The trees on the land start to get thicker as they begin to join forestry area that doesn’t belong to Jack’s family. The cabin is near the boundary, but we can keep going; the land past here isn’t privately owned.
“How come you didn’t want to get straight into the hot tub with a beer?”
She shrugs and pushes her long hair behind her shoulders. “I don’t know. Just felt like I needed a minute before we joined them.”
“Are you getting as antisocial as you call me?”
A laugh bubbles from her throat. “See the influence you have on me? They’re going to be super loud and obnoxious, and while I’m all up for that, I like the peace, too.”
Yeah, I like nothing but the peace. I love my friends, but loud, drunk people mostly piss me off. Or more accurately, people piss me off.
A warm breeze straight off the sea rolls in and blows the bottom of her dress. The hem lifts a few inches, just above her mid-thigh. She doesn’t make a move to pin it back down, rather trusting that the wind isn’t strong enough to lift it completely.
I stare at her soft skin covering those maddening legs. How many times I’ve imagined those in my bed, wrapped around my back. Back in her room at the cabin, I felt so close to that fantasy that my body started to react violently. I was painfully hard, chest tight, pulse racing and hands clenching. I wanted to grab her and throw her on the bed. I wanted to peel that dress off her body and worship her with my hands and mouth before I slipped inside her.
But she stepped back just in time. My muscles, once locked in place, had just about sprung free to let me take her. My heart died when she moved.
“Should I be hoping the wind picks up?” I say, breaking the silence.
Her head rolls, and she glares up at me. “When on the lads’ weekend, act like a lad?”
True. I’ve never been a full-on pervert like my friends, not openly anyway, but there are many rules I’d break for Matilda Drake—all of them if we’re being honest.
I shrug as we continue to walk into the woods, the darkness starting to swallow us. “What can I say? It’s the legs.”
She laughs and bumps my arm with hers, her whole body leaning into mine, sending a bolt of electricity down my spine.
“All the running is paying off, I see.”
“You run just for me?” I tease.
“You wish, Linc.”
Yes.
Tilly stops suddenly and bites on her damn lip again. When she did that in the bedroom, I almost lost control.
“What?” I ask.
“Are we going into the woods? Because that’s kind of creepy at night.” She crosses her arms. “I mean, I’ll go, but you’d better be prepared to protect me with your life because, if a bear or a serial killer chases us …”
“A bear or serial killer?” I say. “Wait, now that you mention it, Jack did say the bear in the woods is particularly fierce, and that serial killer who lives up in a tree hasn’t murdered for days.”
She deadpans, her head tilting to the left and eyebrow arching. “If that happens, you’re going to be sorry.”
“I’ve got you, Tilly, whether it’s a bear or axe-wielding psycho.”
Her face brightens, a smile stretching wide. “I like that she has an axe.”
“She? Our fictional serial killer is a woman?”
“Of course.”
Right. Of course.
She starts walking again, and this time, her pace is a little quicker. “It’s so pretty here. The sea and a forest. What more could you ever want?”
“You still walk the forest?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not since we last went. Have you?”
“No, it’s not the same.” I look over to the sea. “The sun is almost down. We should get back soon.”
“You don’t want to get lost in the dark with me?”
I would do anything with you.
“As long as you don’t go all shrieky on me because there’s no light.”
Shrugging, she replies, “I prefer the dark.”
“The dark isn’t you, Tilly.”
“Huh?”
“You’re light and warm. You’re the sun.”
“What are you?”
My laugh is void of humour. “I’m a fucking eclipse.”
“Not to me, you’re not.”
Her eyes, the colour of whiskey and forever, peer into mine, and I see it. To her, I’m not this dark monster responsible for her brother’s death, not anymore.
“Tilly,” I murmur as warmth spreads through my body.
“Please don’t think of yourself like that. You’re actually all right,” she teases, breaking through the intensity of the moment.
“I’m all right?”
“Mostly,” she replies with a shrug.
“Wow, thanks.”
She smiles up at me. “Seriously though, stop overthinking how bad you are because it’s bull. There are a lot of people who are glad you’re here. We wouldn’t all be together like this if you weren’t. Mel, Ian, Hanna, and Jack hang out regularly, but I don’t. You’re the one who has brought us all back together.”
“Thanks,” I reply, clearing my throat.
She bites her lip like she’s not done, but she doesn’t know how to ask something.
This should be good.
“Linc?”
I hesitate. “Yeah?”
“You know we’re glad you’re back, but how do your parents really feel about you being here?”
I would say something sarcastic, but she’s clearly not asking how they feel about me coming to the cabin, and now is not the time. The fact that she’s willing to discuss my parents at all is a miracle, so I’m not ruining it.
“They were apologetic, but once they went through the figures, they knew it had to be me. There was no other choice.”
“Are they in trouble financially?” Her eyes widen a fraction.
“Without the mortgage on top of rent, they will be fine.”
“Good,” she replies quietly.
