the room.

  “You should just ask her out, boss-man.” Simon has stepped up to the bar and is staring at me while he waits for requested drinks. With a lopsided grin, he says, “She might be able to help dislodge the stick up your ass. You know what I mean?”

  I know I should be pissed and not let him talk to his boss that way, but Simon has a way about him. He’s not being disrespectful. He’s just trying to lighten the mood, and it usually works. I stifle a laugh then growl at him to get back to work.

  He lifts his hands in mock surrender and backs away a few paces. “Hey, it was just suggestion.”

  When Niki hands him a couple of frosty margaritas, he wiggles his eyebrows at me before heading off to his table.

  Niki . . . Shit. She wasn’t supposed to be working tonight.

  She lifts the lever on the tap, topping off a glass of beer for the customer waiting in front of her. As she pockets the tip he hands her, her head comes up and she looks me in the eye. I just nod. It’s not her fault that I’m such a dick. After she smiles back and shrugs, she takes a sweep of the bar to make sure there are not waiting customers then walks over to me.

  “I thought you were off tonight,” I say.

  “Pete’s girlfriend blew a tire on the freeway, so he needed to go take care of her. He asked to switch shifts.” She eyes me a little speculatively. “Let’s not let things get awkward, okay?”

  I can’t help but smile, grateful that she is so easy going.

  “Yeah. Thanks, Niki.”

  She smiles then stands on her toes, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. As she sashays back to the register on the far side of the bar, she gives her butt a little extra wiggle, throws me a wink, and laughs. After grinning at her antics, I turn back to survey the room—and notice her.

  J is standing across the bar, staring at me.

  Shit.

  I don’t want her to cry again, so I open my mouth to confess that nothing happened with Niki but stop short. There are no tears in her eyes. Instead, they are burning with rage.

  Double shit.

  “Cupcake—”

  She doesn’t let me get in another word. No, she just whirls away and stalks off. I sigh. This is going to be a long night.

  The bar closes down at two o’clock, which means Cupcake is off shift. I blow out a breath in relief. If I had to continue to watch her walking around in that scrap of fabric she calls a skirt, smiling at everybody but me, I was going to go batshit crazy. Not to mention the all-American frat boy she’d been flirting with earlier had stayed for a good two hours, watching her, and getting the occasional “chat” in with her. Something was off with that guy.

  Jealous?

  I scoff at the ridiculous notion.

  “Hey, J,” I call out to her and crook my finger at her when her eyes meet mine. Even from across the room, I can see the mutinous glare.

  She stands there for a moment, clearly trying to decide whether or not to do what I ask. Finally, she stomps over. “You summoned me?”

  Such a smartass.

  “Your shift is done. Go on up and get some sleep.”

  Her eyes widen at my words. “Go on up? What? Am I eight years old?” Her voice is rising, drawing the attention of the one or two stragglers still hanging out at the bar.

  I grab her shoulders, steering her toward the door and she glares at me over her shoulder. I raise a silent eyebrow, staring her down until she finally huffs out a breath and marches to the back.

  Once all of the employees have left, I lock up and retreat to my office to shut everything off and bolt the door. After taking the stairs two at a time, I’m almost in my room when her door swings open and bounces off the wall. I stop let out a deep sigh before turning around to face the fuming hellcat.

  “What’s the problem, kitten?” I cross my arms over my chest and lean against my doorjamb.

  “I am not a child, Derek.” She marches across the hall and gets in my face. “And I’m getting sick and tired of you ordering me around like you’re my father!” she yells.

  She’s so fucking beautiful when she’s like this. Her eyes have fire in them, and her chest is heaving with her rapid breathing. Her words piss me off though, so I slowly stand up and walk forward, forcing her to back up with each step.

  “Let me make some things very clear to you, Cupcake.” My voice is low and calm. “First, it’s my job to keep you safe. That’s what gives me the right to order you around.”

  We’ve backed up into her room now, and I deliberately continue moving until she is pressed up against the desk.

  “Second, I am not your father, brother, uncle, or even friend. Third, I am very well aware that you are a woman.” I lower my head so that my eyes are even with hers. “And fourth, the only time you’re allowed to call me Derek is if you’re screaming it while I’m buried deep inside you.”

  Her eyes are wide as they keep straying to my mouth, which is just centimeters from hers.

  Fuck it.

  I grab her behind the neck with one hand and splay the other wide on her lower back to pull her to me. When my mouth crashes down on hers, I’m lost to everything but the feel of her body up against mine. She’s motionless for a moment, but once I fist my hand in her hair and give a little tug, she lets go and throws herself into the kiss. I nibble on one corner of her mouth before licking the seam of her lips. And when she opens her mouth, I sweep my tongue in to tangle with hers. I love how she tastes like sugar.

