Someone Bad and Something Blue

by Miranda Parker

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked. “You hired a habitual DUI, alcoholic, whose family is mountain moonshiners, to purchase spirits for Flappers? Please tell me you’re not the one who knocked her off the wagon, Sean.”

  “For the record I hired Ms. DiChristina to procure legit artisan liqueur distill. She came highly recommended and I believe—just like you do—in giving people second chances,” he said. “You cannot blame me if she couldn’t control her environment.”

  “Sean, there is no such thing as legit corn likker or whatever you want to call it to make it sound pretty. You hired Rosary to buy shine. That’s what she did and that’s why she’s missing. Roger, please school your boy.” I turned to Maxim. “Are we going to look for her?”

  “The deputy marshal in South Georgia is on the lookout for her. We’ll find her.”

  “Good.” I sighed. “She has a young daughter who needs her here, clean and sober.”

  “Duly noted,” Maxim said, then cleared his throat. “Now, you’re to meet the host before the party begins. His name is Luxe. From what we’ve learned Luxe’s throwing a party for some baller’s twenty-fifth birthday. So there will probably be some jailbait there trying to get in.”

  “We need to make sure that alcohol doesn’t get into the wrong hands,” the ATF guy said.

  “Like teens? What kind of party is this?” I looked around. “There’s a big difference.”

  “Birthday party, baller party. Teen, blue light. Same difference,” Maxim said.

  I laughed. He said that like it was true. However, there was a big difference when teens were involved. Teenage house parties were more dangerous than a strip joint off Metropolitan Road. In the past few months three kids had been shot and one gutted at these parties. Maxim must have lost the last bit of his mind if he thought I was batting my pretty browns up in there.

  I pursed my lips. “Um, Maxim . . . not for nothing, but were you joking when you told Tiger that y’all were contracting me for this?”

  “No, I wasn’t joking. You’ll be compensated as a private investigator.”

  “How much is this compensation, by the way?”

  He frowned. “The going rate. Why? What’s the problem?”

  “My rates just went up.” I snapped my fingers. “Way up.”

  He huffed. “Do explain.”

  “I’ll have to spend all of tomorrow morning at Halle-Do-Ya Salon & Spa to wash the thirties and the twenties off my face, then I need a quick Yoga class to limber up. And the clothes. I have to dress baller chic to go up in there. And I need a smaller stun gun. My old one is cracked.”

  “You’re there to buy, not become a baller’s baby mama or tase anyone,” Maxim growled. “Anyway, those young girls look just as dried-up nowadays, so . . .”

  “Are you calling me dried-up now?” I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and found the calculator feature. “Let’s add an extra $250 for a microderm abrasion peel. Shall we?”

  “Angel, stop. You know you look dang good. You look younger than your own twin. Wear that dress you wore to Flappers the other night. It was hot.”

  I stopped play-calculating. “You were there?”

  He nodded. “We were there.”

  “Get a room,” someone mumbled.

  I blushed. “I think someone can help with the wardrobe, if you can help with the gun, because I’m gonna need that for real.”

  23

  Thursday, 9:00 PM

  Luxe’s, Stone Mountain, Georgia

  I couldn’t meet with Maxim before the party because he was already there in surveillance mode somewhere between the trees and hopefully not in that bog truck. However, he did manage to text me three times on Sean’s cell phone that he would be waiting for me as soon as I brought Luxe outside. That gave me little consolation.

  Those words reminded me of the many times Tiger left me hanging in the back alley of some club. He, too, was supposed to be waiting for me when I brought someone out, but he was often late. I rubbed the bruise Cade Taylor had left on my shoulder when he dragged me through Underground Atlanta last year. It still felt tender. The betrayal was always there....

  To top it off, my gut wasn’t satisfied with Sean Graham. He wasn’t telling us everything. Like Tiger said, Sean only told us what he wanted us to know. I hoped that whatever he withheld didn’t put me or anyone else in danger.

