by Vicki Green
Thank God Sadie chooses that moment to bring over our drinks. “Here. I brought you some of Tina’s homemade chocolate éclairs too. Enjoy!” She sets down a plate for each of us from a large plastic tray she’s holding. Damn! That looks delicious. Well, I never said I was going to diet while I was here. I give her a smile then foregoing the fork, I pick it up and take a huge bite.
“Mmmmm,” I practically moan around the éclair. Silence fills the air, so I shift my eyes at Trevor, who’s smirking, then at Colby, whose light blue eyes have darkened, staring at my mouth, his lips parted. I try to chew quickly, but my mouth is so full. I bring my hand up, covering my mouth, thinking it’s all going to spill out. Finally managing to swallow, I look at both of them simultaneously and snort. “What? It’s really good.”
“Sounds like it,” Trevor says sarcastically. He looks at Colby and then he raises his eyebrows, questioningly. He smiles back at me knowing there’s something going on, and I think he approves. He knows how hard it is for me to form any kind of relationship with a man, and I know if this develops as I hope, he’ll be happy for me.
I look at Colby. His eyes have lightened a little, but I can tell by his facial expression he’s more than turned on. My eyes move to his full lips and I self-consciously lick mine. The rest of the time we sit there, I try to keep myself in control but Colby sitting so near makes it almost impossible. I can smell him, feel his warmth, and a couple of times when we were all laughing about something, he’d move and his muscular arm would push into mine. I’d shiver and quickly talk about something else, asking questions about boarding horses, training them, and acting like I don’t really know Trevor, just to cover up my reactions. I did have a great time being out. We sat there for over an hour and then went grocery shopping. By the time we get back to the house, it’s time to cook dinner. Colby decides to grill out some steaks with corn on the cob and potatoes, so I made a salad and warmed up some rolls. We sat in the kitchen eating and having a couple of beers, something I haven’t had or done in a long time. With taking my meds, I try not to consume too much alcohol but more than that, it can dull my senses. I have to be alert at all times. It’s something I’ve learned. God, I’d just love to get drunk one time, to feel nothing, laugh my ass off and really relax. I just want to be normal.
After cleaning up, I tell the guys goodnight. Trevor says he’s not quite tired and is gonna take Ditto outside for me and that he’ll bring him to my room when he’s done. Colby says he’ll shut off all the lights except for the few needed for Trevor to get to his room. When I reach my room, I walk straight into my bathroom and get ready for bed then put on my longer camisole since it’s turned chillier. I pull back the covers, my knee on the bed, when a tap sounds on my door. I walk to the door, opening it slowly. Colby’s standing there looking all sexy. My hand is still on the doorknob. Our eyes glued onto each other’s. My heart feels like it stopped beating, my breaths coming out in pants. How can someone just look at me and make me want them so badly? It all happened so fast. One minute we’re staring at each other, the next he’s inside my room, shutting the door as his mouth covers mine. His arm is around my waist, pulling me closer until my back is arched, my breasts pushed against his firm chest and my fingers in his hair, tugging.
He releases my mouth, kissing down my face, over to my earlobe, then down my neck. My head falls back as he sucks the skin on my throat. I can’t seem to catch my breath, or maybe it’s just the panting that I can’t control. “God! I’ve wanted to do this ever since we kissed earlier. It’s all I’ve thought about,” he whispers against my flesh. His eyes move to mine, darkened by desire. “You’re all I can think about, Shiloh.”
My head wobbles, nodding eagerly. His mouth claims mine again and those butterflies take flight from my stomach up my ribs, through my breasts and into my heart. It’s beating so fast I can feel it pounding against my chest. My fingers tighten around his hair. My other hand lays against his flat, hard stomach and starts moving up, feeling his more than tight abs and then over a nipple.
He moans into my mouth as we begin moving. I hit the end of the bed with my knees and suddenly feel myself being lifted into his strong arms. He turns, sitting on the bed, and moves me until I’m straddling him. I place my hands on the sides of his face, tilting my head making our kiss deeper. With my thin layer of clothing, I feel his hard cock pushing against the place I ache for him. My hips respond by moving of their own accord, rubbing against him, wetness pooling quickly and soaking my panties. I remove my mouth and kiss his jaw, his cheek and then waver over his ear. “I…. I can’t….” I whisper, breathlessly.