  I continue kissing down her neck, little bites here and there, then soothing the spot with my tongue. She tilts her head to the side, giving me better access and lets out a little moan when I reach the spot just below her ear. Tugging slightly harder on her hair, she lets out soft whimper when I expose even more of her neck, kissing and sucking my way down.

  “I fucking love that sound,” I whisper in her ear. Then I bring my lips back to hers, and when sh
e moans, I swallow it with my mouth.

  Her hands roam along my shoulders, run down my chest, and tunnel under my shirt. Once I feel her hands on my bare skin, I need to feel more. So I pull back minutely and almost groan with satisfaction at the lust glazing over her eyes. Reaching down, I grab the hem of her shirt and whip it over her head then repeat the process with my own T-shirt. When I look down and growl, her perfect breasts are practically spilling out of her lacy, pink bra. Bringing her body to me once again, I groan at the contact of our heated skin.

  “Damn, you feel good.”

  I lift her onto the edge of the desk, stepping between her legs. She automatically encircles my waist, bringing my cock flush against her pussy, feeling the heat even through the layers of clothing. Her hands start roaming again, and as I ravage her mouth, they slip down my back into the waistband of my jeans. I growl and press into her when she squeezes my ass. Her quick intake of breath sends a spark sizzling across my skin.

  “Are you wet for me, baby?” I ask, rocking into her once again.

  “Yes,” she whimpers.

  Just like that, I fucking lose it. Leaning her back a little farther on the desk, I undo the clasp on her bra, and her beautiful plump breasts fill my hands. When her back arches, I can’t help whispering in her ear, “Do you want my mouth on these perfect tits?”

  She moans louder and manages a small nod.

  Curious, I ask, “How about on that sweet pussy, baby? Do you want my mouth there?”

  She nods again and her legs squeeze me tighter, taking her pleasure in our contact. Fuck, the dirtier I talk, the wilder she gets. I bring one of her rosy nipples up to my mouth and run my tongue around it before sucking it in. Her hands come up to my shoulders, and when I suck a little harder, her nails dig into my skin. I let her nipple go with a pop and turn to give her other breast equal attention. Eventually, I make my way up to her mouth again and pull on her bottom lip with my teeth before plunging my tongue back in.

  With one hand still full of her flawless tit, the other slowly drifts down, circling her belly button, flicking the little jewel hanging there. Then I tug lightly on the knots holding her skirt together. With a squeeze and a pinch to her nipple, she begins to thrust her hips into me rhythmically, increasing the pressure each time. Somehow, despite being solid as granite, I get even fucking harder. Then I pull back just a little, letting my fingers slip into her panties, and run my forefinger up her slit.

  “Fuck, baby. You’re soaked.”

  There’s that whimper again, and I can’t help but plunge my finger inside her. I move it slowly in and out, hooking it on the way out to hit that sweet spot, and she tears her mouth from mine, throwing her head back.

  “Yes! Derek, yes!” Her voice is filled with passion and I know she’s forgotten all about our argument.

  Her words break every last fucking shred of my control. I remove my fingers, step back, and shove her skirt up around her waist. Grabbing the elastic of her panties, I rip them off and toss them on the desk.

  “You’re going to come on my tongue, baby. Hard.”

  She looks at me with glassy eyes, lust radiating off her. “Lick me, Derek.” Her face flushes, embarrassment and pride warring in her expression.

  Damn, she must be new to dirty talk.

  “Trust me, Cupcake. I’m going to devour this pussy.”

  I unwrap her legs from my waist, kneel down, and throw one over each shoulder. Her glistening pussy is pink and swollen, begging for attention. Leaning forward, I slowly lick from bottom to top, swirling around her clit before licking back down, and then repeat the process. Her body is trembling, the lips of her pussy becoming even wetter.

  “Lean back on your elbows, baby,” I tell her.

  When she does what I’ve asked, I dive back in. Her hips lift slightly to meet my mouth, and this time, when I come to the top, I suck the swollen bud into my mouth.

  She lets out a startled shriek. “Holy fuck!”

  My mouth continues to work her, sliding up the seam, circling her bud, then gliding back down before I plunge it inside her. She’s shaking now.

  “Baby, lie all the way back now and play with those beautiful tits for me.”

  She gives me a wide stare, looking a little unsure, but I keep eye contact with her, my tongue licking up once again. Her eyes roll back and she lets herself rest on the desk before moving her hands to her breasts, and begins pinching and rolling the nipples. She begins shaking even more now, it won’t take much to send her over the edge. After one more plunge of my tongue inside her, I lick up to her clit and suck it hard while pushing a finger inside—that’s it. Cupcake goes off like a rocket, screaming my name at the top of her lungs.