“I don’t really know what you’re asking here, Tilly. They have no ill feelings toward anyone or the town, but they understand that they’re not welcome there. Not after they fought so hard to keep Stanley out of prison.”
My words drive a wedge between us. Tilly tenses at the mention of my brother and how he served no time for killing her brother, and I instantly regret bringing that up.
“Yeah. Well, that was …” She shakes her head, not knowing how honest to be in front of me.
“You can say whatever you want. I’ll probably agree. Stanley is my brother, but I know there is a lot he needs to take responsibility for, and my parents did nothing but let him diminish his part in it.”
“Did you ever consider staying when your family left?”
“No,” I reply, my chest gripping at the memory of Tilly screaming at me to go to hell.
When my parents told me we were leaving, I wanted to stay. I could have. I thought maybe, in time, Tilly and her parents would forgive me, but in that moment, I knew I had to go.
“You wanted to be with your family,” she says as we walk between trees with the sea half-hidden to our left. “That’s understandable.”
“I wanted to make things as easy as I could for everyone. It was right that I left, too. But, although it’s not been straightforward, I’m glad I’m here now. It’s been nice to come back, better than I imagined.”
“Yeah, sorry about the straightforward thing. I didn’t make it very easy for you when you first got back.”
“That’s not on you. You don’t have to make anything easy for me.”
She stops again, this time grabbing my arm, so I turn and face her. “Why not? Because you don’t deserve anything to be easy for you?” she says, reading my mind. Her face is marred by a frown that screams her irritation. “Why are you so hard on yourself, Linc? I know you still feel guilty for what happened, but that doesn’t mean you have to be condemned to unhappiness for the rest of your life.”
“You’re usually the exact opposite of transparent, but right now, I see you, and what you think about yourself is wrong. You are worth caring about, Linc. No one here wants you to hurt.”
“Tilly,” I whisper.
Her words, as much as they hold freedom and peace only she can give, also grate on my skin like sandpaper. I don’t believe her.
How can I be part of Robbie’s death and be worth much?
She places her palm on the centre of my chest, and she might as well have gotten on her knees. My body’s reaction to the contact is brutal. I suck in a breath as my dick swells in a second flat. I ball my hands and dig my fingers into the flesh.
“Please believe that, Linc. There has been far too much pain over the last four years. I hate to think that it’ll never get any better.”
“Is it any better for you?” I ask.
Maybe, if it is, I can follow suit. Her happiness is directly linked with mine, entwined so tightly that I don’t think I’ll ever be free of loving her. The muscles in my forearms scream for release, but if I relax, I’m going to reach for her. I’m itching to wrap my arms around her.
“It is,” she assures me. “Slowly, very slowly, things get a bit better. I don’t know if it hurts less or if you just get used to the feeling.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, closing my eyes so that I can’t see the look on her face. Why did I have to ask that?
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, stepping closer so that her palm is replaced with her chest.
There is no distance, and my dick is throbbing.
“Tilly,” I rasp in warning. You need to step back. “Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who is sorry.”
She smiles sadly. “We’re going to go around in circles forever, aren’t we?”
“I hope not.”
“Can we make a deal? Even if it only lasts this weekend?”
“What’s that?”
“No guilt, no talk of the accident, and no being sorry. I want one weekend of peace, and I want to have fun. Continuing with drinks in the hot tub. I bought a new bikini for this.”
I want to see that bikini right the fuck now.
“Deal,” I tell her. One weekend of being the old us sounds like heaven. I’ll gladly take those two days. “Now, what’s this bikini like?”
She takes a step back, laughing and shaking her head. She’s lighter, her eyes shining bright and mouth in an easy smile. “It’s small and red.”
“Sounds perfect,” I reply, turning around. “Let’s go and get you in it.”
“Wow, you are really working hard on that perverted side.”
I chuckle. “There’s a bad joke in there somewhere.”
Tilly walks beside me as we head back to the cabin. I thought she would want to walk some more even if it’s in silence, but I’m sure not going to argue with getting her practically naked and wet.
“So, did you bring swim shorts, or are you going in the buff?”
“Why? Do you want to see me in my birthday suit?”
She rolls her eyes. “If I say yes, are you going to stop and strip?”
“You go, I go, baby!”
“I like this new you. You’re smiling. Hey, does it hurt your face when you do that?”
“Oh, you’ve gotten funnier, I see.”
“I’ve always been hilarious,” she replies, playfully scowling at me.
We reach the cabin, and she turns to me. “Give me two minutes to change before you come in the bedroom.”
I don’t want to.
Dipping my chin, I reply, “Sure.”
Tilly heads into her room, and I grab a Coke from the fridge. Not drinking doesn’t bother me at all. I couldn’t give a shit what everyone else is doing or drinking. I never have. I lean back against the worktop and wait, my eyes glued to the hallway.
I hear her moving around in the room, closing a drawer and bumping something. Or bumping into something. I should check on her. She might be hurt after all.
“Tilly,” I call, walking the few steps along the hall to her room at the end. “You okay?”
She’s going to be okay, but I really want to see her in that bikini—or preferably, out of it.