  Mom had agreed to stay over and take Bella to school in the morning so that Whitney could get Lana a good spot at Filene’s Basement. I would join the bridal team later after I did my job here and recovered some of yesterday’s sleep. Therefore, I needed to get in here and get out with no hiccups and surprises. I would be a fool to not prepare for the hiccups just in case.

  Sean’s phone rang; I answered.

  “Why didn’t you wear that dress that I suggested?” Maxim asked. There was a hint of pissed-offness in his voice.

  I squinted at the phone. “Can you see what I have on?” I asked.

  “Of course I can and I don’t like it. Well, I do like it. But I don’t like it for this. That’s not what I asked you to wear. This is going to be a problem . . . for me,” he stammered.

  “Are you okay, boss?” Ty chuckled.

  I gasped and hit Ty, the ATF guy, in the back of the head. He was my chauffeur for the night and enjoying every minute of it so far. Unlike moonshine runners back in the day, these retro renegades today didn’t use pickup trucks and Bedford vans to drive shine across county lines. Instead, they put pretty girls in limos and paraded them around celebrity parties and red carpet affairs. All the attention was on the girl, while the chauffeur handled the real business—the moonshine delivery and transportation—in the parking garage. It was very intelligent on their part, indeed.

  “Turn the camera off,” I whispered, more like spat out. “I don’t want him looking up my legs.”

  “Too late,” Maxim said.

  “Can’t. Government property.” Ty chuckled. “Honestly, I like the dress. It makes your skin pop. We men like skin.”

  I bit my lip and returned to Maxim’s call. “Did you hear Ty? Men like skin. So what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

  “The other dress you wore on your date with Brother Boyfriend was pretty and subdued. You looked innocent and safe. You fit in, but didn’t sparkle. That’s what I needed. Low key and definitely not that high up your hip. You definitely can’t sit down in front of Luxe with that on. He may forget his train of thought and have us out here in this cold all night.”

  “I can sit down in this dress. I’m sitting down now.”

  “Yes, I know.” He huffed. “I think we should call him and tell them we have a delay while you change. We’re not that far from your sister’s house. I’m sure she can give you something more than just that fur coat. By the way, you look like a pimp’s daughter with that thing.”

  “When Ava wears it she looks like an angel, but when I wear it I look like the child of a pimp? How insulting.”

  “You know that’s not what I meant. We just don’t have a margin for error and I can’t fail this because of a shiny, too-short dress.”

  “Chill out. No pun intended.” I crossed my legs. “This is a posh party and that’s what I look like. You can’t tell me that I can’t lead Luxe away from the party with this on.”

  “More like lead him on, the way you’re dressed, and you better hope no one recognizes you in there, because all eyes will be on you the moment you step out of the car.”

  “They won’t recognize me, because I’m white tonight. Remember? Your words.”

  “You got jokes.” He scoffed. “Just don’t get yourself killed. A stun gun can’t beat a Glock in a gun fight.”

  “Who said I wasn’t packing heat?” I asked.

  “Packing where? You don’t have on any clothes.” He scoffed. “Now that was funny.”

  “That’s for me to know and you to never find out.” I rolled my neck.

  “Is this how you talk to your boyfriend?” Maxim asked.


  I frowned and took a deep breath. “Hey, you’ve been out of line since we began this conversation. You keep talking to me like that and we can end this conversation and call this a night.”

  “You’re right and we’re out of time. See you on the other side.... I’m sorry.” He hung up.

  “We’re here?” I hung up the phone and pulled out my compact.

  “In about ten minutes,” Ty said. “I can see the security gates up the road.”

  I double-checked my makeup and added more lip gloss to my lips and cheeks. The more the glow the better.

  “You know he didn’t mean it the way it came out,” Ty said. “He’s not a jerk.”

  “Well, he’s doing a good job at being a first-class jerk. I could have been home in my bed asleep or preparing for my class tomorrow.”

  “Do you like the training?”

  “I like his uncle, not so much him. He’s a stickler for the rules, even if the rules are stupid.”

  “Are you sure you’re mad not at him but what he represents? I know you bail recovery agent types tend to live close to the edge.”

