Silver Lining

by E. J. Shortall

  “Carly,” we are interrupted by a sharp male voice behind us, and going by the deer in headlights look now on her face, I’m guessing he’s not too happy about whatever it was we were talking about.

  “I...umm…was just heading back inside,” she says and jumps out of her lounger. As she passes behind me, I hear a hushed conversation. I try to make out what they’re saying, but they are speaking too quietly to hear a thing. At least he shared some things with me last night; I can only hope that one day soon he will feel he can completely open up to me.

  “Are you alright out here, Pingu? Do you need anything?”

  Turning around on the lounger, I face Craig who is standing just a few feet behind me at the French doors. He looks absolutely breath-taking in his casual loose fitting grey sweatpants and white t-shirt. With the sun beaming down on him, his hair looks even darker and silkier, and his eyes are bright and shining. He truly is an Adonis.

  “As much as I appreciate the sexy way you are looking at me at the moment, Pingu, I’d rather you didn’t.” Huh? Why?

  Stepping forward, he crouches down so we are face to face. With one hand he rubs his finger along my bottom lip, and with the other he takes the strand of hair I hadn’t realised I was playing with and twirls it around his own finger.

  “You see, baby, when you look at me like that, it makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything else, and right now, Redworth & Co. really need me to concentrate before all hell breaks loose with their systems. So, are you okay out here for a while?” As he continues to look into my eyes, still twirling my hair, I see the heat and desire swimming there. Oh my God. I wonder what good deed I’ve done so far in my existence to warrant being with this man, for as long or short a time that may be.

  “I… I’m okay, thanks,” I mumble, so caught up in his presence and heated gaze that speech seems to have deserted me.

  “Good. Okay then, as long as you are alright out here, I’ll get back to what I was doing. The bloody on call tech has gone AWOL, so I’ve got to sort this shit out remotely. I should be done in an hour or so, and then I’m all yours. I promise.”

  After a quick but fierce kiss, Craig stands and heads back inside, leaving my heart pounding out a beat akin to the seductive melody of a drum during a tribal mating ritual. Oh yes, Craig makes me think and feel things I never have before.

  ***

  The two of us are sitting on a wooden bench down near the edge of the stream, the afternoon sun beaming down on us. Craig is sitting relaxed with his legs stretched out in front of him, and I am lying back along the bench with my head on his lap. He absentmindedly strokes my hair as we sit in a comfortable silence listening to the tranquil sounds of the country.

  Carly left shortly after our chat on the loungers, saying she had to go and meet up with some friends. After our discussion about university, she withdrew a bit, and I sense she is unhappy about something. I hope I get to see her again so I can ask her about it.

  I suspect that Craig had something to do with her leaving, but he fiercely denies it. Anyway, as sweet and fun loving as she is, I’m glad she’s gone. It means Craig and I now have the place completely to ourselves.

  "Tell me more about CAS," I murmur, purring at the relaxing feel of Craig’s fingers stroking through my long tresses.

  "I knew you weren't listening when I went to St Marks that day," he chuckles.

  “That is where you are so very wrong. I was totally engrossed in your speech, thank you very much.”

  “Are you sure? You looked too stunned to be listening,” he replies, still chuckling. He quickly sobers and peers down into my eyes. “God, when I looked across the room and realised it was you sitting there, I thought I was the luckiest guy alive. After our brief encounter, I’d wondered if I would ever get to see you again. You really did manage to get under my skin. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

  His eyes shine with sincerity, and my heart melts that bit more for him.

  “I love you.”

  My eyes widen in terror as I realise what I just blurted out.

  A look of fear mixed with pure happiness crosses his features, and if I’m not mistaken, I can feel the slight tremble of his hands in my hair. “Amber, I …” he trails off before leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine, distracting me with a passionate, all-encompassing kiss.

