Tess Awakening

by Andres Mann

  Carmen stopped her. “But you said that your dad did not push you in that direction, that he wanted you to have a normal life as a woman.”

  “Yes, I have to give him credit for that. The problem was that my mom died early, and dad did not remarry. He dragged me all over the world through various military assignments, and when he was deployed to fight in wars, he parked me with my aunt and her kids. Being an Army brat, that’s all I knew. The real world of civilian life did not exist for me. The decision to go to West Point was almost a foregone conclusion in my mind.”

  Carmen listened intently while filing her nails. “As a teenager, I felt that I needed to pursue a different path from my friends in the neighborhood. The choices basically were to work on menial jobs for a minimum wage, get married to someone who was a minority with no real prospects in life, make kids and live a life of poverty and hopelessness. The military seemed to be a path that provided a more meaningful future. When I joined and went through the standard military testing, I recorded a high mechanical aptitude. What helped me most was my great grandfather, who had been a fighter pilot in World War Two. The Tuskegee Airmen were the first African-American military aviators in the Armed Forces. At an advanced age, he took me away from my drug-addicted mother when I was ten. My father had disappeared when I was five.”

  Tess was impressed. “Your great-grandfather must have been at least in his eighties.”

  “He was. Pops, as everyone called him, was still working part time fixing small private planes. He managed to buy a derelict Piper Club for little money and proceeded to rebuild it—actually he had me do it. He taught me everything he knew about planes.

  His approach was strange. With help from younger men, he removed the engine of the aircraft, set it up on a makeshift wood frame, took it apart, and then told me to put it back together. I had no idea what to do, but Gramps insisted that I figure out by myself which part fit where. He only provided guidance when I hit a brick wall; even then, he sent me to the library to study technical stuff.

  He doggedly spent every day watching me. I had grease all over my clothes and black oil smudges on my face. I took apart components, disassembled them, studied their function and how they fit in relation of the other parts. Gradually I rebuilt the craft with my own bare hands. Pops was my constant observer, smoking his corncob pipe while perched on a chair on top of a platform.

  Later he had a young pilot teach me how to fly the aircraft. By the time I was eighteen, I knew everything about small planes and got my flying license. In the army, I quickly qualified for flight school, and eventually gained the rank of Chief Warrant Officer as a helicopter pilot. I am very proud of that.”

  “Wow, I am in awe of you, Carmen. You were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth and got where you wanted to go by sheer guts and determination. I was fortunate, in that I did not have to struggle that way. I just pushed myself. After I had decided to go into the Army, my dad did his best to help me prepare me by basically raising me as a man. I bought into it, focused on what had to be done and I missed out on normal things like parties, dating and going through the teenage angst. It never occurred to me to rebel, screw around and misbehave. I never sought the attention of men because most of them were a pain, always hitting on me. I am not sure why I got married. I guess at the time I thought it would be just one of the necessary milestones on the way to a disciplined life.”

  Carmen had finished her manicure. “Girl, you don’t know what you are missing. I was always acutely aware of my femininity; I have always flaunted it, and I understood at an early age that it gives me power over men. I am proud to be a woman and I don’t mind showing off my cute butt and swinging hips. I am intensely sexual, and I like to attract men like flies to honey. I have no intention of getting into a serious relationship, at least not now. I take pleasure every time I can. I pick the men that I like, and they find out soon enough that they are not going to tell me what to do in the sack. I am always the dominant partner in bed. If they don’t like it, I throw them out of bed and get me a more pliant dude that I can use as a living dildo.”

  Tess smiled. “Wow, Erica Jong stole the Zipless Fuck from you.”

  “Perhaps, but there is a reason for how I deal with men; I was raped twice by mindless brutes, but I refused to let that experience ruin my life. My revenge is that I now treat men the same way they treat women.”

  Tess was shocked. “I am so sorry about what happened to you. I am not in your shoes, but I am sure I would have had great difficulty in overcoming such an insult to my body.”

  “I am dealing with it in my own way, Tess. I still retain my dignity.”

  “I haven’t ever been so matter of fact about men. I have only been with my Ex and Jake. Roger was a dud in bed, hung up and lacking in imagination. Jake, on the other hand, is truly a sweet man. He actually tried to understand what I needed and managed to get me out of my shell. He has helped me to enjoy lovemaking by going along with the flow, by pleasing me the way I wanted to be pleased.”

  Carmen adjusted herself on the chair. “Do tell me. Please don’t spare the juicy stuff.”

  “There really isn’t much more to say. Jake is handsome, cute, gentle and loving. We have drifted apart, and I don’t know where he is now.” Tess conveniently omitted the circumstances that led to the estrangement.

  Carmen was not one to dwell on things unduly. “I don’t know what happened to you two, and obviously, you are not ready to tell me about it. No matter. Out there, there is a smorgasbord of horny men that would be more than happy to help you forget a lost love. Just looking at you will get them to cream their jeans.”

  “You are incorrigible, madam” Tess laughed.

