“No offence taken.”
“What about the marquee?” Helen said.
There was a round of delighted squeals.
“Everyone to the back of the house,” Kirsty’s mother ordered.
The women poured out of the front door and around to the back of the house, taking fake Josh with them.
Caroline trailed behind them. “I’m not sure this is a good idea. Josh was pretty clear about keeping away from him. In fact, he said the police had escorted him out of town.”
Kirsty hooked her arm in Caroline’s. “He seems harmless. Plus, what can happen to you surrounded by the rest of us?”
Caroline nodded her agreement and suddenly felt dizzy. “You’re right. He’s come all this way to sing. It would be impolite not to let him.”
“And we wouldn’t want to be impolite.”
“Somebody sort out the music,” someone shouted.
“Let’s party,” shouted someone else.
“Looks like we’re partying.” Kirsty picked up the pace, dragging Caroline along with her.
“Wait.” Caroline pulled her friend to a stop. “My champagne.” She ran through to the kitchen and nabbed a bottle, then ran back to Kirsty. “It’s just like lemonade, only it makes me feel bubbly and yummy inside.”
“Mmm, not quite like lemonade, then.”
They followed the music back to the marquee behind the castle.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The front door to the castle was ajar and there was no sound coming from inside. Josh dropped the black garbage bags full of clothes on the top step and quietly pushed open the door. The hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention as he silently stepped through into the hall. Room after room was empty. He slid his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and dialled Lake.
“I’m at the castle. The door is open and I can’t see the women.”
Josh walked to the kitchen, noticing the debris of a meal half finished. Had someone taken them? Was that even possible?
“I’m on my way.”
Josh heard a car door slam on the other end of the phone. “Where’s the guy you had watching Caroline? I don’t see him.”
“I’ll check on that.”
Josh heard a car start. Lake was a couple of minutes away at most. He looked out the kitchen window. The marquee for the wedding peeked out from behind the trees at the far end of the formal garden. And it was lit up like a Christmas tree.
“I think they’re in the marquee. I’m going to check it out. I don’t like the fact that the castle is wide open.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Lake said before Josh ended the call.
Josh slipped out the back door and jogged across the grass to the marquee. Halfway there he heard the music—and the giggling. His stomach uncoiled slightly. It wouldn’t relax completely until he saw Caroline.
The marquee was a series of white satin peaks over a wooden frame. It had several sets of stained glass panelled doors. Josh inched open the set closest to him and stopped dead.
He recognised the music as one of his background tracks. Two bars into it and he knew it was the intro for “Stuck in the Middle with You.” He spotted Caroline’s trademark grey skirt the instant he’d entered the room, and his heart seized with the knowledge she was fine. Josh folded his arms and watched the sight in front of him. Most of the women were in a row with their backs to him, all bent over slightly. Behind the row of women, another woman stood watching their backsides and shouting instructions. It took Josh a minute to figure out that she was teaching them to twerk.
“You’re doing it all wrong,” the short blond shouted. “Your bums are supposed to jiggle up and down, not side to side. No, Shona, not like that. You don’t bend your knees. You look like you’re doing squats. Haven’t any of you seen Miley Cyrus doing this on TV?”
“Who is Miley Cyrus?” one of the women shouted.
“She’s a singer. Young. Trashy. Making bad decisions she’ll regret when she’s older.”
Josh followed the answer to his mother and groaned. He wished he’d never looked. The last thing he wanted was an image of his mother shaking her ass in the air. It would be stuck in his brain forever. Like a landmine in his mind, ready to go off any time he stumbled onto it.
“I don’t understand,” Caroline said. “Why am I doing this?”
Josh started to grin. She sounded confused and totally blitzed.
“For fun,” said the backside beside Caroline. With its tight jeans and long legs, it could only belong to Kirsty.
Josh felt the air shift as someone came up beside him. He glanced over to see Lake relax his grip on the revolver in his hand.
“Tell me I’m not seeing this,” Lake said. “I’ll never be able to un-see it.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“That’s it,” the commandant instructor shouted. “Jiggle those behinds.”
There was lots of giggling as someone started singing. Josh’s eyes shot to the raised stage where the band would play. His smile disappeared. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Crap,” Lake said beside him as Danny launched into song.
Josh clenched his fists tight. “I thought he was gone. I thought you had a man watching her. This garbage isn’t supposed to happen.”
“I rang my guy. He said you were here with the women and he’d gone home. I didn’t realise he meant your double was here. I thought he meant you. I was just pissed he’d up and gone without checking it was okay to leave.”
“I’m not happy.”
“No shit,” Lake said.
“Time to shut this down.”
Josh headed for the stereo someone had dragged into the room, while Lake headed for the singing stalker. Josh pulled the plug from the socket and there was silence—for about a second.
“Hey,” shouted the instructor. “Put the music back on, we’re twerking here.”
The other women straightened and turned around as Josh strode towards Caroline. She was flushed, bewildered and clutching a bottle of champagne. He took the bottle off her and handed it to Kirsty, who looked a little annoyed until she spotted the death grip Lake had on Danny’s upper arm. “Oh hell,” she muttered.
