Silver Lining

by E. J. Shortall

  That’s when Becki walks into my room carrying a ginormous bag stuffed to the brim with all manner of beauty products and starts to ‘girlify’ me. I thought I was pretty girly as it was, but obviously not enough for my beauty obsessed best friend.

  Now here we are, a couple of hours later, girl power tunes are blaring randomly through my Ipod, and we are laughing and joking around. I can’t remember the last time I did anything like this, if ever. It’s also a great way for Becki and me to reconnect properly after the last week and a half.

  I am lying back on my bed whilst Becki gives me a pedicure. I could really get used to this. Perhaps I should invest more time in getting beauty treatments every now and then. The music on the stereo shuffles to “My Fault” by Imagine Dragons and it hits a bit too close to home to how I have been feeling since Becki shed a bit more light on the whole Craig is married situation.

  Lifting up onto my elbows I look down at Becki, “Bec, can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot, just nothing funny. I don’t want to screw up your paint job down here.” At the moment, her full concentration is on perfecting the deep burgundy polish she is currently applying to my toe nails.

  “Have I been too hasty in running from Craig? Do you think I should have confronted him to get his side of the story?”

  She pauses for a second to look up at me. “I understand why you ran. I would have done the same thing.”

  “Yeah, but was I too hasty? Have I caused myself unnecessary heartache because of my own stupid insecurities?”

  “I don’t know, Ambs. I wasn’t there. If I’m honest, I think you should have maybe spoken to him to hear his side of the story and then made your decision based on the facts. Not what some tramp wants you to believe.”

  Her harsh words take me by surprise. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’ve already said that I don’t know the full story. Only Craig can tell you that, but I get the impression that there was gold digging involved, and that’s when he kicked her to the curb.” Wow, poor Craig, if that is the case. It still doesn’t excuse the fact that he lied to me though. Can I get over that? Could I move forward if I knew the whole truth? I just don’t know.

  “Enough about all of that, Cinderella. I want you to put it all behind you for one night and kick back and enjoy. With your new dress and beautification, you are going to be the belle of the ball and perhaps you will get swept off your feet by some other Prince Charming.”

  “Oh God no, I think I’ve had just about enough from men for quite a while. I’m up for some Amber time now, I think.” I drop back to lying down and let Becki finish off my toe nails.

  ***

  Just before seven, the Intercom buzzes to announce Scott’s arrival, so Becki and I grab our bags and head out to meet him. As we walk through the front entrance, he is leaning against his car. When he spots us, he lets out a loud whistle. “Looking hot, ladies. I am one lucky bastard, having not one, but two beautiful women on my arm.”

  “Shut it, Romeo, and get these stunning sistas to this shindig so we can get the party started,” Becki laughs and swats him playfully on the arm, while I feel the heat rising in my cheeks, adding to the already rosy look Becki has painted on me.

  With a flourish, Scott opens the door to his BMW. “Your chariot awaits, m’ladies.” With a giggle, I climb in the back seat as gracefully as I can with my long gown, and Becki follows me in, opting to join me in the back rather than sit with Scott up front. When I look over at her with a curious expression, she just shrugs her shoulders and loops her arm through mine. Okay, so it would appear she fully intends to stick to me like glue tonight; that I can cope with.

  Ten minutes later, we are pulling into a parking spot in front of the imposing façade of the Petersham hotel. From the outside, the hotel looks very grand, and from what I can remember, the inside is even more so. As Scott leads us up to the main entrance, I have a sudden fear that perhaps Craig will show. After all, he had originally invited me, so he must have been planning on coming.

  Tugging on Becki’s arm, I pull her to a stop. “Are you sure Craig won’t be here? I can’t see him, Bec. I’m not ready.”

  Spinning so she can face me full on, she grabs hold of both of my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “Relax, chill out and calm the eff down, Ambs. He won’t be here. Scott’s already told you he is staying in his cottage at the moment. He won’t be here. Okay?”

  Letting out the breath I had been holding, I nod my head in understanding, “Okay.” I hope she’s right.

  We follow Scott into the hotel’s impressive entrance and make our way to the sign-posted function suite, a stunning room decorated with elaborate chandeliers hanging from the ceilings and gilt mirrors adorning the walls. The room is already packed as we make our entrance, and I find myself darting my eyes everywhere, looking to see if Craig is here. As most people seem to be bunched in groups, it makes it slightly easier, and I begin to relax when I realise he is definitely not here.

  “What do you want to drink, ladies?” Scott’s question draws my attention back to him and Becki, and I decide to just see where the night goes and enjoy myself.

  As the evening progresses, I enjoy several glasses of wine, taste the delicacies on offer at the buffet table, and get introduced to most of the team and their wives or girlfriends. Becki is right; some of them seem to be total bitches, but most were friendly and welcoming enough. I get a few questioning looks, obviously being recognised as being with Craig recently, but nobody actually asks me out loud about him. Thank god.

  Just before nine thirty, the room is hushed into quietness as the team’s manager slash coach takes centre stage to welcome everyone and talk about the successful season the team had. Not only did they win the league with their win on the final day of the season, they had also won the County cup and a charity tournament at Easter.

