Scarred (Damaged Souls)

by Twyla Turner

  “No, I don’t think so. It’s just a guy that I happened to meet while I was in town the other day and he mentioned that he’s a contractor and that he’d do it for next to nothing.” Lexi said with a small smile at Sloan.

  “Are you sure about that? Have you seen what he’s done? Does he have any references?” Dom asked in concern.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I haven’t seen anything that he’s done and he’s new around here like me. But he needed the work and I needed the help, so we’re doing each other a favor. I trust him.” Lexi finished with a blush, breaking eye contact with Sloan to look down at her toes.

  “Okay, only if you’re sure?” Dom said hesitantly.

  “I’m sure.” Lexi said again.

  “So…I was wondering. There’s this friend of my fiancé’s that had a bad break up about six months ago and now he’s ready to start dating again. And I figured since you’re single and here by yourself, that maybe this was the perfect opportunity for you two to meet.” Dom gently broached.

  “I don’t think so Dom. I’m not ready for all that.” Lexi quickly shot down the offer, turning away from Sloan, not comfortable with him hearing this particular conversation.

  “Please, Lexi. He’ll be head over heels when he sees you. And I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised too. How about a sort of double date? It’ll take the pressure off you. If you’re not interested or there’s a lull in the conversation then you can talk to me instead.” Dom paused waiting for Lexi’s answer. “Oh, come on Lexi. If anything it’ll be a chance for us to get to know each other better.” Dom pressed on.

  “I really don’t like this, but for you I’ll say yes.” Lexi finally gave in.

  “Perfect! So how about Saturday?” Dom asked animatedly.

  “I won’t be ready for any day you chose, so you might as well pick whatever day you want.” Lexi said trying hard not to freak out.

  “Aw, Lexi! Don’t be like that! It’ll be fun.” Dom said trying not to let Lexi bring down her elated mood.

  “I’m sorry. I know you mean well. I’ll try not to be a Debbie Downer.” Lexi said apologetically.

  “Okay. I’ll call you later and let you know the date and time.” Dom said, her excitement quickly rising again.

  “Alright. Talk to you soon.” Lexi said, before hanging up the phone and looking down at the things she had bought Sloan. “So…I checked your old clothes to get your size and I got you some t-shirts, a few pairs of jeans, a pair of boots and some flip flops. I don’t know if you wear sandals. I know men can be weird about that, but I figured since it’s getting so hot, that you wouldn’t mind. And I picked out some masculine toiletries for you, though I wasn’t sure what you’d like.” Lexi babbled to Sloan, trying to avoid any questions about the call she’d just ended.

  “I’m sure everything you bought is fine. That was really thoughtful of you, thank you.” Sloan said walking up to her and looking down at the items she had placed on the table. “Who’s Dom?” Sloan asked, wanting to know who Lexi had been talking to, after his heart dropped when he heard the masculine name.

  “That was my realtor. She just wanted to know how the meetings with the contractors went.” Lexi said nervously, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions about the conversation.

  “Oh.” Sloan said in relief, realizing that Dom was a woman. “So what was she trying to get you to do that you didn’t want to? I have to admit that I was getting mad on your behalf and wanted to snatch the phone away and say ‘she said no’.” Sloan said, knowing he should leave it alone, that she deserved her privacy because it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it, but he felt irrationally possessive of her.

  “It was nothing.” Lexi dodged.

  “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” Sloan conceded, backing off for the time being. “Here, I’ll take these upstairs and then I’ll come back down and we can talk about your plans for the house.” Sloan said, gathering up the items she had purchased for him. “And thank you again, Alexis.”

  “You’re welcome, Sloan.” She said softly as he left the kitchen.

  Chapter 7

  “Fake Plastic Trees”

  They spent the afternoon going over what Lexi envisioned for the house, sitting on the back porch at the folding card table, letting the breeze cool them down since inside the house was stifling. Lexi was impressed by Sloan’s knowledge and understanding of house construction and renovations, especially after so many years not working construction. But she noticed the passion and love he had for it in his animated movements and excitement in his voice.