“Did you bring my clothes?” Caroline leaned in to him.
She was trying to stand tall, no doubt aiming for that intimidating posture she loved so much. Unfortunately, the fact she was swaying meant she couldn’t pull it off.
“They’re at the front door.” Josh held on to her arm. “The wide open front door.”
Caroline looked at Kirsty. “We forgot to shut the door.” She didn’t seem bothered.
Kirsty shrugged; she wasn’t bothered either. Josh resisted the urge to knock their heads together.
“You let in a stalker.” Josh put his hands on his hips and waited for an explanation.
The rest of the women moved towards Caroline as though to rally around her. He narrowed his eyes at them. Caroline’s gaze swept the room, looking for the stalker. When it hit Danny, she made a little O shape with her lips.
“We didn’t let him in. We kept him to the garden. Danny wants to sing at the wedding. We were auditioning him.”
The women nodded.
“With your butts in the air?” Josh said.
Kirsty bit back a laugh, and he glared at her.
Caroline leaned towards him as though she was imparting a grave secret. “He’s not really a stalker. He’s more like a pet.”
Kirsty nodded. “Like a puppy who wants to please us.”
“And he’s not a bad singer,” one of the women said.
“Although not as good as you are,” another said.
“I’m not sure about that,” the first said. Her face lit up. “Maybe we should have a sing-off—get them both going and judge who’s the best?”
There was a cheer of enthusiasm from a group of tipsy middle-aged women. Josh heard a cough and looked over to Lake. “Are you dealing with that?” Josh pointed at Danny.
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“I called the local cop. He’s on his way.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you, dude,” Danny called out to him. “I just want to be part of the festivities. This is a big day for us. We’re getting married. It’ll change the whole act.”
Josh counted to ten and gritted his teeth. Caroline caught the action and turned to Danny.
“Sh!” she said in a stage whisper. “Josh doesn’t like it when you think you’re part of his life.”
Lake coughed again. Danny’s shoulders slumped, and he practically pouted. All the women melted.
“Oh, the poor wee thing,” one of them said. “Don’t be so hard on the boy. He only wants to be like his idol.”
“See?” Kirsty said. “Just like a puppy.”
Josh worked at keeping a tight rein on his temper. He was counting to ten in Spanish when he heard a car roll up. A minute later, Officer Donaldson strolled into the room.
“You.” He pointed at Danny. “Back of the car.” Lake pushed Danny in Donaldson’s direction. “Put these on and lock yourself in.” The cop handed Danny a set of cuffs as he passed him.
Danny’s shoulders slumped even further as he took the cuffs, his feet dragging across the newly laid wooden dance floor.
Caroline pouted. “Are the cuffs really necessary?”
Donaldson gave her an even look. “Last time I drove him out of town, he gave an impromptu concert in the back of the car and smacked me on the head twice while performing. He’s getting cuffed this time.”
The women glared at the cop before following Danny with pity in their eyes.
“Your singing was great,” one of the women shouted.
“I’d hire you in a minute,” another called.
Danny gave a small smile and a little bow, then cuffed himself and walked to the car.
“Idiot. He should have cuffed himself after he opened the door. I hope he can get in the car like that.” Donaldson shook his head.
Lake came up to stand beside Josh and the cop. As though they’d been trained to do it, the three men folded their arms across their chests and glared at the women. One or two of them shuffled on the spot. Caroline pushed her shoulders back and looked ready to fight. Kirsty bit her bottom lip, and it looked like his mother was about to make a break for it. There was a long silence.
“Does anyone else’s bum hurt from all that exercise?” one of the women said.
And they all burst out laughing. They were holding each other up and wiping their eyes. Caroline was giggling but trying hard not to, which made Kirsty laugh even louder. Josh turned to the men beside him. “No point lecturing them tonight.”
“Nope,” Lake said with a grin.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow about security. Especially Caroline’s bodyguard,” Josh said.
“That guy is gone. He can kiss his security career goodbye. I’ll put someone else on her tomorrow.”
Josh nodded. They were still going to talk.
Donaldson turned to Lake. “How many you got room for?”
“Four.”
“I’ll take the rest.” He turned to Josh. “I assume you’re taking care of Caroline.”
Oh yeah, he was going to take care of Caroline, all right.
Lake grinned again. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s round them up.”
They walked towards the hysterical women. Josh cupped the back of Caroline’s head, and she stopped laughing long enough to look up at him. “How much have you had to drink?”
She frowned as though concentrating really hard. “I don’t know.”
“Have you had anything to eat?”
“Cake.” She smiled proudly.
Josh sighed. “I’m taking Caroline and my mother into the kitchen; the rest of you are being escorted home.”
“Can I go in the police car?” someone shouted.
“No, I want to go in the police car with officer hotpot,” Kirsty’s mum said.
“It’s not hotpot, it’s hotshot. Hotpot is a casserole,” Kirsty told her.
Josh watched as an argument broke out amongst the women.
“It’s not fair,” his mother mumbled. “I don’t get to go in the police car.”
Josh rolled his eyes, grabbed his mum and Caroline by the elbows and marched them towards the house. He wasn’t sure the other two could cope with the rest of the women, but they were on their own. He had enough to deal with.