His head turns as his hold tightens around me. “What, Shiloh. What do you need? What do you want, baby?” I search his eyes for something, the truth, trust, some hidden meaning. I’m confused. I’m unsure but then I know in my heart that I want him. “I’ll do whatever you want, darlin’. Just tell me.”
I open my mouth to speak but instead a moan escapes as I grind against him. My desire is almost uncontrollable. All of my young adult life I was always brought to the brink of climax, never to be allowed to release. Another type of torture from the one who won’t let me live. I kiss his lips again, savoring it, needing it. “I wish….” I move back, looking into his eyes, filled with desire, longing. So caring, so loving. I slowly move off his lap. My arms instinctively wrap around myself. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, trying to hold back my tears.
I watch his eyes dim from his desire, changing into concern. “Who’s done this to you, Shiloh? Who’s hurt you this badly?” I shake my head, my body trembling. He rubs his face with his hands, looking frustrated. I know he is. When he looks back at me, I see wetness in his eyes. Is he crying? For me? “God, I wish I knew what to do. I want to help you but you won’t let me. I can tell you want to, that you’re trying to but….” His eyes are pleading, beseeching, and breaking my heart. “Tell me and I’ll do it, Shiloh. Tell me what to do to help you. I know something or someone has hurt you, so badly. Tell me what I can do to fix it? Please?”
I purse my lips, trying not to let out the sob that so desperately wants to escape. I lower my arms, walking to him and sit down on the bed beside him. I look at him, my chin starting to quiver again. “Hold me?” He doesn’t hesitate to put his arm around me. I lean into him. His other arm moves around me. His hand lays on my head as I slide my arms around his slim waist.
“I’ll hold you as long as you need me to, darlin’.” I lay my head on his shoulder, nodding as I sniffle. His hand begins to smooth down my hair then back up my head, over and over while the other hand rubs my back. It’s like he’s trying to soothe an injured or scared animal only it’s me he wants to take away the pain from. God, I wish he could. I wish with his tender touch, he could just remove it all. The headaches. The nightmares. The horror of my life. I close my eyes and a tear falls onto his shirt. He continues his soothing strokes, and I start to feel tired, worn out. I’m so tired. So tired of running, of the never ending fear of my existence. I just want to be normal. I don’t even know what that feels like. I just want to be me.
Chapter Seven
Colby
I don’t know how long I’ve been holdin’ her, tryin’ to calm her and hopin’ to give her some peace. I want to kill whoever has done this to her. Who’s hurt her so badly she can’t even be the woman she should be. What could have happened that was so bad? I hear her light breathin’ and move my head to the side, my eyes lowerin’ so I can see her face. Her eyes are closed, her lips parted, and I feel her hands relaxed against my sides instead of the firm grip she had on me before. Slowly and carefully I move my arms around until I have a firm grip under her legs and around her back, gently liftin’ her. I carry her over to the side of her bed, layin’ her down. She immediately turns onto her right side, not wakin’. My head snaps to the door when it opens, Trevor standin’ there with Ditto at his feet on his leash. I shake my head and he simply nods, shuttin’ the door and takin’ Ditto with him. I look back down at her.
She looks peaceful as she sleeps, but I know it’s anythin’ but that for her. I walk over to her closet, gettin’ a couple of blankets I knew were stored there and take them back to the bed, unfoldin’ them and coverin’ her.
Should I leave, go back to my lonely room or should I stay and hold her tonight, hopin’ she can get a good night’s sleep without any bad dreams? I’d do anythin’ to help her, even if she can’t tell me what’s happened. I walk around the bed, careful as I climb onto the mattress and under the blankets. I lift my arm and slide it underneath her then pull her into me. In her sleep, she moves her arm across my waist, and I lay my hand on in, tightenin’ my hold around her. She sighs, but her breathin’ remains light.
