Double Grades

by Kristine Robinson

“Aw, okay,” she replied, grabbing hold of my hand. “I’ve got to show you the gardens and then we can do the boat tour!”

  It felt so good not to be taking the lead as we walked towards a path flagged by bright pink, light pink and white Azaleas.

  “I’ve heard about Romantic-style gardens,” I said.

  Cale frowned.

  “Yeah, that’s what this garden is. They’re designed to give you a break from your boring life. An escape from normality!”

  “Yeah, normal is definitely way overrated!”

  I bent down over the flowers and inhaled deeply.

  “Totally! And emotion is more important than reason here, they say!” I added.

  As I saw a white, arched bridge appear in the distance, I let myself submit to the magic of the garden and ran towards it. Cale laughed and the sound of her footsteps trailed close behind mine. I stopped when I reached the center of the bridge and looked down at the perfect reflection in the water. The arch of the bridge, tall green trees, pink and red flowers and two girls standing shoulder to shoulder.

  I put my hands up on the railings of the bridge and sighed.

  “I think it works,” I said and giggled.

  She put her hand on top of mine and again it felt like it belonged there. But what did it mean? Was I attracted to Cale? Was I a lesbian?

  Cale turned and looked at me.

  “It’s not about reason,” she said, moving closer to me, “It’s about what you feel, remember.”

  The gap between us disappeared. Her lips were suddenly touching mine. I closed my eyes. The scent of the flowers and peaceful silence sweetened her kiss. Her soft lips gently caressed mine. Sensual and tender. Her tongue tentatively reached inside and found mine, an eager and willing accomplice in our precious escape. And when I slowly opened my eyes she was still there. We looked at each and then at a bright yellow warbler which had landed two inches away on the bridge railing. It hopped closer and then flew off into the trees.

  As the midday heat soaked into our skin, we eventually broke the precious, frozen moment to explore more of the mysterious plantation, hand in hand. We walked towards the dock and climbed on board the boat just in time for a tour of the rice paddies. The cool breeze brushed up over us as we explored the flooded fields.

  “Aargh!” I cried as I spotted an alligator slipping into the canal.

  Cale laughed and squeezed my hand. I giggled. My mouth began to tire from my constant grin that afternoon. The twists and turns of the paths, with their hidden treasures and delights, seemed to mirror my thoughts that day. Something had changed inside me. I had opened myself up to something new, something as enchanting and harmonious as those ancient, magical gardens.

  ***

  I kicked my sandals off as we stepped onto the sand and approached the tall flames of the bonfire licking the sky. The silhouette of a beach shack set back against the dune sank in and out of the glow of the fire. People were sitting around the fire and a few closer to the shack. Cale stepped up onto the deck and walked towards the locals. A large pineapple was propped on one corner of the deck railing.

  “What’s that doing there?” I asked Cale.

  “Oh, it’s a Charleston thing,” she replied, “It means the person’s home, so come and party!”

  She walked towards the far side of the deck where a small drum kit, guitar, and double bass were set up.

  “Oh cool, you guys going to play?” I asked her.

  She reached out and patted the side of the double bass.

  “Yeah, of course! It’s going to be fun!”

  A short, chubby guy came up to us and shoved shooter glasses into our hands. He whipped a bottle upside down and filled them.

  “Thanks!” I said to him, turned to Cale and clinked my glass against hers.

  “To a never-ending perfect day!” she toasted.

  “I can’t beat that!” I replied. “Cheers!”

  Later that evening, after telling the tenth person about my boring career, Denny arrived in a pair of board shorts and shouted over to Cale.

  “Come on, let’s jam!”

  Cale squeezed my hand and moved back to the far side of the deck. I stared as she wrapped her small hands around the double bass’s thick neck. She made it look so easy, the way she pulled and slapped the strings. I wandered up to the shack after they started their forth bluesy song.

  I found a bowl of punch and scooped some of the strong smelling liquid into a Styrofoam cup.

  The girl who had been singing put the mic back in the stand after the song and jumped down into the sand.

