Reigning Starr

by Shan

  "What's good young Quad?" Herm approached.

  "Shit trying to make it," I greeted with a handshake and a quick hug.

  "This is my uncle Rodney, Starr's real father. He wanted to meet the young man that's involved with our Princess," Herm smiled.

  "How you doing?" I greeted Rodney the same. His greeting wasn't so warm and welcoming as Herm's. He sat across the table from me with a look that said I better not say one wrong thing or he would get on my ass.

  "So, what's up? What brings you here to see me?" Herm asked.

  "I just wanted to talk to you about some shit that came up concerning my cousin and needed to see what you knew about it."

  "Who is your cousin?" Herm asked.

  "Tatron Mitchell, some people call him Tron," I said looking at his face for signs of any recognition.

  "I don't know no damn Tron," Herm said.

  "What happened to him?" Rodney asked.

  "He was shot in one of my traps along with a few other people; one of them was a good friend of mine Jamal or J-J. Tron has been--"

  "J-J, the muthafucka that hit my place out in Decatur and stole those bricks from me. Yea, I had him fucked up. Was your cousin there with him?" Herm leaned in talking at just above a whisper.

  "Yes--" I started.

  "Oh well too bad for him. Them two niggas J.J. and T-Rock hit my spot, taking my money and my dope. I heard they were around the hood bragging about it, I had to show them they fucked with the wrong muthafucka’."

  "My cousin goes by T-Rock when he's dealing with outer towners," I said and began to get pissed.

  Herm laughed, "Fuck you want me to do, apologize? Nigga keep waiting ‘cause it ain't happening. Can you believe this muthafucka’ Unc?"

  Rodney smirked, never taking his glare away from me.

  "Did you send Starr to the hospital to finish him off?" I asked.

  "Quad, who the fuck do I look like to you? If I did, do you honestly think that I would sit here and tell you some shit like that?" Herm asked, voice filling with fire.

  "I'm not gonna do anything to hurt Starr. I just---" I was cut off when Rodney flew across the table at me and knocked me to the ground. He repeatedly punched me in my face until Herm pulled him off of me.

  "Muthafucka’ you crazy to even come down here and insinuate that you're gonna do something to Starr! You stay the fuck away from her! Do you hear me?" Rodney seethed with anger. "Nigga, let me find out your yellow ass anywhere around Starr and I'm have my people fuck you up! Don't think you can't get touched ‘cause I'm here. You better ask around!"

  Four guards rushed over to where we were; two grabbed Herm and the other two grabbed Rodney. I spit blood onto the floor and backed away from everyone, rushing out of the building, and back to my car.

  Damn, I'd expected for Herm to get mad; hell why wouldn't he? I was coming to him to question him about his daughter, but that other muthafucka’, Rodney; I didn't see that coming at all. Who the hell is he to get this upset over somebody he chose to have nothing to do with?

  I rode around Atlanta, clearing my head before I decided to take a trip out to South Carolina; hadn't spoken to Fatima in a while and was kinda missing her at this point. I’m glad that my aunt ignored me and didn't put Fatima out as I asked ‘cause the shit would've been fucked up. No matter what she's done to me or to Starr, she didn't deserve that.

  "Quad, what are you doing here?" my aunt Candace asked.

  "Just came to check up on you and Fatima," I said giving my aunt a hug. I followed her into the house and could smell bacon frying, along with hot coffee brewing.

  "She's in that back room. Quad?" my aunt looked over her shoulder and began to whisper. "Is that girl supposed to be pregnant?"

  "Yea, remember I told you that she was," I frowned.

  "Well maybe she done lost the baby because I've been seeing sanitary items in the waste basket. I ain't had my menstrual cycle in ten damn years," my aunt shook her head.

  "You sure Tabitha or Jessica didn't leave them?" I asked referring to my cousins.

  "Oh sweetie I'm positive. That girl ain't ‘bout more pregnant than I am. Stomach just as flat as the day you brought her here. I've been keeping my eye on her, she's a sneaky one."

  I nodded my head and walked to the guest bedroom where Fatima was staying. I entered without knocking and caught her blowing a cloud of smoke out the bedroom window.

