Crow Of Thorns

by Richard Mosses

  “Thank you, Shaman. Our deal is agreed.”

  I crawl back toward the tunnel and the mouth of the glacier. Behind me I hear the elementals swarm down to the pool. I imagine them diving in, revelling in my life's blood.

  “Quick.” Corbie pecks at me. “Imagine yourself back in your body. Now.”

  I imagine myself back at my tent and feel the rush as I flow back through tundra, taiga, savannah and jungle, past the Tree of Life and home to my body.

  My arm is whole, there is no cut, but it is blue and the thumb tip is numb from frost bite. I need to get warm. I try to stand but my legs are dead. There is tingling in my toes. I am thrown by a deep shiver. Making it upright, I stumble to the stairs and eventually, leaning on bins and lampposts along the way, get back to the café.

  Sindi knows something is wrong straight away and helps me to a seat. My feet, hands and arm start to come back to life and I cry out startling the other customers. A hot towel is brought to me and I wrap my hands in it. A cup of tea is left in front of me while the paying clientele are placated. I try to lift it with my good arm, but my grip is so unsteady I think twice about spilling hot tea on myself.

  “What have you been doing to yourself?” Sindi sits down opposite me. Her boss, the cook, hovers in the background.

  “I don't want you getting into any trouble on my account.”

  “Let me worry about that, will you?”

  “I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go.”

  “I told you, don't worry about it.”

  A deep shiver racks through me. “If it at all works out, then I've saved a few people.”

  “At what cost? You're no use to anyone dead. We should get you to the hospital. You should be wearing some proper clothes in this weather too. I've not seen you in this get up before.”

  “Everything has a price. It's just a question of whether you're prepared to pay it.” I feel able to lift the mug of tea in my hands. The liquid almost scalds me on the way down and the heat in my stomach makes me start, but soon it spreads out. My hands and toes continue to tingle but the pain starts to subside. There is a large white blister on my thumb where I had cut myself in Frost's cavern. “I'm a shaman, Sindi. This is my uniform.”

  “You speak to spirits, huh? What does my Great Aunt Mhairi want?”

  I laugh. “I'm not a spiritualist, but she wants you to go back to work before you get fired in a difficult jobs climate.” Even I can tell that a few customers want to place an order, which at least means I haven't scared them away.

  After a while the tingling in my hands subsides and my arm gets some use back in it. There's still a nagging itching in my feet and I'll have to be careful with them. I order a hot sandwich and start to feel human again after nearly two hours in the café. Corbie hasn't said a word, just sat and looked at me. I don't know if he's trying to see something or if he doesn't want me to appear mad by talking to myself in public.

  I go to the loo, surprised and pleased I can stand up ok. On the back of that success I feel ready to go back to the tunnel and move my tent deeper into it.

  Janice is back in the camp. “Thanks for looking after Brutus. I hope he wasn't too much trouble.”

  “No. He was fine. Are you sure you won't come down into the tunnel, just for the night.”

  “No, Nik. This pitch is all I have. I saw what happened when you left. I'll be fine. How much fucking colder can it get?”

  I've nearly killed myself to help prove them right. “I got a tea recipe for you. Sorry I've not had a chance to get the ingredients.” I tell her which herbs Midori recommended.

  What have I got myself into? Should I have used some kind of protection? If my blood can be consumed in the spirit world then maybe my sperm is viable too?

  It is hard to do some of the fine movements I need to move the tent – lifting out and resetting guy lines and pitons. Not strictly necessary with internal frame tents, but they add some stability. I arrange some of the large cardboard boxes I got from the supermarket over the tent like I'm building a fort. It is a bit shaky but hopefully will add another insulating layer. In my current condition I really should call Rachael, even Kathryn, and beg some crash space for a couple of nights, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Although after last night I really ought to call Rachael back anyway, but she'll still be teaching right now. I need to stay to see if this works, if the loss was worth it. I don't know if the spirits will include where I am when it comes to keeping it cool rather than Baltic.