  “Daisy!” Cale shouted.

  I frowned and waved at her from the shack. She beckoned me to come down. Why was she calling me?

  “Come sing, Daisy!”

  What! No. I shook my head vigorously. I wasn’t prepared. I couldn’t. Not just spontaneously.

  “Daisy, yeah. Come on!” Denny echoed.

  “Stop thinking, and just come sing dammit!” Cale shouted and stuck her tongue out at me.

  I sighed and let my feet walk back down to the wooden deck where the musicians beckoned.

  “Okay, just one song!”

  “Yeah, yeah!” they agreed.

  Someone placed a cider down in front of me. I licked my lips. My voice wasn’t used to singing more than one song at a time! My throat had become dry and scratchy by the fourth song. Four songs! How did that happen, I thought. I shook my head and laughed. I took a sip and then another and let the jazz muse lull me into another song.

  “Yeah!” the party crowd shouted.

  I heard them clapping and someone even wolf-whistled when I finally set the mic back in the stand.

  “You’re an awesome singer, Daisy!” Cale said and squeezed my arm.

  “If you say so!” I replied and winked at her.

  The band continued to play for another hour and then took a break. When the gathering began to disband, groups of twos and threes teetering off, we headed back to Cale’s place to continue celebrating. She shared a double-story building with five others. Her room was small and had a balcony which was full when both of us stood on it, looking out at the neighbor’s house. She grabbed my hand, pulled me inside and toppled me onto her low unmade bed. I kissed her and rolled over to the side.

  “I have such fun when I’m with you,” I told her.

  “Yeah I know!” she joked, leaned up and kissed me.

  I loved kissing her satiny lips. But I wasn't sure I was ready for anything else, though.

  As she brought her hand up onto my rounded rear, I pulled away.

  “Err – wait,” I stammered.

  “I know this is new to you, Daisy,” she replied, “We don’t need to do anything you don’t want to.”

  “Thanks,” I said and smiled. “I never thought I would be into –”

  “Women?” she finished.

  I nodded, then took hold of her hand and put it back on my rear. She giggled and stroked downwards to my thigh. I twirled her beaded necklace in my fingers, brushing against the curve of her cleavage. She guided my hand onto the soft flesh of her breast and kept her hand on top of mine. It made it feel okay. It didn’t feel the same as stroking my own like I did in the shower sometimes. It felt exciting and different. I cupped her other breast in my hand and felt my curiosity turn to desire.

  Chapter 5

  I dropped the room key on the counter and headed out to my car. I was sad to leave the quaint hostel. But that wasn’t the only thing I was sad to leave behind. The drive back home gave me far too much time alone with my thoughts.

  I had never felt so at ease, so myself, so happy before. Ever. When my handheld that microphone, or Cale's hand, it took me into another world. A world where I wasn't in a tedious job, working twelve hour days with no life, no fun. No one else that cared, except my parents.

  “Did you make your deadline?” mother had messaged that morning.

  Would I tell them where I’d been? I couldn’t tell them about Cale. They wouldn’t und
erstand. One of the clerks ambushed me as soon as I stepped into the office canteen the following morning.

  “Were you really in Charleston?”

  Wow, news spread faster than a virus here. I didn't want to talk to them about my trip, though. It would take the magic out of it. I wished I hadn’t bragged about it on the message group.

  “Yes,” I replied and turned around to walk off again.

  “Oh cool! What did you do there?”

  Another associate came into the canteen and dragged my interrogator into a work discussion. I quickly slunk passed and headed to my desk. But that wasn’t the only nose to stick itself into my personal affairs. That and the drudgery of answering interrogatories, another box job and more and more research slowly eroded my magic bubble. By the end of the day, my escape to Charleston seemed like a distant dream. As I was finally headed out of the door, one of the last as usual, another curious colleague cornered me.

  “Did you watch any jazz bands in Charleston, Daisy?”

  “What’s that got to do with you?” I snapped, shoved the office door open and stormed out with my armful of files.

