Nice Guys Don't Finish Last
Page 18
“Because she’s a boy!”
“But she looks… never-mind,” I laughed as we walked hand in hand. Drag queens were around dressed as old-fashioned celebrities I weren’t familiar with, and most of them were past six feet tall.
“Yes, Cher… I see you,” Ty shouted to one queen as they both bumped hips with each other and Ty swung his locs in the air, as I spotted two Tina & Patti look-a-likes. It was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
I never thought gay people could be so humorous. Flamboyant? Yes… but funny no. There were many cute boys around and Ty pointed to the right.
“There goes your boo.”
“Who,” I asked gazing my surroundings.
“Mother Jeremy with his homeboys,” he said as I noticed Jeremy walking with a slew of guys. He’s the last person I expected to see at pride, and I was torn between speaking and pretending he wasn’t there.
“Hey Delmar,” he spoke as I walked past him.
“Hi Jeremey,” I responded and turned my head. Jeremey is usually a persistent person, but he remained neutral. He walked away in his trade uniform; a polo shirt, cargo shorts & Nike dunks. I began to regret breaking up with him & didn’t want to wear my emotions on my sleeve, so burst into Trina’s “I’m single again” and Ty joined in. I observed Jeremey and realized he shook his head.
“Girl, you crazy for that one,” he laughed.
“Well, I had to show some type of shadiness towards him.”
“When I tell you that you sound like my child,” he laughed and glanced at the guys across from me. “Is that Abdul’s boyfriend over there?”
“That sure is,” I said as my stomach dropped, recollecting the confrontation at Roger’s funeral. I quickly turned around to avoid any drama, but I knew Ty wouldn’t allow that to happen.
“He is really cute, damn.”
“He’s okay. He’s not the nicest person,” I observed Nico interact with the group of people he was with. Two of the girls faces were beat to the Gods with every inch of red lipstick in place. One of the guys standing next to Nico appeared to be a muscle bound hound.
“I wonder who that is with him,” Ty said. “I don’t know but he’s attractive though.” “Yeah he is. They look awfully close though.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” I said as the guy wrapped his arms around Nico’s waist, and kissed his neck.
“Chile, I thought he was in a relationship.”
“Me too,” I said as Nico turned his head my direction and pushed the dude off him.
Lord, why did he have to see me?
“A House is Not a Home Featuring Abdul”
The sun shone on me with cane in hand, and it felt like I was released from prison. After a confinement to a bed for two months, I finally sensed liberation. The smallest things intrigued me as I walked around such as the birds flying & the kids playing football. I wish these legs could budge similar to back in the day.
Man, we take so many things for granted. Who would have thought I’d forget how to walk and start from step A again? But the progression is much better & I will walk around this block a million times if I have to, in order to gain my balance back. I hope Nico is proud of me, opposed to being mad. But if he was really mad, then he would have tried harder to stop me.
“Excuse me, can I have a quarter,” a homeless guy asked, holding a folded cardboard box stating he needed food. Normally, I would walk past beggars when they’d approach me about money. But I felt sorry for him smiling with barely four teeth hanging by a thread. I could only imagine what it feels like to not have any teeth nor clothes to maintain on your back or home to live in. I’d go crazy without any of these things, and visiting Iraq allowed me to see that. I was able to humble myself & give back to those in need of food & water.
“Here you go, man,” I said handing the guy a five dollar bill from my pocket.
“Awww, thank you sir.”
“Anytime, now make sure you buy yourself a bite to eat, man.” I stared at him hoping he would not spend the money on drugs, and realized that beforehand it was in my control to even give him money, after it’s placed in his hand it was out of my control. I kindly walked away with a sense of accomplishment from giving to the less fortunate.
My legs began to cramp & I knew it was time for me to get back in the house, but fire trucks & ambulance were everywhere. I suddenly saw smoke coming from Paca Street. On-lookers stood outside as firefighters yelled for everyone to stand back, and I realized the fire was coming from my apartment building. My heart dropped along with my cane as I noticed the fourth floor go up in flames. I tried to run in the building but was pushed back.