  “The people we deal with are close to the edge. I’m pretty sure they’re standing on the edge in ATF.”

  “Nope, most bad guys aren’t that bad. Most of the time they’re trying to take care of their family the best way they know how, regardless of what the law says about it.”

  “I agree.”

  “We’re here,” he said.

  I looked ahead and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Luxe’s home was a luxurious, Italian-style mansion that resembled a castle tucked behind miles of magnolia, Georgia pine, and a massive brick wall. At night under the lawn lights it shimmered golden.

  “This is amazing.” I oohed and aahed.

  “Keep your garter belt tight, Angel. We have work to do,” Ty said.

  “I know, but if you guys seize this property tonight, I want first dibs on the auction.” I giggled.

  Ty chuckled. “I’m pulling you up to the black carpet. You have sixty minutes to get him out before we have to arrest every NBA player and shot caller in Atlanta tonight. Got it?”

  “That shouldn’t be hard with my short dress on.” I nodded, then checked the time. I’d be home before I knew it.

  As I stepped out of the limo, I heard the cold night air laughing at me. Whitney had styled me tonight like usual, but she’d taken it up a notch. Her words. I wore an ice blue, beaded cocktail dress with a high v-neckline. It was short enough to keep the attention on my legs and not the Kahr gun strapped to my blue garter belt. I held a white faux fur coat in my hand that was on loan from Ava. My only fear was someone spilling red wine on it. Then I would have to fight.

  Ty wrapped me in the coat after he closed my door and whispered, “Maxim had a few more words for you.”

  “And what is that?” I grumbled.

  “Keep that coat on or else.” He snickered.

  I didn’t know where Maxim was, but I knew his eyes were still on me. I sauntered up the stairs toward the publicist standing at the door and handed her my phone. She nodded to the guards at the door for them to welcome me inside. But before I went in I slid my coat off slow and dropped it in front of the guards. Then I took my dear time wiggling myself down, in order to get it off the ground without showing my money maker. Maxim couldn’t text me back because the publicist still had Sean’s phone in her hand, but I knew he wanted to. I’m sure the text would have been filled with expletives and words I’d never heard before, if that phone was in my hand.

  “Ms. DiChristina, I can help you with that.” One of the guys whisked my coat off the floor, then caught my arm. “Luxe had express orders for me to bring you to him as soon as you got here.”

  “Then please do.” I smiled and batted my eyes. “I can’t wait to see what he’s done for the party tonight.”

  From the outside I knew Luxe was loaded, but I didn’t know how rich he truly was until I walked inside. Twenty-five rooms, was what my escort told me. Each room was different and had a different theme: casino, tiki, disco, Parisian, Alice in Wonderland.... I spotted a speakeasy-style bar in another room and soon realized Luxe was a genius. Whatever fantasy you had in mind, he had a room for it. How kinky you wanted the party to go, Luxe would supply it. I didn’t know what kind of parties they had in here before, but I could tell it was definitely worth the money.

  I followed my escort to a corner room between the restrooms. He unlocked a plain door in the hall and welcomed me inside. The room was small and painted black. There was an antique gold pie table placed in front of the wall. A black and vintage French porcelain and gold rotary phone sat on top of it. There was an etching of a naked woman framed in a gold Italian frame above it. Luxe sure had taste.

  My escort quietly shut the door and smiled. “Don’t freak out, ma’am, but you remind me of my pastor.”

  I looked down, then frowned. “I thought this dress made me look hot, not holy.”

  “No. You look fine, very fine . . .” He rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. “Too fine.”

  I didn’t know what stupid woman gave this guy the impression that looking at her as if she was a fresh-out-the-oven batch of fried chicken was cute, but if I found her, I would slap her. Because that look wasn’t sexy at all.

  “It’s just you look a little like her,” he said.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Pastor Ava McArthur of Greater Atlanta Faith Church.”

  I almost dry heaved the cashews I’d eaten on the ride over here and then I collected myself. “But isn’t she African American?”