  She was equally happy that they were on the same page with many thoughts and ideas for each room. And the things they didn’t agree on, which were basically only the things that weren’t practical for the house, Sloan broke them down in such a way that she understood why they wouldn’t work. Then he’d give solutions that turned out better than what she wanted in the first place.

  Using her giant sketch pad that she’d purchased at the art store, Sloan drew up different plans for the house and taped her magazine clippings to the corresponding room. Sloan tried to keep his growing feelings for Lexi under wraps while they worked, trying to be professional like any other contractor she would’ve hired. But it was hard at times.

  He’d reach over to point something out to her and his arm would brush hers, sending shivers down his spine. Or she would look up at him as he explained something to her, with eyes like the faded green of the leaves in the fall. Lexi’s smiles even came more frequently now, though he was sure she didn’t even realize it. And in those moments her face would light up, it took all he had not to grab her face and kiss her soundly on her plump pouty lips. I’m going to have dreams about those lips.

  They decided to start upstairs on her dream master bed and bath. Sloan suggested it, so that when the rest of the house was being done that she’d at least have a comfy oasis upstairs when she wanted to rest.

  “We should go to the hardware store and get the supplies we need to get started. And tomorrow is as good a time to start as any, if you’re ready?” Sloan suggested.

  “Yes! I’m so hyped to get started that I can barely stand it!” Lexi stood up as Sloan chuckled at her enthusiasm.

  “Alright, let’s roll out then.” Sloan said also getting up from the table.

  They both walked through the house to the front door, Lexi stopping to grab her purse off the kitchen table. Tank followed along happily, ready to go for a ride.

  “Should we really bring him with us, he can’t go into the store with us?” Lexi asked looking down at the beautiful black dog.

  “Oh he’ll be fine. And he’s the perfect solution, you don’t have to put the top up on your convertible and you don’t need an alarm system with Tank. Not only will he obediently stay in the car, no one will come close to it with him in it.” Sloan laughed as he roughed up the fur on Tank’s head as Lexi locked the front door.

  “You know, I think you’re right. He is a little intimidating, isn’t he?” Lexi said smiling at the dog as Sloan opened the driver’s side door for her.

  “Yep, he’s an honorary Marine. One of the finest trained military dogs, trained personally by me.” Sloan said with pride, walking over to the other side, sliding into the passenger seat of the Mustang and Tank jumped into the car going to the back seat.

  “They let you keep him when you came home?” Lexi asked curiously.

