by Shan
"Nah, I ain't got nothing for you but take care."
Bubba and I went back to the car not saying a word the first few minutes that we rode. Things ain't gonna ever change with my mama which is why I don't come here expecting anything from her.
"You good?" Bubba asked.
"Aye, it's nothing. I just toss it up as the dope speaking through her," I sighed looking out the window.
"But still that shit is mean as hell. She don't have to say shit like that."
"Look at least I got one parent that cares about me. I'm not gonna sulk over a dope fiend that never gave a damn since I was born. Shit fuck my mama hell, I'm now starting to see what my ex friend felt when her t-lady was murdered. Some bitches ain't shit and my mama just so happens to be one of those bitches."
Bubba dropped me off at the house and helped me to get settled before leaving me. The first thing I did was took a long hot shower, and climbed in my bed. This would most likely be all I do for the next few weeks being I still had some major swelling and bruises along my face. It took days for the swelling around my eyes to go down, but they were still dark and ugly looking.
That fool Croy really did a number on me but I'm proud to say that I came out on the winning end and he was somewhere buried under the dirt.
So sorry for him. I laughed before burying my head in the pillow, and falling in a deep sleep.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"Brian get the door," I called out. I looked over at the clock on my night stand and noticed that it was only midnight. I couldn't believe that I'd been asleep for the past eight hours. It was so hard to get any sleep in the hospital with visitors in and out my room and doctors and nurses constantly checking on me. "Brian, the door!"
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"Damn, I know he hear that door just like I do," I climbed out of bed and walked to door pissed to see Brian sprawled out on the couch sleeping.
"Who the hell is it?" I yelled.
"Your future husband, now open up."
Quad
I stood outside Starr's door holding a vase of roses and wearing a big ass smile. I could imagine what her face looked like on the other side of the door upon hearing my voice. She had to know that I would find out her address and be paying her visit. I planned to wait a couple of weeks before I came through but she'd been on my mind since we parted ways at the hospital.
"Come on Starr, open the fucking door man!" I yelled after knocking for the third damn time.
"Quad, how'd you get my damn address? What do you want?" she asked.
"I wanna come in and see how you're doing. Open the door before people start coming outside," I said banging on the door again.
Finally the locks came undone and the door swung open. Her short ass stood with a mean mug on her face and wearing a pair of booty shoots that made my dick thump.
"Fuck are you doing here Quad? Who told you where I lived?" Starr asked with her arms crossed over her chest.
"I got my ways. You gonna let me come in or what?" I asked holding out the vase of flowers. She took the flowers from my hand and damn near chunked them on her table. Luckily the vase didn’t break.
"Hell you get flowers from this time of night?" Starr grabbed a cigarette from her pack of Newport's and fired it up.
"I got my ways," I laughed taking a seat at the table. "I know you didn't think you were going to get rid of me that easy.”
"Yea, actually I did. Where is Fatima? Do she know that you are here?"
"Why you always worried about Fatima? I ain't worried about her, I'm worried about you. Making sure you good and recovering the way you're supposed to be."
"I'm good Quad, Brian will be helping me and so will my dad and Bubba," Starr dumped ashes from her cigarette into the ashtray.
"Bubba? You still fuck with him the long way huh?"
Starr laughed and shook her head, "I see you still on that jealousy shit. Bubba and I are friends as always."
I grabbed Starr's feet and placed them on my lap and began to give her a nice massage. She tried to pull her feet free but I held on tight until she no longer protested and rested her head against the chair. She closed her eyes and allowed me to make her feel good. I took my hands further upwards and began massaging the insides of her thighs. She jumped, popped her eyes open and stared at me with a devilish grin.
"Nah, get your hands back," She said slapping my hands away. She got up from her chair and walked into the kitchen. I could hear the tops of beers clinking, followed by slurping sounds.
