by Zig Ziglar
This is not a “cop-out” of the premise that each individual who reaches the age of accountability must accept his responsibility to mankind and will stand in front of the judgment seat of Almighty God. I’m simply acknowledging the responsibility my generation must accept because of what we did to promote these builders of destructive habits, or did not do, for example, through economic and legislative pressure to prevent their spread. The greatest of all mistakes is to do nothing because you think you can do only a little.
HE DIDN’T MEAN IT
Profanity is another bad habit. It’s disappointing to hear anyone use profanity of any kind, because we have no way of knowing where or when it’s going to start. I often hear people burst out in some “colorful expressions.” In many cases an associate or subordinate will explain that “John doesn’t mean a thing by it (cursing)—that’s just the way he is.” My problem is similar to yours. I can’t tell when a person means something or when he doesn’t. I consider it rude to interrupt such a person after every statement to inquire if it is part of what he “means” or part of what he “does not mean.”
I find it difficult to believe anyone has ever favorably influenced another for their mutual benefit by using profanity, but I know of many instances where sales were lost, friendships disrupted, opportunities missed, or courtships terminated because of it. Profanity is another of those bad habits that creeps in so gradually most are unaware they’re acquiring it. This is particularly disturbing because research shows that virtually every case of physical domestic abuse started with violent, filthy, profane language.
Even rape is generally the end result of an escalating bad habit. According to Dorothy Hicks, M.D., reporting on the results of studies done in Florida, most rapists started in the same way. Dr. Hicks points out that rape on the part of the habitual rapist is an act of violence and not an act of sex. At that moment, the rapist hates women and could not care less about her age or appearance and often can’t recall anything about her. She then points out that rapists start as peeping Toms; then they begin silently entering bedrooms where they watch women sleeping. Next they move to non-violent rape (if there is such a thing) which progresses to violent rape.
The habitual liar, the person who is chronically late, the promiscuous individual, the one who “didn’t hear the alarm” and sleeps on, all got their start in the same manner. A slight concession initially, which led to more and bigger concessions, until eventually these bad habits became a way of life.
SLOW AND EASY
All bad habits, trends, etc., start slowly, quietly, and apparently harmlessly. This is true on a personal, national, and international level. Initially, it seems so foolish to make an issue out of “such a little thing.” No one knew this better than Nikita Khrushchev, the Butcher of Budapest, who ruthlessly slew tens of millions. He clearly stated the Communist position in the Congressional Record of the United States: “We cannot expect the Americans to jump from capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small doses of socialism until they suddenly awake to find they have Communism.”
The “small doses” Khrushchev spoke of started during the Depression years when the relief programs got a good hold. It was during this period that Americans started looking for a “handout” instead of a hand up. We were laying the first foundation stones for a national policy built on fear and greed instead of strength and dignity.
The first “small doses” in the bad habit of establishing a “no win” policy took place when Truman stopped Patton and his tanks on the outskirts of Berlin, denying the Allies the victory Almighty God had given us over a godless enemy. This set the stage for the “no win” policy that has dominated our national thinking ever since. He did it for our “friend” and ally Joe Stalin, who rates second only to Mao Tse-Tung in the number of millions slaughtered. Later, despite the eloquent pleas of Churchill, we refused to attack the soft underbelly of Europe and lost those countries to Communism. The trend continued when we invited Russia to enter the war against an already defeated Japan and lost North Korea to Communism as a result. Later, still on our giant surrender program, we listened to George Marshall when he assured us that Mao and his buddies were a bunch of harmless agrarian reformers. We withdrew our aid and abandoned our long-time friend and ally Chiang Kai-Shek to the Communist hordes and lost China to Communism.
By now it should have been obvious to every politician and voter in America that we were on a collision course with disaster, but we still had some lessons to learn. In Communism we found a willing teacher. We had victory in our grasp in Korea, but liberal thinking and our “no win” policy forced us into a stalemate which exists today. Next came Cuba when, despite some alarming intelligence reports, we aided Fidel Castro in his takeover. Then we experienced the tragedy of our “no win” policy in Vietnam. Most knowledgeable military men say we could have won that war quickly by shutting down the Ho Chi Minh Trail and closing Haiphong Harbor in the early days.
Let me also remind you that Khrushchev did say they were going to “bury” us and that the Communists have broken every treaty signed with a Western nation when it was to their advantage to do so. Cambodia and South Vietnam fell to the Communists despite the Paris Cease-Fire Agreement signed by the United States and South Vietnam with North Vietnam and the Viet Cong.
Communists are simply not bound by the same moral laws that govern us. They label themselves as the “People’s” party and liberators, but you have not noticed a flood of refugees going from West Germany to East Germany, from Hong Kong to Red China, from Miami to Havana, or from Western Europe into Hungary and Russia? More recently, have you seen any refugees fleeing north to Hanoi to embrace their “liberators”? (Two reasons you never see refugees running to their Communist “liberators” are: historically they always lose their freedom, and they want to eat, and no Communist country on the earth can feed itself.)
