Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2)

by Janet Elizabeth Henderson

  Bad, Caroline decided. Definitely bad news.

  “Never mind all that.” Betty waved her arms for attention. “What’s going on with Josh? Why aren’t you talking to him?”

  Caroline suddenly had the complete attention of everyone in the room. “Time for you lot to get back to the blue room. I need my office.”

  “Answer the question, lass,” Archie said.

  She stared him down. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Same way keeping photographers away from your wedding is none of our business and acting like your secretary is none of our business?”

  Caroline scowled at him. The man fought dirty. “You were the ones that blackmailed your way into helping with the wedding. Congratulations. You’re helping with the wedding.”

  “What’s going on with you and Josh?” Archie wasn’t to be dissuaded.

  “Fine.” Caroline shooed Betty out of her chair. “If you must know, Josh and I are having some relationship dynamic difficulties and I’m making a few things clear.”

  The men looked blank. Betty gave Caroline an evil smile. “She means he isn’t doing what he’s told,” Betty translated.

  Caroline gave them her most haughty glare. “He’s bossing me around. And I don’t like it.”

  Suddenly all the faces had grins. Knowing grins.

  “It was bound to happen,” Malcolm said. “I just never thought it’d be in my lifetime.”

  Caroline ignored them as she sorted the mess Betty had made of her desk.

  “It bodes well for the rest of us to know there’s one who can do it,” Brian said with a nod.

  Caroline frowned at them. “Do what?”

  They started to laugh.

  “What?” Caroline was really getting annoyed.

  “Caroline, love,” Archie said. “Stand up to you. That’s what. You’ve met someone you can’t order around. It’s priceless.”

  “That’s it.” She pointed at the door. “Thank you for helping, but now it’s time to leave.”

  The men left, still laughing as they went.

  “And for your information,” she told them as they walked to the blue room, “this isn’t about who’s in charge, it’s about making it clear to Josh that he can’t tell me what to do. And if he tries, there will be consequences.”

  “Yep,” Archie said on a grin. “I’m betting there will be consequences, all right.”

  Caroline shut the door on his delighted face. Men. No matter the age, they were all annoying. Including the vicar. She’d just spent an hour going over what she wanted for the wedding because he wouldn’t deal with the wedding planner. She looked at the clock. An hour until she was through for the day, and first thing on her list was placing an ad for a new assistant.

  Betty wandered back into Caroline’s office, armed with a cup of tea and a mince pie.

  “What are you doing back here?”

  Betty pointed at Caroline. “Body.” She pointed at herself. “Guard.”

  Caroline ground her teeth. Hard. Trying to ignore her eighty-six-year-old bodyguard, she reached for the phone and called the local paper. The wedding might be taking over her life, but she still had to find a replacement for Beth.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  After a long day dodging her geriatric bodyguard, Caroline was sitting down to a late dinner when the doorbell rang. With a heavy sigh, she opened the door and instantly regretted it. Josh was standing on her doorstep. His arms were folded over his Hong Kong Phooey T-shirt, and he was amused. Determined but amused.

  “I’m not talking to you.” Caroline started to close the door.

  “Good.” Josh smacked a hand on the door, stopping it mid-swing. “In that case, you can listen.”

  Caroline pushed the door. Josh raised an eyebrow at her that said, Really, you think you’re stronger? She put her weight behind the door. With a shake of his head, he bent over, picked up a gym bag at his feet and walked past her into the house. Caroline slammed the door and followed him into the kitchen.

  “What are you doing? I don’t want you here. I’m not talking to you.”

  “I told you, that’s fine. I’ll talk.” He leaned against the counter at the sink—as usual, taking up too much room in her house. “I’m moving in.”

  Time stopped. There was a rushing noise in her ears—she was pretty sure it was the sound of steam trying to get out of her head. “You’re what?”

  “Moving in. Here. With you.”

  “No you are not.”

  He smiled at her, reached over and picked a piece of garlic bread from her plate. He ate it slowly.