"You ain't gonna offer me one?" I yelled out. She came back to where I was sitting, handed me a beer, and then walked away. I got up from the table and followed her to a big bedroom in the back of the apartment. Starr's room was decked out the way I expected it. A big king sized bed with expensive linens, a forty-two inch flat screen mounted on the wall, the walls were decorated in a black and red color scheme, with a big mirror nailed to her closet door.
"See, I can chill here and not feel awkward. Glad you don't have the pink and purple shit going on," I said taking a seat at the edge of her bed.
"Quad, who said you were gonna be chilling here? How do you know my man won't be coming over?" Starr asked raising a brow.
"He didn't put no hours in at that hospital so that nigga won't be putting any in here," I sat my beer down on the floor and grabbed Starr by her legs pulling her closer to me. I bit my bottom lip looking at the fatness of her pussy lips through her boy shorts.
"Quad, stop. I'm not trying to go there with you," Starr protested.
"I've been thinking about this since I left the hospital today. I've been thinking about you since you left me," I kissed the inside of her thighs before working my way up to lick the material that blocked off her pussy. "Can I taste it?"
Her breaths were short and heavy and her body trembled slightly. I didn't wait for an answer and just tugged at her shorts until they were all the way off. She grabbed her beer bottle from the nightstand and chugged it until it was empty.
"You alright?" I asked laughing lightly.
"Quad, you got a girlfriend. You know I'm not like that," Starr whined.
"Starr, I would leave Fatima in a heartbeat if you told me you would take me back. I still love you baby girl, for real."
I slid my finger into her tunnel, then lowered my head, and sucked her pearl tongue. She tasted good as fuck, sweet like chocolate. Sharp gasps escaped her mouth as I worked my finger and sucked her clit at the same time. Before long her legs spread further apart and her hips began to wind and grind.
"Shit Quad, what are you doing to me?" Starr moaned loudly.
I licked and sucked, licked and sucked; her pussy was so wet that the sloshing noises could be heard over her moans.
"I...I....I can't take it! That's enough," she moaned pushing my head backwards as she squeezed her legs closed.
I climbed up between her legs, peeling my clothes away along the way. She kept her eyes closed tightly refusing to look at me. I brought my head down and kissed each and every bruise on her face, apologizing to her silently for my faults.
"Mmgh, damn nigga. Be gentle," Starr said digging her finger nails into my skin.
"It feels too good. Shit baby," I grunted while deep stroking her wetness. Her walls clenched around my dick so tightly that I felt like I would nut up immediately. It’d been a while since Starr and I engaged in such sexual acts and DAMN this shit felt so good. Better than I previously remembered.
"Quad, you're gonna make me cum again. Shit it feels so good!" Starr wrapped both her arms around me and began to match my strokes.
"Come on baby girl. I'm a cum with you!" I groaned. I pulled her shirt up and began sucking on her chocolate nipples. I didn’t want this moment to end knowing that Starr's mood could change at any moment I may never get this opportunity again.
"I cumming! I cumming!" she shivered. I sucked on her nipples like I was expecting chocolate milk to come out, stroked her faster and deeper when feeling the waves of her orgasm.
> "Aaghh, fuck," I groaned as the buildup I held onto pushed out of me. I collapsed onto Starr's chest, never letting go of her nipple.
"Damn, what have I done?" Starr asked and rubbed her hands through my head.
"You just put me on a high that's gonna be hard to come off of," I said slowly stroking her pussy waiting for another hard on.
"Whatever Quad, I'm serious. Get up. You need to leave," Starr pushed my head away and slipped from underneath me.
"Man fuck that I'm not going any damn where and you need to stop tripping and acting like you didn't wanna do what you just did. Stop acting so damn hard all the time and fucking relax," I rolled over onto my back and placed my hand behind my head.
"Nobody's acting hard Quad. You got a damn girlfriend and we just shouldn't have did that. I mean damn, this shit just shows me that nothing has changed about you. You still a cheating ass dog!"