“Sir, you can’t go in there,” the firefighter said.
“But my house is on fire, that’s my stuff. My dog is in there, LET ME GET MY DOG,” I yelled as the firefighter pushed me back and asked me to stand aside. What a nightmare, why can’t I catch a break?
The firefighters yelled at each other in the air hosing the fire out, as I stood there in disbelief that I was now--- homeless.
“Can’t We All… Just Get Along Featuring Nico”
Tony made me uncomfortable flirting & displaying affection toward me, during the festivities. I thought he would get the hint every time I backed away, but he was persistent pulling me into him. The least thing I wanted people to think was that we were dating & I tried to be as incognito as possible. Opt no one would notice me sporting a casual pair of Cocoa & Breezy sunglasses & a sleeveless hoody from Top Shop.
“What’s wrong sexy,” Tony asked.
“You keep touching me,” I responded.
“But I always ---“
“Will you shut up,” I interrupted him as he began to say
too much, while his friends joked around with the hideous drag queens walking past. The Ringling Brothers already toured this past March, we don’t need more clowns. What an insult to the female celebrities who worked their asses off to become a household name; and their respects are paid by dragons that look like a cheaper version of them. I have never seen the fascination with drag queens; they give the community a bad name.
Thanks to them, when I first came out of the closet, my mother asked if I was going to start cross dressing. I never understood why heterosexuals assumed that gay men wanted to be women. Although, Belle from “Beauty & the Beast” was my heroine in my adolescent years and I desperately wanted to be her, hopping around in my undies singing the theme song gyrating in my mother’s kitten heels, hair brush as a microphone & her Akoya Vintage pearls, while she was asleep.
“Nico, what’s wrong,” one of Tony’s female friends asked in an olive green spiked blazer, booty shorts & black pumps. She was prissy & I’ve always had a fancy for “girly girls” a la Deja.
“Nothing, I just can’t deal with drag queens, they are scary.”
“I love them,” she laughed holding her girlfriend’s hand. It is rare to encounter a ‘lip-stick lesbian’ couple, but I truly admire two feminine women together.
“So why aren’t you going to get back with our friend,” the girlfriend asked.
“Because I have a boyfriend,” I yelled.
“So break up with him & get back with Tony,” she laughed.
“No, I’m not doing that.”
“Well, it’s not like you two are not interested in each other. I see how you gaze in his eyes, while conversating & flirting.”
“Gaze in his eyes? And flirting? Hell no. And the word is converse, not conversating boo,” I declared.
“Oh excuse me, Mr. English teacher.”
“I think you are reading into it a bit much,” I said as she brushed me off and insisted she was not born yesterday. His friends were really bugging, attempting to get us back together.
I attempted to disperse away from the group and stand on the sideline, but turned my head to see Ms. Delmar across the street from me. He looked slightly different from our last confrontation, never thought it was possible for a dark skin individual t
o get a tan. Delmar already had smooth chocolate skin, but damn… how in the hell did he turn purple!
We both glanced at each other for approximately ten seconds, I did not know if I should turn away or just pretend I didn’t see him. He walked across the street in my direction with a giant kool-aid smile on his face, next to a light skin guy with dreads. Why is he coming over here?
“Is that you Nico,” he asked unsurely meeting halfway in the center of the street.
“Who’s that,” I asked trying to disguise myself.
“It is you! You look nice,” he said as I responded with a condescending smirk. “So I heard someone is in talks with Def Jam using ‘Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last’ as their demo.”
“Damn, word reaches people fast! It’s negotiable, but very tightlipped. I did write it, didn’t I,” I asked wondering where the conversation was working towards. In my head, I could still replay it in my mind punching Delmar in his face, but he seemed to be genuinely nice.
