Gargoyle Huntress

by Jen Pretty

  The sound of a motorcycle starting caught my attention, and I looked straight down over the edge to see Julian ride out of the parking lot and disappear down a road that passed the front of the hotel.

  I turned back to the room and glanced around again. I had missed something on my first inspection of the fancy room. The room had one more feature that made it extra special.

  A minibar.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I lounged in the deep tub with the jets going and half a dozen empty tiny bottles of alcohol. The bubbles were huge. It was like I was under a mountain. I packed the bubbles into a cone shape.

  “Help, I’m trapped under the mountain,” I said in a super feminine voice.

  “I’ll save you,” one of the tiny bottles said as it marched along the side of the tub. The bottle man jumped and disappeared into the mountain.

  “Oh no! Now, who will save me?” I asked in the high-pitched voice again. It sounded like Olive Oyl from the old Popeye the sailor man cartoons. I loved that weirdo and his fascination with spinach. Spinach is disgusting, but I admired his sacrifice. “In the name of the law.” The giggles started. Soon I had tears running down my face and I could hardly breathe.

  “I’m glad you are enjoying yourself,” Julian said from the previously closed door of the bathroom.

  “Holy shit,” I screamed, trying to cover myself in bubbles. They chose that moment to turn from a mountain into a series of islands. “What are you doing in here? People don’t just walk in on other people while they’re bathing!”

  “Good thing I’m not people then.” He came further in the room and sat on the fancy, button-shaped stool in the corner.

  “Well, I am. So, get out.”

  “I have to tell you something. Though I’m guessing you won't remember it tomorrow.” He sighed, looking at the tiny bottles I had lined up on the side of the tub. I knocked them into the water. “This city has lost all its gargoyles.”

  I threw my hands up, giving up on my bubbles and personal private time. “That could have waited.”

  He lifted one side of his mouth in a grin.

  “Fine, okay. That's good to know. We can get the bad guy in the morning or whatever. I don’t know what you think I can do about this.”

  “Did you order food?” he asked, ignoring my outburst.

  “No,” I said, fishing my empty alcohol bottles out of the tub and dropping them over the side with a clatter. He was silent for a while, so I looked over at him. His jaw ticked.

  “I’ll order room service. You should eat something healthy.” He stood and strode out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. God, he was weird. I hit the drain and climbed out, careful not to slip and kill myself. I found a hair dryer and dried my wet hair, then pulled it up into a ponytail. Folded neat and tidy on the bathroom counter was a super fluffy robe that was as soft as a bunny. I pulled it on and tucked the last bottle from the mini bar into the pocket.

  Out in the room, it smelled like food: garlic and meat. I hadn’t eaten steak in a long time, but I knew what it smelled like.

  The small table with two chairs displayed plates of food and wine.

  “Yesss,” I said, as I slid into the chair across from Julian. He cut off tiny pieces of steak and ate them while I sawed off hunks and gnawed on them. “What are you reading?”

  He finished chewing and set down his knife and fork. “This is the local paper. Some humans noticed the missing gargoyles and the paper ran a story on it. One of my brothers is on the city council and convinced the mayor to make a statement he sent the gargoyles for cleaning and repair.

  “You have brothers?”

  “We all consider ourselves to be siblings,” he replied, returning to his meal.

  I took another bite of the steak. I had no siblings. It seemed weird to have a bunch. “Tell me about half-demons.”

  “Some other time, maybe.”

  I finished chewing the mouthful of food. “Why?”

  “Because you’re intoxicated and I don’t like to repeat myself.”

  I rolled my eyes, then picked up my wineglass and took a big gulp. I coughed and gagged. That was not wine.

  “Cranberry juice. Excellent source of vitamin C,” he said, that tiny grin on his face. Fucker. That was tart and gross. I set down my glass with a click and went back to my dinner.

  “Don’t forget to eat your salad.” He pointed to it with his fork like I hadn’t seen the limp leaves sitting there covered in some vinegar dressing that crept across the plate to contaminate my steak. I used my fork to make a little gap between the salad and steak.