“You can come in,” she shouts.
I open the door, and the fucking world stops. Tilly looks up, her hair fanned around her face like a blonde veil. Her body, beautifully toned with curves in all the right places, is partially covered with the tiniest scraps of red material I have seen.
My heart stalls for a fraction of a second before thumping in the confines of my chest. “Shit,” I breathe.
“Huh?” she asks halfheartedly, distracted as she grabs her phone and a hairband from the bed.
She stands, and I get a full view of how stunning she is. The swell of her breasts begs to be kissed. I can’t keep my eyes off the little gap between her legs. Running really has been good for her, not that she wasn’t perfect before.
I swallow hard as my mouth waters.
“Eyes are further north, Linc.”
“And I’ve seen those a million times.”
Jumping forward, she slaps my chest. I know she’s trying to discourage me from staring, but the leap made her breasts bounce, and my dick swells rock hard yet again.
I lift my hands in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re so beautiful, Tilly.”
Her mouth parts, eyes rounding with surprise at my words. “Linc.”
“My turn to get changed.” I grip the hem of my T-shirt and pull it over my head.
She hasn’t moved an inch, and now, it’s her turn for wandering eyes. Her pupils dilate as she focuses on my chest.
My God, I love you.
I reach for the buckle of my belt, and her eyes bulge.
“Linc!”
“You’re changed already, Tilly. You don’t have to be in here.”
Her mouth pops like she didn’t even consider leaving me to get changed in private.
Snatching her towel, she dashes past me. “See you out there.”
The muscles in my cheeks ache with a grin that won’t settle. I change quickly, eager to get outside and in the hot tub. I wish we had more time, a whole week here, enough time for her to forget that she’s supposed to hate me.
When I’m done, I head out the back, walking slowly along the decking because I need a few extra moments to prepare myself for a wet Tilly.
Jack and Hanna are cuddled up along one side of the tub, and Ian and Mel are opposite with Tilly occupying another. There’s space next to her and a lot of space opposite. I should go opposite, so we both have room, but that’s not an option.
I step in and sit down as blood starts to rush down south. Tilly is at the perfect height to have the top of her breasts just on show, hot water bubbling over the swell of her breasts.
Tilly turns her head and smiles as I’m seated beside her.
33
Tilly
When Linc sits next to me, my heart goes wild.
There was a moment in my room back there. Neither of us was wearing many clothes, and the air was getting thinner, thinner, thinner until I felt like I could pass out.
I sit back against the built-in seat, and my arm presses against his.
“Strip poker tonight, guys?” Ian asks, lifting an eyebrow at Mel.
“You want me naked in front of our friends?”
“I am not playing strip poker,” I say.
“Why not?” Linc asks.
I turn my head and give him a pointed look. “Because I can’t play poker.”
“I’ll teach you.”
“You’ll teach me wrong, so I end up naked.”
Laughing, he tilts his head back. “Damn, you saw through that.”
“Nice try, Reid.”
His pupils dilate, mouth parting. Because I called him Reid? I used to occasionally when we were messing around and teasing each other.
My God, everything about this weekend is exactly like the old days. And it’s only Frid
ay night. Hanna was right. This is what we need. All the blasts from the pasts are filling my empty soul.
I wish we could stay here for longer. When we’re here, like this, it’s so easy to believe that everything is fine, that Robbie isn’t dead, and I can be friends with Linc without feeling bad about it.
“I didn’t take you for a prude,” he teases.
“Don’t try to pull that bullshit on me. I’m not seven, so I’m not going to do what you say just because you tell me you don’t think I will.”
Laughing, he replies, “Busted. What do you plan on doing tonight instead?”
Don’t say you.
Maybe the heat from the hot tub is getting to me?
“Beer and scary movies.”
Hanna groans. “No way. Come on, Tilly. You’re not a sad teenager anymore.”
I glare. “I’m a sad twenty-something, and I will watch people get stabbed.”
“You need help,” she replies. “I hope you don’t think we’re all going to be watching that shit. I don’t care if the blood is fake; it’s scary.”
“I figured you would be playing strip poker with Jack.”
“We’re all playing strip poker, so let’s stop arguing,” Ian says, holding his beer up.
Mel clinks her bottle against his and grins.
I turn to Linc, looking for help since, out of everyone, he is the most likely to want to watch a horror film with me. But he shakes his head, mouth curved perfectly with his signature smirk.
“Oh my God, fine! I’ll play,” I concede.
I’ve stayed firmly in my comfort zone since Robbie died, so maybe it is time to do something I wouldn’t usually.
“Yay!” Hanna cheers. “You won’t be sorry.”
“I already am,” I reply dryly.
When I get out of here, I’m going to put on every item of clothing I brought here with me. I’m not ashamed of my body, and I don’t usually worry too much if I’m showing skin, though I don’t often walk around in the buff. But having Linc here changes this from a game to something much different. Something I sure as hell am not ready to explore or even think about in any kind of detail.
Tonight, he might see me naked, and I might see him naked.
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