Years of Summer: Lily's Story

by Bethanie Armstrong

  I saw Brianna coming across the quad and Dave stood up to greet her. “Is anybody ready for dinner?”

  In chorus, “Yeah.” We all got up off the ground and shook out our blankets. We walked back into the dorm and everyone followed Chelsea and me to our room, because it was the closest. We dropped off the blankets and pulled out our ID’s for dinner. Jace took my hand again, as Brianna and Dave took hold of each other’s hand too and of course Ty and Chelsea. It gave me warm fuzzy feelings inside knowing that all of my friends seemed very happy, and for the first time in months, I did too. I guess it was the spring weather that brought out the closeness of everyone. I knew one thing though—I never wanted it to end.

  Chapter 4

  None of us went home that weekend because Jace and Dave’s fraternity was having a cookout after the intramural games, and they invited several of us from the sorority, actually whoever stayed that weekend. We had a blast. It was an unofficial mixer. We all just had a good time.

  Later that night Jace walked me back to the dorm, and right before I walked into the main door he stopped me. “Lil what are you going to do when you get back to your room?”

  “Probably get a shower and read my book some. Why?”

  “Could I persuade you to come on a walk with me instead?”

  “Yeah, just let me go grab a jacket and meet me at the side door.”

  “Wait, here, you can wear mine.” He proceeded to take off his pullover jacket.

  “But Jace, then you’ll get cold.”

  “Trust me; I am very hot-natured. My long-sleeve shirt will be plenty. Now come here and let’s get this on you because right now it’s still warm.”

  I walked back down the steps to him and he pulled the jacket over my head and pulled my hair out of the back, rather slowly. “You know you have really pretty hair. It’s really thick and wavy. Is it a dark red?”

  I felt electric currents running through my body in the form of chills as he ran his fingers through my hair very slowly pulling it free from the jacket and letting it fall back down my back. I shivered, then he turned me around and I looked into his eyes, because there they were. They were a purple-cast gray which told me he was very happy right now. It might sound pompous, but I could only attribute his happiness to my presence since there was nothing else and no one else around.

  I had to pull myself out of my thoughts for the moment because they were going places that I knew I was not ready for, so I looked down. “Actually my hair is a dark red-brown; kind of like mahogany wood; that would more match the color of my hair.”

  He had not heard a word I said and I started giggling. He looked at me with this shocked expression like he just then realized I had said something and then he grinned and blushed despite himself. “I’m sorry. Obviously, I wasn’t paying attention. What did you say again?”

  “You asked me about the color of my hair.”

  “Right, yeah, dark red.”

  “It’s more of a dark red-brown, more like mahogany wood.”

  “Well, Lily Grace, it suits you perfectly.” I still don’t think he heard anything I said, but at least he was able to cover it well this time. We began walking down the brick sidewalk. I had my arms crossed over my chest and his arm was around my shoulders.

  I wondered. “Am I in trouble or something?”

  “What, why would you think that?”

  “Because you used both my first and middle name. I used to only get that from my mom when I was little and I was about to get into trouble.”

  He laughed. “Oh, well no, you’re not in trouble. I just like the way it sounds together, do you mind if I call you that?”

  “No it won’t bother me; I like both of my names. I always wanted everyone to use both of my names, but no one ever did. But you can use Lil or Lily too; I answer to any form.”

  He laughed his jovial laugh that I could see myself getting used to. “Well then I will just mix them up and use whatever I feel like using on any given day.”

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  Again I had to stop my thoughts. I didn't need to get used to it, not now, anyway. Then I started asking myself why I didn’t need to get used to it and couldn’t give myself a good enough reason why, but there was something that gnawed at me. It seemed so natural with him and I didn’t have to put on a front; I had no reason to disbelieve his sincerity. Why was I trying to keep myself from feeling what this was?

  “Lily, you seem like you have a lot on your mind. Please, tell me what it is. I’m here, talk to me.”

