Silver Lining

by E. J. Shortall

  “What are we doing, Craig? What’s going on here?” I reply quietly, not trusting my voice.

  Craig reaches over to angle my head back around to look at him. He moulds his hands onto the sides of my face and into my hair, keeping me firmly where he wants me.

  “What’s happening here is two people sharing an immense attraction to each other. One is trying his damndest to show the other that he really likes her, that he wants to get to know her and would very much like to be able to cherish her. The other is trying her hardest to resist and run away, when she knows it’s futile because she will eventually give in.”

  “And what makes you so sure I’ll give in?” I ask with shaky breath. Having his hands on me and staring into my eyes with such passion is doing strange things to me, weakening my resolve.

  “This.” Suddenly he’s leaning forward and pulling me to him, planting his lips on mine. I’m stunned at first and sit motionless until I feel his warm tongue lick across my lower lip, seeking entrance. The sensation sends shivers throughout my body, and I moan in appreciation, giving him the small opening he needs. He delves in, stroking his tongue along mine. I find I’m returning the kiss eagerly as our tongues collide and meld together in a kind of sensual dance.

  Several minutes later, when we’re both breathless, he pulls back slightly. “That is what makes me think you’ll give in,” he whispers against my lips.

  I slump back into my seat in an attempt to catch my breath and slow my racing heartbeat. So many thoughts are racing around my head about how right it felt kissing Craig, how I didn’t want it to end, and how I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. Urgh, why does my head have to be so messed up?

  I look out the window and then back to Craig. I don’t know what to say him. Words seem to have deserted me in my hour of need, so I offer him a coy smile and bite my lip. In unison, we both start laughing. It’s cathartic, relieving the pressure of the intense moment we just shared and leaving us both relaxed and at ease.

  “It’s getting late. You should go in,” Craig says as he turns to sit back in his seat. Is that it? He’s dismissing me now? He’s had his moment of glory and is now discarding me? This is why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I simply don’t have the energy or fight in me to cope with more rejection. With the bitter sting of his words pushing me on, I reach down to grab my bag and as quickly as I possibly can, I open the door and run towards the front entrance of my building, frantically searching for my keys.

  A door slams behind me and then I hear footsteps. I’ve just managed to finally get the key in the lock when two hands grab hold of my hips, keeping me still. I feel warm breath at my ear. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Craig growls. “Why did you run? Why do you always run?” He tugs on my hips so I turn to face him. His chest is heaving and he looks angry. With me? Why? He was the one who wanted me gone.

  “You wanted me gone, Craig. You told me I should go in. I’m going in.” I try to pull back, but he keeps his grip firmly on my hips, his stormy eyes locked on mine.

  We stand like that for several moments before Craig eventually releases his hold on my hips and takes a step back. He runs his fingers through his silky dark hair as he looks up toward the cloudless night sky. “You thought I was kicking you out? You thought after what we just shared that I was simply kicking you to the curb?” he asks exasperated, and I nod my head, embarrassed by my overreaction.

  “Jesus Amber, I’m not that much of a prick. Granted, I have my faults, but I’m not a total arsehole. I had every intention of walking you to your door to make sure you got in safely. I wasn’t throwing you out. I just needed a minute to… compose myself.” He pauses for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts before returning his intense gaze back to mine.

  “Don’t you get it yet? Don’t you see? You’ve come along and completely blindsided me with your beauty and grace. From the moment I first saw you, I’ve wanted you, Amber. Do you hear that? I. Want. You.” He says stepping in close again.

  “I know you’re still hurting because of whatever happened with your ex, and I respect that. I don’t want to push you, but I do want you to know that you’ve hooked me and now all you have to do is reel me in, but only when you’re ready.”

  How do I respond to that when my emotions are all over the place and I don’t even know what to think? I say the only thing that feels right in that moment, “I’m sorry, Craig.” He engulfs me in his warm arms again, placing a soft kiss on top of my head.

  Eventually, he releases me and asks if he can walk me up to my flat. Before tonight, I wouldn’t have dreamed of allowing him in my space. It would have felt far too intimate. Tonight, though, things have shifted between us, and although it terrifies me, I find I want him there. I want him to see where I live and to get a glimpse of the real me.

  Standing in front of my door, I feel a sense of melancholy wash over me. Once I open door and go inside, the night will be over. Craig will leave to go home, and I don’t know if or when I’ll see him again, and I’m not sure if I am prepared for that. The kiss we shared in the car has stirred something deep inside me, something I was trying to avoid at all costs. Right here, right now though, I want Craig. I want to be cherished, just like he said. I want to get to know him. I want to laugh and joke with him and snuggle in his warm embrace.

  “Do you want to come in for coffee?” I ask, finally opening the door and stepping inside.

  “You’re inviting me in for Coffee?” A smile tugs at the corners of Craig’s mouth, and his eyes sparkle with amusement. I blush with embarrassment. Well, it’s not like I know what the modern social etiquette is for ends of dates.

  His eyes sober, and the grin falls from his lips. “I can’t, Amber. I’m sorry. I have an early meeting in the city tomorrow. I really should be getting home.”

