Johnnie

by Dorothy B. Hughes

  “Keep quiet about your uniform,” said Magda through a mouthful of dress. “How can I go about getting Ferenz over here? That’s the trouble. He’s so full of good manners he won’t walk out on his party. And he didn’t want to see Rudolph in the first place. He made the best of it, that’s Ferenz, but he didn’t like it.” Her mouth was empty now. “Well, why don’t you say something.”

  “I want my suit,” Johnnie said.

  “Your suit! You worry about a suit when I have this to contend with!” She was quiet for a spell and then she said, “You can turn around now, Johnnie. I’m decent. But think, how can I make Ferenz come? It’s got to be good.”

  She was more than decent. She was a thriller. Yellow slacks, yellow sweater, black velvet coat and sandals. She was rolling a yellow chiffon handkerchief to tie around her black hair.

  Johnnie had a brainstorm. “Business,” he stated.

  “What business?”

  “Tell him it’s business. Tell him there’s a new war started, lots of business for him.”

  She whirled from the dressing table. “Darling!” She plastered a kiss on his yellow cowlick.

  “Don’t do that!” Johnnie murmured, not loud.

  She dipped some more magnolia perfume, touched her chin. “But of course. That will bring him. Why didn’t I think of it before? I’ll tell him there’s a revolution broken out in Rudamia. We just heard it over short wave. We need his help. He’ll have to come then. Rudamia’s royal family owes him too much money to let the country go Bolshie.”

  There was a white phone by her bed. She stretched herself full length on the fluffy white coverlet. Johnnie gazed at the rug. She was made for sweaters, or maybe she wasn’t. He lit a cigarette.

  She said, “It’s most important that I speak to Mr. Lessering, Shanks. Call him at once.” Her voice stroked the space between the bed and Johnnie. “Whoever you are, you’re a lamb and a love. I don’t know why Dorp didn’t bring you around sooner. Why don’t you come over here?” She patted the edge of the bed. There wasn’t room for a toothpick on that side of it.

  Johnnie felt his ears turn scarlet. He just shook his head.

  “You’re a darling. Hello—hello—Ferenz, Magda.” Her voice became throaty, conspiratorial. “We’ve just heard the most awful news. Rudamia has revolted against the Nazis. Bolshies. You’ll have to come over at once. I know but this is important. Don’t you understand? We must decide what to do about Rudolph. We can’t send him into that and we don’t dare keep him here. No! Don’t tell Ruprecht—he’d just upset Rudolph.” She nodded her gorgeous head, smiled at Johnnie. “Yes, Furry. You do understand? You will come? Angel! Hurry!” She replaced the phone and stretched her arms above her head. She laughed. She reminded Johnnie of a leopard he’d seen once at the circus. She looked at Johnnie between those foot long eyelashes. “You don’t want to come over here?”

  Johnnie breathed deeply. “Not now.” He breathed some more. “I really haven’t time. I have a date downtown I’m late for.” He’d get back to Trudy, find out what she’d done with the uniform, and he’d skip out fast. Before anything more happened. He wasn’t used to babes like this one.

  “You’ll have to break it.” She leaned on an elbow. “But I had better get downstairs and tell them Ferenz is coming. We’ll have to plan an attack. The dirty bum. Snatching those papers.” She patted the yellow chiffon back in place. “He isn’t easy to work on. Come along, Johnnie.”

  He waited until she had the door open before he moved. He didn’t want to get any nearer than that to her. His neck was damp enough. She didn’t speak again until she reached the door of the throne room. “Go down and tell Trudy he’s coming so she’ll wait for him.” She patted his cheek. “You’re sweet as well as smart, Johnnie.”

  He ducked down the flight to first but fast. This was the break. Tell Trudy. Trade her the papers for his uniform and beat it.

  She was sitting on the straight chair, a deserted white cherub. He said, “Everything’s under control, baby. Ferenz is coming.”

  She jumped up. “What for?”

  “I forgot. You don’t know.” He glanced upstairs. No one in sight. He lowered his voice. “Anyone hear us?” She motioned him down on the steps, sat beside him. “They think Ferenz took the papers.” He patted his left upper pocket. “So Magda’s called him up and told him there’s a revolution on in Rudamia and he’d better get over and decide what to do with Rudo. Only there isn’t any revolution. We sort of thought it up together,” he admitted modestly. He talked fast under his breath. “When he gets here they’re going to try to get the papers. Only he hasn’t them.” He stuck his hand toward his pocket. “Where’s my uniform? I got to be going now so you’d better take these and—”

  “Going?” Her blue eyes were rubber balls.

