Puppy Love
Page 14
It was the latest I’d woken in a month and I was content, happy with my life. My head was nestled on Emily’s chest, and I could feel her steady breathing as she slept. Tracing a path from her collar bone, I took the opportunity to see her naked in the morning light. She was more breath taking than I could comprehend, and I gently kissed the curve of one breast.
She mumbled something and nestled her jaw on top of my head, then wrapped her arm more tightly around me and held me close.
I could see faint bruising on her skin and blushed at the memory of the previous night. Emily Carson had definitely made me hers…that I could say. I hoped she felt the same way this morning.
Ping. Seed of doubt time.
Would she feel the same way? Was I enough for her? Was last night actually all that it seemed, or was it just what I hoped it had been? She had told me she loved me, even explained her reasons, but what if now, in the bright light of the day, she saw the real me? The one my parents thought was a low-life, a degenerate. A flicker of despair ignited my fears, and I had the urge to flee.
“I love you, Ellie.”
It was as if she had heard my thoughts. It was perfect, and I felt myself relaxing into her again. Her hand slipped down my back, and I felt a spark of desire. I was surprised; I had thought we had exhausted ourselves the night before.
Emily’s brown eyes were open and looking intently into my face. Lowering her mouth, she kissed me tenderly and that spark exploded into a full-fledged burn. Emily deepened the kiss. It was still gentle, but it held that element of decision.
Then she was over me, her leg thrown over mine, her mound pressing against my thigh. She began to move, slowly, her lips still on mine, her body covering me. I lifted my thigh to press into her, while my other leg curled around her and increased the pressure. Our lips separated, and we just stared into each other’s eyes as we moved against one another.
This wasn’t sex. This was love. We were making love. Gently. Urgently gently. Our eyes fixed on each other’s, our hearts in our throats ready to explode with our consummation. There was no need for fingers or tongues; all we needed was each other and the intimate contact between two lovers.
When we came, we came as one. Our hearts, our minds, our everything. We didn’t break eye contact, just shuddered our release into the gap separating our mouths before a kiss sealed it all.
Perfect. So perfect. Just like her.
At ten-thirty, we were at the Dogs Trust, a new lead and red ball in hand.
Charlie was waiting for us when we arrived, as if he knew we would be early today, as if he knew today was the first day of the rest of his life. I wondered if he knew it felt the same for me. Probably. He was one smart lad.
I clicked his lead to his collar, and Charlie moved in the opposite direction from his usual walk out the back of the kennels. He made his way to the front entrance, the entrance where we had parked my truck. Amazingly, he knew which vehicle was mine even before I led him towards it. He didn’t bat an eyelid when I opened the dog carrier I had on the back seat. He happily scrambled up to take his place on his new blanket and bed.
“Looks like someone knows his way home.” Charlie’s key worker, Sharon, laughed as she leaned inside the box and patted him lovingly on the head. “You’ve got two mummies now, fella.”
How did she know? I turned to look at Emily, who was smiling at me with such love on her face, Sharon would have been an idiot to miss it.
“Good to see you two worked out your differences. Charlie needs all the love he can get.”
She needn’t worry. He would have enough love to last him a lifetime. That was one thing I was sure of.
Epilogue
It has been over seven months since the day we collected our little man from the Trust, and each day has been an experience. Mostly good. We won’t mention the digging up of my favourite plant. No. Not by Charlie. Emily. She thought it was a weed. Emily and I are stronger than ever. Life with her is nearly perfect. The only downside to our love is living separately, but that is soon to change. No. I’m not moving into her house, and she isn’t moving into mine. We are buying a house together, complete with a huge garden and lots of potential. In other words, it needs work—something that doesn’t scare either of us. A landscape gardener and a property developer should do fine, shouldn’t they?
When I started this tale, I mentioned the very first time I fell in love. Now you know I was lying, don’t you? I’d skipped over Toby—probably just to get your attention, as I didn’t want this story to be full of my grief for my first and lost love. Don’t get me wrong, Toby is still in here, still wedged inside my heart, but now I can bring up his memory without experiencing the agony of him being gone. What I was hoping to show you is a progression: love blossoming, and how I overcame my grief, my anger, my aversion to letting love inside again.
My parents still hate me. That is something they need to deal with, not me. If they can’t accept who I am, who I love, then do I really want, or need, them in my life? No.
One thing I have learned is that we have to be who we are and not who others want us to be. I didn’t set out to be gay, didn’t set out planning to go against their wishes. This is who I am: Ellie Anderson, Lesbian.
Being gay doesn’t define me, either. Does Charlie love me any less if I am gay rather than straight? Rich or poor? No. He loves me for who I am. Maybe one day, people will take a leaf out of his book and overlook age, size, intellect, religion, sexual orientation, disability, skin colour, and anything else that doesn’t sit right with the “perfect people” in this big diverse world in which we live.