Caroline’s head was swimming. Everything seemed interesting and fresh. The stars were so sparkly. The grass crisp beneath her feet. The air brisk against her skin. What little skin was on show. She was overdressed. What she really wanted was to feel the cool night air all over her body. She reached up and popped open a couple of buttons on her blouse. That was better. Vaguely, she wondered if there was a pool at the castle. She didn’t think there was. They needed a pool. When she was queen of the castle, she’d put in a pool. She started to giggle again.
Josh looked down at her. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t seem angry, either. His eyes dropped briefly to her blouse, and he shook his head with a resigned smile. Caroline suddenly felt even warmer. She reached up and popped another button open. Josh’s eyes went dark.
When they reached the kitchen door, Josh ushered his mother inside.
Caroline stopped dead outside the door. “I don’t want to go in there. I want to stay out here with all this lovely fresh air.”
Josh frowned at her. “You need to eat.”
“I’ll eat here. Get me some food.” Caroline plopped onto one of the reclining wooden chairs on the patio, grateful that no one had taken the thick blue cushions in for the night.
“Yes, ma’am, right away, ma’am,” Josh muttered as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Caroline tugged her blouse off. She still felt too stuffy. So she removed her skirt too. That was better. With a sigh, she lost herself in the vista overhead, unaware of just how long she’d spent staring at the sky until Josh appeared beside her again. He crouched down and held out a plate with crackers, cheese and grapes.
“I see you lost your clothes.”
“I was too hot.”
His lips twitched. “Nice underpants.”
Caroline lifted her head to look down her body. Minnie Mouse stared up at her. “They were on sale. There’s nothing wrong with Minnie Mouse.”
“Nothing at all,” he said solemnly.
It was so unfair that his lips were fuller than hers. She wanted to reach out and trace his upper lip, feel the curve of the bow dip against her finger. Feel his breath on her skin. Her gaze skimmed along the strong line of his jaw, over cheekbones most models would kill for and up to those electric eyes. They crinkled at the edges, letting her know that she was amusing him again. She sighed heavily. Just when had she become so darned funny?
“Do you wear coloured contacts?”
He blinked hard before giving her a lazy grin. “No, baby, my eyes are real. Like the rest of me.”
She was pretty sure that there was innuendo in there somewhere, but it went over her head. Her hand reached out and skimmed over his shoulder. She felt the muscles ripple and tense under her fingertips. It made her shift restlessly in her seat.
“Eat.” He pressed a grape to her lips.
She did as she was told, opening her mouth for him to feed her. She ran the tip of her tongue over his thumb before he released the grape. Josh let out a low groan. Caroline’s breath quickened. “Would you take off your T-shirt if I asked you to?”
Josh chuckled.
“I won’t do anything to offend you,” she said haughtily. “I only want to look at your muscles. You have more than you deserve, seeing as you live on burgers and only run when you’re being chased.”
Another chuckle. “I’m not stripping for you, Caroline.”
She pouted, pulling herself up from her reclining position to sit on the edge of the chair. Her knees bumped Josh’s, and he put the plate he was holding down on the tile beneath them.
“Why not?”
; “Because stripping will lead to touching, and you’re in no state for touching.”
She poked him in the chest. Ooh, it felt good. She flattened her palm against him and smoothed it over his pecs and down to his stomach. The frustration of the past few days grew within her. “Touching is a good idea. I like it. Let’s touch some more.”
Her other hand joined the one that was on Josh’s stomach. She watched as the two of them made their way up to his shoulders. How was it possible to get so excited about shoulders? She’d read almost all the sex books she’d stolen—sorry, borrowed—from the library, and not one of them mentioned shoulders. Mainly they mentioned…
Her gaze dropped to the front of Josh’s jeans, which were looking very tight. She’d slept beside him for three nights now and she still hadn’t seen him out of his underwear. Maybe he didn’t want her to see him? Maybe something was wrong?
Josh’s shoulders started to shake under her fingertips. She looked up to find he was silently laughing at her. She frowned. “It’s not nice to laugh at me.”
“Baby,” he said in that deep voice of his. The one that rumbled through her body. “You’re staring at my—”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t say that word. It’s a rude word.”
He laughed against her finger. Caroline ignored him, once again distracted by the bulge at the front of his jeans. She’d felt it against her, but she hadn’t seen it. Or touched it. Surely if there wasn’t a problem he’d want to show it to her?
“Is there something wrong with you? Something you don’t want me to know?”
Her eyes went wide. She’d read the chapters on sexual dysfunction, so she knew what could go wrong. She leaned closer to him so she could whisper. “Are you having problems down there?” She took one hand off his shoulder and pointed at his crotch. She blushed. “I read about this. There are things you can do if your, um, uh, equipment isn’t working properly. I can lend you the books.” She cringed. “Once I’ve taken them back to the library.”
She felt inordinately proud of herself. There. She’d done it. She’d talked about sex. She beamed at Josh. He shook his head slowly as a huge grin lit up his face. “I don’t have any problems with my equipment. It’s functioning perfectly fine.”
Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2) Page 21