  “Jace, please don’t take this wrong, but why are you doing this?”

  “We’re friends; that’s why.”

  “Okay, let me re-phrase this, again just listen, don’t get mad.”

  “I promise I won’t get mad.”

  “Why have you taken such a special interest in me, you’ve done this since before Thanksgiving, when I was still engaged to Chance.”

  I could tell he was starting to get angry and I thought it was towards me, so I cringed away from him and started backing off. I was scared. I was out in the middle of campus at night with no one around. Tears started coming up hot in my eyes. He saw that and came to me and took hold of me. I went stiff, the only defense I ever had with Chance.

  “Jace, please, don’t hurt me, whatever it is I did, I’m sorry, just please let me go back to my dorm. I know you can out run me, just please don’t hurt me.” My eyes were closed; I was barely able to breathe. “Please let go.”

  “Lily . . . sweetie . . . stop, I am not going to hurt you, but I would love to hurt Chance right now.” The last part came out as an angry growl, he was so furious. “Come over here and sit with me, and please calm down, I swear I won’t hurt you.” My breath hitched, and I opened my eyes, still wary, as I let him pull me over to the picnic bench on the quad of the education building.

  He wiped the tears from my face. “There is something you need to know Lily bell (new name, he had a ton of them), and the problem is I don’t know if I can get through it without wanting to rip Chance’s head off, so forgive me ahead of time if I go ballistic. I promise I won’t hurt you. The other problem is that, I know what I’m about to tell you is going to hurt you more than what you have been led to believe.”

  My eyes met his for a moment and it was like I read his mind. I gasped. “He planned it, didn’t he; he planned it down to the most minute detail didn’t he. He wanted to hurt me.” I couldn’t breathe. “He was planning to rape me, to prove he was in control, when I wouldn’t give in he hit me. Dave didn’t just happen by, he was looking for me. Jace how many people were looking for me? Chance tried to get me to follow him somewhere else.” Jace just stared at me, anger was pulsing from him; he didn’t want to say anything. I went at him; I knew he was keeping something from me.

  “Jace! Tell me! How many people were looking for me?”

  He hesitated. “Eleven, plus me and Dave.” I started hyperventilating, I realized then how close I was to possible death, but . . . I looked at Jace and he gave me his full attention. “Something kept telling me not to follow him off where he wanted to go, so I was insistent that we go back to my dorm or his dorm to talk, which is what he claimed he wanted to do.”

  Jace stared at me. He came instantly back to me and wrapped me in his arms. I didn’t want to be let go. “I am so sorry, Lil. I tried; I tried to find you before it was too late.”

  Tears exploded from my eyes, as I tried speaking through them. "How did anyone know what he was going to try to do?"

  Jace held me tighter, and walked me back towards the picnic table. I was feeling as heavy as pure lead.

  “Jace . . .” I could barely whisper. “Was he planning to kill me?” The truth finally came out.

  He put his forehead to my forehead and kissed mine. Then he put his cheek to my cheek and kissed it too, but he stopped there and then answered my question. “Lily that is what we couldn’t figure out. We didn’t know what exactly he was capable of. That is why Chelsea
called Dave. It must have been in between the time it took for you and him to get back to his dorm, because Dave said Chance was gone and Chelsea couldn’t find you. We were all scared to death. Chelsea took Jillian and Brianna and Hayley and went searching for you. Then John and I and Dave, after he told us that Chance had been bragging about hitting you, making sure you knew he was in control. Then we told Ty and Tuck and then they told Mike and Jake and then Jake told Markus and Shawn. Lil, we were scouring the campus for you. We didn’t know where you were or what had happened; we didn’t know anything, and that was the worst part.”

  “Jace, why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  “Because Chance happened to mention in the shower one night to anyone who was listening, how . . .” Jace started gritting his teeth and his anger started building, so I assumed it was him that heard this first hand.

  I took his hand and his eyes welled, I had never seen Jace come that close to tears before. It ripped at my heart. “How what, Jace?”

