Her Lone Cowboy

by Patricia Forsythe

  He was sitting up, reaching for his shoes. Stricken, she stared at him. “Caleb, don’t go.” She set the glass on the coffee table. Getting him water had only been a pretext, anyway. She hurried around the end of the sofa and placed her hand on his arm. Meeting his eyes, she said, “Please stay. Tell me about the nightmare.”

  His gaze skittered guiltily away from hers. “I need to go.”

  “You need to stay.”

  “No, Laney,” he said in a fierce tone. “I might have hurt you.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “I scared you.”

  “Only for a moment. And you didn’t mean to. I surprised you.” She smiled. “You’re not used to sleeping anywhere but your own house, so on someone else’s couch and...” She gave a shaky little laugh, plucked at her serviceable old robe and ran a smoothing hand over her wild bed-hair. “You’re certainly not used to be awakened by a gorgeous woman,” she teased.

  Against his will, his lips twitched. “No, I’m not.”

  Nervously she pressed her palms together. “Do you want the water? I...”

  “No.” He took a breath and released it in a gust. “I shouldn’t have stayed. It wasn’t fair for me to stay here without you knowing exactly what you’re dealing with.”

  Her mouth went dry as another thought occurred to her. “Did this happen when Sam was—”

  “No,” Caleb answered quickly. “I was fine when he was at my house. I think the nightmare came tonight because I was thinking about you being in that fire. It brought back too many memories. My sleep has been much better lately, but tonight...”

  Before he could fall into silence, shutting her out again, she sat beside him on the couch. Pulling up one knee, she turned so that she faced him though he didn’t have to face her unless he wanted to. Instinctively she knew he’d be able to talk better that way. Still, several long moments passed until he started talking.

  “We were out on patrol in up-armored Bradleys, rolling down a road where troops had been attacked before, so we were on alert—though that doesn’t always do much good. We were getting ready to come home. It was supposed to be our last mission. When we got back to base, we were going to start packing up our gear. We were talking about what we would do when we got home. Maybe that made us careless.”

  Caleb’s hands clenched on his knees.

  Laney reached over and entwined his fingers with hers. “Go on,” she encouraged.

  “In Afghanistan, you see people walking everywhere, even down the sides of roads out in the middle of nowhere. We saw a woman and her little boy. The kid—” Caleb paused, cleared his throat “—looked a lot like Sam. Big brown eyes, huge grin, like he was thrilled to see us. He waved and I waved back, then we drove over an IED.”

  Tears spurted into Laney’s eyes. “You don’t have to tell me any more, Caleb.”

  He shook his head. “I have to. Now that I’ve started, I have to finish it.” Still, he waited, gathering his thoughts. “Berman had insisted on riding shotgun and that’s what took most of the blast. I was in the seat behind him. I was knocked out, didn’t wake up until I was on the way to the hospital. I was lucky. At least they saved my leg. But Berman and that little boy and his mother... They never had a chance.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Caleb.”

  “I know that. But why did I live when Berman didn’t? He had a wife and baby daughter at home. Showed us every picture and video he had of her, shared every new thing she did, everything she learned...and that little boy...” Caleb paused, his throat working. “He couldn’t have been more than six. He’d probably walked miles with his mother that day, but he grinned at us and waved, and in a place where we were often hated, that meant a lot. That’s what I can’t get out of my head. If we hadn’t been there, passed right then, he’d still be alive, playing soccer with the other boys from his village, going to school. Having a life, maybe even a good one. I keep reliving it in my dreams.”

  “We never know why these things happen,” she said, realizing her words were poor comfort. He kept reliving it because he didn’t have closure and he might never have it.

  He looked down at their clasped hands and Laney watched the play of emotions on his face, humbled and grateful that he now felt comfortable enough with her to let her see this side of him, see his searing pain. She wanted so badly to tell him how much she loved him, but she knew he wasn’t ready for that yet. She would tell him soon, though, no matter if he loved her or not. Love was a gift that needed to be given. It didn’t necessarily have to be returned.

  “You still can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

  When he didn’t respond, she went on. “Things happen in life—terrible tragedies we don’t understand. Your problem is that you think you should be able to fix everything, make problems go away, solve issues.”

  “And that’s bad?” He frowned, not seeming to like what she had to say, but at least he was listening.

  “No, it’s the way you are, so you have to accept it—or accept what you can’t change.”

  He didn’t answer. Laney knew she had merely stated what he already knew. It was time to drop this. She watched his face carefully as she asked, “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”

  Caleb shook his head. “Not yet.”

  “Me neither.” Laney turned and rested against the sofa cushions. “Do you want to watch a movie? I think I’ve got every animated one ever made, and some of them are really good. My mom buys them at yard sales.”

  He grinned. “Sure. Got any popcorn?”

  “Coming right up.”

  While she made popcorn, Caleb looked through her movie collection and chose Disney’s Fantasia of all things. “Happy dream sequences,” he explained when she returned, answering her puzzled look with a shrug.

  With him stretched out on the couch and her curled up in the big chair, they watched dancing hippos and magical floor mops. Eventually they both fell asleep.