  Coming up for air, I open my mouth to tell him I meant it, but he quickly places a finger over my lips to stop me. “Ssh, baby, it’s okay. No need to say anything.” Okay, so he’s not going to say it back, but he’s not pushing me away. He’s not telling me to get lost or that this was all just a bit of fun. I can live with that for now.

  His lips drop down to mine again, and he starts trailing his hands up and down my body before sneaking them under my top and stroking the bare skin of my stomach. Pulling myself upright, I stand and look at the man sitting in front of me; the man who, in just two short weeks has taken my lifeless soul and filled it with such joy and hope. I only pray that someday, maybe, he will feel for me what I feel for him.

  I take a step closer until our knees are touching, and with my gaze locked on his, I slowly remove my clothing until I’m standing before him in just my underwear. I marvel at what this man does to me. Never in a million years would I have been confident enough to strip in front of a man before, and certainly not out in the open air. I know we are on a private estate, but there is still the small chance that someone could see us out here. I push those thoughts aside when the heat in Craig’s eyes encourages me to continue, showing me that I am doing the right thing. That’s what he inspires in me; the confidence to do what I want, to be who I want.

  “I’m a lucky bastard,” Craig growls as he reaches forward and tugs me toward him.

  “No, I’m the lucky one, Craig,” I reply breathlessly as his lips and tongue start scribing patterns across my tummy and up along the upper edge of my bra.

  I close my eyes and savour the feel of Craig’s hands and mouth worshipping my body. When I feel teeth clamp down on my extremely sensitive nipple, I gasp out loud and plunge my hands into his hair, gripping on tightly, trying to ground myself from the overwhelming sensations engulfing me.

  Craig pulls me down to straddle his lap and grazes his lips along my neck, coming to rest over my mouth. “You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?” he rasps and continues seducing me with a series of long, lingering kisses, licks and nibbles. What I do to him? What about what he does to me. I’m constantly in a state of being ready to tear his clothes off and demand he take me whenever he so much as looks in my direction.

  “I’m not the special one, Craig.” Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head and reach forward for another kiss, but he stops me with a gentle hand on my shoulder and a smouldering gaze.

  “Babe, God, whenever I’m near you, it’s like all rational thought deserts me, and all I can think about is being with you, on you, in you. I can’t get enough.” His hands slowly creep along my thighs and begin stroking along the elastic edge of my knickers, teasing me.

  “Craig, please …” I whimper as he moves his thumbs closer to the throbbing epicentre of the storm brewing in my core.

  “What, baby, what do you want?”

  “You, Craig, always you,” I cry out as his thumb finally skims across my sensitive clit, sending a powerful shock wave through my body. Trembling, I drop my forehead against his.

  “And me you shall have.” Before I know it, Craig has ripped my underwear from me with a simple twist of his wrists and raised me off his lap enough to enable him to manoeuvre his bottoms down over his hips. His heavy erection springs free, and he pulls me back down and impales me in one smooth movement. Never has something felt so intense, yet so right, as it does when Craig and I join together in this way. It’s as though being connected to him pushes away all my insecurities and leaves me feeling as though we can conquer the world.

  Without words, without further sounds and with our gazes locked, Craig encourages me to move
on him. With one hand on my hip he controls our pace, and with the other he nimbly frees my breasts from their silky confines and teases my nipples with gentle strokes and pinches. “You… here … this … fucking perfect,” Craig stammers as he increases our pace.

  The pressure of the physical sensations and emotional aches set me off, and I can’t hold back any longer. I cry out to the heavens as my climax rips through me with such ferocity I swear I will literally explode. Craig is right with me, thrusting upwards deeply and pulling me down on him hard as his head drops back and he groans long and loud, signalling his own earth shattering release.

  Craig keeps me wrapped tightly in his arms, sated and basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking. Realising that this man I know I love wants me as much as I want and need him, despite my out of the blue declaration, and despite being damaged and insecure, I cuddle into him and hold him tight. Why was I so terrified of admitting my feelings for him?