  “Yes,” he said. “I am. The castle is a bombsite. My parents are waging World War III in what’s left of it. The noise is driving me demented. So I’m moving in here. Where it will be quiet, because you’re not talking.”

  Caroline folded her arms and tapped her toe on the linoleum. “Get a room at the pub.”

  “No.”

  “You’re not staying here.”

  “Yes. I am. What are you going to do about it? Throw me out?”

  A frustrated growl started in the pit of Caroline’s stomach and worked its way up through her clenched teeth. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

  He grinned widely. “Neither do you, baby.”

  Frustrating. Annoying. Infuriating. Pig-headed man. She clenched her fists then reached for the phone on the wall beside the door. She dialled the police station. Josh casually pulled out a chair at her kitchen table and proceeded to eat his way through her vegetable lasagne. Caroline fought the urge to kick him. Hard.

  “Invertary police station,” the woman said.

  “Agnes, it’s Caroline Patterson. I need to speak to Officer Donaldson.”

  Josh quirked an eyebrow at her. She smiled thinly.

  “Is this about that crazy singer the other night?” Agnes said.

  “No, it’s about a different one. Can you put Officer Donaldson on the line, please?”

  “No problem, honey.”

  There was silence while Josh watched her as he casually ate her meal. He thought he was untouchable. She’d see about that.

  “Caroline, what can I do for you?” the officer said.

  “Josh McInnes is in my house and I want him to leave. Could you come over and escort him out, please?” She gave Josh her “so there” look. He didn’t seem impressed.

  “I’m a bit confused, Caroline,” Donaldson said. “Do you mean the real Josh?”

  “Yes, the real Josh.” Honestly, she wondered if there was an IQ test for becoming a police officer. There should be.

  “You want me to escort your fiancé off the premises?”

  “Yes.”

  “Has he hurt you in any way?”

  “Of course not,” Caroline told him.

  “Threatened you?”

  “No.”

  “Damaged your property, stolen something, made you feel afraid in any way?”

  “No.”

  “They why do you want me to make him leave?”

  “Because…” Caroline knew her tone said she thought she was dealing with an idiot, but she was too annoyed to do anything about it. “He’s here with a bag telling me that he’s moving in, and I told him he isn’t. He’s not listening and I want him gone.”

  There was a heavy sigh. “Is the wedding off? Are you and Josh finished?”

  “No. I just don’t want the man in my house. I’m not talking to him.”

  There was silence. Josh had finished off her meal and was now stretched back in his chair, grinning at her. Like the idiot he was.

  “Caroline.” Donaldson’s tone had a hint of suffering to it. “I can’t make your fiancé leave your house unless there’s a legal reason to do so. Turfing him out because you’re giving him the silent treatment doesn’t cut it.”

  “But I don’t want him here. And he’s definitely not spending the night.”

  There was a heavy sigh. “Put Josh on the phone.”

  With a smug smile,
Caroline handed the phone to Josh.

  “Thanks, baby.”

  His attitude made her want to scream. She fought the urge.

  “Yeah?” he said into the phone, then there was silence. His eyes hit her. Then he was laughing. Hard. “My place is a pit,” he told Officer Donaldson. “She’s got a crew ripping up floors and tearing down walls.” More silence. “Yeah.” He looked at Caroline, something hot flashing in his eyes. “She’s a handful, all right.”

  “That’s it,” Caroline snapped. “Give me that phone.”

  Josh handed it over with a lazy smile.

  “Why aren’t you telling him to go?” she demanded as soon as the phone was at her ear.

  “Caroline, this is a domestic situation. You need to sort it out between the both of you. You don’t need the police. My advice is that you stop giving the guy the cold shoulder and talk to him. Maybe you can deal with this before it’s time for bed. In the meantime, I have proper police work to do. If he gets out of hand, or does anything threatening, give me a call. But seriously, being in a huff with your boyfriend is not a reason to call the cops.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.” No. He was the thorn in her side.