  Julian snorted. He could eat his salad and drink his cranberry juice. I was living my best life and eating the best foods. I pulled the last tiny bottle of alcohol out of my robe pocket and chugged it.

  If anything else happened, I don’t remember.

  The next morning, I woke up to someone moving around in my room. I rolled over suddenly to see who it was and fell off the bed — banging my head off the bedside table. That wasn’t right. I was on the wrong side. There should be a wall here. Then I remembered I was in the fancy hotel with Julian, the half-demon who thought I could stop the veritable apocalypse of missing gargoyles and demons. “Shit.” I rubbed my head where a lump was forming and pushed myself up onto the bed again.

  “Get up, they found a stash of gargoyles and need help to catch them.” Julian’s voice sounded much too awake.

  I rolled back off the bed. One eye squinted open to look around for my pants.

  “Here,” Julian said as black leather hurled through the room to smack me in the face.

  “Owe. Come on. I need at least a minute to wake up before things attack me.” He didn’t reply. I pulled the pants on under the fluffy robe and then grabbed a shirt and bra from the suitcase and stumbled into the bathroom to change.

  After an epic battle with the complicated sports bra and some cursing, I exited the bathroom, ready to do my thing.

  “Where’s my net?”

  Julian smirked and handed me the fishing net.

  He laughed, but that thing had caught its fair share of gargoyles. The bigger ones didn’t fit, but they were slow and easier to catch by hand.

  I pulled on my boots and we were out the door and down the road on his motorcycle in moments. My lack of coffee made my eyes heavy, but I would rally and catch some noisy little stone shits.

  Julian drove us down along the waterside past some dilapidated warehouses and a creepy abandoned school. Haunted level of creepy. Vines covered the front, and dead pines stood like soldiers lining the walkway. Their yellowed branches like arms reaching out to snag the hair of some unsuspecting person who walked too close, with a fabulous updo that took them hours to perfect, thereby ruining that someone's whole day.

  He pulled up to the front of the abandoned school, because of course he did. The rumble of the bike gave way to utter silence. I slid off the bike with a near perfect dismount and grabbed my net from the saddlebag on the back.

  Scanning the area. I didn’t see gargoyles lingering around, but the sun wasn’t over the horizon yet, and the early dawn light hardly helped. I turned on stealth mode and crept along the dead trees, mindful of my hair in its ponytail. The trees were empty of gargoyles so I moved in toward the building. A chain ran through the handles of the front doors, but someone broke the glass out, leaving the top half a gaping hole that any little stone jerk could fly through.

  I leaned forward to peek through the open door, listening for the telltale grumble of gargoyles.

  “You want help?” Julian said, making me jump and spin.

  “What is wrong with you?” I whisper yelled. “Shhh.”

  He raised his hands in surrender, but his lip ticked up.

  I shook my head and turned back. Probably never hunted a gargoyle in his life. Noob. I leaned back through the broken window. No gargoyles in sight, so I jumped, aiming to do a fabulous swan dive through the opening, landing in a tuck, so I could roll back to my feet. That w
as what I meant to do, but the front of my pants snagged on the window frame, hanging me with my feet up in the air. I cursed and wiggled, trying to unhook myself without losing my pants.

  I heard a ping that sounded like a chain breaking. The door I was hanging from slowly swung opened. I was no longer hanging in the school but back out on the walkway.

  A dark chuckle rang through the alcove, and I looked up to find Julian standing there watching me like this was a spectator sport. I swung my fishing net at him. I still clutched it despite my predicament, but he was just out of reach. Too bad, I was at the perfect height to sack him.

  “Stop swinging that, and I’ll help you,” he whispered, stepping in and lifting me bodily off the door. He spun me upright and set me on my feet, still grinning.

  “You could have mentioned you could break a steel chain,” I whispered.

  He raised his eyebrows again. What was it with this guy?

