All or Nothing: A Trust No One Novel

by Dixie Lee Brown

  There was one thing she could do to let Joe know she appreciated what he’d done. She could allow herself to trust him… maybe.

  Monday, 6:00 am

  CARA WAS ALREADY awake and dressed when Joe knocked at first light.

  “I’ll meet you there.” A few minutes later, she joined him in front of the house where he leaned against a wall, stretching his hamstring.

  “Good morning.” She smiled.

  He hesitated slightly. “Morning. How are your sore muscles?”

  “Great.” She flexed her arms and legs. “That must have been some ointment.” She fell in beside him to stretch.

  As she caught his sideways glance, Cara hid a bemused grin. She’d caught him off guard. He didn’t know what was up and, if she read him correctly, he was suspicious as hell. Why wouldn’t he be confused? Her behavior had been unpleasant, to say the least, since the moment they met. Throw in a little common courtesy and he probably thought she was lulling him into a false sense of security so she could run away.

  “We’ll go five miles today.”

  “Only five?” She expected him to increase the distance.

  “We’re staying closer to the house.”

  Cara’s gaze snapped to his face, but he turned away before she could search his eyes. Something was wrong. She sensed his apprehension, and it was more than just her being nice to him for a change. Why wouldn’t he tell her? He said he wouldn’t lie to her, that he’d answer her questions. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions. Maybe it didn’t concern her.

  When he called Dillon to run with them, fear stiffened her spine. Joe wasn’t fooling her. Something had changed overnight and, for whatever reason, he wanted the dog’s keen sense of smell and hearing with them outside the fence today. Obviously, he didn’t want her to worry, and he was willing to lie about it. Not a good sign.

  “Is anything wrong?” She studied his face.

  The look he gave her was expressionless. “Nope. Dillon goes with me now and then. He gets antsy cooped up in here.”

  She glanced quickly away as anxiety crept through her, but worse was the uncertainty and disappointment. He went back on his word. Why did that hurt so much? She kept coming back around to the same thing. She’d never met a man who didn’t lie to her. Not even Charlie.

  They ran hard. The sun was peeking over the mountains as they climbed the porch steps afterward. The hearty aroma of sausage and eggs met them at the door. Cara headed for the stairs.

  Joe stopped her with a hand on her elbow. “You okay?”

  “I’m good. Your ointment worked wonders.”

  “I’m glad, but that’s not exactly what I meant. You’ve been pretty quiet this morning.”

  “By quiet, you mean I didn’t demand to know why you wanted to stay closer to the house and why Dillon went with us this morning. I’m not stupid, Joe. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. I thought maybe if I trusted you, you’d see fit to share. So… this is me trusting you. If it bothers you, I can easily go back to being a bitch.”

  “Don’t. You’ve been through hell and learned to act and react in certain ways. That doesn’t make you a bitch.” He paused, his gaze playing over her face. “Thank you, for trusting me. I promise you won’t be sorry.”

  She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’d conveniently sidestepped the issue at hand. “I’m already sorry.” She turned and ran up the stairs.

  Chapter Thirteen

  * * *

  Monday, 8:05 am

  THE DINING HALL was empty by the time she’d showered, dressed, and made it downstairs. Irene was clearing away dishes, preparing to take the leftover food back to the kitchen. The older woman smiled as Cara stood in the doorway.

  “Good morning. Have you had breakfast?”

  “No, but that’s okay. I can get something later.”

  “Stop being so polite. Come with me to the kitchen. I just made a fresh pot of coffee, and I’m about to have my breakfast. Join me. It’ll give us a chance to talk.”

  The invitation sounded sincere, so Cara balanced a stack of dirty dishes and followed her.

  “You have to be careful, arriving late for a meal around here. With this crew, there’s always the chance there won’t be anything left.” She smiled good-naturedly as she poured Cara a cup of coffee then threw sausage patties on a large grill and cracked eggs beside them.