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Later in the evening, we are relaxing with a glass of wine in the living room area of our upstairs suite. The evening turned much cooler, so Craig decided to light a fire. With only a small lamp and the naked flames illuminating the room, the space feels romantic and cosy. I get the strange and overwhelming feeling of being home. Maybe it’s just being here with Craig in our little bubble where nothing matters but the two of us. Whatever it is, I like it very much and don’t want to let the feeling go.

  We’re cuddled up, laying on a large, thick rug in front the fireplace, watching the flames and talking about anything and everything; well, almost everything. Craig still evades any discussions on that certain period of his life he obviously doesn’t want me to know about.

  He has told me more about the history of CAS Technologies, and I told him about my family, more specifically about my troubled relationship with James. He told me about some of the apparently ‘tamer’ misdemeanours he got involved with when he was younger. Tame? Christ, if they were tame, I’d hate to know what the worst was. Not that I’ll find out, because whenever I try to push him for more information on his late teens and early twenties, he freezes up and changes the subject.

  “I’m not ready to go back to reality tomorrow,” I murmur when there is a lull in conversation, and we both sit for several minutes staring into the flickering and dancing flames. Craig pulls me in closer and wraps his arms around my shoulders, resting my head against his chest, allowing me to listen to the soothing sounds of his heartbeat. With a deep sigh, he begins playing with the ends of my hair, rubbing strands between his fingers. I look up at him and notice the distant look on his face as he continues to stare at the fire.

  “What is it, Craig? What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned by the sadness in his eyes.

  “I’m not ready to let you go,” he replies with a whisper.

  Furrowing my brows, I place both hands on the sides of his face and force him to look at me. What does he mean, let me go? Has this time away just been some elaborate gesture so he can get his fill? Now that he has, is it time for him to move on because he doesn’t do relationships?

  “What do you mean?” The hurt and confusion I’m feeling is evident in my weak and shaking voice, but I have to know.

  Craig’s eyes search mine for several seconds before he replies, “This weekend, for the first time in God knows how long, I’ve felt alive. I’ve always loved this house. I have some wonderful memories here, but it also reminds me of a period of my life I wish I could do over. Having you here with me has made me realise certain things, and I’m scared, Ambs. I’m so fucking scared that one day you are going to see me for who I am and walk out of that door and never turn back. I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready to let you go.”

  A sudden gust of wind blowing down the chimney sends the flames flickering wildly, causing an eerie shadow to flit across the room.

  “Craig, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I love you. It’s crazy, I know. It’s only been two weeks, but I can’t help how I feel.”

  With an exasperated sigh, he pushes himself up and walks across to the window, looking out into the darkness. “But you don’t know me, Amber, not really. You can’t love me. How can you love someone, and give your heart to them, when they…” he trails off shaking his head.

  “When they what, Craig?” The words come out sharper than I intended. “You’re right, I don’t know all there is to know about you, because you won’t tell me. I can’t help how I feel though. I wish I could. I wanted to stay away if you remember. I wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship with someone else. Christ, I’d only moved out of the house I shared with David the day I first met you. But you managed to work your way in, and now, despite my head still saying this is a very bad idea, my heart is screaming, “fuck it, here take it, take it all,” so whether you or I like it or not, Craig, I do love you and am going nowhere. I want to see where this thing between us is going.”

  During my tirade, I’d walked over to join him at the window, staring at his back in fear and frustration. Craig turns to me and reaches for my hands to pull them up to rest on his chest. “I’ve fallen in love with you too,” he whispers quietly. “Please Ambs, please don’t leave me.”

  “Never,” I mumble as I lean in to kiss him.

  ***

  For the remainder of the long weekend, we laze around the house, making love in just about every room. Craig introduces me to new positions that certainly stretch the limits of my flexibility. If we carry on as we are, I am seriously going to need to consider taking Pilates classes. A memory I shall remember and treasure forever though was the time in front of that roaring fire. With the heat warming us and the soft orangey glow of the flames surrounding us like a security blanket, I had never felt so loved and protected. It had been our sanctuary and I was terrified of leaving it.

