MultiDate

by Kirsty McManus

  All I have to do now is get through this meeting with Ariel, Reid and Patrick without embarrassing myself. I can’t help feeling like a pre-schooler pretending to be a grown-up.

  I’m under no illusions about how this will play out. Ariel will not be impressed by my new role on her team, so I can’t imagine she’ll be very friendly this morning. And just to add to the pressure, I’m also meeting Reid Martinez for the first time! I hope I don’t get too star struck. I once met the guy who does the weather on the local news and I could barely get two words out. And I liked him a lot less than Reid.

  I arrive early on Friday morning, running mostly on caffeine. I’m so glad Patrick is going to be here to smooth the way. I know he won’t be around as a buffer all the time, but at least having him present this morning will mean things can’t go too awry.

  Jules is already at reception. I’d texted him on the way home last night to break the news. He gives me a fake frown. “Thanks to you, I’m back on my own out here.”

  “So-rry,” I sing-song with a big grin on my face. “You want to see if I can get you onto the show too?”

  He shakes his head. “No, thank you. Way too much drama for me. I like to watch from afar.”

  “So you’re going to start looking for someone to replace me today?”

  “Probably. But no one will compare to you.”

  “Aw, aren’t you a sweetheart?” I open my handbag and retrieve a cinnamon scroll I especially bought for him. “Here’s something to remember me by.”

  His eyes light up. “Honey, you’re making it harder and harder for me to be okay with you leaving.”

  “I’m not leaving. We can still do lunch sometimes. And you can come and hang out with me and Finn after hours.”

  “Yeah, but it won’t be the same. You’ll be working with the cool kids and you won’t have any time for me.”

  “I’ll make the time,” I promise.

  He waves a hand in the direction of the elevator. “All right, off you go. Start your fancy new life.”

  I give him one last big smile and head over to the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor.

  I’m the first one to arrive, which isn’t surprising, considering the early hour. I open my laptop and read through the notes I made last night. It’s quite feasible Ariel will try and catch me off guard somehow, so I want to be ready for anything. Since I have a bit of time until the others are due, I spend a few minutes looking up how to best navigate meetings where your colleagues might be hostile. Remain firm, but polite is one tip. Bring a bribe is another. Damn. I should have brought coffees for everyone. I only thought of Jules when I was at Starbucks before.

  I hear someone coming down the hall and look up expectantly. Oh my God! It’s Reid! And he’s even better looking in person! I always wondered if famous people develop that magnetic aura over time, or if they were already born with it, and that’s why they became famous in the first place.

  His presence fills the room as he takes a seat opposite me, but he doesn’t make eye contact. He’s typing something on his mobile phone, which is totally fine. I’ll just wait until he’s done.

  I keep reading my notes, but my brain is no longer processing them. I can’t help but surreptitiously study the host of MultiDate. He has a big wide mouth, super white teeth (which he’s showing in response to something he’s reading) and chocolate brown eyes.

  Today he’s wearing a crisp white shirt and a navy blazer. Actually, now that I think about it, he’s almost too handsome. His nails are in better shape than mine. And that hair looks like it requires a good half hour of zhuzhing in front of the mirror each morning.

  Ooh! And what about Jules’s comment about his unusual bedroom habits? I suddenly feel a bit weird.

  After a few minutes, I decide it’s ridiculous for us to be alone in the same room and not talking. I clear my throat.

  “Uh, hi, Reid? I’m Lauren.”

  He looks up for a second and then back at his phone. “Uh-huh.”

  Okay then. Maybe he’s a single focus kind of guy. I’ll wait a bit longer.

  But before I have a chance to try again, Ariel stalks in. She throws herself down into the chair beside Reid and plonks her laptop noisily on the surface in front of her.

  “Morning,” Reid says in a monotone, still not looking up.

  “Let’s get this ridiculous farce over and done with,” she says.

  “Shouldn’t we wait for Patrick?” I ask.

  “Oh, didn’t he tell you? He’s tied up with a prior engagement.” Ariel watches for my reaction, but I don’t satisfy her with one. At least not outwardly.

  “I’m surprised he didn’t let you know, since you’re his new toy of the week,” she says, obviously enjoying knowing something I don’t.

  Sigh. I knew this morning wasn’t going to be easy. I push my laptop to the side so I can still see the screen, but so it’s not blocking the space between us. “No problem. What would you like to do? Reschedule when Patrick can make it? Or continue the meeting? I was only here to listen. If you and Reid want to chat, go ahead.”

  She seems caught off guard. Like she didn’t expect me to be so reasonable. Ha. Notch one up for my Google negotiating tips.

  “Can I just ask how much experience you’ve had in TV?”

  I’m pretty sure she knows the answer to that, but she wants to put me in my place.

  “This will be my first job. I assume Patrick has asked me on as a consultant because I have extensive knowledge of the show as a viewer, and he wants to try something different for this season.”

  “What exactly are you’re trying to achieve here?” she asks bluntly.

  “Ideally, I’d like to contribute to making this the highest-rated season yet.”

  “No, I mean, what are you really doing here?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t follow.”