  He then proceeds to hand out winner’s medals to each player and then a few awards for certain individuals. By this point, the alcohol is flowing and the ribbing and jokes amongst the players is good natured and has me laughing along with them.

  “And finally, ladies and gentlemen, we could not have achieved such great success this season without the tireless efforts and sportsmanship of our club captain. Please put your hands together and welcome our Captain, Craig ‘Dev’ Silver.” Why is everyone clapping? He isn’t here. I look around the room with a slightly fuzzy gaze at all the people who are going to be pissed off when they realise they are clapping for someone who isn’t there.

  “Thanks, Mick.”

  No, it can’t be. He isn’t here.

  But that voice sounds so familiar.

  I look over at Becki and see her looking at me with wide eyes and a panicked look on her face.

  Slowly, I turn to the front to look for the bearer of that voice and immediately lock on to the handsome guy now standing in place of Mick the coach. He looks tired, his hair a bit dishevelled, certainly not at all the usually well put together businessman I am used to seeing.

  I watch as his lips move, his eyes scanning the crowd as he is saying something, but I’m not listening. I can’t believe he’s here. He’s supposed to be in Devon, not here. Scott said he wouldn’t be here. What do I do? Do I run again? I’m sure I could grab a taxi from out front. Do I wait and see if he comes and speaks to me? Do I run up to him and plead for forgiveness? Unsure what to do, I remain rooted to my spot, unable to move.

  A round of applause startles me, and I refocus my gaze to see Craig climbing off the small stage and walking directly toward me. We lock gazes, and a million thoughts rush through my mind as I try to decide what to do. I don’t get a chance to make a decision, because suddenly Craig is standing in front of me, watching me nervously, his hands buried in his trouser pockets.

  “Hi, Amber. You look stunning.”

  “Hi, Craig. You look good too.” God this is awkward.

  “Are you having a nice evening?” Is this really what we have come to, polite chit chat
?

  “Yeah, it has been good.” Feeling more than slightly uncomfortable, I look to my right for Becki and notice that she and Scott have conveniently slipped away, leaving Craig and me alone.

  “Amber, can we talk?” he asks and places a gentle hand on my arm. I can tell from the wavering of his voice that he’s afraid of my answer. Decision time, Amber. Fight or flight?

  I decide flight.

  Pulling my arm from his grasp, I take an unsteady step backwards. “We have nothing to talk about, Craig,” I say and turn to get out of there as quickly as possible. I’m not ready for this yet. I still don’t know how I feel about the whole Aleisha situation, and until I do, I need to stay far, far away from him.

  Craig firmly grips my upper arm and holds me still. “Please, Amber, we need to talk. I have to explain things to you. You need to understand why I didn’t tell you about Aleisha.”

  Tears fill my eyes, and I will them not to fall. I can’t break down, not in here. Not in front of all of these people. “I’m sorry, Craig. I can’t do this… Please, just let me go,” I whisper.

  Moving round so we are face to face again, Craig releases my arm and places a gentle finger under my chin, lifting it so I have to look at him. “Please, Amber,” he pleads. “Give me ten minutes to explain things, and then if you want nothing more to do with me, I will walk out of here, and you will never hear from me again. I promise.”

  I close my eyes, trying to hold back the emotion overwhelming me, but it’s no use. I feel the slow trickle of the first tear, followed by another and then another. Before I know it, my cheeks are moist and my body is shaking with silent sobs.

  Warm, comforting and familiar arms envelop me in a tight embrace, and I sink into his hard chest, taking in deep breaths of his earthy scent to try and calm myself. “God, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to come here and upset you. Come on, let’s go and find somewhere quiet to talk, okay?”

  Scared that anything I say will come out as nothing more than a squeak, I simply nod my head against his chest and let him lead me away, still tightly wrapped in his embrace.

  It is cooler outside on the terrace but it is quieter and darker, offering us relative privacy from curious eyes and ears. Craig pulls out a metal garden chair for me and helps me sit down before pulling one out for him and positioning it next to me.

  We remain silent for a few minutes, both thinking about what needs to be said whilst staring out at the view of the winding river Thames in front of us.

  “Before I start, Amber, I want you to know one thing,” Craig says eventually, “Every minute of every day that we have spent together has been real. When I said you meant the world to me, it was true… is true. When we laughed and joked and messed around, it was the lightest I have been in years. When you were snuggled up in my arms, I felt a surge of protectiveness I have never experienced before. When we were intimate, no matter how rough or kinky, I was making love to you each and every time. And when I said I Love You, I meant it with my whole heart.”

  As much as I want to hear these words from him, they are breaking my heart.

  “I wanted to tell you about Aleisha so many times, but the right time never seemed to come up, and the closer we became, the harder it got. In the end, I was hoping to get the divorce through and you would never have to know any different. It was stupid though. You would have always found out the truth.

  “I have known Aleisha since I was ten years old. At first, we were just friends, hanging out with the same group from the estate she lived on. It was her older brothers that got me involved in some of the stupid shit I did.