  Corbie is still following me around like a lost duckling when he breaks his unusual silence. “I'm really proud of you. You know that right?”

  “For what? Fucking a tree woman? Asking aliens to invade the Living World to cure a dead man? Being the bitch of some kinked spirits?”

  “Shut up and take a compliment for once,” he says. “I'm proud of how you may not have taken to this life like a duck to water, but you made it your own. You've shown real initiative, real courage, not pussied out on makin real sacrifice. I didn't know if you'd make it, but I think you're gonna do great.”

  “Well, thanks.” I don't know what else to say. I hadn't expected this from Corbie.

  “I don't think you need me anymore,” he says.

  “What?” I'm surprised at how this brings a sudden lump to my throat, a panicked shock. It's like being dumped for the first time, out of the blue. “Let's not be too hasty. Someone needs to stop me dropping atomic bombs in the spirit world. I'm sure there's plenty you still have to show me.”

  “I got nothin you can't find out for yourself. You've already found places I didn't even know existed. You don't really need me to point you to the Diaspora of Hells and Heavens, the Desert of Dreams, or the Seelie Court.”

  “Okay, that may be true,” I say. “But who can I talk to about all this?”

  “You've already been getting friendly with the locals.”

  “Very droll. We both know I can't really trust her.”

  “I'll catch up with you from time to time. Now go get some totem spirits on your side.”

  “Gotta catch em all.”

  “I'll see you around,” Corbie says.

  “It's been good working with you.”

  I check through my things. I need to make sure I have as much fuel, water and insulation that I can get. I check through it again. I'm as prepared for tonight as I'm going to be. I check in with the work systems. Perhaps there's something I can do there. In theory the servers are insulated from the outside world, and usually the issue is if it gets too hot. It's unlikely there are any water pipes that might burst going through or over those rooms and if so I don't know which idiot designed the building that way or at least left them going through there when they put the computers in.

  I check the news and there are plenty of shaky handheld images of the jellyfish. I should check in on Stevie, see how he's doing. There's a few articles talking about how Arctic it's going to be tonight and tomorrow. Then my stomach hits the floor. There I am on Alba Today looking like a right eejit. A short film clip under the heading “Whatever Happened to the Shaman?” A couple of jokes from the studio host about Mr C back in the nineties and a brief bit about how the neon jellyfish is being blamed on my casting spells by the local campers and most of my interview. I pray to God that no one watches this. Especially anyone who employs me. How could she do this to me? We had an agreement. I'm not so worried about the publicity. I met more than a few reporters when everything crashed. I need my job or I'm royally fucked. I want to punch something. Preferably a reporter's face.

  My face is hot and almost seconds after Corbie's left I have no one to turn to. My thumb throbs and my toes are still tingling. At least I can feel them now. I'd love just to throw it all in and walk away, but this is all I have now, isn't it? It's taken over. But how do I make a living from being a shaman?

  Maybe I can become a minor celebrity, have a few turns on some reality shows, a book deal, a photo shoot in a bikini. Come back to my tunnel in between tim
es and keep some ingrates from killing themselves.

  Rachael calls. I hesitate then accept. “Aren't you at work?”

  “It's playtime. Besides, I just saw you on the TV. Glad to see you're still alive, although that explains you hanging up on me.”

  “I didn't hang up. EM radiation from the aliens must have knocked the call out. You watch Alba Today?”

  “Never heard of it,” Rachael says. “You're on the BBC.”

  Fuck. “A big thing or a soundbite?” I pick up my laptop and load the site. There's another article there. How can anyone not spot this?

  “It was a couple of minutes.”

  I see they've mirrored the same video. Isn't there some rule about copying people's stuff? I'm sure the BBC couldn't afford to license another company's news or need to. “I sure hope my bosses don't see it.”

  “You looked fine. A little odd maybe, but we all know you're that.”