  * * *

  LANEY WOKE WITH the feeling that things had changed for her last night. She was curled up in the overstuffed chair while Caleb was sprawled on the sofa, still asleep. He was on his back, one leg on the sofa, the other falling off the edge, his foot resting on the floor. His hands rested on his chest, easy, relaxed. It was the most natural and defenseless pose she had ever seen him in.

  Laney thought about all the expressions she’d seen on his face in the weeks she’d known him, and she thought that the peaceful expression on his face now was the one she loved the most. His thick lashes lay against his cheeks, a contrast to the scars she now knew had come from a bomb blast, one that had taken more from him than any man should have to give.

  She didn’t know what had gotten into her last night when she’d asked him to stay. Maybe it had been the shock on his face when she’d opened the door and he’d seen the state she was in. Maybe it was the commanding way he’d sent her off to the shower while he cooked. It certainly hadn’t been his cooking, she thought, smiling. She could teach him how to scramble eggs so they’d be fluffy and moist, not dry.

  No, she thought, stretching like a cat. All of those things had contributed, but it was the way he had tenderly applied ointment to her burn that had pushed her over the edge. She had seen this man working to tame a horse, his face intent, his purpose set. She had seen him scared when she’d fallen off the hay bales, and firm and also indulgent with her son. Never had she seen a look like the one he’d given her last night when he’d leaned over her with a delicate cotton swab in his big hand to dab cream on her burn. He’d been so infinitely tender she’d felt her heart roll over in her chest.

  Then, when he’d awakened from his nightmare, reacted violently when she had touched him, she had discovered the depth of the anguish that ate at him. It made her love him even more. The question now was...could she help him? She wasn’t sure he wanted
any help from her. He might regret having told her what he had.

  Watching his face as she eased out of the cozy nest of the chair, she acknowledged that even though she felt differently about him, as if something had fundamentally changed within her and between her and Caleb, she didn’t know if he felt the same. She gathered up her blanket and pillow and headed for her bedroom. Time would tell.

  * * *

  LANEY MADE PANCAKES for breakfast and after they ate, they lingered over their coffee. Bright sun streamed through the window, promising another hot Arizona summer day. She’d thought she would feel awkward in the glare of morning, especially now that she knew what was haunting him, but she didn’t. She felt at ease, relaxed. Happiness bubbled through her.

  To her vast relief, she discovered that her fears were unfounded. Caleb looked more peaceful than she’d ever seen him—and very appealing with his hair mussed and his shirt partly unbuttoned. She could see the scars that laced his chest, but he didn’t seem to mind and she was grateful that he didn’t hurriedly do up the buttons. She loved knowing that he felt at ease with her.

  They talked about their plans for the day. When she’d pick up Sam and when he’d do more “work” for Caleb...mundane conversation that felt right given the dark place they’d been in the night before. There was still much to talk about, but there was time. She didn’t know what the future held, but Laney decided she was in no hurry to rush out to meet it.

  When her phone rang, she had to locate it, searching her duffel bag, tossing clothing aside and then smiling when she saw her mom’s name and number pop up. She carried it back into the kitchen, glad the foolish grin she couldn’t seem to wipe from her face wouldn’t show through the phone.

  “Hello?” She stilled as her mother struggled to speak.

  “La...Laney. That woman was...was here. She took Sam.”

  “Took Sam?” Laney’s heart dropped and began pounding. “What do you mean? What woman?”

  Across the table, Caleb surged to his feet, his gaze fixed on her face.

  “Monette...your old neighbor. The one who works for Child Protective Services. She came here and talked to Sam, then she and a deputy took him away! She said it was for his safety and...and that there was an ongoing investigation. I didn’t hear what she told Sam.”

  “That’s crazy!” Laney said. “His safety? There’s been some kind of mistake. Did she say why?”

  “Child endangerment. That’s why she took him without warning or a meeting with you. She said Sam is in imminent danger. That you let him be around a mountain lion and wild horses and that you left him unattended, and that...that someone had independently confirmed your neglect.”

  “She’s saying I’m responsible for the mountain lion? Wild horses? The only horses he’s been around are...” She stopped as sick dread filtered through her body. Her stricken gaze sought out Caleb.

  “Mom, I’ll straighten this out and call you back.” Punching the end button, she looked at Caleb. “Monette Berkley took Sam. Said I’ve endangered him by letting him be around that mountain lion—as if I’m responsible for where a mountain lion would roam. She also said I’ve let him be near wild horses, but he was never around any—only Addie and her filly. Where did she get that idea?”

  Caleb frowned. “How would I know? I’ve never spoken to her except...” He paused as a vague memory surfaced of the hospital, late at night. “I think she came into my room at the hospital...”

  “What did you say to her?” Laney could feel hysteria rising in her voice, but couldn’t seem to stop it. “Did you tell her I was endangering Sam?”

  “Of course not! I would never say that...” His voice trailed off as he tried to remember. “All right, I don’t know exactly what was said, but I would never deliberately hurt you or Sam.”