  "You smoking in my auntie house?" I asked startling Fatima.

  "That old lady know I be smoking. Nice to finally see you. I missed my brother's funeral, my mama worried sick about me, and I'm just ready to go home," Fatima huffed.

  "You didn't care about going to your brother's funeral. You were too scared your mama would find out you had something to do with his death," I said laying across the bed.

  "Quad, how many times I gotta tell you I had nothing to do with that? Jonathan did that shit on his own."

  "Yea, whatever. He dead and it's on you, don't go feeling bad now."

  "You're so fucking selfish! How can you say shit like that to me?"

  "Aye, leave it alone. I told you, you can go home after the baby comes. When is my baby due?" I asked suspiciously.

  "Sometime in September or----November," Fatima stuttered.

  "Really, let me see you. Let me feel my baby," I sat up and reached for her but she slapped my hand away.

  "Go touch Starr's baby. I heard y'all living as a happy family and shit," Fatima seethed.

  "You know what Tima, I think it's best that you do pack your shit up and let me get you back to the house. I can't believe you been lying to me all this time."

  "Quad, what are you talking about? Lying about what?"

  "Lying about your fucking brother and being pregnant with my child. You think I wasn't gonna find out?"

  Fatima got quiet and just stared out the window. I couldn't believe that I fell for her antics. She was always known to lie her way in and out of a situation so I don't know why I didn't suspect that she was lying this time. Quietly Fatima got up from the bed and began to grab her clothing. I left her alone in the room to pack and joined my aunt in the kitchen. She had the whole house smelling good and I hadn't eaten in two days.

  "You got enough for me auntie?" I asked.

  "I sure do," she smiled. "Sit down and let me fix you a plate.

  I sat down at the table and admired my aunt Can-dace. She raised five kids of her own and had to step in multiple times to help her sister, my mother, with hers. It hurt her to see her sister strung out and neglecting her children. As much as she wanted to keep my brothers from being taken away; it wasn't much she could do. Her on and off diabetes complications wouldn't allow her to care for anyone besides herself and I understood.

  "I'm gonna take her back to Atlanta," I said after taking a bite of my toast.

  "That's probably best for the both of us," my aunt laughed. "She sneaky as hell."

  "Yea, I don't know why I didn't catch on to her lies before I even brought her down here," I shook my head.

  "Baby women can be conniving and convincing. Don't worry maybe you two can overcome this and she'll see the error of her ways."

  "Nah, I'm done with Fatima. She can have that drama," I laughed.

  "You know what's best for you more than anybody. Least you don't have to worry about kids right now. Too young for that," my auntie said finally taking a seat.

  I laughed, "Nah, I got a daughter on the way. Remember Starr?" I asked.

  "Yea, I remember her. Dark-skinned chick you were with for a while."

  "Yep, she's pregnant."

  "Is it yours? Do you believe she’s really pregnant?" my aunt laughed.

  "Yea, she pregnant and I know it's mine. I've been there through the mood swings, one minute she love me and wanna have the baby and the next she can't stand me and wanna kill it. Crazy. I was happy about it at first but now I'm not so sure," I sighed.

  "Why is that?" my aunt asked. She grabbed one of her Virginia Slims and lit it up.

&nb
sp; "Every time I turn around I'm hearing this or hearing that. Back in the day when we were together I used to ignore it but now I can't. Especially now that she carrying my child."

  "I know you ain't listening to no he say, she say mess Quad."

  "I've seen some things with my own eyes too auntie. And it's not just little things; I'm talking about some shit that will get you killed. She on some female gangsta shit and I ain't trying to be a part of that," I shook my head.

  "That's in her bloodline. That damn daddy of hers is a fool, that's why he serving all that time in the penitentiary."

  "You know her daddy?" I asked surprised.

  "Rodney? Yea I know that fool, we dated for a while until he started cheating with her mama Nancy. Oh yea I used to love me some Rodney. He tried coming back when Nancy got too bad on that mess but by then she was already pregnant with Starr and he ended up getting that federal time."