  Cara looked around for something to keep her hands busy while Irene cooked. She deposited her stack of dirty plates next to the sink, ran the water until it was hot, then attacked the pile of dishes, rinsing and placing them in the dishwasher.

  Irene smiled. “I see you’re a little like me, can’t stand to be idle. Work is good for a body and keeps the memories in their proper place, but you also have to learn to be comfortable when it’s just you and the quiet.”

  Cara glanced over her shoulder. Did the woman have any idea how close to home her words had come?

  Irene filled their plates and carried them to the table. “Come and eat while it’s hot.” She poured more coffee in their cups.

  “How did you come to work for Joe?” Cara dug into her breakfast.

  A bittersweet smile washed over Irene’s face. “You may have noticed Joe collects strays. I’m one of them. Me, Tyler, Walker, Rayna, and now you, I guess. Sad stories, all of us. Mine started five years ago when I went to Africa. I was a nurse with a medical team, giving aid to victims of an earthquake. Two months after we arrived, rebels attacked our aid station. They killed everyone but me and our surgeon—another woman.” Irene paused and stared straight ahead, a faraway look in her eyes. “You can probably guess why they kept us alive.”

  As Cara’s mouth went suddenly dry, she had to try twice to swallow the bite of sausage on her tongue. Following it with a quick sip of coffee, she raised her eyes to Irene’s face. When Cara reached across the table to cover her hand, Irene blinked and looked at their hands as though she just remembered where she was.

  “Her name was Beth. Her father worked for the State Department. He convinced a friend in the CIA to look into it, and they put Joe in charge of the team sent to find us. The rebels somehow caught wind of it. A team of ex-U.S. military on their tails made them feel important. Gave them bragging rights. We disappeared into the jungle and led Joe and his men from Rwanda to Tanzania and into Burundi before he finally caught up. Then he tried the diplomatic way. He had to give it a shot, I suppose, but I could have told him negotiating wouldn’t work.”

  Irene looked right at her, but Cara was sure she was seeing something else entirely.

  “One morning, Beth and I woke to the camp in an uproar. Half a dozen rebels lay dead on their blankets, most with their throat cut.” Irene shuddered and a shadow passed across her face. “The rest couldn’t get out of there fast enough, leaving the camp to Beth and me and the five Americans who wouldn’t give up on us. By then, I was full of hatred. I wanted them all dead. Joe understood, but he wouldn’t let me wallow in self-pity.” She sighed heavily, and a trace of a smile brought a sparkle back to her eyes. “I’ve been here ever since.”

  Cara went around the table and gave her a hug. “You’re an amazing lady.”

  Her smile widened. “Enough about me. Tell me your story.”

  “I’m not sure how it ends yet.”

  “How what ends?” Joe walked into the room, shooting Cara a curious look before going to Irene and giving her a hug. “You’re not telling any of my secrets, are you?”

  “Poor Joe.” She winked at Cara. “Thinks he’s some dark, mysterious man. I keep telling him a woman can see right through him.”

  “Irene, you wound me.” Joe held his hand to his heart.

  Cara laughed at the hurt expression he feigned.

  “Since I have no secrets, I guess I won’t tell you what your friend, Phil, at the hardware store said about you the last time I was in there.” His teasing smile rested on Irene warmly, and he barely jumped back in time to avoid her foot, aimed at his shin.


  “That’s my cue to leave. Let’s go, Cara. We have work to do.”

  He turned to leave, then swung around Irene’s chair and kissed her cheek from behind. Cara was surprised by a sharp pang of envy.

  She thanked Irene for breakfast and followed Joe out. “What masochistic thing do you have for me to do today?”

  “Call Sinclair. He’s left several messages on your phone. I don’t think he believes you lost it.”

  Cara’s stomach lurched. The thought of speaking to her brother, knowing what he’d done, sickened her. It shouldn’t be that hard, but everything had changed now. Brian was a stranger. She’d rather climb the high ropes course than pick up that phone.

  In Joe’s study, he took a seat behind a large oak desk. A black leather couch was against the wall to the left, facing cathedral-style windows with a view of the lake and the mountains in the distance. Two matching chairs sat in front of the desk.