  He started toward her. Eyes wide and full of tears, she backed up, her hands palm out to ward him off. “They took him away. My baby. He’s in emergency foster care. He’s probably scared, wondering where I am, why I don’t come for him, thinking he did something wrong.” She skirted around Caleb and ran toward her bedroom.

  He followed her, watching in alarm as she hurriedly brushed her teeth and swept her hair into a neat ponytail, then grabbed clothes from drawers and closet. She dressed in her blue dress with the wide, full skirt and slipped her feet into sandals.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “To get a lawyer and then to the DCS office. I’ve got to get him... I’ve got to get my baby back.”

  Snatching up her purse, she started for the door.

  Caleb snagged her arm as she whirled past. “You’re too upset to drive. I’ll take you. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

  Furiously, she jerked her arm from his grasp. “I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ve never been on this end of this situation before, but I know what to do.”

  She ran out, but Caleb followed right behind, grateful he could now run almost as fast as she could. When she pulled open the door of her Jeep, he slammed it shut. “Let me drive you, Laney.”

  She rounded on him, her eyes furious. “No! You’ve done enough. How could you have said those things? Told her I put Sam in danger? Couldn’t you see she was simply looking for an excuse to take him away?”

  Heartsick, he shook his head. “No, I had no idea. How would I have known that? And I’m sure I never said that you put Sam in danger. Laney, at least let me come with you.”

  Laney only shook her head and shoved him out of the way. “Just stay away from me and my son.” Climbing into the Jeep, she slammed the door and started the engine. Stomping on the gas, she fish-tailed out of the yard, kicking up gravel that had Caleb scrambling out of the way. She didn’t look back as she raced onto the road and disappeared in a screen of dust.

  * * *

  “IT’S DONE. YOU’LL be safe now, Sean,” Monette whispered as she drove away from the foster home where she’d taken Laney’s little boy. His mother couldn’t neglect him now. She couldn’t put him in harm’s way around mountain lions and wild horses.

  Monette was pleased with herself, satisfied with the job she’d done. Even though she had to take a vacation starting Monday, she had done what she’d set out to do. She had saved him. She had saved Sean. No one would hurt him ever again.

  Now she had to get ready for the meeting with her supervisor, with Sean’s mother and maybe a lawyer. That was okay. She was confident she had all the proof she needed to make Sean safe forever.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  HEART POUNDING, HANDS CLAMMY, Laney gripped the steering wheel and forced herself to calm down and focus on driving. It wouldn’t help Sam if she had an accident. Her thoughts scrambled to make sense of this, to think of the fastest and best way to get her son back. Memories swamped her of being small and scared, left in the care of strangers. The thought of Sam being in that situation panicked her.

  Within a few minutes she was at her mother’s house. Vivian was still somewhat hysterical, but Frank and Ethan had begun to calm her down. After they had gone over everything that had happened that morning, Laney and Ethan went to see a friend of his who was an attorney practicing family law.

  Robert Fernandez met them at his office in town and listened to the facts as they knew them.

  “The Department of Child Safety has undergone a complete overhaul in the past year,” he told them. “The first thing that will happen is what’s now known as a Safety Meeting to work out a plan to ensure Sam’s safety at home. We will be present and involved at this meeting. They have up to seventy-two hours to keep him, not including weekends.”

  Laney did a quick calculation in her head. “It’s Thursday, so it might be five days before I get Sam back?”

  “Yes.” Robert gave her an uncomfortable look. “Maybe longer if she can prove that you’ve placed him in danger.”

&nb
sp; Laney fought back tears, trying to understand the enormity of what was happening to her and her son. “When...when will the meeting be?”

  “I’ll push to have one as soon as possible. Tomorrow even. We need to find out exactly what your neighbor said to Monette.”

  Laney shook her head. “He says he doesn’t remember, that she came into his room in the hospital and questioned him... He’d probably had painkillers and he doesn’t react well to them. Who knows what he might have said?”

  Ethan gave her a sharp look, but she glanced away, unwilling to explain how she knew this about a neighbor. She was devastated by Caleb’s betrayal, painkillers or no painkillers. How could he so carelessly let it seem that she neglected her son.

  “Will they let me see Sam today?”

  “I doubt it. Since it was an emergency removal, Monette is probably making sure no family members can see him.”

  “Is that the usual procedure?” Ethan asked.

  “It is with Monette,” Robert said.

  Laney stared at him. “She’s done this before?”

  “I can’t discuss any specific cases with you, but I’ve seen it happening lately.”

  That brought even more alarming questions to Laney’s mind, but she knew she had to focus on getting her son back.

  Robert promised to let them know as soon as he spoke to the DCS clerk. He also said he would talk to Caleb; find out exactly what was said.

  Heartsick at the thought of Sam being alone in a strange place, Laney tried to find reassurance in Robert’s conviction that she would have Sam back within a couple of days. Ethan drove her to her parents’ house where she spent the day, only going home long after dark.

  Laney parked the Jeep and sat staring at her house, loathe to go in because she knew Sam wasn’t there. She probably should have stayed at her parents’ house overnight, but she would have had to come back anyway, to get ready for whatever tomorrow might bring.