  He nodded. “Yep, my bad. I don’t know what I was thinking. The more I look at you, you don’t look like her at all.”

  “It’s all right. I heard she’s very pretty.” I rolled my eyes and thanked the room for being dimly lit.

  “She’s not as pretty as you are.” He blushed.

  How cute? I giggled. “I like you. I hope Luxe is paying you well for buttering me up.”

  “Pedro, leave Rosie alone. She’s a very busy businesswoman,” someone said from behind us. “I don’t want her man on my bad side. That wouldn’t be good for us at all.”

  I hadn’t been aware that there was another door. I turned around. Another man stood in front of me now.

  I extended my hand toward him. “Luxe, I assume.”

  He smiled. Luxe wasn’t as pretty as his name, but there was a glint of charm in his hazel eyes. His skin was lighter than caramel, but darker than tan. The light brown fuzz around his lip and chin did a bad job of hiding how boyish this man looked to be in his forties. The rich tone in his voice and the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth gave his age away. He was skinny, but not bone skinny. If he ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches for breakfast for six months straight he would chisel-up easy. The more I looked at him, the better he looked. Something about that discovery made me smile.

  “Sean didn’t tell me you were stunning,” he said. His eyes followed every move I made.

  “I have a business policy not to blush on the job.” I blushed. “You’re getting me into trouble.”

  His eyes danced. “Well, let’s get business out the way then. Shall we? I want to see what you can do when you’re off the clock.”

  Bingo. I nodded, pulled a roll of cash out of my coat, and handed it to him. “Let’s do this then.”

  The sting operation happened fast and fabulous, thirty minutes fast. Luxe sat in the back of Maxim’s Crown Victoria threatening my life, while Ty and the sheriff seized: 100 gallons of white lightning, 20 firearms, ammo, 500 pounds of marijuana, and a white tiger. Thank goodness I didn’t see that thing or I would have never left the car. Who in the world would bring a white tiger to a party?

  I sat in the limo next to Maxim. He wanted to talk to me before he took Luxe in.

  He laid the coat across my lap. “Job well done.”

  I looked down at my covered legs and chuckled. “Does that mean I graduate?”

 
“Uncle Deke will determine that, but I will give him my extra credit grade for you.”

  “And what grade would that be?” I batted my eyes and cheesed.

  “Whatever you need to pass with flying colors.” He grinned. “And your eyes and legs had nothing to do with it. You earned it.”

  “Thank you.” I chuckled and shook my head. “So are we done here? Am I free to leave?”

  “Indeed you are. Ty won’t be driving you home, of course. Neither will I.”

  “So do I get to drive the limo home?”

  “You’re licensed to drive one of those?” he asked.

  “Yes, I have a hack license. Don’t ask why.”

  He chuckled and waved his hands in the air. “Well, it doesn’t have to be turned in until close of day tomorrow. That’s plenty of time to take the bridal posse to Filene’s Basement in it.”

  I sat up and straightened my dress. “Are you serious? I can have this for the rest of the day?!”

  “Call it a perk for taking illegal alcohol, drugs, and firearms off the streets. I think you beat a record or something. That went down fast.” He scratched his head.

  I hopped over and hugged him. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

  He patted my back and lifted me back to the other side of the limo. He cleared his throat. “It’s okay. You need to get a move on if you want to surprise the girls before they head downtown.”

  “You’re right, but I need to get out of the backseat if I’m driving this puppy.” I handed him his coat back and let him help me step out of the limo. “I’m curious. What will happen to the party-goers and Luxe’s staff?”

  “If they’re innocent, then they’re innocent. We have our ways of knowing. Don’t worry about that. Now go.”

  “And Rosary? Luxe is pretty pissed at me, actually her. We haven’t found her yet. What if Luxe sends someone after her? Is she in any more danger?”

  “Luxe, better known as Lucas Dumas, isn’t a concern. The person who supplied him the shine is, however.”

  “The distiller?”

  Maxim nodded. “We need to find the supplier. Hopefully, Luxe can give us that information.”