  “They had no choice. Tank wouldn’t leave my side, unless someone was okay with getting a chunk taken out of them. He’s basically been by my side since he was a baby, well until you came along. Now he’s a total traitor.” Sloan smirked at Lexi as she started the car and headed in the direction of town.

  ~~~

  They walked the aisles of the hardware store, grabbing the things they needed right away and talking about what to get on the next trip. The couple drew curious gazes. Many wondering whether the beautiful scarred white man was with the short voluptuous pretty black girl. Some turned up
their noses, while other’s smiled kindly. All noticing the undeniable chemistry and tension between them. Sloan and Lexi were oblivious to the looks, completely wrapped up in each other.

  Finishing up their shopping, they walked up to the register with their cart full of items. They bought sledgehammers, regular hammers, nails, and a tool belt for Sloan among a number of other supplies. They bought a pallet of lumber and drywall to be delivered to the house the next day along with a table saw they had rented.

  Lexi and Sloan left the store and headed towards the car. Lexi smiled as she watched the people walking into the store through the parking lot, change direction the moment they spotted Tank, picking another route through the maze of cars.

  “You were right. He is the perfect security system.” Lexi laughed a little at the frightening looking dog, knowing he was a big softy.

  “It helps that people think he’s a wolf.” Sloan grinned down at her.

  Lexi’s phone started to ring in her purse, nervously she pulled it out and saw that it was only Dom.

  “Hey Dom, what’s up?” Lexi spoke into the phone.

  “Hi Lexi! I just wanted you to know that we’re on for this Saturday. Our friend’s name is Aaron Grace and girl you’re gonna love him!” Dom said with excitement.

  “Okay, but don’t count on it.” Lexi said doubtfully. “So what should I wear?” Lexi sighed in resignation.

  “Definitely dress up! Nothing extravagant of course, but feminine. Maybe even a little sexy. We’re going to have dinner and then possibly go dancing.” Dom said in an animated voice that would normally be contagious, if she was talking to a normal girl.

  “Lovely.” Lexi said with a voice filled with sarcasm.

  Lexi hadn’t been dancing in forever. And she knew dancing entailed getting close to your partner, touching and holding each other. She could barely stand to shake hands with a man, a chill going down her spine every time. Sloan was the only man in a long time that could touch her without her nearly freaking out. Chills ran down her spine with him too, but they were chills of a different kind.

  “Okay great! I’ll call you on Friday to iron out the rest of the details. I can’t wait!” Dom said, either ignoring or not noticing Lexi’s lack of enthusiasm.

  Lexi hung up the phone with a shake of her head. She looked up to see Sloan staring at her with curiosity. She needed to find a way to distract him from asking about the call she’d just been on.

  “Do you still have your driver’s license?” Lexi asked.

  “Yeah, why?” Sloan asked pulling his straight brows together at the question.

  “Would you like to drive?” Lexi said holding up the car keys.

  “Hell yeah! Who wouldn’t? This car is a beauty.” Sloan said taking the keys gladly.

  They got in the car and Sloan started the car, listening to the engine purr. He backed out of the space and started in the direction of home.

  “So what was that call about? What was she trying to coerce you into now?” Sloan asked, not letting Lexi off the hook like she’d hoped.

  “She’s just trying to plan a get together, so I can meet people around town. Nothing big.” Lexi fudged a little.

  “You mean a get together, like a date get together. I can read between the lines of what you’re not saying.” Sloan said clenching his jaw and squeezing the steering wheel, knowing it wasn’t his place to stop her. It’s not like she’s mine.

  “Sloan-” Lexi started and then her phone rang again.

  Only glancing at the phone, she answered on the second ring.

  “What now, Dom?” Lexi said a little frustrated.

  “Dom? Who the fuck is Dom? You’re still mine, and don’t ever fucking forget that!” Eric’s unexpected voice shouted over the phone.

  Lexi quickly hit end before he could say any more. Her hands trembled with nearly paralyzing fear, and dropping them in her lap, she clasped them together tightly to keep Sloan from noticing.

  “What was that about?” Sloan glanced at her curiously.

  “Nothing. I think Dom just accidentally butt dialed me.” Lexi lied.

  They stayed silent the rest of the way home. Both were stewing in their own issues. Sloan wanted to argue and shout over her going out with another man. Lexi continued to try to hold it together until she could get a moment alone to fall apart.

  Sloan pulled in the driveway and they got out. Sloan grabbed half of the items they had bought at the hardware store, needing to make two trips they had so much. Lexi walked up the front stairs and opened the door, while he got the supplies. She quickly made her way to the kitchen, dropped her purse on top of the kitchen table and with a shaky hand she grabbed one of the small knives out of the wooden block on the kitchen counter, as Sloan went back out the door to get the rest of the stuff, she ran to the downstairs bathroom and locked the door.