  A wave of disappointment washes over me, and I nod my head in understanding. I reach over and grab the handle, ready to close the door. Instead of leaving, though, Craig steps forward, pressing into me and backing me up against the hall wall, slamming the door shut with his foot. He grabs my wrists and pins them against the wall next to my head, his hips holding mine in place.

  “You didn’t think I’d be leaving without a goodbye kiss did you?” He murmurs against my lips before skimming his over mine once again. I don’t hesitate this time. I open up to him immediately, teasing his tongue with a gentle swipe of mine. His response is to plunge his tongue in deeper, twisting and curling it around mine, possessing it with seductive triumph. He tastes of coffee and a hint of lemon, and along with his earthy scent, my senses are completely overpowered.

  Craig releases my hands to trail his fingers down my neck, along my collar bone, and down the sides of my breasts. I instinctively drive my fingers into his hair and whimper when he brushes his thumbs across my tightened nipples through the fabric of my dress.

  His lips return to mine, and he reaches behind me, pulling me in closer, grinding his obvious erection into my pelvis. I have to grab onto his shoulders to stop myself from collapsing into a pool of molten lava on the floor at his feet.

  “God, you really are beautiful,” he whispers against my lips and then moves his mouth to my neck, sucking and licking it, and sending electric shocks shooting down my spine and already wobbly legs. His hands return to worshipping my breasts, slipping in through the parting of my dress.

  “Craig,” I croak as I slam my eyes shut and tip my head back, knocking it against the wall with a thud.

  “Shh baby, it’s okay.” He releases my nipples from his grip, leaving behind a strange sensation of pleasurable stinging that I would love for him to ease with his tongue… Oh God, what is he doing to me?

  As Craig places feather light kisses along my neck, over my jaw and finally back to my lips again, I breathe out a heavy sigh of contentment. When he pulls back, and I feel the cold air hit my moistened lips, I open my eyes to see him staring at me with a look of pure desire glittering in the shiny depths of his eyes.

&
nbsp; “Amber, I better go before I totally lose it and take things to a place I don’t think you’re ready for yet.” Regret is evident in his tone. He reaches up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and places a soft kiss to my forehead. My hands drop to my side, and he immediately grabs hold of them and locks his fingers with mine.

  “Are you doing anything this weekend? I’d really like to take you out again?”

  I shake my head, already feeling loneliness seeping back in and knowing he’s going to be leaving me soon.

  “Good. Can I take your number? I’ll give you a call to arrange something.”

  I pull my hands from his and reach for my bag that I had dropped to the floor when we came in. I pull out my phone and hand it to him. “Here, call yourself with it. That way you’ll have my number, and I’ll have yours.” He takes it from me and presses a few buttons until I hear a generic ringtone emanating from his trouser pocket. He hands me my phone back then takes his out so he can store my number.

  “I really do need to go. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, okay.” He leans forward to place another soft kiss on my lips then steps back towards the door. “Thank you for coming out tonight, Amber.” He then turns and walks out, shutting the door behind him. I’m left staring at the closed door with a mix of emotions rushing through me.

  The weight of the day suddenly bears down on me, and I slide down the wall, collapsing to the floor. Putting my fingers to my swollen lips, I think about the kisses we shared and how Craig made me feel. I wonder where, if anywhere, this thing between us, whatever it is, is going.

  I eventually drag myself up off the floor, and head towards my bedroom.

  While I get ready for bed, I contemplate the pros and cons of getting involved with someone so soon after having my heart broken from a ruined long term relationship. Just then, my phone beeps with the text alert, so I grab it from my bag and look at the screen. A notification shows I have a message from an unknown number. I press the envelope icon to open the message and smile when I see it’s from Craig.

  Craig: Good night Pingu, sleep well and dream of me ;) C x

  Pingu? What’s that all about? A warm fuzzy feeling settles on my chest as I think about my evening, and Craig. I’m pretty sure you’ll be the main focus of my dreams, I think to myself as I crawl into bed and snuggle under my duvet. With a smile on my face and images of green eyed, dark haired gods in my mind, I fall into the deepest, most restful sleep I’ve had in a long, long time.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I wake on Tuesday morning feeling the lightest I have felt in almost a year. I get ready for work without dreading what the day will bring, taking more time than usual to pick out my clothes and do my hair and makeup. I choose my green Peplum dress with a black short suit jacket and my black peep toe heels. The dress reminds me of Craig, and the overall look gives me a certain level of confidence that I’ve not had for a long time. It amazes me that after just one night, Craig has inspired these feelings in me, feelings I thought I’d long ago lost. I just hope I’m not making a mistake and investing too much of myself too soon.

  After a quick breakfast, I grab my bag and car keys and head off to school. As I pull into the school’s car park, my text message alert sounds, and I rush to grab my phone from my bag, hoping its Craig. I can’t help the disappointment and irritation that surrounds me when David’s name appears on the screen. What does he want now? Why can’t he just leave me alone? I tap the message icon with a little more force than necessary while cursing David for turning my happy content morning into shit.

