The Quality of Love

by Rosie Harris

  ‘That’s the sort of rubbish he’s been filling your head with, is it?’ her father said scornfully. ‘A troublemaker, that’s what he is. He’s one of those who incite working men to rebel against their lot when they should be thinking themselves lucky to have jobs to go to, not kicking against their fate all the time.’

  ‘Gwyn is not a troublemaker; he’s studied and analysed these things in great detail. He’s going to be a journalist, remember.’

  ‘Journalist! A rabble-raiser, more likely. No decent newspaper would employ him, not with his radical opinions. He’ll use what little talent he has to encourage the miners to go on strike. He’ll tell them they are getting a rotten deal from their bosses when in fact they should think themselves lucky to have work, food in their bellies, and a roof over their head.’

  ‘How can you say that, Dad? Gwyn has told me all about what it is like down the pits. The men work in darkness except for the lights on the front of their helmets, the air they breathe is foul, and all the time they are below ground they’re dreading there might be an explosion.’

  ‘He’ll cause discontent that will put the whole country in jeopardy,’ Lloyd went on as if Sarah had never spoken. ‘I know his type; I can spot them a mile off. They are theorists, the lot of them, out to stir up trouble. It’s happened before and it will happen again and it ends up with the miners out on strike.’

  ‘I don’t understand why you have taken such a dislike to him,’ Sarah said in bewilderment. ‘He’s clean and well dressed; he’s polite and well mannered . . .’

  ‘Smarmy and smooth-tongued,’ her father interrupted. ‘I can see he’s turned your head. Bringing flowers for your mother, that’s the action of a smart-alec, all right,’ Lloyd added caustically.

  ‘I thought it was very nice of him.’ Lorna smiled. ‘It’s been a long time since anyone brought me flowers. I must say I thought he was a very pleasant young chap; I was quite impressed by him.’

  ‘A touch of flattery and all women are taken in as to what the real man is like,’ Lloyd said derisively.

  ‘He wasn’t trying to flatter you, Mam; it was his way of saying thank you for being invited to tea,’ Sarah defended Gwyn. ‘It proves how well mannered he is.’

  ‘Well, that’s enough about Gwyn Roberts,’ her father told her abruptly. ‘He won’t be invited here again so you can put him out of your mind. I don’t want to hear his name mentioned again and I don’t want to hear you’ve been wasting your time talking to him. You are to stop seeing him. Is that understood, Sarah?’

  ‘How can I stop seeing him when we attend the same university?’ she muttered rebelliously.

  ‘You don’t attend the same lectures, now do you?’ he barked as he picked up the newspaper and settled back in his armchair.

  ‘In fact,’ he went on, putting the paper to one side, ‘exactly how is it that you know him so well? Have you been shirking classes in order to talk to him?’

  ‘Of course I haven’t!’ Although she said it emphatically the rush of colour to her cheeks immediately roused her father’s curiosity.

  ‘So how do you know him well enough to consider him a friend worthy of being brought home to meet us?’

  ‘He was assigned to show me and three other newcomers around on our first day,’ she said lamely.

  ‘And have all the others taken him home to meet their families?’

  She knew he was being sarcastic but she was determined to stand her ground. ‘I very much doubt it because none of them live in Cardiff like I do so they don’t have the chance to do so.’

  He regarded her speculatively, his eyes hardening. ‘Listen to me; watch your step with this Gwyn Roberts. I don’t trust him. And he isn’t just a casual acquaintance; he’s more than that, isn’t he? Would he be the reason why you’ve had to stay late for so many evening lectures lately?’

  Sarah looked pleadingly at her mother, hoping she would say something to distract her father’s interrogation, but Lorna was also looking at her questioningly.

  ‘Finish with him,’ her father said firmly. ‘I’ve already said I don’t want you having anything more to do with him, and I mean it. I don’t want to hear his name mentioned ever again. That’s final. Nor do I want to hear that you are attending evening lectures, not unless you can prove to me in writing that you have to do so. The next time you don’t come home at the normal time I’ll make it my business to go over to the university and find out why.’