Tony walked behind me with his hand wrapped around my waist. “Babe, we were looking for you,” he said as I moved my body towards Delmar trying to avoid any body contact with Tony, calmly.
“Is this your new boo,” Delmar asked.
“Oh no, I’m still with Abdul.”
“Oh okay, how is he?”
“He’s well & living.”
“Tell him I said hello,” he had the audacity to slither with a seductive smile. As my fake smile turned into a ‘bitch I will cut you, if you try me again’ snarl. But that was expected from me, so I did not give Delmar the satisfaction.
“I sure won’t--- you take care, honey bun,” I smiled as I pulled Tony by his arm & walked away from smacking the cumstains out of Delmar’s mouth. He stood there with his friend winking his eye at me; apparently he didn’t want to be able to see anymore because I was ready to knock them out of his socket.
The atmosphere suddenly felt disoriented like I lived in outer space & everyone around me was green Martians.
“Who was that,” Tony asked.
“The kid Roger & I worked with before he passed,” I said as fire trucks drove by with the alarms ringing in our ears & overpowering our voices.
“What did you say,” Tony asked holding his earlobes. “Nothing, I just wish these damn fire trucks pass us by.”
“Push Up On Me Featuring Delmar”
Sirens flashed everywhere, as Ty & I were obscure after drinking the entire bottle of Sdveka. We got filthy drunk, and I felt tasteless being the son of a preacher-man and committing every sin in the book, simultaneously. But honestly, who the fuck cares! We only live once and if I go to Hell for being gay & drunk on a Saturday, then so be it.
“You were being messy with Nico,” Ty said. “Huh, how,” I asked.
“How are you going to tell him to tell his boyfriend you
said hello,” he laughed throwing the juice bottle in the trash. “What? I just was saying hi, didn’t intend on being
shady.”
“Girl, you are lying through the skin of your teeth. But I
live for it, and you gave him a cute wink. That was shady,” he
laughed.
“Shush your mouth,” I laughed.
“But he is so damn fine. That’s who you should talk to.” “Are you crazy? Now, that is messy,” I said. “I bet you could get him if you wanted to,” he said. “Yeah rite! He is cute though.”
“I told you that from the jump. I think you two just feel threatened by each other, that is the reason you two don’t get along,” he insisted, but everything he said went in one ear and out the other. All I wanted to do was find an attractive guy on the block, so I could flirt with him and rub it in Jeremey’s face. I could care less about Nico’s conceited ass, but on a second note,
I could use him since Jeremey is familiar with him.
“Bitch, I’m ready to go. It ain’t enough trade here for
me. What am I going to do with these girls here? Paint their
toes,” Ty said as I laughed.
“Well come on,” I said as we both turned around to head
towards the car and saw a masculine caramel boy eyeing us
standing on the wall of a vacant corner store. I couldn’t tell who
he was interested in between us two, but he damn sure would
make a perfect candidate for my experiment.
“Chile, you need to go after this boy rite here,” he cut
the corner of his eyes. But I didn’t know what to say to him, I’m
not good with speaking to boys. Besides, that is a top’s job.
What I look like approaching this beefy guy?
Ty and I tussled back & forth about me speaking to the
boy first, and Jeremey walked around the corner with his boys
seemingly having a great time. I suddenly gained about three
hundred percent of confidence, and walked up to the boy. “You know it’s not polite to stare,” I said to the boy. “Oh really? Well it’s not polite for you and your friend
to conduct ways of approaching me either,” he smiled & walked
away leaving me at the wall to look a fool.
This is the reason I refuse to approach anyone because of
situations like this. I don’t know what to say to guys, and
Jeremey didn’t even look my way. What a waste!
“Bitch, didn’t I tell you not to talk to him.”
“Don’t try it, you were the main one pushing me to do
it,” I yelled.
“Yeah whatever, you better get Nico… like I said
before.”
“8Why so he can punch me in my face, yeah okay!