  I continue working her until the last of her shudders subside. Then I remove her legs from my shoulders, stand, and pull her to me. While stroking her back, I murmuring soothing words until her erratic breathing starts to calm.

  She looks up at me in wonder. “Derek, I didn’t know . . . I haven’t . . . I mean, no one’s ever . . .”

  Her face is flushed, but I see the telltale glow of a blush on her delicate cheekbones. I’m confused at first, but when it hits me, my eyebrows fly up to my hairline.

  “Baby, has anyone ever given you an orgasm?”

  She dips her head and shakes it from side to side, her cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red.

  “Damn, I’m glad I got to be the first one. You’re fucking gorgeous when you come.”

  She smiles at me, her eyes gazing up through long, thick lashes as her hand slips to the snap of my jeans. From the completely farthest, utterly in-another-galaxy part of my brain, I grab the tiniest thread of control and seize her hand. Then I lift it to my mouth and softly kiss each knuckle. Her eyes fill with confusion, so I lean down to place a quick kiss on her mouth.

  I pull her down off the desk and sweep her into my arms before turning to head for the bed. I realize now that the furniture I’d ordered her arrived. I shake my head, gathering that she accepted the shipment on her own, but I’m too damn tired to take issue with it at the moment. Especially knowing what I have to do next.

  A queen-size, dark-cherry-wood sleigh bed sits up against the wall opposite the door. Next to it is a matching five-drawer dresser. The bed is now made up with the silky sheets and down comforter I’d ordered with the furniture. After lowering her gently to the bed, I untangle her arms from around my neck. When she looks up at me in confusion, I choose not to say anything, I place a chaste kiss on her forehead and walk to the dresser, looking through the drawers until I find a yellow, silky nightgown. I walk back over to her, sit down and attempt to raise her arms, but she stubbornly keeps them down.

  “What are you doing?” Her voice is strained, her eyes starting to darken with frustration.

  “Put this on, baby. You need to get some sleep.”

  She frowns at me, trying to figure things out. “What’s going on, Derek?”

  I sigh lightly as I once again try to put the nightgown on her, but she rips it out of my hands, quickly donning it herself. I reach out and brush a finger down her cheek.

  “You shouldn’t call me that.”

  Her eyes darken even more, hurt filling them. “I don’t understand what the hell just happened. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were using me to get off, but you’re still . . .” She gestures to my dick, which is straining against my jeans.

  “That was for you, Cupcake.”

  At the nickname, her eyes change from hurt, slowly growing with anger.

  “Now, you know I see you as anything but a child. But it shouldn’t have happened.” I stand from the bed and walk across the room. At the door, I turn back and surprise myself when I say, “Don’t settle, baby. You should have a man who makes your toes curl, who worships every inch of your body.” My stomach sours and I get a bitter taste in my mouth at the thought of another man touching what’s mine.

  Except she’s not yours. Because you’re pushing her away, dumbass.


  She is trying to keep up the façade of anger, but I can see she’s upset beneath it. Before I shut the door, I take one last glance back and see her face crumble as wounded tears cascade down her cheeks. I despe.rately want to go back in and hold her, comfort her, but I’m no good for her. I should have reminded myself that she is my job. I need to focus on that now, so I shut the door and make my way to the bathroom, where I step below a glacial spray and try to forget the blue-eyed beauty in the next room.

  Later that night, she wakes me with her screaming again. I slip into bed beside her and hold her until she calms down and relaxes back into a deep sleep. I keep her in my arms, looking at her achingly beautiful face, trying to keep the guilt away, until the sun begins to break over the sky. I lay a soft kiss on her forehead before I drag myself out of her bed and go back to my cold, empty sheets.

  This morning, when I come down to breakfast, she is once again sitting at the piano, this time playing a soft, somewhat melancholy tune. After listening for a moment, I realize she was playing “Say Something” by A Great Big World.

  When she leans over the keys, her eyes shut as she becomes one with the music, I feel an ache and rub the spot over my chest, trying to dispel the pain. When she finishes the song, she hangs her head and a couple of tears slide down and hit the keys. She looks lost. I have no idea how to find myself, much less her. So I walk back to my office, leaving her alone.

  Later that afternoon, she knocks on my door. I call out for her to come in, and when she steps inside, she asks if I want some lunch. I glance up, expecting to see some residual hurt in her eyes, but there is . . . nothing.

  To make matters worse, the frat boy shows up again at the bar. I gave her the night off, but without anywhere to go or anything to do, she ends up out in the bar anyway. When I go out to check up on things, she is sitting with him in a booth, laughing. He even dresses like a fucking Ken Doll all the way to down to prissy loafers. Fucking loafers.

  My jaw clenches and I call her over. Then she says something to him before walking to me.