  “Oh, come on. Did you fuck Patrick to get this job? Are you gunning for my position?”

  “No! To both questions. I really do just want to help out. MultiDate is my favourite TV show. It would be an honour to be a part of it.”

  She snorts. “Okay then. Why don’t you enlighten us with your ground-breaking ideas?”

  This whole time Reid has been completely ignoring us, but he finally looks up with an expression that vaguely borders on curiosity.

  “Are you sure?” I check.

  “Please. Share your wisdom.”

  I know she’s patronising me, but this is the only chance I’m going to get. I mentally curse Patrick for ditching me this morning and putting me in this position. “All right, well, I’ll quickly summarise what I talked to Patrick about. Firstly, I think you should do fewer producer interventions. That’s getting old, and I know from talking with other MultiDate fans online, they feel the same way. And I’m aware casting is probably over, but if possible, I’d recommend picking contestants from as many different backgrounds as possible. That will create the conflict.”

  “You do know we have a little thing called market research that tests these variables?” she says.

  “Okay. Who are you testing?”

  “We set up temporary viewing rooms at various popular locations around the country and pay people to come and watch early footage. We go with the stuff that rates well. And the manufactured drama you and your buddies claim to hate is what our test audiences love.”

  I frown. “Really?”

  “Yes, really. For Christ’s sake, you’re acting like we’re a bunch of amateurs fumbling around in the dark. We know what we’re doing. We don’t need some stupid bimbo coming in and ordering us around.”

  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  “All right, fine. But can I just explain something I learnt in real estate that might apply here?”

  “By all means.”

  “My family ran a really busy office on the Sunshine Coast and we didn’t have time to waste showing our buyers a million different places, hoping that one of them might just happen to be their
dream home. We actually kept a record of all the houses we sold, and also the people who bought them, and we put all the information into a database, sorted by the demographic of the buyer and the common features of each property they purchased. And we found that the same items came up again and again for each type of buyer. Using this knowledge, we could then narrow our selection down to just three properties per buyer, and nine times out of ten, they bought one of those.”

  “Is this supposed to prove how clever you are?”

  “No,” I say patiently. “I’m saying you should maybe try another approach to your market research. Instead of asking people to look at new stuff and assess it, give them what you know they’ll want in the first place, based on what has worked in the past.”

  “You mean just rehash the same old tired stuff? That sounds like a great plan.”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. You look for trends that worked. You obviously know ratings are down at the moment?”

  “Not that I should have to explain anything to you, but there are several factors influencing that, and none of them are things we have any control over.”

  “All the more reason to try a different approach.”

  She sighs. “So what ‘trends’ are you talking about?”

  I open up the document I worked on last night. My strength is my extremely detailed knowledge of each season, and my connection to all the blogs and forums linked to the show. I turn the screen to show Ariel.

  “Here is a list of the top things people have liked and disliked from the last six years of MultiDate. I went on to several forums and blogs where I know the diehard fans congregate, and I read through all the comments to find the ones that kept coming up. These are the results.”

  Ariel squints at the screen. “I don’t have time to read that. Just give me the basic gist.”

  “Well, it mostly confirmed what I liked and disliked about the show. If I was to distil everything into one sentence, it’s that viewers love the fairy-tale escapism aspect, and they hate anything that reminds them otherwise. Oh, one thing I’ve noticed in the last two years is that you actually show scenes where a contestant is talking to a producer, or you see the cameraman filming the action. Massive turn-off.”

  “Our market research participants actually came back saying they liked being able to see behind the scenes,” Ariel says.

  “Well, it’s up to you, but everything I found online said the opposite. At least when it comes to the actual episodes. I think when they say they like seeing behind the scenes, they mean things like bloopers and cut footage. Not actual reality.”

  “All right. Is that all?”

  “Almost. I mentioned this to Patrick already, but viewers especially love it when the show heads overseas. I have all these comments from people online saying they’re booking accommodation at the same venues, which we can use to negotiate even bigger discounts for the studio.”

  “You’ll need them. You know Patrick has been cutting back on the travel budget the last couple of years?”

  “I think we should get him to reconsider. I don’t know where you’re at for this season, since you’re less than two months away from that portion of filming…”

  “We already have tentative bookings in place for several locations around the east coast.”

  “Will you be penalised if you cancel them?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Reid finally pipes up. “If you can convince Patrick to shell out for a round-the-world trip, I’m all for it.”

  “Actually, maybe we can use you to our advantage,” Ariel says. “You’ve clearly hypnotised Patrick with your baby face and red lips. If you can also get him to approve me a fifteen percent pay rise, then I won’t complain about the other stuff.”

  “I’m not sure I have that kind of power,” I say hesitantly.

  “It’s my final offer,” Ariel says firmly.

  “Okay. I’ll see what I can do. Do you want to hear what I have planned for the trip?”

  Ariel checks her watch. “You have two minutes and then I have to go and do some actual work.”

  “All right. I was thinking we have dates on every continent.” I hope Finn won’t be too mad that I stole his idea. But it’s a good one.