  "Oh, I wasn't talking about Rodney I was talking about Herm."

  "That ain't her damn daddy. Everybody and they mama knew that but wouldn't dare say so. Shit she look just like Rodney."

  "Yea, she do. She just found out about him not too long ago."

  "Yea, sad situation. Don't know why they wanted to lie to that girl like that but hell that's them. Anyway just talk to her Quad and let her know how you feel. She just a product of her environment just like you, Dominique, and Tatron. By the way how is Tatron? Teresa called last night and said that he'd woken up finally but went back into a coma. What happened?"

  I shrugged my shoulders, "Let me go see what's taking her so long. I'll be back."

  "Probably getting high as usual," my auntie rolled her eyes.

  I got up from the table and walked to the guest bedroom. Turning the knob to open the door, I noticed the door had been locked.

  "Aye, Fatima! Open the door! What the hell you in here doing?" I asked.

  BAM! BAM!

  "Tima!" I yelled. I put my ear to the door and didn't hear any movement. I wondered if she decided to sneak out of the open window, I caught her smoking through earlier. I walked back down the hall towards the kitchen and told my aunt that I would be right back.

  My car was still sitting outside so she hadn't snuck out and stole my ride. I shot off to the side of the house, walking to the open window. The wind made the curtains blow in and out of the window's opening, causing my view to be obstructed.

  "Fatima!" I yelled and pushed the curtains open.

  Bright red blood covered the bed sheets, Fatima's wrist, and the carpeted floor. Sprawled out over the bed, Fatima lay with her eyes rolled behind her head, and a pair of scissors sitting on her lap. "Auntie!"

  I ran back towards the front of the house, dashed inside, then to the bedroom. I brought my foot up and slammed it against the door, hard enough for it to pop open.

  "Auntie!" I yelled.

  I could hear my aunt's heavy body sprinting against the floor as she came to see what was going on. Once she made it to the bedroom, she grabbed ahold of the door to keep from falling to the ground.

  "Oh my Lord," my aunt said just above a whisper.

  Fatima was dead. She’d sliced her wrist until she bled out. Just then I realized how deep her love for me ran. I'd only wish I could've loved her the same way and then maybe things would've turned out differently than they have now.

  Starr

  I felt my baby kicking all night long and I swear that shit was the greatest feeling in the world. I said a promise to myself, a promise to my child, and one to God that I would be a good mother. A mother that cared for her child during pregnancy and after birth. I made up my mind last night that I was going to start doing hair and make-up again; hopefully get my own shop.

  Rozalyn told me at the hospital a few days ago when we were talking that she would love to have me in her new salon that she's opening in Miami; and right now it was starting to sound like a good idea. Brian would be leaving to help her get ready the moment he got well, and hopefully he would be accepting of me coming too.

  Honestly things were peaceful in Miami when I lived there until Keylan got killed. I knew moving out there I could leave things here and not have to worry about any bullshit following me.

  The only problem is convincing Quad to come too, but then again I'm quite sure he doesn’t want anything to do with me considering he’s been gone for a few days and haven’t said a word to me.

  Also, I'd just made it back to Quad's house from seeing my daddies about fifteen minutes ago and started packing all the belongings I'd brought over here. They told me what happened when Quad came through and the questions he asked about Tron.

  If Quad didn't want to be a part of my life or his daughter's life; could I really blame him? I mean I was responsible for trying to kill his cousin; not once but twice. I'd also stolen some dope, sold it to him, and got one crazy muthafucka’ after him for it. I’m sure he could see that I wasn’t wife material.

  I wasn't even fit to be a mother so I know I can't be a good girlfriend or a wife. Quad and I breaking up may not be such a bad thing; maybe I could have some time to myself to get my life together. I wasn't sure what my future held but I hoped that I would birth a beautiful baby girl and have grown into the woman I know I can be.

  Rushing I piled my clothes into a bag, hoping to be packed and out of Quad's house before he or Neek made it back. If Quad was asking questions about Tron then that meant he knew something which meant Neek’s ass had to have told him something.

