The Color of Deception: An Ironic Black and White Tale of Love, Tragedy, and Triumph

by Frank Perdue

  “He said that he didn’t want to live after his wife’s death, but he had to for the baby’s sake. He was having a really tough time with it. One day a letter came from a person he had never met. The woman wrote about her relationship with God, and why she believed. It didn’t have anything to do with anyone telling her what to believe, or any particular religion. It was just common sense. It made all the difference to this man, and it has helped me, too. I am religious, but I realized that I was being selfish. I wasn’t grieving for Jake. He may actually be better off now. I was crying for me, for my loss. So I stopped. It still hurts, but I can live with it. “Does that make any sense?” She asked Ted.

  “Yes, I think it does,” he replied. And he meant it. “Another method of looking at it, I guess, is in a relative way. There are always others who are worse off.” Now it was his turn to look thoughtful. “So I promise to come out of it, and act more cheerful.”

  “Good.” Joanna smiled. “You’re much better looking when you’re in a good mood.”

  She was nice to be with. “I never thought of myself as good looking.” It was the truth.

  “Oh, you’re very handsome.” She seemed to enjoy watching him turn red right in front of her. She reached up to his face with her right hand, touching his nose in the middle of its bridge. “I always wondered what Jake would look like with a straight nose. His was broken you know.”

  “No. I didn’t know. I know almost nothing about him.”

  “”Well, physically , besides the nose, which he told me he broke in a fight, he had a small scar above his left eye, and a bump on his skull, also on the left side.”

  A quizzical look appeared on Ted’s face.

  “What’s wrong?” Joanna wondered aloud.

  “What would you think if I told you I know how he got that scar, and the bump on his head?”

  “I’d say go for it.” She answered, unbelieving.

  “Okay. The scar came from a fall when he was about nine, and the lump on his skull happened in nineteen fifty-three. Someone hit him over the head.”

  “How did you know that?” Now it was Joanna’s turn to look surprised.

  “Was I right?” He didn’t really know for sure.

  “Yes. It was like you said, everything. So how does it happen that you can recall these things when you never met Jake?”

  He finally told her about the dreams, figuring that, now perhaps, she might believe him.

  “That’s incredible! What else do you know?”

  “That’s about it. I was really hoping you could fill in some of the holes for me?” It was a question.

  “I’ll try.” She answered.

  “Okay. When he fell and cut his eye, where was he living?”

  “In San Diego. The community was called East Park, I believe. It happened right across the street from where he lived. It was a church that was being built. Jake told me that he could have been killed, except for some dumb luck.“

  “I may have driven by that church once. I felt like I had been there before. Of course, I hadn’t”

  “Ooh. That’s sending shivers up my spine.” She shuddered for effect.

  “That could be because you’re cold. It’s turning chilly out.” San Francisco in the winter was downright frigid in the evenings when skies were clear. “Why don’t we head on back. It’s getting late anyway.”

  They packed up all their picnic gear, stowed it in the giant trunk of the Ford, and climbed in. It was warmer almost immediately when they were out of the wind.

  “Okay, go on.” Ted said, glancing to his right on the bench seat. “What do you know about when he got conked on his skull?”

  “It happened in nineteen fifty-three, just like you said. He had been in battle on the Korean mainland. When relief troops arrived, he boarded a ship bound for the States. The ship was diverted to Ketchikan when a huge storm swept through the Gulf of Alaska. When he arrived there, he received a message from home. His mother had died.” She had been absently staring downward, but now she looked at Ted, a look of compassion on her face.

  “She was your mother too!”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Ted Warner’s emotions had taken a constant pounding from the time his plane landed in San Francisco, and he happened to read Randolph Guilfoyle’s follow-up article on the big pileup on Interstate Five. To protect himself, he had developed a scenario about his relationship with Jake Gentry. In fact, with each new piece of information he had to revise his solution.

  At first he was sure it could only be coincidence that the name he had heard in his dream was the same as that of some unfortunate soul who had gotten himself killed out on that highway. Then, when confronted with the picture on the driver’s license, he conceded that they might be related in some way. Maybe they were cousins. That theory was dashed when Joanna revealed that Jake himself had said he had a brother. For just an instant he told himself it might be someone else. His own face in the mirror belied that notion. Except for the nose, they were identical; that person depicted in the small photo, and himself. Even their birth date was the same. Within a mind desperate for a simple answer, that was stretching coincidence too far.

  Finally he had come to another possibility. Elaine Warner had delivered twins that day in nineteen thirty-four. For some reason she had given Jake away. Why would she do a thing like that?

  There was one more explanation available to him, but he refused to consider it. It would change everything! Besides, he had seen his birth certificate. His mother was Elaine Warner; and his father Owen Warner. It was right there on that official document; the one he had to show when he entered the Navy.

  And then Joanna Thomas had said, “She was your mother too.” It was what he had gone to her hospital room to find out, wasn’t it? The truth! Finally. Once and for all. He was thirty-five years old. He had been in a war. He had listened to the lie’s of those he held precious, not knowing that they were untrue. Did they laugh at him for being so gullible? He gave them love, and they gave him fiction in return.

