Johnnie

by Dorothy B. Hughes

  “It was here. Rudolph was in the closet, he didn’t see it. I found it when I came over by the window. It was lying right down there on its face and the suitcase leaning against it. Like this—” He flung down on the rug, sprawled out. “With the hat like this—” He wrinkled his nose, stood up. “That floor smells funny.”

  “Blood?” Avid interest returned to the cop. He knelt, sniffed the boards beyond the rug. He stood up and brushed his knees. “Floor polish.” His voice was flatter.

  “Well, he was here,” Johnnie insisted. “He sure was here.” He didn’t take to the I-was-right-about-this-all-the-time look on Mike’s face. He scowled. “Those dirty Nazis have hidden him away. So they wouldn’t have to report to the police. I knew they didn’t mean to call the police.” He suddenly saw it plain. “They didn’t want Ruprecht here at all. They just wanted to get me out of the house so they could get rid of the body. Well, I’ll show them.”

  He didn’t wait for Mike; he pounded out of that room and down the stairs. How much noise he was making didn’t matter. Not that it was much on the carpet. When he reached the throne room he flung open the doors belligerently.

  They were all there, all looking pleased as hell over their trick. Rudolph was on the throne with the cigarette holder sticking out of his mouth. Magda and Ferenz were rallying round. Dorp and Ottomkopf sat on a squashy red velvet couch with Trudy between them. Janssen alone wasn’t amused. He was gazing at Magda from afar and picking up the cigarette butts as they wafted down.

  Johnnie spoke up loud. “Where’s Theo?”

  “Are you loose again?” Magda sighed. That was before her eyes popped like buttons. “The police,” she breathed.

  Each one of the others slowly, apprehensively turned eyes on Mike stepping up beside Johnnie. Every mouth rounded. “Police!”

  Magda was the first to stop behaving like a spook. She came off the throne smiling, her hand outstretched. “How clever of you, Johnnie, to know just what we needed.”

  He didn’t get it. This was such a complete nip-up, it dashed the temper out of him. It was pretty much of a surprise to most of the others too.

  Magda stuck her hand right out in front of Mike. He had to take it. He didn’t seem to mind. Well, in the yellow slacks and black coat she was something out of the glamour book. And the size of that ruby on her finger didn’t spoil the picture. To think that he, Johnnie, had been dopey enough earlier to think that this bunch were merely jewel thieves. Magda was cooing, “Officer, it’s so good of you to come. Officer…?”

  “Mike Costello,” the dumb cop smirked.

  “Officer Costello, you don’t know how we appreciate this, how relieved we are to have you here. It was sweet of Johnnie to bring you back to us. It is imperative that Rudolph reach the airport in time to take the Clipper.”

  Mike glinted real suspicion at Johnnie. Johnnie opened his mouth but Magda lifted her voice. “We didn’t see how we could make it without an escort—”

  “You want a motorcycle cop, lady,” Mike stated. He glowered at Johnnie again before giving Magda the alert.

  Johnnie shouted before she could sabotage any longer, “Where’s Theo?”

  Dorp beamed, “What do you want with Theo? He has gone home.”

  “He couldn’t go home.”

  “He has,” Dorp nodded. “He was tired. He lives so far, all the way to Queens he has to go. After I dismiss the attendants, I say Theo too may leave us early.”

  “Dead guys can’t walk,” Johnnie stated distinctly.

  Magda raised impatient eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

  “Theo was dead.”

  “Dead? Was dead?”

  “He was dead. Maybe he was going home but somebody killed him before he got out.”

  They were all closing in on him now, all but Rudolph who kept right on lounging on the throne, and Janssen who had to stand by to pick up the butts.

  “When was this?” Dorp asked curiously.

  “Before I left. I found him. I told you about it. I—”

  “Where?”

  “You might as well stop this game,” Johnnie began.

  “Where?” Dorp repeated.

  “Upstairs. In Rudolph’s room—Trudy’s room—”

  Ferenz smiled magnificently. Dorp began to laugh. At least that was what it was supposed to be. Johnnie figured that out because the mouth turned up. Trudy just stood there upping big eyes at him.

  Magda cried, “You must be crazy! There’s no one in Rudo’s room.”