  “Sure. I told you. Or I’ve told everybody else. I got a date.”

  “You can’t go now. It’s too late.”

  “It is late,” he admitted. “But Bill and Hank kind of expect me not to turn up on time. They’ll keep looking. Where’s my suit?”

  “I mean you don’t dare go. They’d nab you if you left now.” Her hand touched him. “Listen, Johnnie, you don’t think they’re going to let anyone leave here, not until the papers turn up, do you?”

  He stuck out his chin. “Then I’ll give them the damn papers.”

  “You can’t do that!” She put her face up to his. “How are you going to explain where you got them?”

  “You gave them to me.”

  “Do you think they’d believe you? A—a strange Soldier—? When I said that it was all a big lie?”

  He leaned just a little bit closer and he kissed her. Like that. She jerked back. He said, “You’re cute, baby. Even if you are a stinker.”

  “I’m no baby. I’m no stinker either. Johnnie,” she softened up again, “the cleaner hasn’t sent your suit yet so you’ll have to stick around just a little longer. It’ll be here by the time we get Rudolph on his way, I’m sure. You can stay that long.”

  “I cannot,” he denied. “Why can’t I go around to the cleaner’s myself?”

  Her face fell. “Johnnie!” She whispered it. “With the F. B. I. watching the house?”

  “They’re not,” he moaned.

  She nodded. “Come here.” He followed her on tiptoe to the front door. She pulled aside the shirred curtain covering the glass. He peered over her head where she pointed. “See that man across there in the shadows? There—in the door of that house.”

  He squinted. He could see flickering shadows. It might be a man.

  “He’s been there all evening. He’s either F. B. I. or he’s one of the Young Terrorists.”

  “What are they?” he asked hoarsely.

  “They’re an organization avowed to end the Ruffeni reign in Rudamia. They’d as soon kill you as look at you.” Her eyes held fright. She scuttled back to her chair. “You don’t dare appear out in that uniform.”

  “But—” He followed her to the steps, sank down. “But they let us go out earlier.”

  “Safety in numbers,” she nodded sagely. “Anyone who goes out alone is simply walking straight up the gallows.” She added more cheerfully, “Whether that man’s a Terroristi or an F. B. I.”

  He was stuck. Plenty stuck. He sighed down to his toes. It was late. Getting on to eleven. Bill and Hank might not be looking for him. They’d probably picked up a couple of cute chicks themselves by now. He hadn’t told Dorp off, either. And he would like to know what it was all about. Mom and Dad and the kids would pass right out from curiosity when he wrote them about tonight if he didn’t know any more than he knew now. He decided. “I guess I’ll stick around for a while.”

  “Good.” She brightened. “I’ll probably need your help to get Rudolph out of here.”

  “Just till my suit gets back,” he warned her. He tipped his head with curiosity. “Tell me something. Why did you snatch those papers?”

  “I want to examine them.”

  �
�Let’s.” His hand dived but she pulled it away from his pocket fast.

  “Not here!” She whispered, “I’ll arrange it so we can slip out after Ferenz gets here. You keep them until then. They’re safer on you than me. No one would suspect you of having them. A Rudamian patriot.”

  “Is that what I’m supposed to be?” he asked.

  “That’s what you are tonight,” she told him with emphasis. “And don’t forget it. Not till I can take over the papers. You’d better go back up now and see what’s going on. If there’s any funny business, let me know.”

  It was all funny business as far as he was concerned. He didn’t say so; he just grinned, “A’right, honey.”

  She ducked this time.

  He drawled, “I need target practice. Be seeing you, sugar. And don’t forget, let me know as soon as my suit gets here.” He went on up the stairs. He didn’t knock at the throne room, just moseyed in. Nobody paid any attention to him. The S. S. boys were all back at attention, standing around. Dorp and Ottomkopf and Magda were in a huddle by the throne. She was sitting on it; Rudolph wasn’t around. Johnnie picked an inconspicuous far corner chair and sat down to rest. The guard shielded him from the three big shots and he could hear plenty. Dorp didn’t know how to talk below a shout.

  “I still cannot believe it was Ferenz,” he was yelling. “Think of the money he has put up! Why would he steal the papers which cost so much to procure?”