I turn my head, lookin’ out the window. The moon is shining bright, castin’ a light in the room. My mind wanders, thinkin’ about what I could do to help her. Show her that she can trust me, confide in me. Then I remember her suitcase, findin’ the manuscript tucked inside. Deadly Game. Is she in a deadly game? Is she really Delia Shire? Could she be? If I’m right, her life is in grave danger, and she is hidin’ as I suspected. Fear sweeps through me at the thought of continuing Deadly Love. I’m intrigued but also I’m afraid of what I’ll find. Now when I read it, I’ll think of her. The face I’d placed with the character will be even more visual.
What if I’m wrong? What if my conclusions around this whole thing are false? I’d be more than relieved, of course, but then I would also be even more curious about her. I could go crazy layin’ here thinkin’ about this. It may make me mad. It’s like a puzzle I can’t seem to fit together. Like it’s missin’ a piece or more and without them, it’ll never be solved.
My head begins to pound with all the mixed thoughts, and my eyes grow heavy. I shift, holdin’ her closer, and close them but my mind won’t shut down. Instead I try to remember standin’ out by the barn with her earlier today. She was happy, smilin’, and we kissed for the first time. I remember my heart beatin’ so hard, the tingles that spread every place she touched. I want her to be that way always, to make her happy and to see her smile all the time. I finally start to get drowsy, my mind only seein’ her beautiful face.
My arms raise above my head, feelin’ the wood of the headboard behind me. Her warm body lays beside me, her leg had moved in between mine sometime in the night. I look down and see her hand flat against my stomach, her arm crooked over my side. Her long hair is fanned out behind her as her head rests on my chest. She’s a vision. When I look at her all I want to do is protect her, love her. My eyes widen with those thoughts. Love may be a strong word but these feelin’s I’m havin’ when I’m with her are so new to me. Is this love or just some infatuation? Is it her mysteriousness that attracts me with such a force? Granted my feelin’s are stronger than I’ve ever experienced but how do you know when it’s love? Or could it be just the mystery of her? Is it the curiosity of wantin’ to know what happened or wantin’ to piece the puzzle together that makes me want her so much? My parents have that and Memphis’ parents. Is that somethin’ I want? To be with the same woman for eternity? In college, I could have any woman I wanted and did most of the time. But that was just being a young man, one out on his own and doing whatever he wanted. It wasn’t out of love, not wantin’ a permanent relationship or even a girlfriend back then. It was meaningless, sowing wild oats.
She sighs but doesn’t stir. Those feelin’s I have when I look at her, near her, come back with a vengeance. I need to go to the bathroom. As I look over and see her clock, I know I need to start the day. However, I don’t want to move or leave her warmth. Finally, the sensation overtakes me, and I move her over, gently. I decide to use my own bathroom, so I lean over the bed, kissin’ her forehead tenderly and brush back some of her soft hair from her face. When I get into my bedroom, I walk straight over to my nightstand, pick up my cell phone, swipe it and scroll through my contacts, then hit call.
“Colby? Are you okay? You never call me,” Sadie’s voice is quiet but I can tell she’s been awake.
“I’m good. Well, not really. Can I come over and talk?” I don’t know what else to say. I really need to talk to her. She’ll understand. She knows me and she’s a woman.
“Sure, honey. Memphis is out doing chores and I was just doing some baking. Come over whenever you want. You know you don’t have to ask.”
“Thanks. Gonna take a shower and head over.” I end the call and go take my shower. By the time I’m done and dressed for the day, I walk to the kitchen and see Shiloh standing at the stove. Her head turns, a smile gracing her face as I look into her eyes. She looks refreshed. A slight blush of color appears on her cheeks.
“Mornin’.” I turn my head at the sound of Trevor’s voice. He’s sittin’ at the table already eating. Guess I took a little longer than I thought this mornin’.
“Mornin’,” I reply as I walk to the table and sit down across from him. I look up when Shiloh sets a plate of food down in front of me along with a cup of coffee. She turns to leave and I grasp her arm, lightly. “Aren’t you goin’ to eat?” She smiles, nodding slightly. I release my grip and pick up my coffee, taking a much needed sip. I feel worn out, like I didn’t sleep at all last night but she did and for that, I’m glad. I’d hold her every night as long as she can get some peace.
