"I love it," Robin agreed.
Sandy popped a french fry into her mouth and bowed to everyone. "Thank you, my adoring public."
"Can I have one of your fries?" Cara asked.
"Sure. Here, help yourself." Sandy pushed the plate forward. "Robin?"
Robin jumped as though she'd been pinched. "No! I don't want any."
"Sorry!"
"It's just that I'm trying to stick to a diet." Robin didn't mean to snap at Sandy, but she couldn't help it. Worrying about George was making her very irritable.
Robin sighed and glanced across the table. Elizabeth was watching her steadily. There was an unmistakable question in her eyes, and a look of concern. Robin felt her cheeks flush under Elizabeth's scrutiny. Elizabeth could be very persistent if she thought a friend was upset or in trouble. But Robin didn't want anyone to know what she feared about George. She looked away quickly and gathered her books.
"I'll see you all at practice," she said. Robin stood up and hurried out of the cafeteria. It was getting to the point where she couldn't stand to see other people eat. Her stomach still growled uncomfortably at the smell of food. But she wouldn't let herself give in to her hunger. If she could only get thinner, everything else in her life would get back to normal.
Robin went out into the hall and looked around. She needed a quiet place where she could be alone to think. Robin headed for the library. Once inside, she sat at an isolated table and put her head down on her folded arms. She tried to banish all thoughts of George and Vicky from her head. She felt so tired and unhappy. Robin closed her eyes and tried to relax.
"It's time for class."
Robin jerked awake. "Was I sleeping?" she asked in surprise.
The librarian nodded, her mouth twisted disapprovingly. "You kids stay up too late," she said. "Please don't use my library as a bedroom anymore."
Robin nodded and picked up her books. She shook her head to clear the sleep out of it. She couldn't believe she had actually fallen asleep in the library. Her long morning walks must have tired her out more than she realized. And she was getting an hour less sleep than usual. But Robin knew that she had to make some sacrifices if she wanted to lose weight, and keep George.
Robin left the library and went to her last two classes of the day. After final period, as she was changing for cheerleading practice in the locker room, Robin decided to weigh herself.
The scale told her she had already lost four pounds, and Robin felt a surge of elation. In no time she would be as thin as Vicky.
"OK, let's go," Robin said briskly to the other cheerleaders. "We've got a lot of work to do."
Sandra and Jean looked up at her from where they sat on the benches, tying the laces on their sneakers. "We'll be right there," Jean said.
"Jeez, lighten up, Robin," Jessica muttered as she passed by her. "You're acting like a drill sergeant."
"I am not." Robin laughed self-consciously. "Come on. Let's get that new cheer really perfect today."
By the time the entire cheerleading squad was out on the field, Robin was already stretching out. Keeping active was the best way she knew to stop worrying about George, and the best way to ignore her hunger.
Robin kept up a grueling pace during practice, urging everyone to keep up with her. A lot of dirty looks were directed her way, but Robin didn't let them bother her. After all, she was cocaptain because she was disciplined. It was up to her to keep the group going.
"I'm finished," Jessica said, collapsing onto the ground.
"Me, too," Cara agreed, sinking down next to her.
Robin frowned. "Come on, you guys. We don't really have it down yet."
"Speak for yourself," Amy said irritably. "I know the cheer just fine."
"You're too much of a perfectionist, Robin," Sandra said, exhausted. "I think we've got it down pretty well, too."
Robin looked around at the others for support, but one by one they were sitting on the field and starting to talk.
"Well, I'm not finished," she announced. "I'm going to keep working out."
Annie let out a groan. "What are you, a masochist, Robin? I'm beat. Aren't you?"
"No," Robin lied. She took a deep breath that was almost a yawn. Her muscles felt like water. "I'm going to run some laps, and then work on the gymnastics. Anyone want to join me?"
"NO!" Jessica cried.
Robin glanced coldly at her. "Fine. I'll do it alone."