  He had stopped the car at a curb on a dark unfamiliar street. He could go no farther. He immediately knew that this woman, who was not far removed from being a stranger, was telling the truth.

  “What was her name?”

  Joanna took his hand, gently. “Bessie Gentry.” She said it in a very soft voice. It was almost a whisper.

  “Tell me about her.” He had forgotten the incident with Jake in Alaska. This was more important. “How did she die?”

  Joanna looked thoughtful. “It was cancer; colon cancer. If she had gone to the doctor when she first began to feel the pain, maybe she could have survived it. But she was poor, and had no insurance. Jake said he sent her money regularly, but it wasn’t enough. He was in Korea with the Marines. He never even knew she had the disease until she was gone.”

  Ted squeezed her hand, suddenly feeling a deep loss. Tears came to his eyes. Joanna slid across the seat and put her arms around him. He began to sob, perhaps as a result of her concern as much as sadness for the woman he had never met. Suddenly he pulled away, embarrassed. It was one of the differences between a man and a woman. Men were taught not to show their emotions. It was a sign of weakness. But to a woman it was natural, and human, to feel the sadness of life so deeply.

  “If Jake and I were twins, how did we become separated?” Ted wondered, after wiping his eyes.

  Joanna settled back on the bench seat of the big car, sighed, and began to tell the story. Before she finished, the Sun was above the rooftops of the houses that lined the city street on which they had stopped.

  It was late in nineteen thirty-three when the pretty young housemaid named Bessie Gentry learned she was pregnant. By then the father-to-be had left the state, in search of more itinerant work. Bessie had no money to have her child in a clean hospital. She was prepared to deliver in the small room provided by the downtown hotel in which she worked. She would not have considered abortion, even if she knew where to go to have such a thing d
one. She was very religious.

  When the hotel manager saw how large she was growing, he became concerned. He had five children of his own. He told her about a home she could enter that would take care of her, and even provide a doctor to deliver the child when the time came.

  Bessie entered the Austin Maternity Home in the East Park neighborhood of San Diego in late April. She had gained nearly forty pounds.

  Late on the night of May 2nd her labor started. Her water broke almost immediately. The doctor was summoned , and the painful wait began.

  Twin boys were born in the evening on May 3rd. Two days later, after the shock wore off, they were named Jacob and Joseph from the Bible. Bessie had come through the ordeal admirably, but she became depressed when the realization struck that she couldn’t possibly care for the children in her situation.

  Mrs. Austin, who ran the Home, suggested adoption. She knew of at least one family who desperately wanted a child, and she was sure another could be found from her files. It would not be possible in those lean times to keep both the boys together. Sure enough, both children were placed with other families. Bessie went back to her lonely hotel room.

  Not long afterward, a forty year old salesman, who had been recently divorced, took up with Bessie. Apparently they fell in love, and were married shortly after the new year arrived. Bessie longed for her children, which she had told her man about. But there was no trace of the two boys. They seemed to be lost to her forever.

  It was eleven months after Jacob and Joseph had been put up for adoption, that fate took a hand. Before Jacob’s adoption became final, the family who had taken him had a change of heart. It seems that they were all very fair-skinned, of Scandinavian descent. After Jacob’s baby coloring wore off, and they realized how dark he was, it became apparent that they could not possibly pass the child off as their own natural son. In those days it was important to avoid the scandal of having a bastard in the family, even if he was now legitimate. So they petitioned the court to allow them to return the baby. Since the adoption hadn’t been finalized, it was fairly simple to nullify the process.

  Enter Bessie and her new husband. The court knew of their desire to have her children back. Now it would be possible to grant half of their request. Since Bessie was Jacob’s natural mother, there would be no need for a background check or financial test. Jacob was returned to his exuberant mother.

  Unfortunately, Bessie’s husband became disenchanted with his new family and the added responsibility of another mouth to feed, and before a year had passed, he moved out and filed for divorce.

  Bessie and Jacob were alone again. She went back to the only profession she knew; being a maid. The next few years were very hard for her. Of course Jacob didn’t know what was happening. His mother sacrificed to make sure he always had enough to eat, and a roof over his head. She made a deal with another housemaid who had a child. They worked different shifts. Emma would take Jacob during the night while Bessie worked, and she in turn would take care of Emma’s child Sara in the daylight hours.

  Their arrangement continued successfully for nearly seven years. During that time the children became like brother and sister; fighting one minute and inseparable the next. To say that they were unhappy because of their meager circumstance would be untrue. They knew no other way of life, and they had each other. They were never lonely.

  Bessie had been able to put very little money aside for the future, but when the war came, well-paying defense jobs were plentiful. She was hired to work on an assembly line. Before long she and Jake were able to move into a small cottage in East Park.

  Jake was left alone after school during the day while his mother was still at work. He was only seven, but he seemed older. He played childhood games, but he was also fascinated by the buildings in town. He fancied himself to be his favorite cartoon book characters Batman and Captain Marvel. He started climbing the biggest structures he could find. Even after he fell that one time he was not deterred.