  Ariel snorts. “Even Antarctica?”

  “Yep. I was looking into cruises and there are a ton of them. I considered organising a night at an actual station down there, but we’d have to get government approval, and that might take too long on our schedule.”

  Ariel taps her chin in contemplation. “So you’re thinking a famous city on each continent?”

  “Actually, no. If you just do LA or New York for North America, it’s the same as what everyone else does. Why not Canada? And not Vancouver or Toronto. There’s a gorgeous beach town on Vancouver Island called Tofino. If we’re filming at the end of October, it’s really cold, but people still go surfing.”

  Reid seems impressed by this. “I went to Tofino fifteen years ago. Loved it.”

  Ariel wrinkles her nose. “No one cares what you think.”

  “Come on, Ariel,” Reid pleads. “I need a decent holiday.”

  I’m not sure I like Reid’s motivation, but at least he’s on board with my way of thinking.

  “So what do you have in mind for Africa? Sudan?”

  I ignore the sarcasm. “That wasn’t my first choice, mainly because of what’s happening in Darfur, but maybe Ghana?” I open a tab on my browser and show them a beautiful resort in Accra. “I already wrote to them, and they’re willing to consider discounted accommodation in exchange for advertising.”

  Reid whistles low. “Nice place.”

  Ariel gives him a withering look. “Can you restrict your input to intelligent contributions?”

  He holds his hands up. “I’m just saying, the kid’s got good ideas.”

  I smile, spurred along by Reid’s encouragement. “I also thought Uruguay for South America, the Austrian Alps for Europe, and Laos in Asia.”

  Ariel sighs, seemingly in defeat. “All right. Do it.”

  I beam. “Great.”

  “But I still want that pay rise.”

  “As I said, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “And I’m still in charge. You need to run everything by me. No going behind my back or running to Patrick every time I say something you don’t like.”

  I’m so relieved I pretty much got everything I wanted that I will agree to anything right now.

  “Of course.”

  She stands up. “You talk to Patrick about travel and get onto organising accommodation. I’ll send you what we’ve already got and you can see if they’ll refund deposits. I have to go make sure the villa is ready for next week.” She turns to Reid. “Another big day at the golf club for you?”

  “Ha-ha. Actually, I have a benefit to attend later, but this morning I’m meeting with my agent to negotiate next season’s fees.”

  “Good luck,” she says dryly.

  I wonder if he’ll find out there might not be another season after this.

  Ariel and Reid leave the room. I stay for a bit longer, making a spreadsheet of items to action over the next few days.

  I don’t notice Patrick entering the room until he’s almost beside me.

  “Oh, hey,” I say, jumping slightly.

  “Sorry I couldn’t make it earlier,” he says, sounding genuinely apologetic. “I had a bit of a problem with one of my other shows that required urgent attention.”

  “That’s all right. Being the head of a busy studio must be stressful.”

  “You can say that again. How’d you go with the Terrible Two?”

  “Not as bad as I expected.”

  “I knew you’d do well. You want to fill me in on what you discussed?”

  “Only if you have time.”

  He sits down beside me, seeming more relaxed than either Ariel or Reid. Granted, Reid didn’t look particularly stressed, but he didn’t convey an attitude of genuine interest except for when
I mentioned the show heading overseas.

  “We need to talk about the travel budget,” I start.

  “I suspected you might. But I want value for money. The last few years blew way out, and with less return. You mentioned that the show didn’t shoot overseas last year or the year before, yet somehow expenditure was higher.”

  “So if I suggested a round-the-world itinerary, you might be open to it if we could do it on the cheap?”

  He laughs. “How cheap?”

  I show him all my preliminary notes, with the different resorts I’ve already contacted, just in case this very situation arose. I even talked to a few different airlines to see what deal we could get on flights.

  He takes a few minutes to study everything. “It’s still not that cheap.”

  “I know. But…” I show him the sample of comments from one of the show forums discussing their travel based on where the contestants stayed, and also my logic about using them to bargain for further discounts.

  “And you’re sure about this ‘every continent’ thing?”

  “Yes. Surprisingly, Ariel and Reid liked that idea.”

  “I’ll bet Reid did,” Patrick mutters. “He’s such a tight-ass. I’ve never seen him spend a cent of his own money.”

  “But otherwise…?” I prod.

  He rubs his hand through his hair and stares into space.

  “Let’s do it,” he says. “If nothing else, we’ll go out with a bang.”

  “Great. Oh, and Ariel wants a fifteen percent pay rise.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Of course she does.”

  “It was one of the conditions of her agreeing to whatever I wanted to do.”

  He shakes his head. “She’s lucky she has a damn job in the first place with the way she’s been running the show into the ground.”

  “I have faith we’ll turn this thing around.”

  He laughs again. “You certainly have a lot of confidence all of a sudden.”

  “It’s the only way to be.”

  “I suppose it is.” He stands up again. “I’ll leave you to it, then. Let me know if you run into any trouble along the way, but keep in mind MultiDate isn’t my only focus, so I may not be around as much as you need.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll make do.”