  “I'm supposed to be at work. How would you feel if someone interviewed you in a pub when you were supposed to be off sick?”

  “Shit. I thought you just kind of worked from home.”

  “As a backup, yeah.”

  “I'm sure it'll be fine. They'll have a laugh, give you a warning. Nothing more serious than that.”

  “I hope so.” I want to explain how nervous this makes me. I want to talk about Corbie leaving. I wish I could ask her for a bed for the night.

  “Where were we before we got interrupted?”

  “That seems like a long long time ago. I think you were going to track me down and kill me if I left the country. I off course disappear into other worlds on a regular basis, but I hope you realise that's part of the package.”

  “Man with tent, talking invisible animal and a tendency to visit other worlds. It's a singles ad that writes itself.”

  “I really should get round to updating my status to 'It's Complicated'.”

  “Not to 'Seeing someone'?”

  “After the weekend I wasn't sure I was.”

  “I promised you time. It's my own fault if I moved too fast.”

  I don't know how I'm going to juggle Midori's feelings. Is it even possible? I committed myself to trying to get back in touch with the real world, but the spirit world has its thorns in me. Maybe I don't need Midori as an ally, but I sure as hell don't want her as an enemy. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this situation. There are some people who wouldn't care, would take their cake and eat it. I just can't do that. Now that Midori is as real to me as Kathryn and the kids I can't treat her any differently. “That's kind of what I'd hoped to talk to you about. Should have talked to you about it on Saturday. My situation isn't easy in either world, but over there I got into some trouble. My trust was taken advantage of and I was hurt, physically. Well, it felt physical. That's why I wasn't myself. It was a serious attack and I tried to just leave it behind but this stuff follows me back into the Living World.”

  “What happened?”

  “I was trying to find a cure for Stevie's cancer and some spirits told me they could help. They chose to demonstrate their proposed surgery techniques on me without asking first.”

  “Are you wounded? Do you need to visit a hospital?”

  “In my body I'm fine. I've not noticed any problems in the spirit world either. Maybe I shouldn't tell you about these things. No point getting you upset.”

  “If it's going to affect us, if you come back hurt, then I should know. Is there anything else?”

  “I may lose a thumb from frost bite, and a creature stole my memory, but I think I got most of it back.”

  “Since Saturday?”

  “I don't remember anything else.”

  “You need to slow down a bit or you'll be dead by next week. I'm sure the powers that be aren't interested in you not being alive to do your job.”

  “The spirits are very hungry.”

  “A few scraps may be better than nothing. You don't owe them a feast. You're the one in charge.”

  “I'll remember to boss them around when I next go over there.”

  “Too right.” I hear the bell go in the background. “I should go.”

  “Thanks for calling.”

  “Maybe we can catch up properly at the weekend.” She hangs up.

  I could go to the office now. Make sure everything will be okay in person. Part of me says that will make me appear guilty. I should carry on and if something happens, react to that.

  I don't know what to do about the press. We did get some training when things turned bad in my old job, but just a few minutes. I don't know if it's better to face it head on or hope it just goes away as the wacky story of the day.

  Out in the tunnel it doesn't seem so cold. It probably helps that I moved into the middle. As I head towards the entrance though it still feels warmer than it did yesterday. There's no frost on the platform and the snow in the middle is forming pools around the ruined plants. I go up to the park and the ground is spongy with water. It's still daytime; this could be the warm front before the storm. They really will hang me for a sorcerer if the coldest night ever only happens outside the park gates. I guess that's another thing I'll leave worrying about until it happens.

  I had anticipated a long day of work. It's mid-afternoon and I've nothing to do. I'm as ready as I'm going to be. All I need to do now is have a hot dinner and it's too soon for that. I could go spend time with Midori, try and ease my way out of that difficulty, or even find the aliens and thank them for their help, but I feel it will be better to keep what reserves my sparse body has for tonight.

