Continuum

by Susan Wu

  An eternity passes before I hear the distant rumble of an engine and a minute later, Ethan pulls up the driveway on his motorcycle. He carefully dismounts and settles the bike down on its kickstand. He pulls off his shiny black helmet and places it on the seat. His hair is more mussed up than usual from his helmet and probably from his pillow. Even rousing him in the middle of the night, he manages to look handsome in his leather jacket over a snug black henley and low slung navy sweatpants.

  His blue eyes are clouded with worry as he walks over to me. I stand meekly to greet him and Ethan surprises me by wrapping his arms around me, folding me tightly against his warm chest. Sighing, I press my face against him, breathing deeply and filling my lungs with his scent as I circle my arms around his midsection. His arms feel strong and reassuring and right now I have no strength left to resist.

  My whole body is shivering in earnest and he pulls away, his brow furrowed with concern as his eyes take in my cardigan and pajamas, “How long have you been waiting for me? It’s freezing out here. You're shaking! Let's get you back inside.”

  He ushers me inside and walks me over to the couch. I sit down and immediately start twisting my hands together in my lap as Ethan removes his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. Pulling the throw off the back of the couch, he wraps that around me as well. He reaches over and gently takes my hands into his, “It’s almost 3:00AM, you really scared the hell out of me with your phone call. For once, please tell me what is going on, Fallon.”

  Ethan

  Fallon’s hands feel like ice in mine and she is sitting equally frozen on the couch. I can practically see the words whirring around in her brain. She doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me with her wide green eyes. The dark circles under her eyes stand out starkly against her pale skin. How long had she been awake?

  Her shoulders tremble under my leather jacket and the throw blanket wrapped around her. It takes a moment for my body to adjust to the temperature after being outside. The house is not much warmer than it is outside. “It’s freezing in here. I’m going to light a fire.”

  She nods and pulls the throw tighter around her body. I crouch down in front of the fireplace and fiddle around with the lighter pilot until a fire lights with a whoosh. I sit back down on the couch and start rubbing her shoulders with my hands, trying to calm the tremors.

  She feels so small, even wrapped up in my jacket and the blanket. Even her voice trembles as she speaks, the words jumbled as they flow out of her, “Ethan, I’m... I’m sorry about this afternoon. I don’t know why I reacted the way I did. It was de--deplorable. It’s my fault, I should never have misled you.” Her expression is weary in the dim light of the fire, her green eyes burning with sincerity as they search my face.

  I pull her against my body and I’m taken by surprise when she wraps an arm around my waist, “I should be the one apologizing, Fallon. They way we left things last week... I shouldn’t have come over. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

  “You were right about what you said this afternoon. I like you, Ethan. As more than friends, but that doesn’t mean I’m not conflicted. It’s still... complicated.” Fallon bites her bottom lip, at a loss for words.

  “It sounds quite simple to me. I like you. You like me.”

  “It should be simple, but it’s not. I’m tired of running, Ethan.” Her chest rises as she takes in a slow, shuddering breath, “Do you remember you once told me I was different from other girls? That you liked that I wasn’t like everyone else.”

  “I remember...”

  “Well that sentiment was truer than you thought.”

  “It doesn't matter to me if you're different, Fallon. It’s what makes you so special. It’s what draws me to you.”

  Fallon lifts her eyes to meet mine. Her cheeks are streaked with tears, “Ethan, I... I can’t push you away anymore. But I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

  “You can tell me anything.”

  “It’s going to seem implausible. But I swear to you I'm not insane.”

  “You're freaking me out with all the build up, just tell me already.”

  Her brow furrows as she struggles to find the right words, “My father is always away because of... family business. He expects me to go into the family business when I become of age.”

  Fallon was being so cryptic, I let out a nervous laugh, “Is he in the mafia or something? Going to break my kneecaps for kissing his little girl?”

  She grimaces and continues without pausing, “No, I think that would almost be easier to accept. My father is royalty. He is king.”

  “Oh, that’s not so...”

  She cuts me off, “My father is king of Phynx. A planet located 217 million light years away from Earth.”

  I am dumbfounded and say the first thing that pops into my head, “So, your dad is an alien?”

  “Genetically speaking, the Phynxians and humans are very similar. Thousands of years ago, a group of Phynxians abdicated and came to Earth. Their genetic make up is close enough that were able to mate with the homo australopithecus, very early ancestors of the human race. There’s a little bit of Phynxian blood in most humans, some more so than others. At least that’s how my father explained it to me.”

  “Are you saying, your father is from a different planet but he is not an alien?”

  She pauses, “I never thought of it that way, but yes. But most humans are less than a tenth of a percent Phynxian.”

  “How did they end up here?”

  “The legend goes that thousands of years ago, Phynx had three heirs to the throne. They were three brothers, Zeko, Xon, and Umon. In Phynx, birth order doesn't determine the line of succession, the successor is chosen by the previous ruler. Zeko was the eldest and strongest brother, but he only had a mind for war and was rash in his decision making. Xon was the middle brother, but he was the most clever and most level headed. Umon was the youngest, he was a lover of the arts and had no interest in politics. Xon was chosen to ascend to the throne over Zeko, which made him furious. Zeko was considered one of the greatest military leaders in the history of Phynx and had a very dedicated following. He decided to split off from his brother and start a new colony in a neighboring star system. This caused a civil war and many people died before the brothers finally signed a treaty. Umon, the youngest brother, hated all the violence so he left Phynx with a small following of his own and went in search of a planet that would be habitable. He found one 217 million light years away from home. They called it Uerth.”