  Tron's bitch ass probably told Neek the whole damn story about me and Bubba kicking down the trap and running up in there blasting everything in sight.

  Fuck it!

  I grabbed my bag and got ready to turn to leave when the person standing in the doorway damn near made me jump out of my skin.

  "Fuck! Have you been following me?"

  "Something like that. Where you going?" he asked.

  "Hell is you worried about it for? Nigga get the fuck outta here! Ain't got shit to say you! Aye, I know your bitch ass the one who dimed my daddy out! You and Bear ain't shit!"

  "What? I ain't did no fucking snitching and you know that!"

  "I know that? How the fuck am I supposed to know that? I’m hearing all kinds of shit and the way you did me I don’t know shit! All I know is that you a hoe ass nigga!" I screamed becoming emotional.

  Seeing him made me think of the very day he dropped me off at home where I was raped and degraded by Bear. I placed complete blame on Bubba being he is the one that told Bear what I did. If he’d never seen anything to anyone then the whole thing would’ve never happened.

  I felt so betrayed by Bubba; one of my very best friends betrayed me in a way I never thought possible. Not only that, he's one of the muthafuckas that got my daddy about to do some serious FED time. "Bubba, what the hell do you want? You came to kill me? Then do it."

  "I came to talk to you. I heard about what happened and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. You gotta believe me when I say that I never expected for any of this to happen when I told Bear what we did," Bubba said actually sounding sincere but I wasn't buying it.

  "Oh, did you think he was gonna give me a pat on the back and everything would be cool?" I sarcastically asked.

  "I don’t know what I thought was gonna happen! Bear is family and I didn’t expect no shit like this," Bubba sighed. “Aye, I’ve been looking for him. I’m gonna make him pay for this shit. I should’ve listened to you when you said he was foul and none of this would have ever happened.”

  "I don’t need you doing shit for me. You and I will never be friends again. I know that I can never trust you and that’s cool with me. Do what you came to do or move the fuck around so I can go,” I huffed.

  "I didn't come to do shit but talk to you. I got into some shit and my mind just ain’t been right,” Bubba said.

  "I don't care Bubba, I don't care! You a rat! My daddy is jail, what has he ever done to you?" I yelled becoming frustrated.

  At this point Bubba couldn't
say anything to me to get me to forgive him for the way he did me. What's done is done. I was raped because he is a snitch; my daddy is in jail because he is a snitch. Had I had my pistol on me; nigga would've been dead by now. Better believe that.

  "Starr, you gotta listen to me. I found some things out that you need to know. Bear is snitching just like you said and your boy Quad he ain’t--"

  POW! POW!

  I jumped back after seeing blood brand the walls and Bubba's head. He dropped to the ground and behind him stood Quad; his eyes were blood shot red and he looked completely worn down.

  "Shit!" tears fell from my eyes but I quickly wiped them muthafuckas away. Wasn't gonna cry over this nigga's death. Shit whatever the situation he had up against him; he could've came to me and I would've did whatever possible to help him out of it. His death wouldn't get no sympathy tears outta me.

  Hope he burns in hell! Coward! I thought as I spit on Bubba’s corpse.

  "Qua--" I started to say.

  "Shut the fuck up!" Quad bellowed pointing his gun at me. "Now I'm a ask your ass one muthafuckin' question and I want the truth."

  "You don't have to ask me shit! I'll tell you everything. Yes, I put that fool T-Rock in that bitch ass coma and yes when I saw him at the hospital I tried to finish him off. I ain't know he was your cousin until I seen your aunt coming out of his room. Did I care he was your peoples?" I asked myself more than I asked Quad. "Hell nah I ain't care. He stole from my daddy and walked around the hood bragging about that shit like it was nothing."

  "Starr, that's my folk! How could you do some shit like this man? You supposed to be my woman and about to be the mother of my fucking child! You—you--I don't know what the fuck to say about you!" Quad huffed.

  "Quad, this is who I am! I grew up around nothing but dope dealers and killers. I don't know nothing but what I know. One minute I try to change but shit the next it's not even that important to me. What you want me to do; apologize for who I am?" I shrugged my shoulders.