  “Oh well, your loss. I am sure you will eventually come to your senses,” Carmen said on her way out. “Gotta go; all this talk about dudes put me in the mood for love and I need to find a volunteer to set things right. Tada.” Walking out with her trademark swagger, she went on the hunt; it didn’t take long to bag a suitable candidate.

  Carmen’s style of lovemaking was assertive and no-nonsense. She and the chosen stud took off their clothes, got in bed and briefly kissed. To make sure he was properly motivated, she allowed him to fondle her body for a few minutes. The guy obviously enjoyed munching on her nice tits and nibbling on her adorable ass. Then it was time to get to business. Carmen insisted that the man lay on his back. She licked and sucked the guy to make sure he had a proper erection. That was also good enough to make her nice and wet. The man usually tried to take control, but she slapped him down, insisting that he be a good boy and lie there with his hard dick up in the air. She always made sure to put a rubber on the guy; then she got on top of him and enjoyed a delicious, wet descent on the man’s stiff rod. She moved up and down, rotating her hips for maximum effect, and soon enjoyed her climax. The guy grunted, thoroughly relishing getting off without having to do much work.

  Generally, at this juncture, Carmen was satisfied. She kissed a guy off and left, leaving the man disconsolately holding on to his swollen rod, but this time, she decided to reward the nice fellow for good behavior. She got on her back, spread her legs, and allowed the soldier to get into her. She appreciated his enthusiastic pumping, climaxed a second time, relaxed and allowed him to keep moving inside her until he grunted. ‘Simultaneous orgasm is so overrated,’ she observed. Mission accomplished. Hardly a word was spoken, and that is how she liked it. She gave the guy a wet kiss on the mouth as a sign of appreciation and left. The man never knew her name.

  Meantime, Tess, awake in her bunk, missed Jake terribly and kept faulting herself for deceiving him. She also started to doubt the direction that her life was taking. Is this what she really wanted to do? Did it really make sense to kill and be killed because politicians, safely ensconced far from the conflict made horribly misguided decisions? Are we really the good guys? Yes, the other guys were bad but were we responsible for creating conditions that led to chaos, bloodshed, and mayhem? Is all this horror just a mea
ns to fulfill the political ambitions of a few men?

  Carmen, back from her escapade, was in a good mood; Tess was still in a blue funk. “Girl, you need to get yourself some honey to take your mind off things. Are you sure you don’t want to try one of my studs? They can make you feel really good.”

  “Thanks but no thanks, Carmen. I appreciate that you are trying to cheer me up, but at this time meeting guys is not what I want.”

  “You don’t know what you are missing, boss. Me, for one, I am really, deliciously relaxed now. Let’s catch some sleep, and tomorrow we can go back to make the bad guys miserable.”

  In the morning, Tess felt nauseous. She vomited in the bathroom and was considering skipping the upcoming mission when Carmen gave her some mint extract that seemed to help. On the way to the tarmac, she started to wonder about what was happening to Tess. The sickness was becoming more frequent, usually in the morning. She made a mental note to talk about it when they got back from the mission.

  Chapter 31

  Back in Business

  Jake, in spite of his misgivings, was back in Baghdad to his old job. Paul Saunders, the CIA station chief, had never processed the paperwork to release Jake after his stormy resignation. He was glad that he did so because Jake now was sitting across from his desk.

  “I am glad you changed your mind, Jake. We need you here.”

  “I must be out of my mind to get back into this mess, but I hope to be of help, somehow. I could not live with myself if I left the fight up to everyone else.”

  “You were right, of course. The people in Washington engineered a horrible mess. I am not sure where all of this is going, but at the very least we need to calm things down and allow the new Iraqi government to seek peace among the various factions.”

  Jake shook his head. “Paul, you know as well as I do that the new Iraqi government is headed for trouble. They are filling all the posts with Shiites and are assiduously marginalizing the Sunnis and Kurds. Their short sightedness is breathtaking. In trying to assure power for themselves they don’t seem to care that they are creating perpetual chaos in the country.”

  “That is all true, Jake, but our role is to help restore peace and ultimately to pull out our troops and go home. I have a mission for you. “I need you to help find Abu Makimi, a top leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Things will never settle down until we get him. This guy is really bad news. He is on a killing fest, it doesn’t matter whom, as long as it intensifies chaos.”

  Jack smiled. “Thanks for easing me back on the job with an easy mission.”

  “With you analytical skills, knowledge of Arabic and the contacts you have made among the Iraqis, your involvement is crucial.”

  “Okay, Paul. I might as well get the ball rolling.”

  Jake joined the CIA team already working on the case and received a briefing.

  A local, dismayed by Makimi’s presence in his town, had provided the first bit of vital information. Jake and two Iraqi colleagues talked to the man, who was visibly agitated. “Makimi moves into the neighborhood and what happens? Over the weekend, we found nine heads in a box.”

  Next, they got some information from the interrogation of a man recently arrested, a Makimi aide. Jake did not want to know how the Iraqis persuaded the man to provide useful information, but he was sure it was not pleasant.

  The team also got vital intelligence from the Jordanians. They had analyzed a video featuring Makimi that appeared to be of recent vintage and worked out where the pictures were taken, pinpointing the house where he was holed up.