  He motioned to one of them and held out her cell phone. “First, you should listen to his messages.”

  Her hand shook slightly as she reached for the phone, and she cursed her nervousness when Joe paused, searching her eyes until she grew uncomfortable and looked away.

  Cara studied the call log. David had called most recently. A chill laced through her. What did he want? Strange Joe hadn’t mentioned him calling. There were a whole slew of calls from Brian. With trembling fingers, she dialed her voice mail and punched in her password. Joe must have deleted some older messages because the first to play was Brian’s from yesterday morning.

  “Hey, sis. I’m starting to worry about you. I’ve checked with everybody I can think of in LA and no one’s seen you. Call me, okay?”

  Brian sounded so normal but, with the next breath, she remembered the tape, Charlie, and why she was here. It couldn’t all be a misunderstanding, could it? She glanced at Joe, who watched her. If Brian was innocent, that would mean Joe lied. She was shocked at the sense of helplessness and betrayal that came with the idea Joe might have deceived her, but she had to let it go as the next message started.

  “Cara? Goddamn it! I’m sick of worrying about you. What makes you think you can just disappear anytime you want? I stuck my neck out for you. I deserve a little more respect than this. If this is how you’re going to thank me, perhaps you can watch your own back for a while. We need to talk.”

  The small hope she’d held out faded away. It was the voice from the tape. The angry, demanding, superior tone he’d used with Charlie. It wasn’t a mistake. It was all true. Cara wanted Brian to be innocent, but this wasn’t even her brother anymore. She felt nothing for him… except anger and shame.

  Aware Joe studied her, she drew in a shaky breath and braced herself as the next message started and David’s silky, smooth voice filled her ears.

  “Cara, I guess you know what Brian is up to by now. I can protect you from him if you’ll let me. He’s afraid to cross me. Come home. We’ll start over. It’ll be different. I promise. I know you’re out there in the middle of nowhere in Montana. You’ve hooked up with that mercenary, Reynolds. He’s a dangerous man, but he can’t keep you safe. I’m the only one who can. Forget about this sham of a divorce. We can be happy again. Come home, Cara… or I’ll have to come and get you.”

  As the recording ended, she gasped for air, couldn’t get enough, and tried again. She stared helplessly at Joe. He swore, jumped up, and sprinted around the desk. Her hand shook as he pried the phone from her fingers. How did David know where she was? Standing, she stumbled to the window, clasping her hands together to stop their trembling. She stared out the glass, David’s image filling her mind, his face twisted in rage.

  David bellowed her name from down the hall, his voice slurring in his drunken frenzy, sending shards of terror through her heart. She wanted to run, to hide, but it was futile. He would find her. He always did. He would drag her back… and then he’d make sure she couldn’t run again.

  Monday, 9:22 am

  DAMN IT TO hell! That bastard, Dennelli, must have called again. There’d been several messages from him over the past three days, but Joe had deleted them, choosing not to worry Cara. Why didn’t he check the damn phone before he handed it to her?

  Joe listened to the message and then hurled the cell phone against the wall. “Son of a bitch!” He’d screwed up, and now she’d pay the price. Nothing he could say would make it any better. Joe swore again and then stopped himself. Losing his temper would only make matters worse. She stood in front of the windows; her arms were wrapped around her as though trying to hold herself together. She appeared to be losing the battle.

  The hell with this. He wasn’t going to stand by and watch her go through it alone. He walked up behind her and laid his hand on her shoulder. When she turned halfway to look at him, he pulled her into his arms. She melted against him as his arms tightened around her. No words passed between them.

  Of its own accord, his body reacted to her closeness, almost immediately tightening, growing hot, and causing him no small discomfort while he held her gently until her trembling stopped.

  Then, when he couldn’t stand the aching any longer, he pushed her back a step, his hands on her shoulders. “God, I’m sorry, Cara. I should have checked the damn messages.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “He’s an ass, but you shouldn’t have heard that message.”