  I return to my tent and try to read, check on the servers, run a few system checks, make sure my equipment is as charged up as possible and that my stove is still working. Eventually I feel it is late enough to eat. It's starting to stay light for longer. I feel embarrassed to go to the café after my scene there earlier so I get a couple of supersized burger meals, something I wouldn't normally have without the kids to help eat them and Kathryn to help pay for them. I'm so full after that I feel uncomfortable and have to resist the urge to walk it off.

  Byres Road is cold and dark, but I feel the difference as soon as I enter the Gardens. It is much warmer here. I open my coat to prevent a build-up of sweat. The plumbing is working again in the toilet block. I don't need to crawl into my sleeping bag as it's still quite pleasant in my tent. I watch the damn footage of myself too many times. I look like a right idiot and sound worse.

  Chapter 20

  At some point I fall asleep, soundly too, as my alarm wakes me. I'm half in half out of my sleeping bag, like it's summer. My thumb aches and it looks a bit black near the tip. I'll go to work and then see about getting it looked at by a medic. I know I'm going to lose it – at least to the first joint. It's going to make typing weird for a while.

  Outside the air is crisp and damp. There's no snow anywhere in the Gardens and the tent city looks more like it has seen a downpour than a freeze. All the cars in Queen Margaret Drive have a thick rind of frost on them. Grime coated snow banks still separate the parking spaces from the road proper. The dome of the Kibble Palace is frost free. The toilet block is functioning, the water cool but not bracing.

  I'm pleased that it has worked, even if it is only for one night. I don't think anyone could explain this away as a unique microclimate. Passing through the gates is like moving into another world. It is harsh in Glasgow, like the arctic cave I met Frost in. Inside the Gardens it is almost tropical in comparison. You could get thermal shock jumping between the two.

  On my way to work I see that a number of my neighbours are alive and coping with an unexpected sogginess. I try not laugh as really it's all my fault.

  I can't bring myself to open the email. It sits there, the little icon a pristine envelope. The first line preview says almost all of it.

  Dear Mr Munro,

  We would like you to attend a performance review meeting on Friday at 11am in

  Performance review, eh? How well I did in front of the cameras w
ill be critiqued. Will the benefits agency accept “Tunnel in the Botanic Gardens” as a suitable home address? At least I won't need any heating or lighting. I'll do a deal with some elementals and they'll keep me right. Soon as I work out what an information spirit looks like and how I can communicate with it I'll get my internet access upgraded. So all I need to worry about is food. Guess I can sort out my own hydroponics system or something like that. Convince some plant spirits to help me out with that. Who needs the real world?

  I do my diagnostics and a close visual inspection of the server room in case of leaks or worse some frost forming overnight as water condensed on cold metals and plastic. It's all clear though because I've done my job and looked after this place. It hasn't gone down once on my watch.

  In the A&E at the Western I wait behind dozens of people who all caught mild frostbite or don't know what chilblains are. The doctor looks at my thumb. The black blister is getting larger. Apparently it's only second degree frost bite and I'll be fine in a month. As is often the case I'm made to feel like I wasted someone's time. I know I wasted mine. At least it doesn't hurt.

  What do I do with myself? The immediate crisis has been taken care of. I think I need to thank a few people. Not least Corbie. It would be good to see how Stevie is doing. I walk through an icy world, a long and cautious journey, to Gartnavel Hospital and then to the Beatson Centre round the back.

  The reception is bright and cheerful without overdoing it. I hesitate before asking. What if Glinda took him someplace else? I'm sure there's a private clinic they could afford. What if Stevie is angry with me for bringing his family back to him? I'd be overjoyed to see mine, but he stayed away for years. He was dead to them. Were they dead to him? Did he spy on them to see how they were doing?

  Stevie is in Ward B1. I'm out of visiting hours but they let me in anyway. They recognise me from the news which is embarrassing as it gives me some kind of minor celebrity status.

  Stevie is awake and reading from a tablet. There's a still frame of me under a headline. He laughs when he sees me. “Hey big man, how you doing?”