It was true that I wasn’t looking for love, never intended to fall so completely under the spell of that gorgeous boy. It is also true that I didn’t fight the feelings I had for Charlie. So, why did I fight what I felt for Emily? Was it really because I believed I couldn’t have one without losing the other? Or was it plain old fear of opening myself up to being hurt again?
Losing someone you love is devastating, whether they be animal or human. The grief comes in waves and takes you by surprise just when you think you are doing fine. Nothing can prepare us for that. There are no classes you can attend that can help you prepare for loss, and loss comes in many shapes and sizes. Losing the love of my parents hurt. It was like a kick in the teeth. But I couldn’t, and never will, lose who I am inside. To that, I will be true, and I hope you will be too.
Charlie loved us from the start, he trusted from the start, and look what he had endured—beatings, injuries, abandonment. And I thought I’d had it rough. He didn’t let the past impinge on what he could have; he didn’t let the actions of one bastard hold him back from what he wanted. And what did he want? Love. Acceptance. A ball, and someone to throw it for him. He wanted a world where he could play and be happy.
Not really a lot to ask for when you think about it. Love is free and should be given freely, whether by man or dog.
When I consider the events that led me to Emily, it still makes me smile to think that Abbie did make a match after all, but I forgive her. Who wouldn’t? She’s my sister, and only did what she did for my sake. If it hadn’t been for her going to the Trust on New Year’s Day, I would never have met Charlie, never have met Emily. That would mean I would still be the same as I was in 2011—a bitter and twisted old lezza with a penchant for Hebe.
I’m coming to the end of my rambling now, as I have to meet with Abbie, Rob, Lils, and Poppy. Emily is outside playing with Charlie. His excited woofs are drifting in from outside. It is family time, a time we should cherish. And I do. Very much. I make sure all the people in my life know how much they mean to me each and every day, whether through my actions or my words. Knowing they know I love them is what truly matters.
Now I am contemplating how to finish this story. Should I just write “The End” and scuttle off somewhere, or should I try t
o pass on a little more of what I have learned?
You guessed it.
Ice cream and nuts. You can have both, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Emily is my ice cream, and I am nuts about her. Sorted.
About L.T. Smith
L.T. is a late bloomer when it comes to writing and didn’t begin until 2005 with her first novel Hearts and Flowers Border (first published in 2006).
She soon caught the bug and has written numerous tales, usually with a comical slant to reflect, as she calls it, “My warped view of the dramatic.”
Although she loves to write, L.T. loves to read, too—being an English teacher seems to demand it. Most of her free time is spent with her furry little men—two fluffy balls of trouble who keep her active and her apologies flowing.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LT-Smith
E-mail her at fingersmith@hotmail.co.uk
St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center, USA
For those not able or not wanting to donate to the Dogs Trust—you might want to consider St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center:
Founded in 1939, St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center is a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization dedicated to the humane treatment of companion animals. The organization believes in and provides services that support the human-animal bond and seeks to foster an environment in which people respect all loving creatures. Its services to the community include pet adoption and animal rescue; humane education, dog training, and professional education; and pet loss support. St. Hubert’s has shelters in Madison and North Branch, NJ, and a Behavior and Training Center in Madison. Shelters are open seven days a week. Visit them at www.sthuberts.org
Other books from Ylva Publishing
http://www.ylva-publishing.com
See Right Through Me
L.T. Smith
ISBN 978-3-95533-065-1 (mobi)
978-3-95533-066-8 (epub)
approx. 80,600 words
Trust, respect, and love. Three little words—that’s all. But these words are powerful, and if we ignore any one of them, then three other little words take their place: jealousy, insecurity, and heartbreak.
Schoolteacher Gemma Hughes is an ordinary woman living an ordinary life. Disorganised and clumsy, she soon finds herself in the capable hands of the beautiful Dr Maria Moran. Everything goes wonderfully until Gemma starts doubting Maria’s intentions and begins listening to the wrong people.
But has Maria something to hide, or is it a case of swapping trust for insecurity, respect for jealousy and finishing with a world of heartbreak and deceit? Can Gemma stop her actions before it’s too late? Or will she ruin the best thing to happen in her life?
Given her track record, anything is possible…
Hot Line
Alison Grey
ISBN 978-3-95533-016-3 (mobi)
978-3-95533-015-6 (epub)
approx. 27,180 words
Two women from different worlds.
Linda, a successful psychologist, uses her work to distance herself from her own loneliness.
Christina works for a sex hotline to make ends meet.
