Becoming the Enigma (The Loup-Garou Series Book 2)

by Sheritta Bitikofer

  “You look so different in slacks instead of jeans,” Katey commented.

  Logan’s nimble fingers began working at the tie material around his neck. “Believe me, it’s not a look I like either.”

  “I didn’t say it was bad, just very different.”

  “Meet us downstairs when you’re ready,” Dustin replied as he opened the door. “And don’t take all day about it.”

  Katey slipped out from under the covers and crossed to the bed where her new clothes were laid out. It then occurred to her that she never changed into her pajamas from the night before. “At least it’s only for lunch,” she commented as she pinched the hanger hook between her fingers as if the outfit was contaminated or filthy.

  Logan approached her from behind and pressed his lips just behind her ear. “It’ll be fine,” he whispered, thrilling her body with his nearness.

  But before she could turn and kiss him to delay the inevitable, he had moved away to inspect his handiwork in the closet door mirror.

  With a sigh, Katey took the outfit into the bathroom and began the grueling process of changing.

  Through much shimmying and squeezing, Katey managed to fit into the skirt. It was snug around her hips while the jacket accentuated her thin waist, but when she looked in the mirror, Katey caught herself smiling a bit at how grown up she looked. It was a far cry from the baggy clothes she had been used to wearing, that was for sure.

  She opened the door and stepped out to show Logan. He had managed to get his tie knotted just right and was waiting patiently for her. When she spun for him, he whistled flirtatiously.

  “Is it as bad as I think it is?” she asked with a wince.

  “Not at all...” his eyes lingered over her body, a tinge of pink rising in his irises that deepened to a darker shade of red. “It shows off your figure nicely.” He gave her a devious smirk.

  The change in eye color was not lost upon Katey. “Says the horny werewolf.” She hadn’t expected herself to say that word again after Darren had told her otherwise, but Logan didn’t take offense to it at all.

  In fact, he chuckled and held up a pair of high heels dangling from his fingers. Katey groaned aloud at the very sight of them.

  “Do I have to?”

  “You can’t go barefoot... Oh, and we have these for you, too,” Logan replied, leaning over to grab a pair of panty hose that was hanging on the doorknob. Her eyes grew wide with fear. Katey had never worn panty hose before.

  Through much grunting, struggling, and occasional close calls to rips, she had the panty hose and heels on and was ready to go downstairs to the lobby. By the time she came back out of the bathroom, Logan’s eyes had returned to their normal blue, but the desire behind them was not lost. It was enough to make her want to wear a skirt more often.

  Logan slipped on the black blazer jacket that might have been a little tight across his muscular shoulders, and then led her out the door carrying their heavy coats over one arm and escorting her with the other.

  17

  As Katey and Logan descended the stairs, she felt the eyes of the pack on her before she ever saw them. When she looked up, Darren, Dustin, Ben, John, and a few others were gazing up at her with kind smiles.

  Dustin let out a whistle much like the one Logan gave in their room, as he looked over Katey in her outfit. She could feel her cheeks color as they paid more flattering compliments. They had never seen her in anything more than baggy shirts and pants, but it was a favorable change in their eyes.

  “If my eyes turn red, someone slap me,” Dustin commented good-naturedly.

  Then, Ben coiled his hand back and gave Dustin a light, but unexpected, slap across the cheek.

  “Whoa! Were they really red?” Dustin asked in disbelief as he held his face.

  “No, I just wanted to slap you,” Ben replied with a toothy grin.

  Dustin growled and hooked Ben into a headlock. The other laughed boisterously.

  “Don’t ruin your suit, Dustin,” Darren warned as he stepped forward to greet Katey and Logan.

  She noticed that Ben and one other loup-garou were not dressed for the luncheon.

  “You’re not going?” she asked the omega.

  Dustin released his pack brother from the headlock and pushed him away after messing his dark hair. It took a moment for Ben to reply as his lips parted in a look of puzzlement. It was as if he wondered the same thing himself.

  “No. I never go to these fancy shin-digs,” he finally replied with a smile and moved toward the fireplace with the other loup-garou who was not dressed for the luncheon.

  “May I speak with Katey for a moment?” Darren asked, blocking their path to join the others in the common area.

  Logan did not seem pleased and would not let go of Katey’s arm at first. But when Darren sent out a pulse of dominance, he obeyed and surrendered Katey to the alpha.

  “We’ll be along shortly,” he assured his ward and then guided Katey into the adjoining game room. Logan must have joined the others because she heard them talking in low tones. Once Darren closed the door behind them, she couldn’t make out their conversation.

  It had occurred to Katey that her senses were beginning to dull. Either the roar of the plane engines had temporary crippled her, or she was unconsciously learning to tune out those sounds and noises that she didn’t need to hear. Yet, when she did try to listen, she still couldn’t pick up beyond a certain range.

  She faced Darren and pushed such worries away from her mind. There must have been a perfectly good explanation for the sudden change.