  ‘If you ever come to the university checking up on me like that, then I’ll be so ashamed that I’ll never be able to go back there again,’ Sarah told him, tears glistening in her eyes.

  ‘Then don’t give me cause to do so.’

  She was about to argue with him, astounded that her father was being so completely unfair, not only in his condemnation of Gwyn but also in treating her as if she was a twelve-year-old, but her mother signalled her not to say any more.

  In silence the two of them cleared the tea things from the table and went into the kitchen to wash up. As she filled a bowl with hot water Sarah’s thoughts were in turmoil. She felt angry and so bewildered that her father had been even more dictatorial than usual.

  ‘You liked Gwyn, didn’t you, Mam?’ she asked.

  Lorna pushed the kitchen door tightly shut before she answered. ‘Yes, I liked him, I thought he was very charming,’ she agreed as she began wiping the cups Sarah had washed.

  ‘So you don’t want me to stop seeing him?’

  ‘Well,’ Lorna hesitated, concentrating on polishing a plate and avoiding Sarah’s sideways look, ‘he is a very presentable young man but I think your father thinks that you are probably too young to be thinking seriously about boys, you know.’

  ‘He’s a friend, that’s all,’ Sarah muttered belligerently. ‘There’s no need for Dad to make such a fuss the way he’s done.’

  ‘I think your dad is afraid that this boy is going to take your mind off your studies, cariad. You know how important it is to him that you qualify and get yourself a really good job.’

  ‘Gwyn’s just as ambitious. He’s not going to distract me any more than I will sidetrack him. He helps me in many ways because I can talk about my projects with someone who understands them and he can help answer my queries.’

  ‘I thought that’s what your tutor is for, not another student.’ Lorna frowned. ‘Anyway, you said that Gwyn was aiming to be a journalist, so surely he won’t be studying the same courses as you are?’

  Sarah threw the dishcloth down into the water, splattering soapsuds everywhere. ‘You’re as bad as Dad,’ she fumed. ‘You think you know best, and you seem to want to keep me caged up. Why on earth don’t you want me to have any friends of my own?’

  ‘Sarah, listen to me. That’s not what I meant . . .’

  Her mother’s words followed her as she flounced out of the kitchen and rushed upstairs to her bedroom. She heard her father calling after her, demanding to know what was going on, but she took no notice. Once in her room she flung herself down on the bed and let her tears flow. Why couldn’t they try and understand that she was no longer a child, and that she was growing up?

  Gwyn Roberts was inwardly fuming as he walked away from the Lewises’ house. He knew Sarah had warned him that her father was a difficult man and that he was exceptionally strict, but what he hadn’t been prepared for was Lloyd Lewis’s frosty rudeness and he regarded that as being not only uncalled for but uncivil. No one treated him so audaciously and got away with it, he decided angrily.

  He was puzzled about the reception he’d received because Lloyd Lewis didn’t appear to be an ignorant man. In fact, from the way he spoke he was quite well informed, so why had he taken such a violent dislike to him? he wondered.

  He’d done his homework well in preparation for meeting him. He’d been taught that to be a good newspaper man you not only had to be tenacious, but you also had to do your research thoroughly and to contemplate the situation logically.

  He’d tackled the forthcoming
encounter in the same way as he would have done an assignment. He’d spent considerable time checking out Lloyd Lewis’s background and finding out what sort of job he was doing, how long he had served in the army and even where he’d been born. He was intrigued to find that Lloyd Lewis was also from the Valleys and that he’d been born not far from Aberdare and that, like him, he came from mining stock. That was why he’d expected him to be supportive when he talked about the miners and their problems instead of which he had taken an opposing viewpoint. Even so, he would have been interested in a discussion about the problems posed by the threatened miners’ strike and whether or not he thought that Prime Minister Lloyd George could take steps to alleviate it.