She stood where she was while the others drifted off. Annie stayed behind for a moment.
"Are you all right, Robin?" she asked. "You look pretty tired."
"I'm fine. See you tomorrow," Robin answered, forcing a smile.
Annie didn't look at all convinced, but she followed the others off the field. Robin looked around the empty playing field and then squared her shoulders. It was time to run some laps. She was going to get back into shape again, no matter what it took.
Later that evening Robin was staring blankly at a homework assignment when the telephone rang. She waited to hear if it would be for her.
"Robin!" Troy yelled. "It's George."
Robin's heart leapt, and she jumped out of her chair.
"Hi, George?" she gasped when she picked up the phone in the hall. "Where've you been? I've tried calling you so many times!"
"Sorry," he said in a tired voice. "I've really been in a crunch. Vicky and I had to study emergency procedures, and then go through an examination. It was murder. But I think we did OK."
"Have you been spending a lot of time with Vicky?" Robin bit her lip, hating herself for asking the question and for sounding so jealous. But she couldn't help herself. All she could see in her mind was George and Vicky, staying up late, laughing, talking, being drawn closer and closer together.
George paused for a moment. "Well, you know, Robin, I have to. She's my partner in class."
"Yeah, I know." Being away from George while he was with Vicky made Robin feel helpless and miserable. In fact, those feelings had been growing stronger and stronger, in spite of her efforts to organize her life. Robin felt as though she were trying to hold on to a big, floppy package. Each time she thought she had a grip on it in one spot, it got away from her somewhere else. She closed her eyes. Somehow she had to get control over her life.
"When can I see you?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"That's what I called about. I just finished this term paper, so I thought I would come up tomorrow night. I've missed you a lot."
"Me, too," Robin whispered. Her throat felt tight, as if she were going to cry. "And I'm sorry about the way I got so upset last weekend . . ."
"No, it's my fault. I overreacted, and that's one of the reasons I didn't call you before now. I've been feeling like such a jerk. But you know what I want to do?" George asked. "I want to take you out to some really fancy restaurant. Like Villa Marino."
Robin smiled. "That sounds great. I can't wait to see you, George."
"And I can't wait to see you," he replied tenderly.
"I love you,"
"I love you, too," George echoed.
Robin frowned. She wondered if George's answer was too automatic. Did he still really love her? If only she could be sure!
"Robin? Are you still there?"
"Yes," she said slowly. "So, when will you be here?"
"How about six o'clock?" George suggested. "We'll go out and have a really great time, just the two of us."
"OK. I'll see you tomorrow night."
After she hung up the phone, Robin made a decision. She was going to look absolutely perfect when George arrived tomorrow night. He wouldn't be able to think about Vicky at all.
Seven
Robin stepped out of the shower and toweled herself off briskly. A quick glance in the mirror told her she was definitely getting slimmer. The roundness in her cheeks was beginning to leave. She smiled with relief and stepped onto the scale. She had lost eight pounds in just two weeks. The diet was working.
But there was still a long way to go, she
reminded herself. Just because she had lost a few pounds didn't mean she could stop. It wouldn't take much to put the weight right back on.
Robin wrapped the towel around herself tightly and began to put on her makeup, standing back from the mirror once in a while to get the full effect of her efforts. Her eyes looked huge and her cheekbones stood out dramatically.
George won't be able to think about Vicky for a second tonight, Robin told herself happily. George would only have eyes and thoughts for her.
For a moment Robin wondered if George had noticed the weight she had put on in recent months. He was clearly impressed with Vicky, who was very slim. Frowning, Robin hurried into her bedroom and began to look through her wardrobe.
Just the night before, Robin had completely reorganized her closet. All of her clothes were evenly spaced to keep them from wrinkling. The shirts and blouses were hung together next to her skirts, and on the other side of the closet were her dresses. She had even arranged them by color, too. Keeping things neat and organized helped her feel more in control of things and gave her a nice feeling of satisfaction.