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L.A. Metro
(Second edition)
RJ Nolan
ISBN 978-3-95533-039-2 (mobi)
978-3-95533-038-5 (epub)
approx. 97,210 words
Dr. Kimberly Donovan’s life is in shambles. After her medical ethics are questioned, first her family, then her closeted lover, the Chief of the ER, betray her. Determined to make a fresh start, she flees to California and L.A. Metropolitan Hospital.
Dr. Jess McKenna, L.A. Metro’s Chief of the ER, gives new meaning to the phrase emotionally guarded, but she has her reasons.
When Kim and Jess meet, the attraction is immediate. Emotions Jess has tried to repress for years surface. But her interest in Kim also stirs dark memories. They settle for friendship, determined not to repeat past mistakes, but secretly they both wish things could be different.
Will the demons from Jess’s past destroy their future before it can even get started? Or will L.A. Metro be a place to not only heal the sick, but to mend wounded hearts?
Something in the Wine
Jae
ISBN 978-3-95533-007-1 (mobi)
978-3-95533-006-4 (epub)
approx. 99,640 words
All her life, Annie Prideaux has suffered through her brother’s constant practical jokes only he thinks are funny. But Jake’s last joke is one too many, she decides when he sets her up on a blind date with his friend Drew Corbin—neglecting to tell his straight sister one tiny detail: her date is not a man, but a lesbian.
Annie and Drew decide it’s time to turn the tables on Jake by pretending to fall in love with each other.
At first glance, they have nothing in common. Disillusioned with love, Annie focuses on books, her cat, and her work as an accountant while Drew, more confident and outgoing, owns a dog and spends most of her time working in her beloved vineyard.
Only their common goal to take revenge on Jake unites them. But what starts as a table-turning game soon turns Annie’s and Drew’s lives upside down as the lines between pretending and reality begin to blur.
Something in the Wine is a story about love, friendship, and coming to terms with what it means to be yourself.
Broken Faith
(revised edition)
Lois Cloarec Hart
ISBN 978-3-95533-053-8 (mobi)
978-3-95533-054-5 (epub)
approx. 127,700 words
Emotional wounds aren’t always apparent, and those that haunt Marika and Rhiannon are deep and lasting.
On the surface, Marika appears to be a wealthy, successful lawyer, while Rhiannon is a reclusive, maladjusted loner. But Marika, in her own way, is as damaged as the younger Rhiannon. When circumstances throw them together one summer, they begin to reach out, each finding unexpected strengths in the other.
However, even as inner demons are gradually vanquished and old hurts begin to heal, evil in human form reappears. The cruelly enigmatic Cass has used and controlled Marika in the past, and she aims to do so again.
Can Marika find it within herself to break free? Can she save her young friend from Cass’ malevolent web? With the support of remarkable friends, the pair fights to break free—of their crippling pasts and the woman who will own them or kill them.
Coming from Ylva Publishing in spring 2014
http://www.ylva-publishing.com
Coming Home
(revised edition)
Lois Cloarec Hart
A triangle with a twist, Coming Home is the story of three good people caught up in an impossible situation.
Rob, a charismatic ex-fighter pilot severely disabled with MS, has been steadfastly cared for by his wife, Jan, for many years. Quite by accident one day, Terry, a young writer/postal carrier, enters their life and turns it upside down.
Injecting joy and turbulence into their quiet existence, Terry draws Rob and Jan into her lively circle of family and friends until the growing attachment between the two women begins to strain the bonds of love and loyalty, to Rob and each other.
Hearts and Flowers Border
(revised edition)
L.T. Smith
A visitor from her past jolts Laura Stewart into memories—some funny, some heart-wrenching. Thirteen years ago, Laura buried those memories so deeply she never believed they would resurface. Still, the pain of first love mars Laura’s present life and might even destroy her chance of happiness with the beautiful, yet seemingly unobtainabl
e Emma Jenkins.
Can Laura let go of the past, or will she make the same mistakes all over again?
Hearts and Flowers Border is a simple tale of the uncertainty of youth and the first flush of love—love that may have a chance after all.
In a Heartbeat
RJ Nolan
Veteran police officer Sam McKenna has no trouble facing down criminals on a daily basis but breaks out in a sweat at the mere mention of commitment. A recent failed relationship strengthens her resolve to stick with her trademark no-strings-attached affairs.
Dr. Riley Connolly, a successful trauma surgeon, has spent her whole life trying to measure up to her family’s expectations. And that includes hiding her sexuality from them.
When a routine call sends Sam to the hospital where Riley works, the two women are hurtled into a life-and-death situation. The incident binds them together. But can there be any future for a commitment-phobic cop and a closeted, workaholic doctor?
Puppy Love
© by L.T. Smith
ISBN (mobi) 978-3-95533-145-0
ISBN (epub) 978-3-95533-146-7