Again, all trends and habits—both personal and national—start weak and slow but ultimately get fast and strong. I’m convinced there is time to reverse the trend but we must make our stand personally—and as a nation—now. If everyone—starting with you—keeps himself morally sound and strong, we have nothing to fear from an outside or inside foe.
Yes, I clearly understand that since See You at the Top was first published, Communism is no longer a world threat, primarily because America, under the leadership of President Ronald Reagan, strengthened our military forces and literally forced Germany to tear down the Berlin Wall because they could not compete with the free enterprise system that makes America so strong and so prosperous. I only leave the information on Communism in the book because it needs to be a reminder that we do still have North Korea, China, and Cuba, all of whom are under Communist dictators. However, China especially is turning more and more toward the free enterprise system, so the idea of Communism is a dying, almost dead one throughout the world.
Tragically, in America we are moving closer and closer to socialism, where “big government” wants to be the answer to every need people claim. In short, they feel the government “owes them” something. Of course, we need to understand that “the government” is we, the citizens and taxpayers, and literally tens of billions of dollars in welfare have done nothing but increase the number of people living in poverty. Self-reliance and accepting responsibility are still the keys to a strong and free individual, as well as a strong and free America.
BAD HABITS COME SLOWLY AND EASILY
I emphasize that virtually every bad habit you have was acquired slowly and in small steps. The analogy on marijuana applies equally to drinking. There are still those parents who condemn drugs but defend their own drinking. Many will say, “How, where, and why did our boy or our girl ever acquire such a habit? How could they turn to drugs when they have everything?” The kids might ask you parents the same question. After all, alcohol is a drug, too. Some parents, in self-righteous indignation, say, “How could they do this to us?” Let me emphasize o
ne point. Many parents will start the day with a “pep pill.” Later, to settle their nerves, they take a “tranquilizer.” To curb their appetites, they take a “diet pill.” Before dinner they have a “cocktail,” and they finish the day with a “nightcap.” During the day they smoke a pack or two of cigarettes and throw in a couple of aspirin for good measure. Then, the parents indignantly say, “Where do the kids come up with the drug habit?”
Many years ago, while driving with my mother from Columbia, South Carolina, to Charleston, South Carolina, I asked about a former classmate of mine in my hometown of Yazoo City, Mississippi. My mother lowered her voice and whispered, “Why, Son, he has turned into the ‘worst kind of drinker.’” I half-jokingly asked, “Mother, what is the ‘worst kind of drinker’?” She explained to me that my classmate would buy a bottle and, in the quietness of his home, take a drink. She stressed that he never denied his family anything, never became abusive, and never got drunk. She stressed that his drinking did not affect his job, that he was a “respected” member of the community and had recently been elected to a political post.
Somewhat startled, I facetiously asked, “Mother, is that really the ‘worst kind of drinker’?” She assured me in no uncertain terms it was and her reasoning was simple. He set a “good” example of drinking and his children saw nothing wrong with Dad, who worked so hard to support them, relaxing and taking a drink. They identified drinking with a kind, considerate, devoted husband and father. As Mother pointed out, no one wants to emulate the drunk. Had this man been inclined to abuse his family and deny them the necessities of life, the children would have been disgusted with drinking. Had he been an occupant of Skid Row or a sot who was inclined to roll in the gutter, no one would have wanted to “be like him.” (Could this be the reason the liquor industry piously urges you to drink in “moderation”?)
To reinforce what my mother was saying, France has the highest per capita wine consumption of any country in the world. They also have the highest rate of alcoholism and cirrhosis of the liver of any country in the world. For fear you might think this is a “coincidence,” let me add that Chile has the second highest per capita consumption of wine and the second highest rate of alcoholism and cirrhosis of the liver in the world.
One more “coincidence” needs to be spotlighted. It’s too early to obtain a definite figure but there has been a dramatic increase in teenage alcoholism which coincides directly with the splurge of TV advertising of beer and wine. The added tragedy is that these commercials, especially the ones on beer, concentrate on the major athletic events with their high percentage of youthful audiences. The hypocrisy is incredible: athletics to build life and health being sponsored by alcohol which destroys life and health.
The drinking habit starts with the consumption of a small amount of alcohol in beer or wine. Over a period of time, the body increases its desires and tolerances for more of the alcohol and the results have been disastrous. When I see parents giving a toddler a sip of their beer, I can’t help but wonder if I’m observing the making of another alcoholic. It’s bad enough when a person stumbles on his own into the alcoholic jungle. For a parent to lead a youngster into that jungle has to be one of the most despicable and/or foolish acts of our time. Dr. Tennant says that the younger a person starts to drink the more likely he/she is to become an alcoholic. Message: You are far more likely to “teach” your child to be an alcoholic than you are to teach him or her how to drink.
Obviously, it is a misguided act carried out in ignorance, but until we spread the truth to encourage people, alcoholism will continue to grow. It is important that we continue to learn about alcoholism and take every conceivable action to restore alcoholics to productive lives. These steps, however, without education toward prevention, make as much sense as putting an ice cube on a thermometer after it registers your temperature at 103 degrees in the mistaken belief you are “curing” the fever.
