Back to Life Series Box Set

by Danielle Allen

  Vanessa? His ex, Vanessa?

  Something I couldn’t hear was said and CJ’s short, dry laugh rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t as open and carefree as it had been with me, but it was familiar. It was his Vanessa laugh.

  I hated his Vanessa laugh.

  “Sixty seconds,” Vanessa sang.

  His voice dipped low, bordering on a whisper as the murmurs grew to more distinct. “I should go. But uh—thanks for clearing things up for me. I wanted the truth and I got it.”

  My eyebrows furrowed and I had to rub my hand across them to massage the crease away. I didn’t have to ask the question, I knew that the shift in his voice and the edge in his tone had to do with what I’d said. I closed my eyes as I tried to figure out how not to make it sound so harsh without making it sound like I was in love.

  I felt the violent twist in my stomach that signified that I was damned if I said we were nothing and couldn’t be friends, and damned if I said my heart skipped a beat at the thought of him. One sounded harsh, cold and crazy. The other sounded delusional, love struck, and crazy.

  I need a do over.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” I breathed, heart clenching. “Cedi, I—”

  CJ took a rough breath as if someone had vacuumed the air from his lungs. “Don’t do that,” he cautioned in a painfully soft voice. “Don’t say my name like that.”

  I froze at my desk as if he’d yelled at me.

  My heart thudded in my chest as I heard so much emotion bottled up in the softness of his words.

  I swallowed hard. “I—”

  “Hey Em!” Addison greeted me as her chipper voice burst through the airwaves.

  My chest constricted. I tried to push the wave of sadness back so she didn’t hear it wash over me. “Hey!”

  My cheerfulness was forced and had I known her for longer, she might have noticed. But she didn’t.

  “Sorry, I had to blindside you guys to talk, but I didn’t want him to go to Ghana without you two talking. I promise never to muddle in your relationship again. I’m back to business with a clear separation of church and state.”

  I bit my lip to keep from crying. “No, I’m glad I had a chance to say goodbye. So thank you. It needed to be done.”

  “What? Say that again, please.”

  I could hear Addison grinning. “I said thank you,” I repeated, the corners of my lips turned up into a small, sad smile.

  “Oh! I have to go. They’re bringing out the cake to sing happy birthday.”

  “Okay, no problem. Whose birthday?”

  “Addo’s!” She paused. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted you two to talk,” she said slowly.

  I let my head drop back and I stared at the ceiling with blurry eyes. “Today’s CJ’s birthday?”

  “Yeah, he’s thirty-six today—Happy Birthday to you,” she started singing. “I’ll call you later.”

  I wiped the tears on my cheek with the back of my hand as we said our quick goodbyes.

  Chapter 11

  Sunday, April 30th – 2:54am

  The townhouse was completely silent and pitch-black. It was my first night fully moved into my new place and I wanted to get to know the sounds, so I didn’t have the television on or music playing. I just relaxed on my new king sized bed and satin sheets. But, for whatever reason, I couldn’t fall asleep.

  I’d spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning in Panama City Beach for a dance competition. My girls took home several trophies and I felt so proud of them and how they competed. More than that, I felt proud of myself and what I’d accomplished. Last year was the first year I was even eligible to have my girls compete, so to come back for the second year and have my girls place was amazing. But my advanced-contemporary senior aged girls qualified for the regional competition.

  Work had become the most important thing in my life. I made it my number one priority because if I worked at the studio from the time I got up until the time I closed down the studio, I wouldn’t have to really spend too much time thinking about anything else.

  But lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind relaxed and decided that it wanted to wander.

  I don’t understand how someone can say they love you, lie to you, manipulate you, drug you, cheat on you, and then not even bother to sincerely apologize.

  I didn’t want Anthony back—far from it.

  I wanted an apology, but I didn’t need it to get over him. I wanted an apology, but I didn’t need it to function. I just wanted an apology to ensure that the last four years of my life weren’t a complete farce. We had some really good times and it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that Anthony was not only being mean and spiteful, he had moved another woman into our home.

  And not even one of the bitches he cheated on me with—he is already with someone new!

  There were things in the house that I was unable to get because he’d changed the locks and refused to answer my calls. When we spoke, it was by way of our lawyers. And the only time he contacted me was when he was drunk and flipping between taunting me about how he’d already moved on and begging me to reminisce on old times.

  The first few times he’d called, I enjoyed the memories. I missed Anthony. I missed the friendship our relationship birthed. But I didn’t miss the man he’d turned out to be. Every time we’d talked, it was apparent that he only wanted to reconcile with the version of me that had amnesia in regards to his lies and betrayal. That version of me didn’t exist. Just like the man I married didn’t truly exist.

  I took a deep breath and looked at the clock.

  “I need to sleep,” I whispered into the cold, cavernous room.

  Maybe it’s too dark in here. There is no light seeping in the windows. Are the clouds blocking the moon? Are the curtains black-out curtains? It’s so dark.

  I closed my eyes and visions of the darkest pair of brown eyes I’d ever seen appeared. My stomach quivered and I placed my hand over it.

  I hope CJ’s doing well.