First Robin tried on a short white skirt with a white blouse. But she knew that light colors tended to make a person appear heavier. She wasn't at all satisfied with the way she looked in the outfit. Shaking her head, Robin stripped it off and took a black knit tank dress off its hanger.
The dress was better, but the more Robin studied her reflection, the more worried she became. The clingy knit didn't hide a thing. Every little bulge or wobble would show. She bit back an angry mutter and flicked through the hangers for something else.
Finally Robin settled on a forget-me-not blue skirt and a pink V-necked sweater. The colors were fresh and cheerful and brought a sparkle to her eyes. She stepped into a pair of blue sandals and examined herself in the mirror for the last time.
She still thought she looked too heavy. But what she had on was the most flattering outfit she could find. She smoothed the skirt over her hips and frowned. Maybe George wouldn't notice her weight. She would have to make sure he didn't.
"Robin! George is here!" Mrs. Wilson called from downstairs.
"Already?" Robin gasped, checking her watch. She ran a brush through her hair quickly and left the room.
George was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and he looked up when he heard her footsteps. A warm smile lit his face.
"Hey, gorgeous," he said. "You really look great, you know that?"
Robin felt her stomach flip-flop at the compliment. She ran down and hugged him tight. Her decision to take control of her life was paying off. George was noticing her, now.
"Hi," she breathed. "I'm so glad to see you."
"Me, too," George said, holding her close. "Ready to go?"
She laughed out of sheer relief. "Ready."
As he took her hand and looked into her eyes, Robin knew again that her hunger was worth this attention.
I dare you to think of Vicky tonight, she told him silently.
"Let's go," George said.
As they drove to Villa Marino George talked about the term paper he had just finished for a political science class. Robin relished just being near him. Vicky was far away, and Robin planned on keeping her there. The most important thing was not to talk about the flying class.
"How did that fund-raising thing go?" George asked when they were seated at the restaurant. "Did you make a lot of money?"
Robin was startled. "It hasn't happened yet. It's not for a couple of weeks, still."
"Oh." George looked sheepish. "I guess I thought it was already over."
"I guess you weren't paying very close attention when I was telling you about it," Robin said lightly. But she felt stung. Usually George kept track of everything she was involved in. That was one of the nicest things about him. Now her life seemed to be an unimportant afterthought for him.
He's got other stuff on his mind, she realized unhappily. She didn't want to think about what, or who, might be distracting George from her. She concentrated on the menu and tried not to let the hurt show.
"You haven't asked me anything about flying yet."
"Oh, you know what?" Robin said, in an attempt to change the subject. "I was reading that book you gave me for my birthday, the science fiction one about nuclear war. It was really intense."
George nodded. "I know. I read it, too. I was telling Vi—"
"What are you going to have?" Robin cut in desperately. "Here's the waiter."
"Ummm . . ." George frowned at the menu. "You go ahead and order."
Robin's mouth watered at the luscious-sounding entrées. She had hardly touched a bite all day, so she felt entitled to a good dinner. Of course, just being with George was enough of a reward, but she was really hungry. "I'll have linguine with clam sauce," she decided. "And a Caesar salad."
"And I'll have stuffed mushrooms for an appetizer and lasagna," George said.
When the waiter had gone, Robin picked up her water glass and sipped from it. She had to find a way to keep the conversation from flying and Vicky. "This is pretty nice," she said.
George looked closely at her. "Is something wrong?"
"No. What could be wrong?"
"I don't know. Are you worried about this flying class I'm taking?"
Robin's cheeks flushed. "I—"
"Because I'll be totally safe, you know. I'm not going to choke up or freeze or anything like that. I'm getting all that anxiety about the accident completely out of the way."
Unexpectedly, Robin felt angry. He didn't even realize that she might be worried about their relationship. It seemed very insensitive of him. In fact, he had been very insensitive a lot lately. She wasn't just being defensive, she was sure of that. George just wasn't considering her feelings the way he used to.