  Magda said, “But Ruprecht wouldn’t want them. I tell you he doesn’t want to be king. All he wants is to stay in New York and drink and rhumba.”

  “In the German Army this could not have happened,” Ottomkopf stated nastily. “It is this untrained guard you have.”

  “You try to do better,” Dorp shouted. “In Germany I could do better but here—how can I train with what I have to train—”

  Johnnie didn’t like this talk of Germany. He knew now he wasn’t going to leave until he’d told off Dorp and Ottomkopf in full.

  “If you two don’t get together,” Magda stated, “at least until Rudolph’s out of the way, I’m going to walk out right now. You just try to manage him without me!”

  “Now, Magda,” Dorp began.

  Ottomkopf puffed, “That is not fair, Magda. You have give your word you would help us if we—”

  The door opened. The guard stiffened. Trudy announced sweetly, “Here he is.” Ferenz bounded into the room.

  He was wringing his plump pink hands. “Magda, but this is unbearable, dear. When everything was so perfect—”

  “Sit down, Ferenz.” She pointed to a chair ringed with the guards. “I’ll tell you all about it. Get Rudolph, will you, Trudy?”

  “Where is he?”

  “He’s taking a bath,” Magda gritted.

  Trudy departed. Unobtrusively a part of the guard reformed until they blocked the doorway.

  “Now tell me, dear,” Ferenz breathed. “What did you hear? It is execrable that right now—why, I had the word of every leader!”

  Magda rested her head against the chair. “I lied to you, Ferenz. There’s no revolution.”

  The big man jumped up. He squealed, “No revolution! Why then—”

  “Sit down, dear,” she repeated softly. “We want to talk to you.”

  She wasn’t depending on glamorous persuasion. She held her gun pointed directly at Ferenz’s stomach.

  2.

  Magda continued, “Captain Janssen’s men are here to see that you do sit down, Ferenz. That’s better.”

  Ferenz fell back in the chair. He was shaking like a jitterbug. He stuttered, “Mmmmmmagda! I don’t understand this.”

  She tucked the gun back into her jacket pocket. “You will. Tonight at your house, someone stole the papers that Rudolph must have to cross the Rudamian border. We want to know why.”

  “Mmmmmagda!”

  Her eyes glittered. “We want to know why.”

  “But Magda, I know nothing about any papers—”

  Rudolph came pushing through the crowd. Trudy wasn’t with him. He had on a purple satin bathrobe with a gold crown on the pocket, purple velvet bedroom slippers with gold heels. His legs were skinny. “Ferenz, why did you take my papers?” he demanded.

  “I don’t know anything about it.” Ferenz rolled his eyes. “Why should I take the papers? I want Rudolph to be king. I’m paying for it that he should be king. Why should I take his papers?”

  “Stop beating around the bush,” Magda said sweetly. “They were stolen in your house.”

  “I know nothing of it,” he swore. “I can’t believe it. Have you looked?”

  “They are gone,” Dorp scowled. “Gone before we leave your home.”

  “It wasn’t I,” said Ferenz. He raised a sudden forefinger. “Ruprecht!”

  “That’s who it was,” Rudolph agreed. “That’s exactly who I thought it was. He’s jealous.”

  “Folderol!” Magda snapped. “Rupe doesn’t want to be king any more than Johnnie does.” She glanced around for him. He slid down into the chair and hoped the guy six paces in front of him wouldn’t budge. “You’ll have to come across better than that, Ferenz. If you didn’t do it, who did? Who did you hire to do it? Who was there?”

  “No one there would do it! I tell you that. We’ve been planning ever since you left. After the war we’ll charter two clippers and fly across for the coronation. Oh, we had the sweetest plans, really we did. Everyone wants you to be king, Rudolph.”

  “The servants?” Dorp piped hopefully.

  “They are all utterly loyal,” Ferenz declared with a noble leer. “To me and to Rudamia,” he added.

  Magda sighed. “We’ve had enough of this runaround. Either you turn over the papers, Ferenz, or—” She eyed the guard meaningly. “Or you go upstairs.”

  Ferenz turned green. “Oh no, Magda. You wouldn’t dare do that. Not to me.”

  “I’d dare anything,” she told him, “to be queen.”

  Dorp and Ottomkopf both nodded. Some of the guards shifted uneasily.

  “Magda, dear, I don’t have them,” he wept. “You must believe me. I’ll do anything you can think of to get Rudo away in the morning. Money is no object to me now. All I have spent on Rudo means nothing. Gladly will I spend more. Anything. But I can’t give you the papers. I’ve never even seen them.”