  “How he couldn’t wait to see how scared you would get and how he would make you believe you were about to die, because he loved to see fear. It gave him a rush, better than drugs.”

  I started freaking out. That is when I realized that everything had been kept from me to try and keep me safe, so that I would show no fear to Chance, which seemed to make him stronger. That is why Jace kept telling me not to be afraid, because he . . .was afraid for my life.

  I fell apart. He tried to hold me together. I cried for hours. I would calm down and then start thinking about it and I would start up again. He sat there with me until dawn, when I was finally able to completely calm down—holding me and almost crying with me. We watched the sun come up together, I had been up for a solid twenty-four hours, never had I done that before, and Jace stayed right with me and would not let me be alone. He walked me back to my dorm and dropped me at the door. “Get some sleep Lily Grace. I love you!”

  I smiled back at him, “I know, thank you.” I have never felt so emotionally drained than I did that dawning. I didn’t even get a shower. I fell into my bed with Jace’s jacket on. It smelled like him. That was a comfort. I slept the entire day in between nightmares of Chance and dreams of Jace. I could not tell you what went on that day. I heard people coming in and out of mine and Chelsea’s room, she didn’t make it back either last night, but I knew she was safe, because she was with Ty. I thought I heard conversation, a sentence. “I think I will just stay with her.” I still didn’t wake. I lay there not knowing if I wanted to wake, missing someone that had suddenly become so important to me since last night.

  My mind started waking before my body did and I felt a shift in movement on my bed that wasn’t mine. I started moving. I felt stiff and sore like I had been beat up or run a marathon that I had not trained for. I moved gingerly. Then last night started coming back to me. I realized I had been in the cold too long last night, but I didn’t care. The only part I allowed myself to remember was Jace. I was still partly asleep and my thoughts turned into words in my sleep.

  “Jace.”

  I felt a warm hand on my cheek and I heard a tender voice with sweet pepperminty breath. “I’m right here, sweetie.” I slowly opened my eyes, and they hurt, but they rested on Jace’s face and he immediately smiled. It was warm and caring and genuine. “Hey pretty eyes, how are you feeling?”

  “Jace . . . okay. My eyes hurt though.” They felt red and puffy. “How long have you been here?”

  “About two hours. I was waiting on you to wake up.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Four o’clock.” I sat up and realized that I still had on my clothes from yesterday.

  “Wow, I bet I look rough.”

  “Yeah, you kind of do, but in an endearing way. I tell you what. Go get your shower, I know you’ll feel better then and I will leave, you can call me when you get out and get dressed and we will go to dinner. I know you have to be starving.”

  I panicked. “No, please don’t go. Just stay here and wait on me to get through. Please, please don’t go.” I was begging.

  He took hold of my arms carefully. “Lily, calm down. Yes, okay, I will wait on you. Don’t panic.”

  I don’t know why I suddenly felt panicky. I felt like if he left he would never come back and I wanted him to come back; I needed him to come back. I walked into our walk-in closet/dressing room and took off my clothes and pulled on my bathrobe and grabbed my shower basket and towel and washcloth.

  I walked out and he laughed. “Well don’t you look cute?”

  “Promise you’ll stay?”

  “I promise; I won’t go anywhere. I’ll be here when you get back.” He smiled his genuine smile, and I knew I could trust him, no matter what. I walked out the door and down the hall and climbed in the shower.

  It felt so good to have the warm water run down over me and feel like it was cleaning every bad memory and getting rid of the ones that would hurt me, yet very much fill my head with the good memories of the here and now. I showered for thirty minutes.

  By the time I made it back to my room, my bed had been straightened he had put books back on their shelf where they belonged, my school books mostly. He had also pulled me out something to wear. It looked really cute together. Wow, he was good at cooking (found out last night), cleaning and picking out clothes, even for me. Wait a minute. “Jace you went through my clothes in my closet?”