  “Not now there isn’t,” Johnnie interrupted loudly. “But there was—”

  He saw Mike’s grim mouth and he raised his voice louder. “You’re darn right there was. He was lying on his face by the window and he was dead as a duck.” He broke through the circle toward the throne. “You tell them, Rudo. You saw him too.”

  “Saw whom?” Rudolph squeaked airily.

  “Theo. Up in your room. Murdered.”

  The princeling drew himself up. “I never saw anything of the sort,” he denied flatly. His black eyes looked smack into Johnnie’s. “How silly!”

  2.

  Johnnie didn’t say any more. He just looked at Rudolph. Looked at him and didn’t believe his ears. He turned around slowly. They were all watching him. But they weren’t surprised or annoyed like they were pretending. Underneath that they were all making mock of him. All but the cop. Mike was really mad.

  Johnnie came up for the third time spying the life-saver. “Trudy,” he began.

  She shook her head. She turned sweetly to Mike. “I don’t know why he’s saying this, officer. As a matter of fact, we don’t even know who he is. He walked in here tonight—”

  Ferenz broke in. “He even crashed a party of mine tonight, officer.” He puffed up. “I am Ferenz Lessering. No one crashes my parties.”

  Mike was sure by now that Johnnie had hoaxed him. He didn’t like it. But he didn’t not like it as much as he would have if Magda’s cheek hadn’t been practically against his arm.

  Johnnie took a deep breath. “All right,” he announced. “All right,” he repeated. He fixed reproachful eyes on Mike. “You can believe these birds if you want to. I’ve told you what they are. Go ahead and believe them. You’re going to look pretty funny after you come to.” He butted through that circle as if it were not there.

  Magda carolled after him, “Where are you going now, Johnnie?”

  “I’m going to find Theo!” he howled back.

  He heard Mike as he started down the stairs. “I better go along to see he doesn’t hurt anything,” and Magda’s laughter, “He can’t hurt a thing.”

  He gritted his teeth. He’d tear this house down wall by wall before he’d let them get by with this. He’d start searching at the bottom. Someone was following him down the stairs. Johnnie swung around and doubled his fists.

  Mike halted. “Now listen, Johnnie—”

  “You listen,” Johnnie said. “I tell you somebody killed this guy Theo and now somebody’s hidden the body so the police won’t find it.” He scorned. “Though why they think the police would be interested, I don’t know.”

  “Listen, Johnnie—”

  “You listen.” He pounced again. “Rudolph saw that body and he told them about it, not me. And no one was surprised either.” He cocked his head. “Get that. They knew Theo was dead the minute Rudolph and me walked in. Because Rudolph was the one supposed to be dead. Theo was the only one who looked like Rudolph.”

  “Listen, Johnnie.” Mike raised his voice. “Listen just for a minute, will you? Why would a guy be killed just because he looked like another guy?”

  “Because somebody doesn’t want Rudolph to go back and be king.”

  “King?” Mike backed up a few steps. Johnnie guessed they’d told him that he, Johnnie, was kind of cuckoo.

  “Yes, king!” he snapped. If Mike couldn’t tell who was crazy in this outfit and who wasn’t there was no time now to go into it. “That Rudolph’s a prince. A crown prince of Rudamia
. You never heard of it and neither did I but it’s a place near Trudamia and Luxembourg only the Nazis own it now.”

  Mike came down to him. He coaxed, “Listen, Johnnie, let’s—”

  “I’m giving it to you straight. Ask Rudolph. He won’t lie about that. He wants to be king.” He wondered. “Magda wants him to be king because she’s going to marry him. That’ll make her a queen. Ottomkopf—that’s old bristle-head—wants him to be king because he’ll get to boss Rudamia.” He confided, “Rudolph’s kind of a goon.” He thought about it again. “Ferenz wants him to be king because Rudolph owes Ferenz a lot of money and he could pay off then. But if Rudolph was killed, Ruprecht would be king. And Magda’d rather have Rupe. Only she hasn’t got him. I wonder. If Rupe wanted to be king, he might bump off Rudo, only Rupe doesn’t want to be and he’s the one guy couldn’t have done it. He wasn’t here.”

  “Maybe he only just got to Edna’s,” Mike suggested. “Maybe she’s just his alibi.”