  Johnnie was getting tired of this. Obviously the big guy was telling the truth. Sure he was. The papers were in Johnnie’s own pocket. He wished Trudy would come back. He wished she’d plan that sneak and turn over the damn papers. He was getting sleepy. And he wanted a drink of water.

  Ottomkopf said, “Have you any suggestions, Duchess Magda?”

  “Couldn’t we buy another set?” Ferenz asked eagerly.

  Dorp shook a sad head. “We have worked for three whole weeks getting those papers made so they will pass any inspection.” He looked wary. “I mean so they will not be discovered what they are before he reaches Switzerland. Could I do that again before tomorrow morning? The answer is no.”

  Rudolph dropped ash to the red velvet rug. “Somebody must have them. And I don’t think it’s Ferenz.”

  Ferenz smirked weakly.

  “But this has gone far enough. Whoever has them must give them up. If they don’t—” He tapped his head. “I shall now get dressed. If they do not turn up before I come back I shall—” He tapped harder. “I know what I’ll do. I’ll go straight to Washington to our own government-in-exile. I shall tell them everything.”

  “Not everything!” cried Ferenz, Ottomkopf, Dorp and Magda.

  “Everything!” Rudolph said snippily. “I shall leave to them my safe return to Rudamia—or Mexico.”

  “We could send you back to Mexico tonight,” Ferenz cried eagerly. “That’s safe enough.”

  Rudolph weakened but he pulled himself up again. “Not until after I have talked with our government-in-exile. Unless of course the papers are returned before I finish dressing.” The guard made a wary path for him. He banged the door.
/>   Dorp drooped. “He cannot talk. Not that he knows much.”

  “He knows too much,” Ferenz squealed. “Where will I be if he goes to Washington? The F. B. I. will listen in on all he has to say. Every one of us—”

  Johnnie perked up again. There was something more than squirrel stuff here. They were all afraid of the F. B. I. They weren’t on the up and up. And it wasn’t jewels.

  “I will be ruined,” Ferenz whispered starkly.

  Ottomkopf spoke slowly. “He must not talk.”

  The guards shifted weight again in the silence. Johnnie could see even better now.

  Dorp said, “If only we can find these papers in time.” He turned purple. “That dumkopf. That Theo.”

  “You should not have trusted something that important out of your hands,” Ottomkopf gloated. “You Herrenvolk are all alike, afraid you will be caught at your dirty work. A Prussian would—”

  “Seupreussen!” Dorp screamed again. “Don’t you tell me nothing. How do I know you did not take them yourself just to get me in trouble?”

  Magda ordered, “Stop it. Rudolph’s upstairs now scurrying into his clothes and you—all you can do is call names.” She closed her eyes. “I think I’d better go talk with Rudo.”

  “Yes,” Ottomkopf nodded.

  “That is good,” Dorp beamed. “A little more time we get.”

  Ferenz leaped to his feet. His finger pointed dramatically. His voice was hoarse. “Who is that hiding in the corner?”

  He was pointing directly at Johnnie. The guard had shifted once too often. They widened out now.

  “I’m not hiding,” Johnnie said. “I’m resting.”

  Magda was impatient. “That’s one of Dorp’s men. The one who attended me tonight.”

  Dorp peered. “He is not one of my men. I do not know him. I never have seen him until you bring him downstairs with you tonight. I think that you—”

  Magda turned on him fast. “He is too one of yours. Trudy brought him to my room tonight. She told me—”

  Johnnie stepped up to her. “If you’d have listened to me at the beginning, Magda, I’d have told you I wasn’t one of his men. Instead you kept telling me to keep quiet every time I opened my mouth.” He glared at Dorp. “But you’re wrong on one thing, Pudgey. You did too see me before I came here tonight. I stood right beside you on the subway. I came here purposely to see you. I wanted to tell you we’re in a war. A war against Germany. And when we—that’s Hank and Bill and me and the rest of us—get through with those Nazis, there isn’t going to be anybody talking German. Not unless he wants a kick in the teeth. I came here to tell you that it isn’t patriotic for you to be riding around on the subway talking German like you were tonight. But after some of the other things I’ve heard in your house I guess you don’t care whether it’s patriotic or not. All I hope is that the goon does go to Washington. I think the F. B. I. should know about you folks.”