She walks over with her own plate and cup, sitting down in between us. I take a big bite of my eggs, chew and swallow in the silence. “Um. I’m gonna go run an errand after breakfast then I’ll be back to do chores.” They both look up at me.
“I’ll start in the barn, check on Sable and put out feed and stock up with hay then I’ll brush the horses. So, no problem. At least I’m here to help out.” Trevor smiles while taking another bite.
“Thanks, man.” I take a sip of coffee and look at Shiloh. “What are you gonna do today?”
She sets down her fork and smiles, her eyes lighting up. “Well, after cleaning and laundry, I thought I’d do some reading. I haven’t gotten to do that for a while. Is that okay or is there something else you’d like me to do?”
I smile back. Seeing her happy makes me feel so good inside, warms me up. “That sounds great. I think you should take some time for yourself. You don’t always have to be doing something around here.” She nods and starts eating again.
Once we’re done with breakfast, Shiloh tells me she’ll clean up and Trevor heads out back. I get in my truck and head over to Sadie’s. Even though neighbors are spread out, it’s nice that they’re not so far that it takes too long to get there. Once I’m there, I walk up the porch steps and knock on the door. It opens immediately, like she was waitin’ there for me. She grabs my arm and starts pulling me inside. “Come on in, Colby. You know you don’t have to knock. You’re family,” she says laughing. We walk into their living room, and she sits down on the couch while I sit in the recliner. She leans over, her arms on her legs and eyes wide, eager to know why I’m here. “So, what’s got you so flustered? You sounded terrible on the phone, like something’s really bothering you and I gotta tell ya. You look like you didn’t sleep at all last night.”
I rub my hands over my face, feelin’ just like she said. I look over at her and lower my brows in my frustration. “Sadie. I just don’t know what to do. I feel…. Hell, I don’t know what I’m feelin’ anymore. I just….” Her face softens as I look into her eyes. “I think I’m fallin’ in love with Shiloh, but I’m not sure. There’s so many things I can’t get off my mind. I think she’s hidin’ somethin’ from me and I know trust has to be earned but it’s makin’ me crazy.”
She clasps her hands together in front of her. “What do you mean, she’s hiding something? What makes you think that?” She seems nervous.
“I dunno.” I look down and then back up at her. “Please, don’t say anythin’. I’ve been reading this series called Deadly Sins by Delia Shire.” Her eyebrows raise at my confession. “It’s a horrifying series that in my head, I’m startin’ to think it isn’t fiction.” I stop almost unable to say wha
t I’m about to out loud. “I was up in her room the other day when I got Ditto and I swear I wasn’t snoopin’, ya know I’d never do that. But I saw somethin’ in a suitcase and curiosity got the better of me.”
She leans closer like she can’t wait for me to spill my guts. “What did you see?” She whispers.
I run my fingers through my hair again. “It was like a manuscript. Sadie, it’s the final book in the Deadly Sins series.” She bolts up straight and gasps, her hands covering her mouth. My brows lower. “Why would she have that, Sadie? Unless…. The way she acts, skittish at times, her horrible nightmares. Sadie? I think she’s Delia Shire.”
“No!” She gasps but it doesn’t sound completely believable.
I tilt my head and study her. She starts fidgeting with her hands in her lap. “Do you know somethin’, Sadie? You’re awfully squirmy.” She looks around and starts to bite on her lip. I try a different tactic, softenin’ my voice. “Sadie. If I’m right then she’s livin’ the game. Her life is in danger as well as everyone around her but I’m more concerned for her. I want to help but she won’t let me in.” She looks into my eyes, still bitin’ her lip. “Look. She’s in my house, Sadie, livin’ under my roof. If I need to help protect her then I have to know I’m not wrong. If she is Delia Shire, then she needs help. You know I try to keep to my business, not interferrin’ in anythin’ that’s not mine, but this is mine, Sadie. My life, yours and Memphis’, as well as Mac’s, Dallis’ and even my new guy, Trevor’s. Don’t you think we all deserve to know what we might be up against?”