  Jake was not a very good student. He wanted to be a Marine and go to war like his idol John Wayne. He seemed always to be in trouble. Mostly it was fighting. In his preteen years most of his fights were caused by other boys questioning his heritage. The word bastard touched him off every time. Later he just fought to be king of the mountain, so to speak. There was always someone to challenge him, and he never refused.

  His mother tried to talk sense to him, but he was too headstrong. He was on a fast track to prison or an early grave when the Korean War started. He still wanted to be a Marine, but they wouldn’t take him without a high school diploma. The recruiter suggested the G.E.D. exam. He took it and passed. Bessie signed the enlistment papers reluctantly. In the end she knew that he would die on the street faster than the war could kill him. He was still but seventeen when boot camp ended and he went off to war.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Ted looked up to see the Sun shining through the haze on the horizon. He was surprised. It couldn’t be that late, or early.

  “What time is it?” Joanna asked sleepily.

  Ted answered, “almost seven” looking at his watch. “Where did the night go?”

  “You owe me,” she said playfully, a twinkle in her eyes. It was a spark that was dulling fast.

  “Time to get you home.” He turned on the ignition, and the car’s engine roared to life. They might have realized how long they had sat there but for the fact that it was Sunday morning, and traffic on that particular street was light.

  As he headed in the direction of Joanna’s house, he asked, “Whatever happened to the girl Sara?”

  “She got Polio. She didn’t survive. It happened in nineteen forty-six”.

  “That’s too bad. Seems there was nothing but tragedy in Jake’s life.”

  Joanna looked thoughtful. “Oh, I don’t know. He had me.”

  “That’s right.” He smiled, as he pulled up in front of her house. “You know, I’ve never met your Mom.”

  She looked at Ted, a furrow in her brow. “And you’re not going to today either. I need some sleep right now.”

  “Can I call you later?” He said, just before she closed the car door.

  “Of course. But right now all I can think of is hitting my pillow. Bye.”

  He felt lonely the minute she was out of his sight. He went home and slept for twelve hours.

  He decided not to call Joanna that night. He had some thinking to do. By the time he finally fell asleep again around one on Monday morning, he had made a decision; actually two decisions.

  He called her at nine Tuesday morning. “Can you meet me for a late breakfast, or have you already eaten?”

  “Hello to you too. Did you sleep straight through, or did you just forget to call me?” She sounded a little testy.

  “No to the first part, and no to the second part. I just had to iron out some things with myself. I could never forget anything having to do with you.” He hoped this last would get him out of the doghouse.

  It worked. “Well, in answer to your questions, yes to the first, and no to the second.” She was being cute. He liked that better than pouty.

  “I forgot what my questions were. Refresh my memory.”

  “I’d love to have breakfast for lunch with you. You may pick me up at eleven.” She hung up before he could answer.

  He waited until after their meal to spring it on her. “I’m going to San Diego.”

  “Why?” but she already knew.

  “I’ve got to see Elaine.” He didn’t call her Mother.

  “I’ll miss you.” she said sadly. Then as an afterthought, and to lighten the moment, “I’ve grown used to someone else buying my meals”.

  He smiled. “But you haven’t heard all of it yet. I want you to go with me.”

  Before she could answer, he continued. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. Your friend won’t be back for another week. And you said yourself that you need to get out of the house. Who will take you if I’m gone?” She started to speak, but he
wasn’t finished. “We’ll have separate rooms at the hotel. Besides, I need you for moral support. What I have to do may not be pleasant.”

  “Are you quite finished?” He nodded in the affirmative. “Then I’d love to accompany you. I have no desire to stay here without my crutch.”

  He was puzzled. “Your crutch?”

  “You.”

  “Oh.” He was a happy man.

  They weren’t able to get out on a flight ‘til Thursday. Even though Joanna suggested it, he didn’t call Elaine Warner to tell her he was coming. He wanted the element of surprise. Perhaps then her answers would be sincere.

  They checked in at a downtown hotel, and were able to obtain adjoining rooms. Perhaps the extra twenty dollars up front helped.

  He called Elaine from his room. All he told her was that he had some time, and wanted to see her. She sounded delighted. The cab ride to Belltown took about twenty minutes. Joanna didn’t accompany him. She was going to do some downtown window shopping. He warned her that most of the old department stores were gone now, but she wasn’t deterred. It was probably better that he see the woman he had called Mother alone.

  Elaine lived in a modest one-bedroom apartment. She had only a small dog for company. She had not remarried, even though she was still attractive, and looked much younger than her sixty-five years. She’d loved just two people in her life. Owen was gone, and she seldom saw Ted. She was so excited that he was in town.

  When Ted arrived, and was seated comfortably in her deep-cushioned brown chair, a nice hot cup of cocoa in hand, Elaine took her place on a matching sofa across the room. She was wondering why he had seemed so stiff when she kissed him. She had always kissed her son on the mouth. She didn’t know why. It just seemed natural to her. But on this day he pulled away almost immediately.

  Ted, on the other hand, was thinking why does she always kiss me on the lips? In his mixed-up frame of mind he even thought that it might be because they were not really related; not by blood.