  Ethan looks confused, “But that's all ancient history, right? That happened thousands of years ago. At the beginning of human civilization on Earth. Our genetics are all mixed together. What makes you different from the rest of us?”

  “My father is fully Phynxian. Those of us with less diluted bloodlines have certain... abnormalities. Humans only use a small percentage of their brain’s functions. Phynxians use a great deal more.”

  “What’s your higher brain function?”

  “Well... for one, I have perfect recall. It’s why I can recite our European History textbook cover to cover. It’s why I can solve a rubiks cube in 37 seconds. It’s why I can memorize a list of locker combinations with only a glance.”

  Letting out a snort, I reply, “A photographic memory doesn’t make you abnormal.”

  “I’m also precognitive. I have dreams about the future...” she looks down at her twisted fingers, not looking up to meet my eyes.

  Knock me over with a feather. I try not to let my shock show on my face or leak into my voice, “Please tell me more.”

  “Sometimes they’re like glimpses into the future. Other times they’re more like omens of things to come. They’re actually pretty fuzzy. It’s the only time my perfect recall fails.”

  I tuck that piece of information away for later. There are so many questions I want to ask Fallon, but I didn’t want her to shut down so I start with the easiest ones, “Is your father the same way?”

  “In some ways but ev
eryone is a bit different.”

  “How did he end up here?”

  “Phynx is crumbling, their resources are depleting at a rate that cannot be sustained. The advancements of its people has brought the planet to its knees. My father came here 19 years ago in search of a new planet for his people to live.”

  “And he wound up here? Of all the places in the entire universe?”

  “It was more like on a hope and a wish that he ended up here. Even with their technology, he had very little hope of finding a place for his people to settle. He spent most of his youth looking for a new planet. He stumbled upon Earth completely by accident. He was reading a series of ancient texts left behind by Umon--captain’s logs from his exploration of Sector 193, the area we call the Milky Way. In his logs, he describes a group of planets circling a star. More specifically, a blue planet with a single moon. It’s atmospheric measurements could sustain Phnyxian life.”

  “He guessed the coordinates from Umon’s descriptions and found Earth. He came down here on an exploratory mission, in hopes that his people would be able to flourish on this planet. He was doing research as a doctoral student in environmental science when he met my mother. She was getting her masters in art history. They were neighbors in this apartment complex in Chicago. Her cat escaped from her apartment one day and he took care of it for her until she returned. She thought he was cute so she invited him over for dinner to thank him. They quickly fell in love.”

  “So did they come to Earth? Are there more Phynx out there?”

  “Earth wasn’t a viable option because humans are depleting the resources here. Despite how he felt about my mom, he still had a duty to fulfill. So one day he left Earth and returned to his home planet. He just left... My mom found out she was pregnant with me after he was gone. She moved back to Everest Heights, after I was born, to be closer to her parents.”

  Tears are flowing freely down her face as she continues, “When my mom died, my father returned to Earth. He wanted to take me back to Phynx with him. He had never gotten over her and I was his one remaining link to her. He had never told my mom anything about what he was and where he was from. Maybe she suspected something was different about him, but she never talked very much about my father. She told me I was a great artist like he was. That I had his eyes. She always seemed so sad when we talked about him, so I stopped bringing him up. She was always so protective of me. My whole life I thought my father had died in a car accident before I was born, instead of the truth--that he had abandoned us. When he showed up after her funeral, I immediately recognized who he was. I have his eyes after all... I was furious with him. I was furious with him for cursing me with these abilities. I was furious with her for lying to me my whole life. He was absent my whole life but then he shows up wanting to uproot me from the only life I had ever known.”

  I curse quietly under my breath. “That is complete BS. I’m so sorry, Fallon. I don’t even know what to begin to say.” It’s hard to imagine dealing with so many things at once. All those different emotions snowballing into one big mass of confusion and heartbreak. And she’s been dealing with it silently, not confiding a single word to anyone.

  Her voice is full of remorse, her eyes full of ancient sorrows, “I never intended to get this close to you, Ethan. I never wanted to tell anyone about who—what I am.”

  I reach out and wipe away a tear slow trickling down her cheek. “I care about you, Fallon. You are singularly the most incredible person I have ever met. Nothing you say can change the way I feel about you.”

  “I care about you too, Ethan. But I’m scared to get close to you.”

  “Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”

  “I worry about what the future holds for us. If there can be a future for us. I can’t bear the thought of hurting you. Bad things happen to the people I love, Ethan. My first dream of the future happened when I was 11. I had the same recurring nightmare for seven days. I woke up every morning sobbing, with a screaming pain in my chest. That feeling of utter terror is still fresh to this day but I can’t remember a single part of that dream. My mom was worried about me so she called my Grandpa Carl. He had a heart attack at the airport on his way to come visit me on the eighth day. I didn’t dream that night.”