  “When I was fourteen, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and we went through a rough year of treatments and surgery before he was told the treatments weren’t working and the Cancer had spread… There was nothing more they could do for him. It was too advanced at that point. Instead of sitting home and watching my father fading away, I chose to integrate with Aleisha’s crew even more, and we were spending more and more time together. It just became a given that we were a couple, so when dad passed away a couple of months before my sixteenth birthday, I used her to let out my anger and frustration. We started sleeping together, and I started drinking and dabbling in drugs to try and numb the loss of dad.”

  Shit, I knew he’d been involved in some bad stuff, but I didn’t realise it had been that bad. I know only too well what it is like to lose a parent, but luckily for me, I at least had David to support me at the time. What must Craig have been feeling to blank it all out with sex, drink and drugs?

  “I was getting mixed up in some dangerous shit and started feeling like my life was spinning out of control. I somehow managed to keep my grades up at school though. I felt that I owed it to dad to at least do that.

  “A couple of months after Aleisha’s sixteenth birthday, she came crying to me one day, in absolute hysterics. I sat her down and asked her what was wrong. She was pale and shaking and looked absolutely terrified. That was when she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant.”

  I have forced myself to remain silent up till now, giving Craig the time and space to say what he needs to say, but that shocks me, and I can’t hold back my gasp. I immediately slap my hand across my mouth, partly in recognition of my surprise but also as a sign that I would remain quiet and he should continue.

  “After I managed to calm her down, we spoke about our options, and she said there was no way she could give it up or have an abortion so she was going to keep the baby. I was scared, of course I was, but I vowed to be there for her and the baby. When we mustered up the courage to speak to our families, I was petrified. Her brothers are mean dudes, and I actually feared for my safety. In the end, yes they went apeshit and threatened bodily harm, but said as long as I did the right thing, they would be cool. When they said do the right thing, they meant marry her.”

  “Shit,” I whisper under my breath, drawing his eyes to mine.

  “As we were then both of an age to marry with parental permission, we agreed to do it. Her family was fine with it, mum not so much, but when she saw how determined I was to do the right thing and be a good father to my child, she begrudgingly agreed. She even paid for our small ceremony and reception just a few weeks later. Being as we were both still in education, and mum would not let me leave school to get a job, it was decided that Aleisha would live with us in the house.”

  He remains quiet for a while, and I begin to think he isn’t going to say any more, but then he continues.

  “Everything was fine for the first couple of weeks, but then she started acting strange and wouldn’t let me accompany her to her antenatal appointments. When it came to the twenty week scan, she was really vague about when it was and came up with all manner of excuses as to why I couldn’t go with her. I had really wanted to go to that one in the hope we would learn if the baby was a boy or girl. At that point, I was becoming suspicious that something was up, even speculating that maybe she wasn’t even pregnant, because she hardly had a bump and wore baggy clothes all the time, even in bed.

  “I decided to surprise her at the scan and went along at the time I believed was the appointment. When I got there, I looked for her in the waiting room, but she wasn’t there, so I thought she must have already gone in. I went up to the reception desk and asked for her, but her name wasn’t on the list. After I explained that I was the father and wanted to clarify the correct appointment time, she looked through Aleisha’s records and told me that the twenty week scan had actually taken place three weeks prior. My first thought was relief that she was in fact pregnant. Then it dawned on me that she was three weeks further along than she had told me. Having argued my case with the receptionist, I asked her to double check the dates and the baby’s due date. Armed with the information, I searched for the calendar when I got home, and there written in black and white around the time she would have likely conceived was “Craig and Carly – Devon.” We had been to stay with our grandparents for a month.”

  Holy shit, so t
hat can only mean one thing; the baby wasn’t his. Sensing the betrayal in his voice, I turn to face him properly and reach out to grab his hands, giving him my support to carry on. He grips my hands tightly and continues.

  “When she got home, I asked where she had been, and she said she had been to the appointment but hadn’t been able to get clear scan pictures again, but to be happy because we were expecting a baby boy. She couldn’t quite understand when I didn’t jump for joy at that bit of information,” he laughs bitterly. “Little did she know, she had just been caught out in her lie. When I confronted her over it, she tried to make out that there must have been some confusion, but when I told her I had seen the evidence first hand, she relented and had no choice but to come clean.

  “Apparently, while I had been away in Devon, maybe even before that, she had been fucking my then best friend. They were obviously not being as careful as I had always tried to be. Because I was the wealthier option, the future being bright because I would eventually inherit CAS, they all decided that I should be the father, and that is also why her brothers pushed for us to marry. Kieran, my so called friend, didn’t care. He didn’t want to be saddled with a child, and of course, Aleisha and her family were only too happy to get their hands on my family’s money.”

  His hands tighten around mine further, almost painfully, as the bitter memories flood him.

  “After lots of arguments, several fights, and another prison sentence near miss, Aleisha was kicked out on her arse and had to return to her mum’s place, and I moved down to Devon to get away from London life.”

  Taking a deep breath, I look down at our conjoined hands, not really sure what to say. “God, Craig… I really don’t know what to say. I can’t believe someone would do that. Surely she must have realised she would get found out?”