  To complete the picture, a tip from someone in Makimi’s network put U. S. forces on the trail of the terrorist’s “spiritual adviser”. The man inadvertently led troops to the spot where the terrorist leader was holing up.

  Surveying the building from a distance, military commanders concluded that they could not go in on the ground without running the risk of triggering an escape, so they decided to use two F-16 jets. One of the aircraft dropped a 500lb bomb and then returned for another run, discharging a second one.

  Iraqi security forces rushed to what was left of the house. Shortly afterward, U. S. forces arrived. They found three dead men and three women, and a gravely wounded Makimi, whom the Iraqis put on a stretcher.

  When they started examining him, Makimi attempted to roll off the stretcher and get away, realizing that he had been captured by the hated U. S. military. He mumbled something, but he died.

  A visual identification established that it probably was him, but they conducted further examinations of his body and found more scars and tattoos consistent with what the CIA knew about him. Fingerprint identification followed, positively identifying Makimi. DNA analysis was completed within days.

  Makimi’s death allowed coalition forces to go after his network. Coalition and Iraqi forces moved quickly, conducting 17 simultaneous raids in and around Baghdad within hours of Makimi’s death. They were able to seize a significant amount of information and intelligence. It was a treasure trove.

  A further 39 raids were carried out, leading to the capture or death of most terrorists on the network.

  Jake and his team returned to base. “A hell of a way to make a living,” He thought.

  Chapter 32

  Secrets Best Kept

  Jake had found out that Tess was back to her unit, but he needed to think things through before attempting to see her. He was trying to work out in his mind how he would feel if he found out for sure that she had been with Amir. ‘I should just forget about her and move on with my life,’ he kept telling himself.

  And yet, he could not help feeling that there might be other explanations for her disappearance. He could not believe that Tess had just discarded their warm and loving relationship without a good reason. Or maybe it was just a fling for her. Either way, he needed closure.

  He found her on the chow line talking with Carmen. They women sat at a table and were discussing their upcoming mission when Jake approached them.

  “Hi, Tess.”

  She turned her head and froze. The lover that she had wronged, that she desperately needed, that she had lost was looking at her, his usual smile absent.

  Carmen, recognizing that the man was Jake and sensing that something serious was going on, picked up her tray. “I will leave you two alone.”

  “May I sit down?” Jake asked.

  “Please do,” Tess responded.

  “How are you, Tess? I have been looking for you all over Europe.”

  Tess always hated being on the defensive, and this time it was not an exception. She snapped back. “Sounds like you are accusing me as if I was a fugitive!”

  “You are not a criminal, but you have been MIA [missing in action] for a while, and I have been worrying about you. You just disappeared and did not see fit to at least let me know what you were up to.”

  “Jake, you wouldn’t have liked it if I told you what I was going to do.”

  “And what did you do, Tess? Did you go to that bastard?”

  “I am sorry, Jake, I did. I needed to try to free the girl from him. My only chance to get her was to agree to his conditions.”

  “I am not sure I want to know what the conditions were.”

  “Amir stipulated that I had to spend one month with him and the girl, at the end of which he would let me have her.”

  Jake looked at her skeptically. “Yet you are here. I can only assume that it didn’t work out. Wars and moms are not exactly compatible.”

  “Yes, I failed. I was called back to rejoin my unit before the month was up. Amir saw my early departure as a breach of our agreement.”

  “Is that all, Tess? Did you sleep with him?”

  “I will not lie to you, Jake. It was a condition of his letting go of the girl.”

  Jake closed his eyes, his stomach sinking. Now he had confirmation that the woman he loved had sex with another man, throwing him aside as if he did not count.

  “Where is the girl now, Tess; still with him?”
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  Tess was trying hard not to cry. “Yes, he kept the girl. He persuaded me to sleep with him; afterward he confessed that Aara was his own daughter.

  She stood up and started to walk out. “I need to get out of here.”

  Jake followed her. They found a bench seat under cover. The sun was scorching; only a few people ventured walking outside.

  Jake had an overwhelming desire to embrace her and comfort her but was not sure if she would welcome the overture. He hesitated for another reason: he was horrified that another man, especially Amir, had possessed the woman he loved and that she had allowed it to happen. He had trouble getting his mind around that.

  “Tess, you could have waited until I came back to Istanbul. We would have failed to get the girl just the same, but you would also have avoided giving in to Amir.”

  “Jake, if you were around, there was no chance in hell that Amir would have even talked to me about the girl.”

  “So you managed to approach the situation impetuously as usual, and you got set up.”

  Tess put her hands on her eyes, trying to control her emotions. “Yes, I was deceived. The whole thing turned out a mess, and there is nothing more I can do about it.”

  Jake recognized that he could not push Tess much more, but he just had to resolve the turmoil in his heart. The jealousy that plagues men’s souls hit him like a wave.

  “Did you like making love to him?”

  “I cannot lie to you. Amir is a remarkable lover. He made me want him, turned me on and gave me pleasure like I had never had in my life.” She immediately regretted her honesty.