  “Did I do something wrong? If I did, I didn’t mean too. I was just trying to help.” He was really upset that he might have offended me. Definitely something I was not used to.

  I laughed at him. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, I am just not used to someone treating me the way you do.”

  I still had my bathrobe on and he pulled me down into his lap. “Well you should be used to that. I wish I had killed him when I had the opportunity.”

  “Jace, I’m glad you didn’t. I would hate to come visit you in jail, knowing that it was me who put you there.”

  “Lil, you would have been worth it.”

  “Okay, new rule. No mentioning of the past, ever, if it makes either of us unhappy or angry, agreed?”

  “Agreed.” As much as he wanted too, he was sweet enough to realize that after last night’s revelation about Chance that it was going to take more time, so he kissed me on the forehead instead of the lips. “Okay, Lily, get yourself together. I am about to starve.”

  I took the outfit he had picked out for me to wear and went into the dressing room and changed. When I walked back out, I looked at the outfit he had picked out that I had put on. It was more of a date ensemble, than a hanging out around campus outfit. “Jace why do you have me dressed like this for supper at the Caf?”

  He grinned mischievously. “Because Lily Grace, you and I are going to the movies tonight in town. We are meeting up at the Caf with Chels and Ty, and Brianna and Dave. The six of us are going to the movies after we eat. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds like fun.”

  “Well then let’s get going.”

  “Jace I have to put on my makeup, give me about five minutes.”

  “Okay.” Then he sat back down on my bed and watched as I put on my makeup.

  “I know you must be bored, but thank you for staying and waiting on me.”

  “I don’t know where else I would go.”

  We made our way down to the Caf and met up with Ty and Chelsea, and Brianna and Dave. After dinner we went to the movies. I pulled out my money; Jace stuck it back in my purse. “My treat.”

  “Only if you let me get the popcorn.”

  “Okay, fair enough.”

  I really couldn’t tell you what the movie was about; I was too busy trying to battle with myself over whether I should let this go any farther with Jace. Then Jace looked at me and took my hand and everything else went out of my mind. I decided I didn’t care and that whatever happened would happen.

  Chapter 5

  The next two weeks went by uneventful. Jace and I became clo
ser and I found myself falling for him, but I did not want that yet or rather I didn’t want to admit that yet. It was getting harder to be around him because I felt my defenses wavering. Maybe they were supposed to, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to let them go yet. So, I continued to pretend that I didn’t want more from Jace than just a friend, but he never once was upset with me. I appreciated him for that.

  Spring Break, I was excited because I was going to get to go to the beach and also because I was going to be able to see Jace while I was there. Before we left that Friday he gave me the number to his parents’ condo at Seaside. Mrs. Harper decided we all could go to the beach bonfire as long as she and her husband were allowed to attend also. The funny part was that Mrs. Harper knew Jace’s parents and that became even more of a point in our favor, because we were going to be able to stay out at the bonfire until midnight instead of the usual ten o’clock. I couldn’t wait.

  Chelsea, Brianna, and Jillian rode with me. I drove a grand am and it had a pretty big trunk. It was a good thing too; trying to pack four girls’ things for a four-day trip packed my poor little car to the gills. I just prayed we wouldn’t have a flat. Everyone chipped in for the gas and we were off. We stopped for drinks and a snack and gas only once and by the time we made it there it was around six that night. Mrs. Harper and her husband had already begun preparing dinner. After we all found our spots to sleep we went back up to help with dinner. We were having taco salads.

  Four other girls had made it there before we did, Nina and Hayley, Brooke and Jessi. We were each assigned a task to help with dinner. I was in charge of writing names on cups. For some reason everyone always picked me to write things because I was an education major and they most of the time wanted the dot letters that teachers are famous for. Anyone could have done that, but it was always me. We stayed busy for most of the evening and everyone was there by 7:30, so we ate about that time. After dinner we were in charge of cleaning up. We had to put away the food and clean the dishes and things like that. It wasn’t too bad with the twenty of us helping.