"Starr, I don't give a fuck about Fatima man. Why the fuck you still bringing up her name?" I asked sitting up in the bed getting frustrated that she'd fucked up such a good moment.
"’Cause I'm quite sure that's what you told Chanel when you cheated on me with her," Starr said now sitting on the floor half-naked rolling a blunt.
"You wanna know why I cheated on you Starr?" I asked. "’Cause your ass wouldn't allow me to be a fucking man, and because you act too much like a fucking man! Damn a nigga got tired of sleeping with his damn homeboy!"
Starr looked over her shoulder at me but didn't say another word. After she rolled the blunt we both passed it back and forth and retired for the remainder of the night. I hated to be so fucking harsh but it what it is. Starr's ass was just as hard as I was and as a nigga; it was something detrimental about coming home to something like a dude.
"I don't know! I haven't been up there since yesterday. I'm sure if something bad would've happened then aunt Teresa would've called," I said sitting a plate on the nightstand.
"Cus, you acting like you don't care. You spent like twenty minutes at the hospital since you found out Tron was shot man. What's up with that?" Neek asked.
"Fuck is you talking about? I was going back and forth between Starr and Tron; he's in a fucking coma. What the hell you expect me to do?"
"Show some fucking support man! Teresa going through it right now and so am I. Starr is good and you need to be at the hospital with your damn family. Fatima's ass is here!"
"What? Why the hell is she there?" I questioned suspiciously.
"’Cause she said she haven’t seen you in days and figured this where you would be at. Climb your ass out that bitch pussy and get over here man for real," Neek hung the phone up before I could say another word. I tossed my cell on the bed and sat on the side where Starr was laying.
"I'm sorry, I meant to wake you up to breakfast not my yelling," I grabbed the plate I'd sat down and handed it to Starr. A small smile crept across her face when she saw that I'd threw down for her ass. I got up early and made pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns.
"It's cool. Thank you," Starr bowed her head and said her grace then looked at me seriously. "Look....I just wanted to apologize for going off after...after we umm did it or whatever. I enjoyed it and shit you know me."
"Yea, I know you. I'm sorry for what I said to you. You know I regret cheating on you and wish every day I could take it back," I got up and left the room and came back with the plate that I'd prepared for myself.
"So, what's going on? How is your cousin doing?" Starr asked with a mouthful of food.
“Still in a coma. Shit it ain't shit I can do. Doctors don't know when he'll wake up and they expecting me to sit up there all fucking day sulking. I got money to make and other shit to handle," I sighed going in on my food.
I understand Neek and his step-mom's Teresa going through it right now but I couldn't sit at no hospital for hours staring at someone that is unresponsive. From what the doctors were saying Tron could be in a coma for a couple of days or a couple of years. I loved my blood but I did take a loss when the spot was hit and shit from the looks of it was up to me to make up for it.
I have plans to get the fuck out the hood and if I want to do so I need to stay on my grind. Yea I spent several hours chilling with Starr but that was a totally different situation. She was there because of me and she had the ability to speak back to me. Tron knows the risk that comes with sitting in a dope house day in and day out. Any day you can get robbed or popped by the damn police; that was just part of the game.
"Maybe they're just expecting a little support from you," Starr said interrupting my thoughts.
"I understand that but I got shit I gotta do. Man I'm not trying to live around here forever. You know I got brothers and sisters I gotta look out for. Every day I was at that hospital with you, I was going to see Tron. Haven't anything changed. I'll stop by but I'm not about to sit up there for hours."
"How come I never met him? I thought I've met all of your family."
"Tron stayed in Memphis with his baby mama when we were talking, he found out the baby wasn't his, beat her ass and got locked up. He just got out earlier this year and came straight home when he did. I'll introduce the two of you when he come to," I said finishing the rest of my food.
"Mmgh, well I didn't say all that. I was just wondering why I never met him," Starr sat up in the bed, sat her plate on the nightstand, and stretched her body out.