  I said a prayer for CJ as I did every night. I hadn’t talked to him since his birthday. I was so mixed up about the conversation that I didn’t even think to follow up and tell him happy birthday. I groaned as I pulled the sheet and comforter up and turned onto my side.

  I sighed.

  I was annoyed that I couldn’t sleep, but even more annoyed that I couldn’t stop thinking about men.

  There was one man I was done with and there was another man I was unable to even begin with and I was running from both of them.

  I inhaled and exhaled, taking long, deep breath.

  Anthony is a womanizer.

  He probably always was and would always be. Maybe he thought marrying me would change him. Maybe he tried to change. Maybe he didn’t. Either way, he was a shitty husband and I deserved better.

  Which brings me to CJ…

  He had the most incredible energy and the most intense effect on me. He was the epitome of the man I should end up with one day.

  And it means something if I can’t stop thinking about him after a thirty-six-hour rendezvous, right?

  My heart palpitated.

  Right?

  Chapter 12

  Thursday, May 25th – 7:16pm

  “That was fantastic!” I screamed. I jumped to my feet and clapped enthusiastically in the audience of the Panama Beach Amphitheater.

  My girls had just killed their preliminary routine and were clearly the best in my completely biased opinion. The scores were high enough for them to move on to compete on the mainstage on Saturday. I turned to Rodney, the very first dance teacher I’d hired when I first opened Studio E, and grabbed his hand.

  “We did it!” He pulled me into a hug.

  “We did it!” I yelled back, shuffling my feet in a little dance of excitement.

  Rodney and I worked so hard to choreograph the new routine and the teenagers picked it up in no time. It helped that after our first trip to Panama Beach, we had extra time during their spr
ing break session.

  An hour later, Rodney and I met Coral, another one of the dance instructors at Studio E, at the hotel restaurant with ten beaming girls, aged fifteen through eighteen. We ate dinner and celebrated moving to the big stage on Saturday. By ten o’clock, all of the girls were in their rooms and Coral and Rodney were sitting in mine.

  With a heart shaped face surrounded by a platinum blonde pixie cut, Coral was the youngest employee I had at twenty-three. She’d been working summers for me, until she started teaching beginner’s contemporary classes. The tall, svelte dancer was poised and matured beyond her years, but the crush she had on Rodney always managed to turn her into a giggling school girl.

  Rodney was slim, but muscular with a fresh haircut and devious smile. He was good looking and he knew it. He wasn’t cocky, but was very self-aware. It’s that awareness of himself and his body that made him such a skilled dancer. He used to choreograph routines for music videos and artists, but after losing a big legal dispute when someone stole his choreography, he moved back to his hometown and I was able to scoop him up right as I was looking to open.

  We’d been discussing what winning a huge competition could do for our futures, not just with Studio E, when I received two simultaneous text messages I wasn’t expecting.

  Anthony Diaz: I’ll sign the divorce papers if you sign an agreement that you forfeit your stake in the house and any of my retirement accounts.

  I frowned as I stared at the text message. It wasn’t about the money and it had never been about the money. In the three years we were married, we’d never discussed divorce—or even what we would do if we didn’t work out. My father approached us about a prenuptial agreement to keep the family home in the family since I was inheriting the house. Within that agreement, Mr. McMannus also safeguarded Studio E and my inheritance, from which I used a decent sized lump sum that I’d dug into to open Studio E. Since Anthony was so consumed with his dollar amount, he didn’t read the agreement and I never told him about the money my father invested.

  I walked onto the balcony and closed the door behind me. Sitting in one of the patio chairs, I started typing and deleting and then typing again and then deleting again. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say, but I was irritated and mad. We hadn’t talked in a while and all of a sudden, he, and not his lawyer, sent me a random text message about money.

  Figures.

  I shook my head and decided not to respond at all.

  On to the next one.

  I made a face and rolled my eyes when I saw who it was from.

  Like brother, like sister.

  Isabella Diaz and I had been close. From the moment we met, we’d developed an instant bond. She was so much fun and carefree—the exact opposite of her brother. We had a weekly date where we would do something to pamper ourselves—spa treatment, manicure/pedicure appointment, shopping spree—and we’d talk about almost everything.

  The day I returned from Atlanta and moved into my parents’ house, I texted her to tell her I was filing for divorce. She texted me back and asked why. After I told her, she assured me that we’d always remain friends.

  I hadn’t heard from her since that day.

  Isabella Diaz: Hey, how are you? I’m sorry I’ve been MIA, but he’s my brother. I have to be Team Anthony even when I want to wring his neck. But I just caught my boyfriend texting with some other woman so I just wanted to tell you that I understand what you’re going through. Since I was able to forgive Chad, I was thinking there’d be hope that you would forgive Anthony. I know it’s complicated with the baby on the way, but I can tell that it was just a fling and he misses you. I know I miss you. Love you sis!

  You love and miss me so much that after your brother lied and cheated on me, you completely abandoned me too? Yeah, thanks for that. I don’t—wait, what did I just read?

  I read the text message over and over again until I was sure I read it correctly.

  Baby on the way?