  Mrs Lewis had been pleasant enough and obviously had gone out of her way to make him welcome.

  Gwyn kicked out idly at a bottle lying on the pavement, sending it spinning into the gutter. If he didn’t care so much about Sarah he’d have nothing more to do with her or her family, but she’d really got under his skin.

  She was different from any other girl he’d gone out with and there’d been quite a few since he’d been at university. She was passionate, and yet, unlike the others, she’d held out against his advances. The fact that she consistently refused to go all the way not only made her even more desirable but also made him determined to make her his.

  A smile twisted Gwyn’s firm mouth as he contemplated the situation. That would be one way of getting even with Lloyd Lewis, he thought cynically. He could imagine the look of horror there would be on his face when he found out that he’d had his way with his precious daughter.

  His smile faded; that wouldn’t be fair on Sarah and it certainly wasn’t the way he wanted things between them to go. He’d never felt like this about anyone before and, cynical though he was about such things, he was pretty sure he was in love with her. He knew she cared for him, it showed in her eyes and how she hung on to his every word. He could also sense it in the way she responded to his touch.

  Her father was so bigoted that it was probably useless talking to him about this; even a waste of time telling him how much he liked his daughter. That didn’t mean that he was prepared to let Lloyd Lewis dismiss him as a nonentity or to simply ignore him. He was determined to retaliate in some way and in doing so prove that he was superior to him. Lloyd was the sort of man whose convictions had to be decried and made to realise that his opinions were outdated.

  Once her father accepted that Gwyn was a permanent part of Sarah’s life then he’d have to accept him and his views. That would be his target from now on, Gwyn decided. He was quite certain that Sarah would be told to have nothing more to do with him, so reassuring her about his feelings for her would be his first concern.

  He was confident, though, that Sarah cared for him so much that she wouldn’t be able to stay away from him for very long even if her father told her she must, he thought complacently, and, furthermore, he’d do everything possible to make sure she didn’t.

  Lorna Lewis finished the washing-up and stacked all the best tea-service away carefully. She’d looked forward to entertaining Sarah’s friend but it saddened her that because of Lewis’s attitude everything had ended on such a sour note.

  There were times when she found it difficult to understand her husband. Surely he didn’t expect Sarah to study every minute of the day; she needed to have friends and to go out and enjoy herself occasionally. She didn’t even see Rita these days so it was natural that she’d start up a friendship with someone she’d met at university, someone who shared similar interests.

  This Gwyn seemed such a nice chap. He was good-looking and polite as well as intelligent. He certainly seemed to be very knowledgeable. She would have thought that would have impressed Lloyd, but he’d seemed to have taken a dislike to him the minute he’d walked into the house.

  For a fleeting moment she wondered whether the flowers had anything to do with it; surely Lewis couldn’t have been jealous. She almost laughed out loud at the thought; quite sure it couldn’t have been that. In fact, the only reason she could see for his outspoken hostility was that he resented or objected to Gwyn’s friendship with Sarah. Either he didn’t want to recognise the fact that she was growing up and would soon be living a life of her own or else he simply couldn’t accept it.

  She knew Sarah was very upset so once she’d checked that Lloyd was still engrossed in his newspaper she went upstairs and tapped softly on Sarah’s bedroom door.

  As she’d expected, Sarah was lying on her bed, her face buried in the pillow, and when she looked up her cheeks were tear stained. Without a word, Lorna sat down on the side of the bed and gathered her daughter in her arms, rocking her backwards and forwards almost as if she was still a small child.

  There was no need for words; Lorna sensed that all Sarah wanted was for her to put her arms around her and hold her close; to be comforted and know that her mother understood.

  Chapter Six

  Sarah found she was no longer enjoying university; she was so smitten with Gwyn that she couldn’t concentrate and as a result was getting more and more behind with her work.

  She knew Gwyn wasn’t altogether happy either although he was doing far more work than she was because it was his final year and he was anxious to achieve a good degree. He was very frustrated, though, because they could spend so little time together.