"Man, I want back in and you need to let me back in," I said with a smirk on my face.
Starr parted her legs giving me a view of her bare pussy. I licked syrup off my lips, sat my plate down, and crawled over to her, "I wasn't talking about wanting back in this but damn you know I ain't gonna turn it down."
“I wasn’t expecting you to,” She said.
Starr
3 Months later
Man I swear I felt like I’m going backwards, and fast. I really thought my pistol toting days were over and I even vowed that I would never pick up a gun again unless my life depended on it. I remember preaching to myself about making great changes and leaving my past behind me but here I am holding on to a .40 caliber hand gun, and texting a fool I said will never get a second chance with me.
Over the last three months Quad came in and made me forget about everything he'd ever done to hurt me and has damn near made me forget about Keylan. One thing I can say is that he isn't the same man he was when we were together, he's changed drastically, good changes. He's honest with me, patient, and more loving. All the cockiness of having fat pockets and knowing he can have any woman he wants is long gone. I really liked the new him but the sad thing is there isn't a new me.
Quad, just like the rest of my friends don't know the things I do and have done. He knows I've slanged a couple of rocks but is clueless that I've blasted a few fools. He already confessed to me the reason for his cheating was because of my tomboyish ways and if he found out how deep my ways went I'm certain that he would be turned off for good. I understand that a man doesn't want a hardcore woman but I didn't know any other way to be.
"Get your head out the damn clouds and listen to me Starr!" my daddy yelled at me. "I'm not asking you to do this, I'm not making suggestions. I'm telling you it's what you're gonna do."
"Daddy, how the hell you're gonna tell me that I'm moving with some people I don't know? I'm twenty-one years old so can you please stop treating me like a damn child," I huffed. I lit the end of a blunt and quickly took a puff.
"Starr, anything you want to do you can do it. You want a new shop, what do you want? I'll pay for you to get your own place, whatever you want. What? What do you want?"
"I don't want you to do anything for me. You've taken care of me my entire life but you know how I am. I hate it when you try to spoil me like that."
"I'm not trying to spoil you. I just want your ass off these damn streets and to stop doing the shit you do! This is not what I wanted for you!" my dad yelled. His voice got deeper and deeper with each word he spoke.
"What? Why did you teac
h me all of this then? You the one kept putting pistols in my hands when I wanted to play with a doll. You made me like this and now you want to send me away so you and your wife can have a new life with your child and not worry about me!" I shook my head not understanding where this all was coming from. One minute my daddy was cool with me following in his footsteps and in the next he felt like I disgusted him with my behavior.
"Starr, all I ever wanted was for you to be able to protect yourself, be strong and able to stand up for yourself when necessary. I never wanted you selling dope and killing muthafuckas! You got so much potential to be whatever the fuck you wanna be and all you wanna do is to stay in this life! Why?" he asked.
"Why not? It's all I know and..."
"It's not all you know. Your ass know how to do hair better than any bitch in this damn city. Don't feed me with that shit. Starr, Lisa is my aunt and she promised me that she would look after you and make sure you're on the right path. All you gotta do is go and get away from here. I know the longer you stay here the more corrupt you're gonna become and I don't want that."
"So I'm corrupted now? What the hell is going on? Where is all this coming from? You never had any problems when I was killing muthafuckas you needed gone but now I'm just out of control and corrupted!"
"Starr, I just need to you out the fucking picture. Go to Virginia with Lisa and get your shit together. I'll give you whatever you want just please get the fuck away from here," my dad sighed.
"Out of the picture? What? I---daddy what did I?" I couldn’t even get the words out as tears found its way down my face. My daddy has never spoken to me in such a way to make me feel that he was anything less than proud of me. To hear him tell me that he wants me to leave and go stay with family I don't know, get out the picture because I was corrupt; hurt the hell out of me. This pain was far greater than the pain I felt when I lost Keylan and my unborn.