  David: Amber, call me when you get a chance

  That’s it? Call him? No please or thank you, no pleasantries, just demands. Always demands. We’re not together anymore, but he’s still throwing his weight around, telling me what to do. He made his bed so now he has to lie in it. I might call him back, if or when it suits me. I’m certainly not pandering to his demands anymore.

  By the time I make it to my classroom to get ready for the day, my mood has turned completely sour thanks to David. I’m tapping a pen loudly against my desk, lost in my irritated thoughts, when I hear a gentle tap at the door and my friend and work colleague, Stephanie, walks in. “What’s up with you, Missus? Who or what has crawled up your arse this fine morning?”

  I give her a one word answer, “David.”

  “Oh shit. What’s he done now? I thought he’d leave you alone now that you’ve moved out.” Her forehead crinkles in confusion.

  “Ha. You’re kidding, right? It would appear that he still thinks he has some kind of control over me,” I grumble as I pull my paperwork together.

  “Why? What’s he doing?”

  “Phoning and getting shitty when he finds out I’ve been out enjoying myself. Then just now, he texted me demanding I phone him. What’s that all about, Steph? He’s turned into such a dick. He was never like this when we first got together.”

  “Oh hun, it must have been one of those classic cases of early relationship deception, hiding one’s true self for appearance’s sake. Then, BAM! As soon as they have you hooked, the real personality shows through. Are you going to call him?”

  Steph has been through her fair share of bad relationships, so I know she she’s talking sense, but her words get me thinking. Have I seen the real Craig, or is he repressing who he is for appearance’s sake? I know nothing about him, and Becki did say to be wary of him and that he’s a playboy. He could just be deceiving me to draw me in. Maybe I’m just a challenge to him. I’m lost in thought when clicking fingers in front of my face draw my attention back to Steph. “Earth to Amber. Are you still with us? Where’d you disappear to?”

  “Sorry, Steph. I was just thinking about something you said. How can you tell? I mean, how do you truly know if someone is being honest with you? It’s not like guys have flashing neon lights on their foreheads advertising if they are genuine or not.”

  “That is the million dollar question. If there was an answer to that, we would all be happily married with cute little families, and the world would be full of rainbows and butterflies. In reality, though, we have to go through the shit, some of us more than others, to find our little piece of nirvana.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. What did you come in for anyway? What can I do for you?”

  A mischievous smirk spreads across her face. “I’m just being nosey, really. I happened to walk by the hall yesterday afternoon and saw you speaking to some hottie. I want the gossip. Who was he? How do you know him? Is he single, and if he is, will you please pass him my number?” My back stiffens, and as I glare at her, I grab the edge of the desk in a vice like grip, trying to stop myself from telling her, “Back the fuck off. He’s mine.” Either she doesn’t notice or she chooses to ignore it and continues to look at me expectantly, waiting for my reply. Why am I feeling suddenly jealous and possessive? It’s not like I have a hold on Craig or anything, but the thought of him being with anyone else pisses me right off.

  “That was Mr Silver from CAS Technologies,” I tell her eventually. “He came in to talk with my year tens. Other than that, I don’t know anything about him. Sorry.” I look away and pretend to be sorting papers again. If I tell her anything more than that, she’ll dig deeper wanting more and then she’ll see right through me.

  “Oh, well that’s a shame. That was a fine specimen that I wouldn’t mind investigating, if you know what I mean,” she says with a wink.

  Oh I know, Steph. Oh how I know.

  She says a quick goodbye and leaves the room just before the bell for registration goes, and I have to drag my mind back to my job.

  ***

  After my happy mood was wrecked by David and Steph, the morning dragged by. It would appear that I’m not the only person suffering the blues. Most of my morning has been filled with students bitching and moaning to each other, about each other, and for each other. By the time the bell rings for lunch, signalling the end of teaching for me today, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and get out of t
he classroom as quickly as possible.

  Back in the quiet safety of my office, I pull out my lunch and sink down into my chair. I take a moment to just relax and clear my mind of the morning’s stresses. I’m about to bite into my sandwich when my desk phone rings. “St Marks, Amber Merchant speaking,” I answer, trying really hard to pull my professional mask into place, but failing miserably.

  “Your day’s going that well huh?” A deep gravelly voice croons down the phone, immediately brightening my mood and sending goose bumps spiking across my skin.

  “Craig. What are you doing phoning me here? Why didn’t you call my mobile?”

  “I was just chatting to Monique about my proposal, like you suggested. When we finished, I asked her to transfer me. I was hoping you’d be on lunch by now. I take it from your greeting that you’ve had a rough morning?”

  “Yeah, it’s not been the greatest. How about you”

  “Same old. You know how it is, always people around bitching about this, that and the other. There are other things I’d much rather be doing,” he says with his smooth sexy baritone that sends my pulse racing and my body heat rising.

  “Is that so?” My voice quavers as a vivid image of what I’d much rather be doing flashes through my mind.

  “Yes… What are you doing right now? I need to picture you doing something boring and mundane, because right now the image in my head is going to cause me all sorts of problems all afternoon.” If it’s at all possible, his voice just got sexier and my temperature went right off the Richter scale. If he doesn’t stop with the flirtatious attitude soon, I may spontaneously combust right here, right now.