The Perfect Girl (Sweet Valley High Book 74)

by Francine Pascal

  And what Vicky had told her about George made her see that he did love her, and always had. True, he had been a bit insensitive lately, but because she was feeling so vulnerable, she had blown everything way out of proportion. She wanted to tell George how sorry she was.

  She would get better, and maybe they would start all over. More importantly, she would start all over. There were a lot of other things in her life that she needed to think about, not just George. For some time now instead of confronting her problems, she had tried to make them vanish through sheer willpower.

  But life didn't work that way.

  Suddenly Robin realized that getting better meant starting to eat again. A cold shiver went through her at the thought. She wasn't sure that she could eat again.

  Maybe it was too late to start over.

  Twelve

  In the morning Robin woke from a refreshing sleep. Her lungs still ached, but the heavy, dull feeling in her head was almost gone.

  She glanced at the door as an orderly came in with a breakfast tray.

  "Good morning!"

  "I'm not—" Robin stopped herself and lay quietly while he arranged the tray on her bedside table and pulled it close for her. The orderly waved and left.

  If she really wanted to get well, she would eat her breakfast, Robin told herself sternly.

  Gingerly she lifted the cover from the tray to find two pieces of whole wheat toast, half a grapefruit, and a glass of milk. A pat of margarine peeked out from under the edge of the plate.

  "I can eat this," Robin said, drawing a deep breath. She ignored the margarine and picked up one slice of dry toast. Very slowly she brought it to her mouth and took a tiny bite.

  Robin chewed carefully, expecting to feel sick. To her surprise, she didn't experience any nausea, but she didn't feel too well, either. She resolutely took another bite and then pushed the tray to the far end of the table.

  "Good morning." A red-haired woman in a lab coat walked into the room and pulled a stethoscope from her pocket. "I'm Doctor McCloud. How do you feel this morning, Robin?"

  Robin propped herself up higher and nodded. "OK," she admitted. "Better."

  "Great." Dr. McCloud listened to Robin's lungs while giving her brief instructions on breathing in and out. After a moment, she snapped the earpieces away from her ears and looked at Robin intently. "You sure don't waste any time when you want to get sick. That pneumonia really grabbed you."

  "Oh." Robin felt embarrassed. She knew it was all her fault she was sick.

  "That's because you're so weak," the doctor went on matter-of-factly. "And that's because you're anorexic. You know that, don't you?"

  Robin nodded. Her cheeks were burning with shame and regret. Everyone must be so disappointed in her, she thought miserably.

  "So, what you have to do first is get over the pneumonia. Then you have to get over the anorexia."

  Dr. McCloud gave Robin a sympathetic smile. "And stop blaming yourself. More people than you'd believe have eating disorders. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but then again, you do have to cure yourself of it."

  "I know," Robin whispered. "I want to eat now. I really do."

  Dr. McCloud grinned. "You don't fool me, Robin. I know you don't feel like eating. I know it's not as easy as just saying you want to eat. But you'll have plenty of help."

  "From you?"

  "From me, from counselors, support groups," Dr. McCloud explained. "You'll need to talk to a therapist about your self-image, and about how to separate self-image from body-image. There's a lot of jargon you'll have to get used to."

  Robin was trying to understand Dr. McCloud's approach. She was putting no pressure on Robin. Why?

  "Why don't you tell me I have to finish my breakfast?" Robin asked, indicating the tray.

  "OK, Robin. Finish your breakfast." Dr. McCloud gave her a challenging look. "Satisfied? I'll leave you alone. I know you'd like some privacy."

  Before Robin could think of anything else to say, Dr. McCloud left the room.

  Robin looked over at her breakfast tray. She felt that in some way she had been tricked into eating. For a moment she stubbornly decided against touching it again. But then, just as stubbornly, she decided she wanted to show Dr. McCloud that she could be sensible and, above all, determined.

  She picked up the toast and munched through it mechanically, ate three sections of grapefruit, and drank half of the milk before her willpower gave out. Her heart was hammering so hard, she could barely swallow the last sip of milk.

  But it was the most she had eaten in days, she realized triumphantly. If she took things a little bit at a time, she was sure she would win.

  There was a gentle tap on the door, and Robin hastily put the cover over the remains of her meal. "Come in," she said, wiping her mouth.

  George opened the door. His expression was so hopeful and nervous that Robin's heart filled with love. She couldn't speak for a moment.

  "Robin?" he said in a hesitant voice.

  She swallowed hard and gave him a teary smile. "Hi."

  It was as though a bright light had just turned on George's face. His smile was brilliant. "Hi!" He sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "How do you feel?"

  "Pretty OK." Robin laughed, gripping his hand. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry I was so stupid."

  "Stop." George put a finger on her lips and shook his head. "You weren't stupid. And you're going to be OK. I love you."

  "I love you, too. So much!"

  As he held her close now Robin tried to really believe that he loved her, Robin, the whole person, not just a part of her like a body or a face. But it was hard to readjust her thinking. Robin still didn't feel good enough about herself to believe that anyone else could really feel good about her, too.

  "You know what?" she said, pulling away from him with a smile. "Vicky's OK. I like her."

  George grinned. "I knew you two would hit it off if you only gave her a chance."

  "You were right." Robin looked searchingly into George's face. Being with him was so bittersweet. She knew that coming to grips with her problems was going to be a full-time job.

  "Listen," she said in a tired, wistful voice, "I think I'm going to need a lot of time to myself."

  "Oh, sure," George said, standing up. "If you're tired, I can—"

  "No." Robin shook her head. "I don't mean just now, I mean—from now on."

  George stared at her. "I don't understand."