"I'm not at all worried about you crashing again," Robin said firmly.
"Then what is it?" George insisted.
Robin made an effort to smile cheerfully. "Nothing. I'm just hungry, that's all."
"OK." George smiled at her and cleared his throat. "Listen, I have to tell you something, I'm really sorry, but I won't be able to come home next Friday."
Robin's smile faded. "Why not?"
"Well, I promised Vicky I'd drive her to her parents' house. She doesn't have a car, so I offered to take her. She invited you to come along, but I remembered you said you didn't like her very much, so I told Vicky you would be busy."
A sick sensation wobbled through Robin's body. She stared at George without speaking. Her face felt hot.
"I only offered to drive her because she's been such a great partner in class, and she's really helped me a lot," George went on defensively. "I wanted to tell you right away, so you wouldn't be disappointed later. In case you were going to make plans or something."
The waiter chose that moment to bring their first course. Robin stared down at the oily lettuce and grated cheese on her plate and felt a wave of disgust. George popped a steaming mushroom cap into his mouth and chewed it hungrily.
Robin picked up her fork and speared a crouton. But she couldn't bring herself to eat it. Smelling the food, even looking at it, made her feel sick. She put the fork down and pushed her plate away.
"What's wrong with it?" George asked.
"Nothing. I don't want it."
"But you just ordered it." George sounded puzzled and a little bit hurt.
"I don't want it anymore. I changed my mind."
"In five minutes you changed your mind?" George asked, a sarcastic edge to his voice.
"That's right," Robin shot back.
He looked coldly at her, obviously trying hard to stifle a sharp retort. Then he sighed. "Don't eat it, then."
Robin could feel the sparkle rapidly fade out of their evening. She swallowed the rest of her water and looked around for the waiter.
"Is this about Vicky?" George asked suddenly.
Robin's gaze flicked across his face. "That's very perceptive of you."
"Are you upset becau
se I said you wouldn't want to go? Because I assumed you wouldn't?"
"You're right, I wouldn't," Robin replied angrily. "I just wish you wouldn't be so excited about going."
A frown creased George's forehead. "I don't understand why you don't like Vicky. She likes you. And there's absolutely no reason to be jealous of her."
Robin let out a short, dry laugh and looked away.
"Come on! I love you, Robin. What could make you think I don't?"
A dozen possibilities raced through Robin's head, but she didn't mention them. The lack of phone calls, the fascination with Vicky, his not remembering her important plans. She pleated the napkin in her lap and tried hard to stay calm.
"Come on," George repeated. "Why don't—"
The waiter returned with their entreés, and George broke off in embarrassment. Before the waiter could put Robin's plate of linguine on the table, she held up her hand.
"I don't want it anymore," she said. "I just want some more water."
The waiter looked surprised. "Was the salad—"
"I just don't want it anymore," Robin said firmly.
There was an awkward silence as the waiter cleared the table of Robin's dishes. George sat staring at his plate of lasagna. His cheeks were flushed.
"That was a nice scene," George whispered hoarsely when the waiter was gone.
Robin closed her eyes. Their whole date was turning into a nightmare. The bickering and sarcasm made her feel physically sick. George said he loved her, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he left her. A few more weeks with Vicky, and Robin would be history.
"Robin," George said pleadingly, "what's wrong? Why won't you eat?"
"I'm not hungry," she insisted.
"Are you still upset about Vicky? Because there's really nothing to worry about," George continued. "I love you, Robin."
Robin raised her head quickly and glared at him. "Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it!"
"Listen," George said angrily, leaning across the table toward her, "just because we're going out doesn't give you the right to run my life, Robin. You know how important this flying class is to me, and if I want to be friends with my partner, I will. I'm going to Vicky's house and that's it."
The Perfect Girl (Sweet Valley High Book 74) Page 5