  “She was mad enough to spill if that was it,” Johnnie stated. “Trudy says she doesn’t want Rupe to be king. She goes for him though and she might be lying.” She’d lied in his face. Saying she would call the police. Good thing he had a hunch. “She might think she could beat Magda out. She could with me. I don’t know where Dorp comes in it. He’s trying to get Rudolph off on the plane. Dorp’s a Nasty. He has his own S. S. troops.”

  Mike stopped believing again.

  “Didn’t you get that suit on Janssen? There was a whole squad of them here earlier. Bowing and scraping. Your Highness this. Your Highness that.”

  “Listen, Johnnie, there aren’t any more kings,” Mike reasoned “Except in England and Abyssinia—”

  “That’s what I thought, brother, until tonight. But there is a Rudamia. It’s in the Encyclopaedia Britannica. And that goop upstairs is going to be king of it. If he lives so long.” He caught Mike’s lapel. “Don’t you see we got to find out who did it before Rudolph does get killed? And first we have to find Theo. They can’t lie out of a murder if we find Theo.” He put it down cold. “Are you going to help me look for him or not?”

  Mike scratched his nose. “If you’re talking straight—I’m not saying I believe you, see?—but if it should be true all this stuff about kings and about you finding a stiff, you don’t think they’ve got it hidden here, do you?”

  “Where else?”

  “If they thought you could find the body—I mean, supposing there really is one—you don’t think they’d turn us loose to look for it, do you? There’s more of them than of us.”

  “But you’re a cop—they couldn’t stop you looking.”

  “Yes, they could,” Mike said slowly. “Murderers aren’t particular about who they put the second bullet in. You can’t go to the chair more than once.”

  Johnnie deflated. “What do you think we ought to do?”

  “I think we ought to go report to Ruprecht.”

  “I think so too,” Trudy’s voice agreed. She was sitting there above them on the stairs.

  “How long have you been there?” Johnnie demanded.

  “Long enough.” She stood up, shook out her pink slacks’ creases. “You did bring Ruprecht back?”

  “Yes, I brought him back.”

  “Then come on. Take me to him.”

  Johnnie didn’t move. “I’m looking for Theo.”

  “You won’t find him here,” she said. “And I must see Ruprecht before the others do. I told them I’d follow you and see you didn’t get into any mischief. And I told them they’d better stay put because you might get suspicious if all of them trailed you around. Now take me to Rupe.”

  “Where’s Theo?” Johnnie demanded stubbornly.

  “Have you tried Queens?” she mocked.

  “Kings—queens—”

  “Shshsh. Do you want all of them down here? Officer Costello, will you take me to wherever Rupe is holed? Johnnie can stay here and play hide-and-seek all he wants. I must see Rupe right away.”

  “You better come with us, Johnnie,” Mike urged. “I think we ought to talk this over with Rupe.”

  He gave in. “All right. He’s up in the attic where you had me.”

  Trudy nodded. “Be quiet both of you. We’ll go up. Wait—Officer Costello—”

  “Call him Mike,” Johnnie said. “No use being formal with a cop.”

  “Mike, why don’t you go back in with the others? Tell them I’m following Johnnie around. That way if any of them do start looking for us you can give a warning. I don’t want them to see Rupe yet.”

  “Rupe didn’t want to be seen yet,” Mike admitted. He was torn between a possible body and Magda’s figure. “I don’t know—”

  Trudy nodded her butter yellow head. “It’ll be safer.”

  “How can I signal you?”

  “Shoot your gun,” Johnnie advised. “Though I don’t know if we’d hear it upstairs. I didn’t hear the shot that killed Theo.”

  “After you shoot it, be sure you’re in the lead if anyone comes after us.” She gave Mike her Sonja smile. “You go first now. We’ll wait until you’re safe inside.”

  “Okay,” Mike agreed. “But come back and let me know what you decide, Johnnie.”

  “Don’t worry.” He wasn’t going to lose the cop after finding him. He stood behind Trudy on the stairs until Mike had shut himself in the throne room.

  She whispered, “Come on now. Don’t talk until we get upstairs.” On third she turned again. “You lamebrain. Why did you bring that cop here?”

  “I thought he might come in handy,” Johnnie told her. “Why did you lie about Theo?”

  “What did you expect me to do, tell Mike all about it? Don’t you think I have enough on my mind without you bringing home a policeman?”