  “How does he know where I am?”

  “A man with his power and resources can get information. I may have underestimated him to this point. It won’t happen again.”

  She stepped away from him. “I have to leave. If he comes here, someone will get hurt. I can’t live with that.”

  “At least here you’re not alone.”

  “That’s the point. What if Irene or Rayna gets hurt? This is my fight.”

  “He’s bluffing. If he knows where you are, he also knows what a heavily armed camp this is. He can’t come in here and take you by force. He wants you to make it easier for him. Don’t give him what he wants. You said you trusted me. Damn it, start acting like you do.”

  She paced back and forth across the room. Occasionally, he caught her watching him. Was he getting through?

  This was driving him crazy. “For God’s sake, will you please tell me what you’re thinking?”

  She stopped her nervous movement and stared at him. “I do trust you. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but I’m the one he’s after. He won’t give up.” She threw her arms in the air and started pacing again. “The divorce was just to distract me. He never intended to honor it. I see that now. He was just letting me stumble through for his entertainment, hoping I’d let my guard down.” She stopped again and her eyes met his. “Now he knows who you are and thinks I’ve sought you out for protection, he’s ending the game. If someone gets in his way, he won’t care how many people die, as long as he gets what he wants in the end. I’ll be dead twenty-four hours after he gets his hands on me. That’s the good news, because death will be preferable to the hours before that. Don’t think for a minute I wouldn’t rather stay here, but I can’t. Don’t you see how selfish that would be?”

  “Bullshit! This is what we do. We’re not just playing soldier here. These men and women know how to fight. They live for a chance to fight. They’ll be mad as hell if they find out there could have been a good skirmish and I let you get away. Hell, most of us are adrenaline junkies. We don’t really feel alive unless someone is trying to kill us.” Joe took a few steps toward her.

  “I know you’re worried, but Rayna can take care of herself. Charlie made sure of that. Irene sleeps with a loaded gun under her pillow. She told you her story. What do you think that woman would do to me if I let you leave under these circumstances? It wouldn’t be pretty.” Joe allowed himself a small smile, but she kept glaring at him.

  “This has to end, Cara. Let me help you.”

  She drew a deep breath, and her chin came up in that way he’d come to appreciate. “You’re right. It’s time I ma
de a stand. This is the best chance I’ll ever have.”

  Relief flooded through him and he smiled. “I’ve never heard you say I was right before.”

  “It’s never happened before.” A tiny smile turned up the corners of her lips.

  For a moment, all he could think about was touching her again, but he forced himself to step behind the desk instead.

  “What will happen now?”

  “First, we’ll find out when he’s coming. Then we’ll make sure we’re ready.” He opened a desk drawer, pulled out a cell phone, and held it out to her. “Use this for the time being. I don’t recommend calling any friends, but if you do, this one can’t be traced. I’ll be able to get in touch with you, and if you need me, I’m number one on speed dial.”

  “Do you still want me to call Brian?”

  “Later. Ty,” Joe called in a loud voice. Tyler appeared at the door. “Get Cara some camo gear, some shells, and a holster for her 9mm. Then take her down to Walker.”

  “Walker?” Tyler shot a surprised glance at him.

  “He’s the best trainer we have. His methods may be a little extreme, but he gets results, and that’s what Cara needs.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  * * *

  Monday, 10:10 am

  OUTFITTED IN CAMO pants and an olive green T-shirt, with a fully loaded handgun stuck in a holster on her hip, Cara felt ridiculous. She followed Tyler across the compound, stopping to let Dillon out of his kennel. The dog danced around her excitedly and then fell in beside her. When they reached the building that housed the gym, Tyler held the door open for her. She stepped inside and studied the tall, lean man, about Joe’s age, who stood in the center of the mat closest to the door. His shoulder-length black hair and scruffy beard, combined with worn jeans and a tattered utility vest, reminded her of the homeless men who somehow survived on the streets of Portland.

  She’d never seen this man before, but Irene had mentioned his name. Walker was another of Joe’s strays.