  Here we are though, its Monday lunchtime, and we are heading back to London, to real life. Although we were only gone for three days, it felt so much longer. In those three days, I discovered so much about myself and my feelings, and even Craig managed to open up a little. I can only hope things continue this way when we are back to the monotony of everyday life.

  “So what are you going to do with the rest of your week off?” Craig asks as we speed down the motorway, leaving our dream further and further behind.

  “Nothing much. I’ve got some marking and school stuff to catch up on. Other than that, I plan on relaxing and doing some reading. Oh and shopping. I really need to buy some bits for the flat to brighten it up a bit.” I love my new place, but it does desperately need an injection of colour.

  “I’m going to miss having you with me. My bed is going feel cold and lonely without you in it.” Hearing his sombre tone makes my heart break. I shift slightly in my seat to look over at him. He is gazing pensively out the front windscreen, lost in his own thoughts, and drumming his thumbs against the steering wheel.

  “Will you stay with me again tonight?” He takes his eyes off the road briefly to look over to me, long enough for me to see the hope in his beautifully deep green eyes.

  “As tempting as that is, I really need to get home, Craig. I want to catch up with Becki and I really need an early night. I’m shattered,” my cheeks burn like an inferno as I realise exactly why I’m so tired. Who would have thought shy little Amber could become such a sexual creature.

  “You could have an early night with me.”

  “Yeah, like that is likely to happen.” I huff and roll my eyes.

  Chortling at my obvious scepticism, Craig reaches over and places a hand on my thigh. “Oh, but it would. We would go bed early and… well, you know.”

  “You…” I move my hand down to place his back over on his side, but he just grabs it and interlaces our fingers “… have a one track mind, Mr Silver.”

  “Most definitely when it comes to you, Miss Merchant. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you and how you make me feel.” He pulls our conjoined hands up to his lips and places a soft kiss over my knuckles befo
re putting my hand back on my lap and refocusing his attention on the steering wheel.

  “If you won’t stay tonight, will you come over in a couple of days? I’ll cook or get something in. We can watch a movie and…” he trails off, knowing full well what would come next. I have to admit that it’s hard to not go home with him today; I am going to miss him like crazy, but this is all new still. I think we both need space to let everything sink in. I, for one, need to take things slowly.

  “That sounds wonderful,” I reply with a smile and relax back in the chair watching the world fly by and marvelling at how quickly things have changed for me.

  I must have dozed off because I am startled awake by the loud buzzing of Craig’s ringtone. Blinking my eyes in my sleepy daze, I look over to see him fumbling with a button on the steering wheel, and notice the dashboard screen is showing an incoming call from Max. “Max, now isn’t a good time. I’m driving,” Craig barks into thin air, making me flinch.

  “Craig, I need to talk to you. I’ve been speaking with Mrs Williams-Si-”

  “Not now, Max. I’m driving,” he repeats, “and I have someone in the car with me. I’ll call you back when I get home.” He stabs the button on the steering wheel again and the line goes dead, the soft music of the radio filling the air once again.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask tentatively.

  “Yep,” he replies shortly as his thumbs continue to pound the hell out of the steering wheel.

  “Are you sure? You could have spoken to him if you needed to. Don’t mind me.”

  He peers over at me, and I notice the nervous tightness around his eyes and the way he is sucking in his lower lip. “It’s fine. I’ll call him back later, nothing to worry about.”

  “Who is Max?” Intrigue gets the better of me and I have to ask.

  “My Solicitor. He’s the one who has been dealing with a few legal issues for me.” When he doesn’t continue, it is clear the subject is closed, so I keep my mouth shut. He must being dealing with legal matters all the time with the business. It really is none of my business.