  She pulled her pants down, letting them drop to the floor and stepped into the bathtub and sat on the edge. She looked down at her already scarred thighs, trying to decide where to cut first. A knock at the bathroom door nearly made her jump out of her skin.

  “Alexis?” Sloan said softly through the door.

  “Y…yes?” Lexi answered back in a trembling voice.

  “I’m gonna take a quick shower, okay.” Sloan said.

  “Okay.” Lexi responded trying to sound normal.

  “Are you okay?” Sloan asked his voice filled with concern.

  “I’m fine, Sloan.” Lexi said in a fake cheerful voice.

  “Alright, I’ll be down in a little bit.”

  Lexi heard him push off the door and his footsteps faded down the hallway. She looked down at her legs again and she tried to place the knife against her soft skin, in a spot free of scars, but her hand shook so violently that she couldn’t keep the knife steady. I’ll never be good enough to have a happy life. I’ll never be free of abusive men. This will make me feel so much better…in control.

  Lexi kept trying to convince herself of why she should cut, but her hands wouldn’t cooperate. Dropping the knife in the tub with a clatter, she jumped up and stepped out of the tub. Tears blinding her, she grabbed her pants and quickly pulled them back on. Unlocking the door she stormed out of the bathroom and to the hall closet where she stored her fresh canvases.

  Grabbing one of them she stomped onto the back porch and ripped away the sheet covering her painting of Sloan and Tank. She took the painting down, leaning it against the screened wall and placed the new canvas on the easel. Furiously mixing the paint to the colors she wanted, and then grabbing a brush, she started painting freehand.

  Her brush strokes were angry and hard. Tears continued to stream down her face, barely able to even see what she was painting. Anger, fear, frustration and hatred for Eric, her father and for herself took over. The paint brush felt like it was starting to weigh her down, so she threw it into the drawer of the easel. She plunged her hands into the paint and start swiping and splattering the canvas as sobs escaped her throat.

  Her emotions out of control, Lexi picked up the canvas and started slamming it into the table and chairs, busting the frame as she started to scream and shout expletives incoherently. Vaguely through all the chaos going on in her head she heard footsteps running towards her, but she couldn’t stop.

  Strong arms banded around her, holding down her arms as she kicked back and screamed, broken sobs still being ripped from her heaving chest. Sloan pulled her back until his back made contact with the wall.

  “Alexis, stop! Stop, it’s me Sloan. It’s alright. Shh…” Sloan crooned in her ear as he slid down to the floor.

  Sitting her in between his legs, he started to rock her from side to side, still holding her tightly. Lexi sobbed uncontrollably for a while, having kept it in since that first call from Eric the day before. The comfort of Sloan’s arms around her, his steady beating heart against her back and his warmth surrounding her, eventually she calmed. Her breathing became even, her heart slowed and followed his lead, though the tears conti
nued to fall down her face.

  Loosening his arms from their tight hold around her, Sloan gently grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. Her green eyes almost looked emerald as they glistened with tears in the fading light of near dusk. He clasped each side of her face with his large rough hands and gently swiped her tears away with his thumbs.

  Sloan had no idea what had set her off or what demons were chasing her, but he didn’t care. Seeing her so broken only made him want to heal her, take care of her. He had demons of his own and at any moment they could make an appearance and send him off the deep end too.

  Leaning is face towards hers, Sloan lightly kissed Lexi’s forehead.

  “I’m here.”

  He kissed each swollen eyelid.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  His lips touched each tear stained cheek.

  “I’ll protect you.”

  He rubbed his nose against hers, his lips grazing hers with feather light passes.

  “Whatever you need.”

  All will power flying out the window, Sloan pressed his lips softly against hers. His pulse quickened as his lips deepened the kiss. Her lips were soft and puffy from the pressure of crying so hard. He opened his mouth and his tongue flicked against her lips. The intimate touch pulled her back to reality.

  “Stop! I can’t!” Lexi exclaimed as she pushed at this chest, forcing Sloan to release her.

  “Why?! Why can’t you open up to me?” Sloan finally burst out in frustration.

  “I just can’t, okay?!” Lexi stood up and paced away from him.

  “Oh, but you can go on a date with a complete stranger?” Sloan shouted.

  “Yeah, like you weren’t a complete stranger just a couple of days ago. And I still don’t fully know you. Guys always start out great and then…” Lexi’s voice faded to silence not wanting to say what she really wanted to.

  “You know me! You don’t know every detail yet, but I haven’t hid anything from you. You don’t know this guy from Adam, but you’re going to go on a date with him? And don’t tell me that it’s just a get together.” Sloan glared up at her.