  "I mean, I've got a lot of thinking to do. My whole life, my family, my friends, you—I need time to sort everything out. And I have to do it by myself, at least for a while."

  "Well . . ." George swallowed hard and looked away. "I guess I deserved that."

  "It's not you, George," Robin said pleadingly. "This isn't about you, it's about me. Can you understand?"

  George nodded and then gave her a brave smile. "I guess so. But I'll always be there when you need me."

  Robin smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Thanks."

  Jessica took an enormous bite of pizza and concentrated on breaking the gooey string of mozzarella. "Hot, hot!" she gasped with her mouth full. The cheese didn't want to let go.

  "Really classy, Jessica," Cara teased. "Is this your first time eating?"

  "Second," Annie said. "I've seen her eat before."

  Jessica gave her friends a glare while she chewed. Finally, she swallowed.

  "Very funny."

  "I thought so. Hey! Here comes Robin!" Amy nodded toward the cafeteria door.

  The girls turned to watch Robin walk into the cafeteria. It had been over a week since she had been to school. She was still pale and very thin, but she looked better than the last time they had all seen her, just before she had fainted at the Super Sundae.

  "Hi! Come on, have a seat," Annie said with a welcoming smile.

  Robin smiled shyly at everyone and sat down. "Thanks. I only came to school so I could get some homework assignments from my teachers," she explained. "I'm not really supposed to be
out of bed yet, but I talked my mother into letting me come for an hour. She's waiting for me in Mr. Cooper's office."

  "Good going," Jessica said. "Listen, we finally got the money from the Super Sundae added up. Want to know how much we raised?"

  Robin gave a small, tired nod. "Sure. How much?"

  "With a few extra donations, we made six hundred seventy-three dollars and fifty cents," Jessica said proudly.

  "It doesn't seem like very much," Robin replied.

  Jessica scowled fiercely. "Well, the building fund people didn't turn it down."

  "I know." Robin laughed. "I guess we did do a good job, didn't we?"

  "A great job," Cara said, waving her hand in a grand gesture. "A superb job. A spectacular job!"

  "OK, Walker," Jessica drawled. "We get the point."

  "But I'm still dreaming about ice cream," Amy said with a grin. "And I still feel sticky all over."

  "Speaking of which," Annie said as she stood up, "who wants an ice-cream sandwich or something from the lunch line? Robin?"

  There was a sudden, tense silence at the table. Annie slowly turned red and put one hand over her mouth. "I mean, only if . . ."

  Robin gave her friend a warm smile. "Don't worry about it. But no, thanks. Maybe next time."

  Jessica met Robin's eyes across the table. She couldn't help but wonder if Robin was back to somewhat normal eating habits. She decided that the only way to find out was to ask.

  "Did you already have lunch?" she asked lightly.

  "I ate at home," Robin said, not flinching from Jessica's steady gaze. She didn't need to tell Jessica how difficult it had been.

  Jessica's face relaxed into a carefree smile. "Good. So, when are you really coming back to school?"

  "In a week or so," Robin replied as she stood up. "So, I guess I'll see you all then, OK?"

  "Sure," the others replied.

  Robin smiled, hitched her bag over her shoulder, and headed toward the cafeteria door. It looked as if the same motivation that had spurred her on to diet was going to help her get back to health. Jessica followed Robin with her eyes for a moment and then spotted Elizabeth and Enid Rollins coming into the cafeteria. "Hey, Liz! Over here," she called.

  "Oh, great." Amy rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Jess. Just who I wanted to eat lunch with. Enid Rollins!"

  "Thank me in a minute, Amy," Jessica replied as her sister and Enid came up to their table.

  "Hi, Jess. What's up?" Elizabeth smiled at the table of cheerleaders.

  "Nothing much. I just thought Enid could tell us about her cousin, Jake. You wouldn't mind, would you, Enid?"

  "Of course not." Enid grinned and reached into her bag for her wallet.

  "What's this about a cousin?" Lila Fowler asked as she joined the group.

  "My cousin Jake is coming to spend a weekend with me and my family."

  "Oh, is that all? That's really nice, Enid," Lila said condescendingly.

  "Yeah. It is nice. I haven't seen him in a while. He's been so busy competing, he hasn't had any time to relax." Enid opened her wallet and removed a photograph from a plastic sleeve.

  "What do you mean by competing?" Amy asked, straining to get a glimpse of the photo Enid was holding.

  "Jake's a tennis player. And a pretty good one at that. He's won several local championships. . . ."

  "Let's see the picture!" Lila snatched the photo from Enid's hand. "Hey! I've seen him on TV."

  "Let me see." Amy grabbed the photo from Lila. "Wow! He's really cute."

  "Didn't I tell you you'd thank me?" Jessica said with a grin.

  "So when is Jake coming to Sweet Valley?"

  "And when can we meet him?"

  "Yeah, Enid. You can't keep him all to yourself."

  Enid laughed at the girls' enthusiasm. "Hey, calm down. Don't worry. I'll keep you posted. I'm sure Jake will be happy to meet each and every one of you."

  Enid waved at the group, and she and Elizabeth headed off for an empty table.

  "I can't believe that boring Enid Rollins has such an incredible cousin," Lila said, shaking her head.

  "Well, he is pretty gorgeous. But I don't know. I still think Tom McKay is cuter." Amy tossed her swingy blond hair and smiled mysteriously.

  "That's the second time you've mentioned Tom McKay lately. You know he and Jean West are going out. What's going on, anyway?" Jessica asked.

  "Nothing. That is, nothing yet."

  Will Amy finally find her true love? Find out in Sweet Valley High #75, AMY'S FIRST LOVE.