  Much as she wanted to see Gwyn she knew that if her father found out that she was flaunting his ruling then it would only result in trouble at home. That would distress her mother and make her unhappy, so it made Sarah reluctant to defy him.

  The excuse that she was staying late into the evening because she was attending special lectures was no longer valid now that her father had discovered the truth. This meant that the only times she and Gwyn could be together now was in odd moments they managed to snatch between lectures during the day.

  In recent weeks, since their timetables varied so much and he was not prepared to miss out on any of his tutorials when he was so near his finals, it had meant that she was the one who had to make sacrifices and play truant.

  Occasionally she was able to make up the lectures she missed by borrowing someone else’s notes but she soon found that doing so was nowhere near as beneficial as actually sitting in on the lecture would have been.

  The other thing that troubled her was not only the long summer break that lay ahead but also the fact that Gwyn would be ending his time at university. He would then have to start looking for a job so she would probably see even less of him. This might even mean that she and Gwyn wouldn’t see anything at all of each other in the future and she couldn’t imagine what life would be like without him.

  She also knew her father would expect her to spend most days studying as she’d done between leaving school and starting at university.

  She even began to think that perhaps her father was going to get his own way after all and that she and Gwyn would have to stop seeing each other. This might be better than the constant heartache and frustration she was subjected to when they arranged to meet and then one of them found it impossible to do so and had to cancel, she reflected.

  When she mentioned this to Gwyn, however, he was so upset that she immediately admitted that it would be impossible and agreed with him wholeheartedly that they couldn’t live without each other.

  ‘There is only one thing we can do,’ Gwyn told her, taking her in his arms and holding her close. ‘We must elope.’

  ‘Elope!’ She pulled away and stared at him wide-eyed. ‘You’re not serious, surely?’

  ‘I’ve never been more serious in my life,’ he told her gravely. ‘It’s useless asking your parents if we can be married because your father wants nothing at all to do with me, so he’s hardly likely to consider me to be a suitable husband for you.’

  ‘Once he realises how much I love you . . .’

  ‘No, cariad, I’m afraid it wouldn’t work. I’m surprised you’d even suggest it,’ Gwyn told her firmly.

&nbs
p; ‘How can we elope, though,’ Sarah frowned, ‘I’m still too young to be married without my father’s consent and as you’ve just said, that would be out of the question.’

  ‘Shush!’ He pulled her back into his arms and stroked her hair gently. ‘Leave it all to me, I’ll find a way. Just be patient and don’t mention what I’ve said to anyone. I’ll devise a plan for us to be together.’

  Sarah found that being patient wasn’t easy, but she was determined to try and devote herself to her studies even though a hundred and one questions about what his intentions were remained unanswered.

  It was the very end of term before she had a chance to talk to him and by then she’d almost given up in despair. She was afraid that he might disappear and she would never see him again.

  She was packing up her books and papers in readiness to take them home knowing she would be expected to study during the holidays, when he suddenly appeared in the lecture room. He was smiling and brimming with confidence as he quickly outlined his plan, speaking softly so that no one else could overhear what he was saying.

  ‘Tell your parents that you have been invited to spend a few days at the home of one of your classmates,’ he told her. ‘Make it soon so that we don’t have to wait too long to see each other again, perhaps the beginning of August. You can tell them that your friend has invited you to spend the August bank holiday with her—’

  ‘Dad would never agree to me doing that,’ she interrupted quickly. ‘Anyway, he’ll be off work on Bank Holiday Monday and he’ll expect me to go out with them, it’s a sort of family tradition,’ she ended lamely.

  ‘Well,’ Gwyn frowned, ‘make it later that week, then, perhaps a few days in the middle of the week or the following weekend. It doesn’t really matter which as long as I know the exact dates. Do you understand?’

  ‘I think so, but what are you planning we should do?’ she asked shyly.

  ‘What do you think I want to do?’ He grinned.