  “You have got to be kidding me.” I stared at my phone until all of the letters kind of blurred into a black mass and then the phone went dark.

  Anthony is having a baby.

  I stared out toward the ocean in disbelief. I was angry and hurt that he’d moved on so fast after imploding my life—to the same degree that I would be if I was in line for three days to buy concert tickets and they sold out when I got to the window. But I didn’t feel any of the romantic hurt or the sweeping disappointment of romantic loss that had plagued me since I caught him cheating. I couldn’t say I didn’t care, because I did and I was sure I’d care for a while. But after five months, I could honestly say that I wasn’t bothered. Anthony’s actions no longer got under my skin or affected me. I was free and he didn’t have that control over me.

  Now it makes sense… This is why he’s trying to make a deal now instead of waiting until our court date in July. Maybe he shouldn’t have lied and disputed the fact that he cheated in his counter filing for divorce.

  A small smile crept across my face.

  What judge is going to look at this and think, you know what, this is a good man who honored his wife and took his marriage seriously.

  My smile grew.

  “Hey, I’m going to head to my room,” Rodney said, peeking his head out onto the balcony. He paused for a second, giving me a look. “Why are you smiling like that?”

  “Just got some good news.” I stood, stretching. “Heading to bed?”

  “Yes. I’m meeting one of my fraternity brothers for lunch tomorrow.” He paused again. “You want to come? Might be good for you to meet someone.”

  We walked back into my hotel room. “Honestly, I’m not looking to meet anyone. I’m just interested in living my life and with this good news”—I shook my phone in the air—“things are looking up.”

  Coral was standing near the door on her cell phone. She hung up as we approached. “What’s going on? We’re not calling it a night are we? It’s not even eleven yet!” Although she was talking to both of us, she was staring at Rodney. “There’s still a lot of night left.”

  “I’m heading to bed,” he answered, easing by her and opening the door. “I’m meeting with a frat brother in the morning. I’ll see you two for the team meeting.”

  Coral pouted. “But we could have fun.”

  “Coral, you’re a beautiful girl. But I told you. We work together and you’re a little too young for me.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “I’m twenty-two! I’ll be twenty-three in a few months. I’m grown.”

  “Yes, but I’m telling you that you’re not grown enough for me. I turned thirty-one in April.” He patted her on the shoulder. “Goodnight.”

  I bit my lip to keep from smiling. “Goodnight.”

  Once he left, Coral looked at me and slumped against the door. “He’s so hot.” She rolled her shoulders back. “Whatever, I’m not too young, but that’s his loss. You want to go party with me tonight? The restaurant on the roof turns into a club at night.”

  “No, I’m going to call it a night,” I informed her, folding my arms across my chest and leaning against the wall.

  “You go and have a good time. But, don’t get too drunk because we’re taking the girls to the mall before the meeting.”

  “You should definitely come with me. You haven’t been on a date in forever. It’s time, Em. Live a little!”

  “I’m fine,” I insisted. “I’m focused on me. And winning this competition this weekend. I’m fine. Now go, enjoy yourself.”

  “Well, I’ll give you one more month and then you have to let me introduce you to someone. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. I’m telling you, it works!”

  I laughed. “Goodnight, Coral.”

  “Goodnight,” she called out in a singsong voice.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket so I closed the door and pulled it out.

  Addison Fry: Just wanted to let you know that Addo is back. He just got released from the hospital. He had a stom
ach bug but his parents wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. And it’s not. I thought you’d want to know.

  Emily Diaz: Oh no! I’m glad he’s okay, but I’m sorry to hear that he’s been in the hospital. Does he need anything?

  Addison Fry: The doctor said rest and fluids. Just wanted to let you know. I didn’t want you to worry about if he made it back safely. Now go kick ass in this competition! Text me and let me know how big your trophy is.

  Emily Diaz: Thanks! I appreciate the heads up and the well wishes. I’ll give you a call as soon as we leave on Sunday.

  I’m glad he’s doing well. I looked around the room. I should figure out where I want to go for breakfast.

  Because it was such a beautiful night, I went to the balcony and let the spring air fill my lungs. I sat down in the chair, bringing my legs up to my chest. Staring out into the water, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  Picking up my phone, I scrolled to CJ’s name and without hesitation, I pressed the call button.

  My heart thundered in my chest as soon as I heard the first ring. I focused my breathing and tried to calm myself down.

  “Hello?” A woman’s voice greeted me.

  I pulled the phone from my ear to check the number. Clearing my throat, I replied, “Hello… Is CJ available?”

  “He’s resting right now, but this is his girlfriend. May I take a message?”

  Girlfriend?

  “No,” I choked out, over the sound of my insides being ripped apart. “No, message. I was just checking to make sure he was okay. Thank you.”

  “I’ll let him know you called, Emily.”

  Chapter 13

  Saturday, June 24th – 8:49pm

  “Hey, I got your text. Are you kidding and you’re really here?” Addison asked, breathlessly. The sound of music pumped around her. “I’ve already been to your hotel room so I know you’re in town for the engagement party so you can’t even pretend that you’re not close by!”