  “You look wonderful, Katey,” Darren began, leaning against the edge of the billiard table as she shifted in her high heels. “I always thought it a shame that young ladies don’t dress with such dignity anymore. I know baggy clothes are more comfortable, but the skirt flatters you. I would hope that – “

  “Darren,” Katey interrupted with a congenial smile. “You didn’t call me in here to talk about my skirt.”

  By the lost look on his face, Katey knew she was right.

  He cleared his throat and clutched the polished wooden edge of the billiard table. “The gathering is tonight and I need to go over a few things with you. We will be meeting here just before sundown and we’re going to drive down to Denali National Park. One of the park rangers is loup-garou and he allows us to enter into one of the restricted areas that regular park visitors don’t go into. The gathering is not a ceremonious event. Think of a family reunion. We will all change and socialize after nightfall until the morning. It’s our way of getting together to catch up on news, meet new loups-garous, and reestablish pack bonds.”

  Katey had never been to a family reunion, not even with her any of her foster families. She didn’t know the first thing about family gatherings and get-togethers. What would she say? What would she do? Were there games involved? How would she interact with the others?

  She wrapped her arms around her stomach and wandered to a barstool to sit down before her dizzying thoughts threatened to put her on the floor.

  “It will be very cold, so I suggest that you bundle up.” Darren continued. “We won’t leave you to fend for yourself once you’re there. John and I will keep a close eye on you. He’s a few hundred years older than me, and he trained me when I first turned. He had helped thousands of young loups-garous find their feet before I was even born. You’ll be in good hands.”

  There was a sliver of doubt in his words and Katey latched onto it. “You don’t think I should go.”

  Darren’s face went slack and his gaze dropped to the space on the floor between them. “There is an element of risk. I won’t sugarcoat it for you.” He took a breath and locked eyes with her once more. “You are the first female, Katey. There is a chance that you will not change, or you may change in a way that none of us will expect. John has agreed to help in whatever way he can, but we also may think it would be safer if you stayed at the lodge with the other women.”

  Katey grimaced and looked away, unsu
re of how to accept what Darren was implying. She didn’t want to take it personally, knowing that Darren and the others were only concerned for her safety and well-being.

  But what if she didn’t change like he said? What if the bite wouldn’t kill her, but the change did? What would Logan think of her? Waves upon waves of doubt filled her mind and she wondered if she was even ready to change at all. Her desire to be welcomed in as a full member of the pack was weighed against her fear of the unknown.

  It would have been easier to stay at the lodge, away from the loups-garous who would judge her for being so weak. Yet, if she succeeded, she wanted to see the looks on the naysayers faces when she addressed them as a loup-garou and not as a frail female.

  “Will it be painful? My first time?” she asked, looking back to Darren with her mind fixedly made up.

  Darren’s lips tightened into a grim line and he nodded. “Yes, it will hurt. But like I said, we will be there to help you get through it.”

  Dread twisted her stomach into steely knots that wouldn’t untangle no matter how hard she tried to assure herself that she would be well looked after. She took a few deep, soothing breaths to calm her nerves.

  “Will I remember anything when I change? Like, will I remember who you are and will you remember me?” she asked softly.

  Darren shook his head. “It takes a while for you to achieve that level of consciousness when you change. Not even Logan remembers what happens during his monthly changes. Only until recently, Ben started to remember the changes in full detail. But I, John, Darren, and the others, who you may meet today, will know you because their minds are mature enough to be linked with their wolf. You won’t know who any of us are, even if you have met us in your human form.”

  “So, I won’t know you because my loup-garou form has never met you?” Katey clarified.

  “Exactly,” he said with a nod. “The same will be with Logan. You two may behave like complete strangers.”

  The idea of having to start over from scratch with Logan was alarming. They had come so far and to be roadblocked by a mere difference in form seemed ridiculous. Yet, could love transcend through bodily forms and endure when the souls were the same? Or would she have to fall in love with him all over again as a loup-garou?

  Her eyes went wide at another terrible reality. What if she fell for another loup-garou instead of Logan? What if a male tried to assert himself over her? How messed up would it be that she loved a man in her human form, while she mated with another loup-garou in her beastly form?

  “What is it?” Darren asked, seeing her distress.

  “How… How does the mating work?” she stammered. “I mean, what if someone tries to do something with me and I don’t even fight back because I don’t know I’m with Logan… Oh, God. What if I get pregnant through someone else and Logan finds out?”

  Darren burst into a laugh, but Katey didn’t find it at all amusing as she shot him a reprimanding look.

  “It doesn’t work that way, Katey,” he said. “That’s another thing that I need to explain to you if you decide to go.” Darren further composed himself before continuing. “It’s clear that you and Logan are attached to one another, but courting is not a permanent state, especially for loups-garous. There’s no solid commitment between the two parties. If you notice, many of the women who are here at the gathering are married or at least engaged. We don’t bring girlfriends or other companions to these events because they would be considered eligible for mating in the eyes of unattached loups-garous.”

  Katey tightened her legs together as she wrung her hands in her lap until they sweated. “So, all the other guys see me as single, even though Logan and I are practically attached at the hip?”