  “Sort it out,” was all Donaldson said before the line went dead.

  Caroline glared at Josh.

  “Thanks for dinner.” He stretched lazily. “It was great.”

  Caroline made a little strangled noise. “You can’t stay here.”

  “I am staying here.”

  “I don’t want you here.”

  “I’m picking up on that.”

  “You can’t stay here if I don’t want it.”

  He gave her a look that said differently.

  They were at a standoff. Caroline honestly didn’t know what to do. She had been sure that the police would have intervened and taken care of things. Maybe she should call Kirsty and get her to use her influence with Lake, then he could kick Josh out. Unfortunately, Lake was working with Josh. Traitor. There was nothing she could do. She was stuck with him.

  “I’m still not talking to you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re invisible.”

  His mouth twitched. “Want to tell me what I did to deserve the silent treatment?”

  “Seriously? You don’t know?”

  He shook his head, amused. Caroline felt fury course through her. She counted off his transgressions on her fingers. “You ignored my wishes and organised a bodyguard for me. Which turns out to be Betty, so all that’s doing is winding me up. You bossed me around. You didn’t listen to me. You need a serious attitude adjustment.”

  Josh burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes. Caroline waited impatiently for him to calm down. “Great, now I know what I’m being punished for. Have at it. Let me know when you’re done. And Betty isn’t your bodyguard. It’s a guy called Gary. Betty is just hanging out with you because Lake wants her gone.”

  Caroline put her hands on her hips. First thing in the morning, she was going to pay a little visit to Lake Benson. In the meantime, she needed to sort out Josh’s delusions.

  “Telling me to have at it is not how this works. You’re supposed to learn from your behaviour and change.”

  “Oh, I’m learning, all right.” He grinned at her. “I’m learning that your control issues have control issues all of their own. We’re going to be dealing with this for years. So have at it, baby. I’m sure it will make you feel better.”

  Caroline clenched her fists at her sides and stamped her foot like a toddler. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she was so angry. She couldn’t even speak. After a minute or two trying to evaporate him with a glare, she turned on her bare feet and stomped up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

  Josh grinned slowly. It was like dealing with a teenager. He traipsed up the narrow staircase with its faded orange and cream striped wallpaper. At the top of the stairs were three doors. The middle one held a tiny bathroom. The one on the right was open, so he figured the closed door on the left was Caroline’s room. He turned the handle. The door didn’t budge. He shook it. Nothing.

  “Caroline. Open up. Seriously, this has gone on long enough. Open the door.”

  There was no reply. Josh folded his arms and frowned at the door. “I want to talk.”

  He wanted to do a helluva lot more than talk, but he kept that to himself. Still no answer. “This is not the way to start a relationship.” He gritted his teeth. “I’m going to knock down the door.”

  “Go ahead and try.” Caroline’s voice was muffled. “But I’m not taking you to the hospital when you break your shoulder.”

  “Open the damn door.”

  “No. I didn’t ask you here. I don’t want you here. This is exactly the problem I was talking about—you don’t listen to me.”

  “You mean I don’t follow orders?”

  More silence.

  Josh contemplated his options. Kick down the door, or sleep in the guest room. He looked around the postage-stamp-sized landing. There wasn’t enough space to manoeuvre. She was probably right. He’d most likely bounce off the door. He thought about the noise he’d heard earlier. Had she barricaded herself in? He clenched his jaw.

  “We’ll deal with this in the morning,” he told the door.

  It was a warning. He hoped she heard it loud and clear. With tense movements, he turned to the guest room and flicked on the light. There were two small single beds made up with faded pink blankets. Equally faded pony wallpaper, a white wardrobe and dresser set and a box of well-used dolls made up the rest of the room. Josh stared at the tiny beds for a beat before picking one and lying on it. His legs hung over the end from his knees.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” he shouted.

  Through the walls, he heard the muffled sound of Caroline’s laughter.