  “That’s not something you can stop from happening. Death is natural.”

  Her eyes slide out of focus, like she’s watching everything replay in her head, “When I was 13, I collapsed during my music theory class. When I was unconscious, I dreamt that I was falling into a very deep black hole. As I got closer to the bottom I saw that it was filled with a brilliant, warm light. But then the light was glaring and hot and I realized it was a pit of fire. I woke up screaming and thrashing, but I was no longer in my classroom. I was in the back of an ambulance and a paramedic was trying to restrain me and calm me down. I had hit my head when I fainted, I have a scar on the back of my head where they put four staples into my skull. He told me my mom was on her way to meet us at the hospital. Instead of feeling comforted that she was coming, I felt utter dread. An hour later, two police officers came into my room and told me that my mom had been in an accident. It had started raining really hard and visibility was really bad. There was a truck that had stalled on the off ramp by the hospital. She didn’t see it until it was too late. She tried to swerve out of the way and her car flipped over. She died instantly. She died because of me.”

  I am horrified at her matter-of-fact tone, “Fallon, you can’t blame yourself for that. It was an accident.”

  “She was on the road because of me.”

  “You don’t know what else might have happened. Death is inescapable.”

  “Even if I were blameless, the future still looks bleak. One day... one day soon I will have to leave. I thought it was going to be easier for me to stay here and give the people I loved closure by slowly pulling away. Mackenzie and I used to be inseparable. We took turns sleeping over at each other's house every weekend. Mackenzie was the closest thing I had to a sister. Sam was my boyfriend. I was certain we would be together forever. I had friends, I socialized, I went to parties. I was even popular. None of that mattered after my mom died. I don't know how to let you in, Ethan. I've been keeping people at a distance for so long.”

  I gently squeeze her hands, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Fallon

  It feels strange to have Ethan in my house. I keep turning back to see if he’s still behind me as I lead him upstairs. I’m probably just on edge since I am about to do something I have never done before. I'm nervously chewing on my bottom lip, “Now, I haven't let anyone in my bedroom since I moved into this house. No one has even been in here, not even my father.”

  I pause with my hand on the doorknob of my bedroom door. I am letting someone into my sanctuary. Not someone. Ethan. I slowly push the door open and stand aside to let him enter. He steps inside and spins around slowly in place taking in the walls which are covered in drawings, the windows covered by white shades, and the solid wood four post bed that takes up most of the floor space in the center of the room.

  With an expression of pure awe, Ethan turns to me, “These are all yours? There must be hundreds. Thousands.”

  “Since I can remember, I've always liked to draw. From an early age, I had this ability to replicate exactly what I saw. When my art teacher told my mom I was a child prodigy at the age of 6, I could tell something was off about my mom's reaction. So I told my mom I wasn't interested in painting anymore and I never went back to those art classes. I saw how that teacher treated me and how my mom reacted. Even then, I knew something about me was different. That's when I started hiding things about me that were not the norm.”

  He turns around to look at me, an expression of great sadness in his beautiful eyes. “To have to hide who you really are, even from your own mother. I don't want there to be any secrets between us, Fallon.”

  I nod in acknowledgement and Ethan continues his tour of my room. He walks up to the
wall facing the door and places his fingers on the drawing of a Gothic cathedral. “This is the drawing from your notebook on the day I first met you.” I cringe at the memory of my rudeness at the picnic tables outside the school but he doesn’t notice. Ethan carefully pulls off the tack and holds the picture with the greatest care in his hands. Behind it is a drawing of the inside of a clock which he also removes from the wall to examine. He gasps as the final page is uncovered--a self-portrait from when I was 13.

  I am sitting on my bed across from Ethan as he pores over one of the many sketchbooks I keep nearby. For the first time in a long time, I feel unburdened. I could never quite feel free after finding out what I am. He looks up at me with a huge smile on his face and turns the sketchbook over to me. “Finally, one I recognize. Tower of London, right?”

  I glance at the picture, “Yes. It's one of my favorites.”

  “Your drawings are very beautiful. But all I see in these books are pictures of architecture and machines. That portrait was exquisite. I want to see more of those.”

  “They're in storage,” I say tilting my head in the direction of the attic.

  “Upstairs?” his eyes are molten, burning with curiosity.

  I twist my hands in my lap, feeling uneasy, “There’s a lot of memories packed away up there and I don't think I'm quite ready to uncover them.”

  He gently tugs my hands apart and grasps my right hand in his. Ethan yawns hugely, his jaw cracking from the effort. “I don't think I could make it up there anyway. I'm exhausted. It's late, I should go...” He trails off looking at the alarm clock.

  I don’t want him to leave. “Please stay. It's late and I dragged you here in the middle of the night. I don't think I could live with myself if you crashed your bike riding home.” I look down at our joined hands, my face burning from the admission.

  He takes his other hand and carefully brushes my hair behind my ear. “You don't have to worry about me, Fallon. I'm built solid. But I am pretty tired...” Ethan yawns widely again, emphasizing his point.