  I led the way into the school, tiptoeing to listen for the familiar grumble. We passed an empty classroom where papers were all over the place, but there were no gargoyles. I was creeping past the girls’ bathroom when I heard a sound. I froze and listened. When I heard it a second time I darted into the darkness of the washroom. Near the ceiling there was a small window partially blocked by the dead trees outside. It only let in a little light, but it was enough to see the little demon hopping along the top of the bathroom stall walls. I ran forward, net ready. I banged into a stall as he jumped to the next; this happened a few times before I got ahead of him. His talons left scores on the tops of the metal walls. When he found himself cornered, he tried to take flight, but I was ready for him. I dove for the little bugger.

  My net swished through the air and snatched him like a pop fly at a baseball game. “And the crowd goes wild.” I did a victory dance while the demon in the net thrashed about helplessly. And that was how the demon’s friend got the upper hand. He jumped out from his hiding place beside a toilet and latched onto my calf. His stone teeth tore through my leather pants and skin then shook my leg, knocking me on my ass. I screamed and kicked at the stone devil with my other foot. But before I could get a good kick in, Julian grabbed it by the feet and lifted. Its teeth slid out of my skin with one last snap of its stone jaws. It was a good thing there weren’t any kids around because my cursing reached new heights. When I felt better, I checked on the demon in my net. He had given up his fight for freedom and settled. My calf was bloody and bruised, but my leather pants covered down to my shoes, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

  “Bad gargoyle!” I pointed my finger at the demon still hanging by his feet in Julian’s grasp. The gargoyle grumbled and wiggled, but without much enthusiasm.

  “That was impressive,” Julian said.

  “Yeah, well, it's not my first rodeo. Where do these things go anyway?”

  “Alric asked us to bring them to him and he will contain them until we figure out what’s going on.”

  “Who is Alric?” I asked, dusting off the seat of my pants.

  “My brother. He sometimes assists the sculptor who manages this area.”

  “Great, more demons,” I said with plenty of sarcasm. “Let’s go.” There was no point staying here since our hands were full, but we would have to return and check the rest of the school later. There could be more stone bastards hiding in the little boy's room.

  We walked out the front door and I stopped. I looked at the demon in his hand and the one in my net and then back at his motorcycle.

  . “This is why you should drive a car.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I ended up holding a demon in each hand, one by its leg and one in my net, while perched precariously on the seat of the motorcycle. I was holding on with nothing but my legs that were still weary from the day before. We are all lucky I didn’t die. Well, I’m lucky. Julian drove slowly, but it was still terrifying.

  “You can stop screaming now,” Julian said, taking the net and stone goblin from my hands.

  I slid off the bike, giving him a stare that should have killed him, then retrieved my net and gargoyle captive.

  We were now in front of an upscale house in the suburbs of this city I hadn’t caught the name of. The houses sat on large green lots with tidy, weeded flowerbeds. Every home had the same colour scheme and the same trees, but otherwise, the houses were grandiose monstrosities.

  We walked up to the door as the sun finally cleared the horizon. People would be up soon. Julian knocked on the door, and a man who looked shockingly like him answered it. This man knew how to smile though; his perfect white teeth accented his tanned skin.

  “Come in, Julian. I see we aren’t completely out of gargoyles after all.” The man took Julian’s gargoyle, holding it by the foot as if it was a putrid sock from a gym bag. I could sympathize; I used a net for a reason. He looked me up and down, his smile never wavering. “This is the best hunter in the northeast?” He said it without inflection, but I felt like it was a dig at my appearance. I glanced down, but everything looked all right.

  “I saw her catch that one this morning. She’s faster than expected,” Julian replied as if I were a race horse he was proud of.

  “Hmm,” Alric wore a fine suit, making him look more like a butler than a half-demon. His entire air was that of an aristocrat. I noticed Julian took on an even more proper tone of voice.