  Josh folded his arms and looked up at a poster of a horse someone had pinned to the ceiling. Caroline had backed him into a corner. He could do as she expected, which was pretty much obey her every wish. Or…

  Josh grinned up at the horse. Yeah, he liked that second option a whole lot better.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  The first thing Josh did after he discovered that Caroline had snuck out the house before dawn was go shopping. He hit the Invertary high street like it was Rodeo Drive. He sorted out a new TV and satellite, paying extra to have it installed that afternoon. Then he bought a tool set from the guy at the hardware store, who made some sort of dig about singers knowing more about hair gel than hammers. The grocery store was next, where, for a price, he convinced them to deliver everything he needed later in the day. By the time lunch rolled around he was hungry, but satisfied. He’d managed to tick off all his chores and hadn’t gotten accosted by a fan even once. In fact, to his delight, he discovered that no one in Invertary cared who he was. It was actually kind of cool.

  As he pushed open the door to The Scottie Dog, he spotted Mitch sitting on a high stool at the long, dark wooden bar.

  “Cold beer, not that warm stuff that comes from the tap. Proper ice-cold beer,” he told Dougal as he slapped Mitch on the back.

  “Only sissy foreigners drink their beer cold.” Dougal handed over an ice-cold bottle of beer.

  “Grab a table, we’ve got stuff to go over.” Mitch folded his laptop.

  “How are the wedding plans coming along?” Dougal boomed.

  Josh wondered if the guy had any volume control whatsoever.

  “I think it’s going fine. I’m leaving it to Caroline and the wedding planner. As far as I’m concerned, my job is to turn up, not get drunk and say I do when asked.”

  Dougal nodded wisely. “Women’s stuff.”

  Josh headed over to the booth Mitch had nabbed by the window. “What’s up?” Josh put his beer on the table opposite Mitch.

  Mitch looked tired; there were circles under his eyes. “I’m moving out of the castle. I got a room here. I can’t stand the noise anymore.”

  “Join th
e club. I moved in with Caroline.”

  “Are you sure that’s any more peaceful than the castle?”

  “I’m working on it. What do you want to talk about?”

  “The usual—the record company want a date for the next album. I want to know what studio to book. There’s a bunch of memorabilia you need to sign off on. Some group in Norway wants to cover one of your singles. Some socialite wants to know if you’ll play her birthday party—she has money to throw around and keeps upping it every time I tell her you don’t do that sort of thing. We’ve had about a million requests for interviews. We’re still one of the hot topics on E! News—they love the barricade, especially now it’s being manned by a group of middle-aged women who knit and gossip. Oh, and a life-sized cutout of Lake Benson in his underpants. What else? Your accountant needs to talk to you. Stevie has a new song he wants you to hear, and People magazine want the rights to your wedding photos.”

  Josh took a slow swallow. “So not much, then?”

  Mitch let out a frustrated chuckle. “The sooner we get out of Scotland and back to normal, the better.”

  “Caroline wants to live here permanently.” Josh watched his friend’s eyes bug wide. “She wants to keep working at the community centre.”

  Mitch looked at the ceiling. “You told her things are going to change, right? That being in the public eye can screw things up?”

  “Yeah.” He paused. “She said I’m not Prince William.”

  Mitch started to laugh. Josh turned to Dougal, who came over armed with menus. “Forgot to ask if you’re hungry.”

  “Starving. What’s good?”

  Dougal stuck his nose in the air as if offended. “Everything.”

  Josh handed back the menu. “Surprise me, then. Just make sure it’s a man-sized portion.”

  “Make that two,” Mitch told him.

  Dougal smiled as he bustled away. Josh turned to the window. They were sitting on the side of the pub that faced the loch. The rich blue water was perfectly still, while the hills on the other side of the loch seemed hazy through the warm afternoon sun. He took another drink. It wasn’t LA, that was for sure, but Josh was beginning to think that was a good thing.