  “Mike’s a good guy. Besides you told me you’d call the police and you didn’t. You’re not going to get away with murdering Theo by hiding him.”

  “I didn’t murder Theo,” she retorted. “And I’m not trying to get away with anything.” She pushed open the secret closet door. “I wish I knew who did it.” She smelled like lemon perfume here in the dark. He caught hold of her hand, just for guidance.

  “Listen, if you’d tell Mike there was a murder,” he said, “he could find out. After all he is a cop.”

  “He can find out after I get Rudolph away from here.”

  “Suppose Rudolph did it?”

  She was disgusted. “He didn’t. He’s the one person didn’t. He could never have mistaken Theo for himself.” She opened the door of the attic. Her mouth turned down at the corners. “He’s gone.”

  “He said he wouldn’t run out,” Johnnie frowned. “Try tapping on that phony wall.”

  “You watch at the door.” She tapped, called softly, “It’s Trudy.”

  The wall swung a little, wider. Ruprecht came in.

  “I thought maybe you’d blown,” Johnnie sighed.

  “Such lack of confidence!” Ruprecht scoffed.

  “Rupe!” Trudy cried. That was the first time Johnnie realized that she wasn’t as tough as she’d been acting. She sort of caved in against Ruprecht’s chest. He kissed her, none of the lingering stuff he’d given Magda in the library, just a nice big brother kiss.

  “What’s the matter, sweet stuff?”

  “Oh, Rupe. So much.”

  Johnnie said, “Pass me a chair, Rupe. My feet hurt. I’ll guard sitting down.” He put it against the door, plopped on it.

  Ruprecht and Trudy parked on the table. She wailed, “Somebody’s trying to kill Rudolph.”

  He nodded. “Johnnie told me. About Theo.”

  “That wasn’t all. Before that Dorp gave Theo an envelope. And he said Rudo wasn’t to reach Rudamia. I stole it. But there’s nothing wrong with it. Just his real passports.”

  For the first time in hours, Johnnie remembered the bomb cigar in his pocket. Remembered it none too comfortably. Time was getting on. It was set to go off on the Clipper. He didn’t know exactly what time the Cl
ipper was leaving but it might be dangerously close.

  “They think you have it, Rupe.”

  “Give it to me then. I will have it.” He put his arm around her shoulder.

  She leaned her head against him. “I haven’t it here. It’s in the little room, under the uniforms in the wardrobe.”

  “I’ll get it. You say there’s nothing wrong with it?”

  “Not a damn thing, Rupe.”

  That envelope wouldn’t have just killed Rudolph. It would have killed all the passengers, everyone on board the Clipper. Johnnie sat up. Maybe it was meant to kill everyone. Maybe even the president would be on board. “Say,” he began.

  They didn’t pay any attention to him. They were pitching a little quiet woo during this conference. Well, he, Johnnie, didn’t blame Rupe for making time. He merely envied him.

  “Rupe, I don’t think we ought to let Rudolph leave on the Clipper,” Trudy said.

  “I thought you wanted it, baby. You even told me to stay out of the picture so that there wouldn’t be any chance of me rubbing Rudo the wrong way and making him change his mind.”

  “I know. It did seem like a good idea when Furry first told me of it. Before someone tried to kill Rudolph.”

  “You know,” Ruprecht smiled winningly, “I can think of a lot of persons who would like to kill Rudolph for any number of reasons. But there isn’t a one of them in this house. That’s what I don’t get. On the face of it, everyone here should want Rudolph to be king. It’s the only way for Magda to get in the ranks. If Furry was losing money on such a deal, he might do it, but in the long run he isn’t. Or if Otto were going to get kicked out on his pratt, but Rudo wouldn’t dare.”

  “That’s the way I figure,” Johnnie interrupted. They still weren’t paying any attention to him. Ruprecht was tugging her curly yellow hair and she was rubbing his knee.

  “Someone doesn’t,” Trudy said. “And that’s why I don’t think we ought to let him leave. If he isn’t even safe here with his friends, he certainly won’t be in Europe.”

  “What’ll we do with him?” Rupe brightened. “Maybe Edna would like to hide him.”

  “Who’s Edna?”

  “Madame La Riggens. My Conga teacher.”