  “Name’s Harlow. Nice to meet you. Here’s your trash.” I held the captured gargoyle toward the half-demon, Julian-twin, and turned back to real Julian. “Can we go now?”

  “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Alric.”

  “Yeah, Julian mentioned it. I want to go get coffee and breakfast though. I saw a place we can stop on the way over.” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder hopefully.

  “Please come in. My chef is on duty,” Alric said.

  I eyeballed this new half-demon. I wasn’t keen on being outnumbered by them, but Julian snatched my net, which still contained the gargoyle and walked in the door. I wasn’t about to abandon my net here. I had been through a lot with it. I stomped in the door, and Alric shut it behind me.

  “Excellent. I’ll have Francois whip you up a vegetarian egg white omelette with a nice cup of herbal tea,” Alric said as he took the gargoyles. I looked back at the door. I could make a run for it, but Julian’s hand wrapped around my arm and dragged me along behind Alric, who led the way into a lavish dining room. The dark wood and burgundy accents made the room moody.

  I sighed, mourning my coffee and greasy sausage on an English muffin. Apparently all half-demons ate like grandpas with high cholesterol and blood pressure.

  “Please, take a seat. I won't be but a moment.”

  “Do you have a first aid kit?” Julian asked before Alric left. “One of them bit Harlow.”

  “Oh, of course. I’ll have Francois bring it to you.” Alric walked out, and the sound of the grumbling gargoyles got further away.

  A man in a white paper chef hat came in and set a white box with a giant red cross on it on the table. He bowed and left again without saying a word.

  Julian sat down beside me and turned my chair to face him. He was way stronger than a human should be. That half-demon side was powerful. He grabbed my leg and tugged off my boot and sock, then rolled up the pant leg exposing my calf that the gargoyle used as a chew toy. The punctures were pretty superficial but stung as he put ointment on them. I hissed when he poked at one of the deeper holes and his lip ticked up like he enjoyed my pain. Jerk. Finally, he wrapped my ankle in gauze and redressed my foot in the sock and boot before pulling my pant leg back down and setting my foot on the ground. It was an intimate thing to do, and I felt weird about it. I was tongue tied and struggled to find words.

  Thankfully, Alric returned. He started up a conversation with Julian that I wasn’t a part of about people I didn’t know. It wasn’t long before the chef in the tall paper hat arrived to deliver my breakfast. And tea. I felt like I had fallen through the earth and landed in Engla
nd. I drank my spot o’ tea. At least it was hot, and if I tried hard, I could pretend it was coffee. No, I couldn’t, but whatever.

  “So, where’s your hunter?” I asked, interrupting whatever Alric and Julian were talking about.

  Alric looked at me a moment like he had forgotten I was there. He shook his head and said, “I’m afraid our hunter fell off the old church steeple a few months ago.”

  “Oh shit. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Alric gave me a tight smile. “Thank you.”

  They went back to talking about some boring political stuff, and I ate my egg white vegetarian omelette that was not too bad once I covered it in ketchup. I was using the last of my nine-grain whole-wheat toast to scrape the ketchup off my plate when Julian stood.

  I stuffed the toast in my mouth and tuned back into the conversation.

  “Let me know if we can be of any other help. I think we’ll take a last look in the old school, but then probably hit the road to get some driving in before sundown,” Julian said.

  “Very well, I hope you find what you are looking for before the demons ruin the world.”

  With those hopeful words, he saw us to the front door. “Thanks,” I said, despite the fact he fed me the worst bits of food available to humans. Len taught me manners in the pizza parlour.

  “You are quite welcome.” Alric handed me my trusty net as I walked out the door.

  With that, we were off. My hands wrapped firmly around Julian’s waist, we wove back through town and up to the school.

  A thorough check revealed no more rogue gargoyles, so we returned to the hotel and packed our things.

  “Did Alric have any clues about where the gargoyles are going?” I asked as I stuffed my dirty clothes into Julian’s duffel bag.

  “Were you not listening?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “You two were droning on for hours. How was I supposed to hear everything you said?”