Surely as a civilized nation we can learn from the sad experiences of France and Chile—as well as from the estimated 16,000,000 alcoholic Americans, including 3,000,000 teenagers. (Some authorities say it’s closer to 25,000,000.) At this moment, liquor is the number one “drug problem” in America, and it’s growing by leaps and bounds—particularly among the youth. In New York City, for example, a recent survey revealed that 12% of the pupils have a drinking problem and nearly 60% of the high school students in America get drunk at least once each month. The same survey recommended that prevention be initiated in the elementary grades. They are partially right. It should be reinforced in the elementary grades. It should be started by Mother and Dad by example and teaching while the children are still on Mama’s knee.
Despite this fact, there are some parents who proudly state that their kids “don’t fool with dope—they only drink.” They even boast that they are teaching the kids “how” to drink properly.
Authorities now know that approximately one person in eleven who takes a social drink will become an alcoholic. To repeat myself, alcoholics, like other drug addicts, never start out to become alcoholics but all bad habits start slowly and gradually and before you know you have the habit, the habit has you.
The Surgeon General of the United States requires that cigarette manufacturers place a serious warning on a pack of cigarettes—and well he should. The mystery is, why he doesn’t demand a much stronger warning on every bottle containing alcohol. If the same people who demonstrated so violently against our involvement in Vietnam would demonstrate just half that much against our involvement with the liquor and tobacco industries and their infinitely heavier tolls in human suffering, they would render a real service to America. After all, according to Dr. James Merritt, alcohol is the fourth largest cause of death after heart disease, cancer, and stroke. Half of all homicides, a third of all suicides, half of all accidental fires, and half of all drownings are directly due to alcohol.
The Supreme Court of public opinion is still the highest law in the land. Question: Why don’t you put this book down, pick up your pen, and write your senator and congressman letters suggesting they can become national heroes—and perhaps get your vote in the next election—by introducing legislation to properly identify what alcohol does? Our laws require that we identify what’s in the bottle, but it makes more sense to tell the public what the contents do. Since we know that tobacco is addictive and kills, smoking—while still far too prevalent—is considerably less visible than it was a generation ago.
BUT THEY WERE SO LITTLE
On the western slopes of the Rocky Mountains, a giant Sequoia lies rotting. It was a growing sapling when Christ walked the shores of the Sea of Galilee. When Columbus discovered America, it was reaching maturity and it looked down from lofty heights during the American Civil War. It withstood the ravages of fires, floods, storms, and droughts. It seemed destined to live many more centuries. Then, a few years ago, a tiny beetle started to burrow into its bark and lay the eggs that would produce other beetles. It seemed like an unequal battle at first, but the few beetles multiplied into hundreds, then into thousands, and finally into millions.
First they attacked the bark, then they worked deeper and deeper into the trunk, and finally they were eating at the very heart and strength of that magnificent forest giant. Then one day, after withstanding the elements for centuries, the rains came, the winds blew, the lightening flashed, and the giant Sequoia fell. Not because of the elements. It fell because of the weakening effect of those tiny beetles. Bad habits do the same to people. They slowly take a toll until the day comes when the man, like the tree, falls.
Gone with the Wind was the first family movie to use a profane word and did it ever get a reaction! As a seventh grader in a predominantly Southern Baptist environment, I shall never forget the reaction of the community. They were dumbstruck and horrified. The liberals scoffed and said it was ridiculous for us to worry. What harm could one little word do? The next year saw another word added to the “acceptable” list for the family theater and we
were on our way—down.
Over 45 years ago, Jack Parr was “panned” unmercifully because he referred to a “water closet” on his program. Then, as one TV writer expressed it, “We started to grow up.” Hard-core pornography began to move from “adult” bookstores to the magazine racks of the family newsstand. Other programs and discussions on TV used more and more “blue” material until it became an “anything goes” format for the viewer. Shows such as South Park are the disgusting result of relaxing standards.
Today, you can view movies such as Austin Powers and American Pie in “family” theaters. Movie critic Roger Ebert wrote, “I am a sociological observer and want to record that the summer of 1999 was the season when Hollywood’s last standards of taste fell. Nothing is too gross for the new comedies.”
You can tune in on talk shows and listen to the open endorsements of “free love,” trial marriage, homosexuality, etc. It all started with a tiny crack in the dike. The breakdown of morals for the individual begins with a slight concession. First one and then another. Promiscuity begins when a boy or girl “surrenders” that priceless virginity, and morality is thrown to the winds as the confused passion of the moment usurps the place of genuine love.
Tragically, once the barrier has been lowered, it is much easier to lower it the second and subsequent times. Yes, bad habits start slowly and easily, and before you are aware you have the habit—the habit has you—and the results are disastrous. One thing we know, however, is that bad habits are the result of bad learning, and if it can be learned it can be unlearned.