“Firebomb Featuring Abdul”
I sat on the back of the ambulance truck, while the arson team & police interrogated me about the fire. But I was just as lost as they were. Nico did not answer my calls or texts, so I didn’t know if he was in the house during the fire or not. How could something as severe happen in an hour?
I shook uncontrollably, and this is the longest I’ve ever stood without my cane. I guess when you’re in shock; the human body is capable of doing the impossible. My mind traveled in different places asking if my boyfriend and dog are in the loft? But Nico had plans to go out, so he couldn’t have been in there.
All I could think about was Milo, imagining his barks as the apartment gone up in flames. I remember when Nico & I first bought him at the pet store in Delaware. Initially, Nico wanted to buy him, but I was resistant about getting a puppy because I didn’t think he was responsible enough to have a pet. I would be the person stuck with taking care of the dog.
“Baby, please… can we get him? He is so cute, I always wanted a Shihtzu,” he begged me to buy it for him for five hundred bucks. I thought it was ridiculous to spend that much money for a dog that would only weigh about seven pounds. But I stared at the cinnamon brindel for two minutes, and fell in love with him because he tried to hump another Shihtzu he shared a cage with. I knew right away he was special. So I agreed to buy him for Nico, and became closer to the dog than he did. He always acted like he was jealous of the relationship between Milo & I.
“We didn’t find a dog or a body in the house. So maybe they were gone before the incident. Do you have any idea how this fire was caused, sir,” a firefighter asked.
“No, I don’t. Did the fire reach anyone else’s apartment?”
“No thankfully! Since you guys have brick in the home, it didn’t burn through,” he said while I sat there trying to allow it to sink in that I no longer had a home.
How in the hell was the fire caused? Where will I live? Because I will live in a homeless shelter, before living with Nico’s mother! That’s some shit I won’t even put myself through. It would be like living in boot camp. His mother would have us doing some off-the-wall shit, and I refuse to live under someone else’s rules. I haven’t been told what to do since the Marines, so who would really like put up with the bitching and complaining.
“Have you gotten in contact with the other guy who lives with you,” the firefighter asked.
“No,” I shook my head thinking about when we first moved in the loft about a year & a half ago. We were both ecstatic about living together because it was the first time he’s ever been on his own, and it was my first time ever moving with someone I was in a relationship with. So many things happened in that apartment, I don’t know whether to be sad about it going up in flames or if I should be happy that those memories are now melted away.
I mean, we have shared some great moments, but I don’t know what I’m trying to say right now. I’m just shocked and lost for words! This year just seems to get worse & worse… man, give me a break.
“Excuse me, sir. Do you have a Shihtzu?”
“Yes, I do,” I answered with a bubble in my throat. My face began to crack a smile.
“Well, I’m sorry. He didn’t make it through the fire; we found his body under your bed.”
“If It Wasn’t For Tony… Featuring Nico”
Rose Royce’s “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore” played on Magic 95.9, as Tony drove me home in his lavish Honda Accord. He sang along to the song glancing at me every chance he could get. Tony probably had the idea I was smitten by his attempt to sing for me, but I would have rather had plugs to rescue the death of my ears. He sounded like a tone deaf ‘American Idol’ reject who believe they can actually sing. In fact, I think a suffocated cat could hit those notes better than he did.
“Yo’ boy got skills, huh,” he asked, while I frowned praying he would eventually stop.
“Oh, so you gon’ to ignore me, hater,” he laughed.
“Hating? I’m the one singing background for your favorite singers & about to get my own deal, boo,” I said.
“Exactly. Singing background, not lead Effie!”
“Is there something you have on your mind, Deena?”
“Yup, you hating on my vocals,” he laughed, biting on his bottom lip. I guess that was his way of trying to ‘invite’ me in his escapades of temptation. I was not engaging in anything that could possibly hurt my relationship. Things are getting better with Abdul, he has even got confident during sex again!