  Daren wagged his head. “It’s a little more complicated than that. They may see you kissing or holding hands, but they don’t see or sense the bond between you two. Mating to us isn’t just a ring and a marriage license. It’s a connection. That connection persists throughout all of our forms, human or loup-garou. If you change, then your loup-garou form will know that you are taken, as well as the others who are looking for mates.”

  “And because we don’t have that connection, then we’re not even legit?”

  “In a manner of speaking, yes.”

  Katey bit her lips together and looked heavenward. Just when she thought things were simple, the pot was stirred again. “So, if I want to go to the meeting tonight and be around a bunch of single loups-garous without getting hit on, Logan and I need to get married today?”

  Darren shook his head. “No, no. We don’t have time for that. But, you two can establish the preliminary connection through an understanding with one another. It’s like applying the glue before adhering two materials. You can lay a foundation for the bond and that connection will be recognized by the others.”

  “Like getting engaged?”

  “Precisely,” he said, the tension that plagued him before slipping away.

  Even though she understood, it didn’t set Katey at ease. It was a massive step for her to commit to something like marriage at so young of an age. She had her whole life ahead of her and although, she was sure that Logan would be there every step of the way, there was something daunting in the idea of getting married at eighteen without a high school diploma or a college degree or an established career. How would marriage and family life complicate everything?

  “Does Logan know about this?” she asked, her voice softening to a near whisper.

  “He is aware of it.”

  So, Logan knew and he had never mentioned it. They had less than a day before the gathering and he was willing to let her slip through the cracks and fall prey to any ambitious loup-garou. It didn’t sound like him at all. Perhaps he had planned to propose and lay that foundation before the day was over. Her hands began to shake.

  What would she say? Would she have the courage to reject Logan when he was looking down at her with those eyes that couldn’t be denied whatever they begged for? Or would she be caught up in the moment and agree to anything he wanted? What did her heart truly want?

  She swallowed hard and looked back to Darren who was patiently waiting for more questions.

  “Is the full-blown mating ceremony like a wedding?”

  “It’s similar, but with a few differences. All men who intend to marry or spend their lives with any woman has to go through the mating rights and passages. It’s to ensure that the female knows exactly what they are getting themselves into, though by that point, the woman knows all about loups-garous.”

  Katey huffed. “I’ve only known Logan for a few weeks and you make it sound like we need to do this now.”

  “You don’t have to go through the mating ceremony now, though John actually recommends it since he’s one of a few loups-garous who know how to perform the ceremony.”

  “What exactly does the ritual require? I’m not about to have sex with anyone in front of people, if that’s the kind of taboo stuff it involves.”

  “Oh, no,” he replied quickly with a hint of a laugh. “Not at all. It’s much like a marriage ceremony, but a little less traditional. You say vows to each other, cut your hands and mix your blood together - before the wound heals of course - and the loup-garou performing the ceremony will wrap you both in a fur cloak to signify the union.

  “Normally the groom changes form and confronts his bride for the first time in their union in this form. The bride must show no fear before her new husband and show in their body language that they accept each other. That’s often by touching hands or paws, or nudging their heads against each other. Then the ceremony is complete. I’ve witnessed a few and they’re just as touching as any human wedding ceremony. In your case, probably both of you would change and accept each other in the same manner.”

  Katey felt her guts twist and turn within her just imagining Logan and her performing this kind of ceremony. “But neither of us know how to change at will yet. How can we go through with it and not change?”

&n
bsp; “There are ways to force the change and though it’s not the prettiest of sights, it can be done. I don’t agree that you two should be mated before we leave Alaska, but we all agree that you and Logan need to come to an understanding before tonight or you should stay at the lodge.”

  Katey’s face puckered as if she had tasted something sour. “But I want to go to the gathering. I… I want to show all of them that I can change and that I am loup-garou.”

  Darren gave her an incredulous look and it took him a moment to formulate a response. “If you want to come to the gathering, no one is going to stop you. But I’m making you aware of the risks. If… When you change, we will have to keep a close eye on you.”

  Katey nodded and took another deep breath. “I know it might not seem like a big deal to you guys, but this is huge for me. I’ve never been a part of something like this.”

  There was so much more she could say. The drive to make them proud, to prove herself, and be one of them was near the forefront of her mind. To think that she was any less of a loup-garou because she was a girl terrified her more than words could express. And some of that fear could be validated by the decline in her abilities. She hadn’t even heard a peep from her wolf since the day before, though she could still sense it in the shadows of her soul.

  Darren pushed himself off the billiard table and approached her. Cupping her face between his hands, their troubled gazes met. “I understand. This is a big deal for us all. No matter what, remember that you’re part of this pack. Nothing will ever change that.”

  Katey’s throat tightened with coming tears, but she refused to cry in the face of her alpha. She only nodded and allowed herself to be wrapped in his fatherly embrace before they made their way out of the game room and back into the common area.

  All those who were going to attend the luncheon had left, leaving Ben and the other loup-garou. On the coffee table in front of the fireplace, a chessboard had been set out and they were both engrossed in the game.