  When I was finally alone in my apartment that night, I ate forkful after forkful of my bland ready-made meal as I looked through the photos Cale had posted online. I clicked to accept her friend request and wandered if that was the last time I would ever see her. She surely had many flings with girls and probably guys too.

  I wiped away a stream of tears that rolled down my cheeks. I didn’t think it could be possible, but I then felt worse than I had before the trip.

  ***

  It was two weeks since my trip to South Carolina, but it felt like two months. Or longer. This was the first time I would be seeing my parents since then and I had made an important decision which I was going to tell them at lunch. They were bound to freak out. I had been vacillating between two paths, but I had finally made up my mind. I couldn’t go on pandering to everyone else’s needs for the rest of my life.

  “It’s been such a long time!” mother said, as she embraced me.

  “Yes, you must be up for promotion by now,” dad joked.

  I giggled nervously and bit my bottom lip. I hoped the southern food would bolster my courage. When my order of chicken and waffles arrived, I shifted my plate to the left and then the right.

  “There’s something I want to tell you guys,” I braved and quickly looked down.

  “Oh yes, we have news too,” my mother jumped in.

  “Oh okay, what’s your news?” I asked.

  I embraced the temporary reprieve from making my announcement, looked up at them and smiled.

  “Yes, it’s your dad,” she began.

  I nodded. She usually spoke for him.

  “He’s had some news from the doctor.”

  “Ah-huh.”

  “It’s his blood pressure.”

  I frowned. He had had some difficulties with that before.

  “He has to go back on medication,” she continued.

  My mother was wringing her hands and hadn’t touched her food yet.

  “I’m sorry, dad!” I said looking at him. “That’s not great news.”

  My mother looked at him and sighed. He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted.

  “You are not allowed to leave me, Pat!” she admonished. “It’s too soon!”

  I glared at her. “That’s a bit melodramatic, mother!”

  She brought her hand down heavily on the table top and made the wine glasses wobble.

  “Don’t get mad at me, dear,” she said, “I’ve done my best to keep both of you healthy.”

  I shook my head. “No one’s blaming you!”

  “Oh really?” she said, her voice raised slightly.

  She narrowed her eyes and cut vigorously into her pork chop.

  “Dad –” I began and looked over at him.

  “Leave it, Daisy,” he said, “Let’s just enjoy our food.”

  “Hmm,” my mother mumbled.

  Well, this certainly wasn't the time to bring up my news. And thankfully it looked as though they had forgotten about it.

  “Dad’s going to live another thirty years still!” I declared. “Just watch!”

  They were both silent. An hour later I was back at my office and picked up the file lying on top of my keyboard. A sticky note was attached to the front. It was from one of the partners.

  “Good job, Miss Daisy. Keep it up!”

  He had given me the nickname when I asked for extra time on an assignment in my first week. It was only an internal memo but I had wanted it to be perfect. The name had stuck ever since, luckily only with the partners.

  I sighed. I was good at my job. Very good. Was it wrong to think of giving it all up after all those years of study and sacrifice? Was it just a selfish notion? I opened the file and looked at the minor changes he’d made in red ink.

  Chapter 6

  I narrowed my eyes and craned my neck forward. Was I imaging things? I stepped into the road and crossed over to the other sidewalk. I strode as casually as I could towards the café table downstairs from my apartment. Sitting casually under the shade of an umbrella, drinking a beer, was Cale.

  “Wha- what are you doing here?” were the first words to tumble out of my mouth.

  “Well,” she responded and smiled, “Nice to see you too!”

  I laughed nervously. “I’m sorry!” I said. “I’m just so surprised to see you!”

  I put my hands out awkwardly, bent down and went in to give her a hug. She stood up, put her arms around me and then took a step backward.

  “Okay, I know you’re weirded out to see me,” she said. “Relax!”

  She giggled. “Sit down, have a drink!” she continued.

  I sat down. My mind was buzzing. What was she doing here? Was there anyone around that I knew? Could people tell she was a lesbian? I ordered a cup of coffee and remembered to breathe.

  “We’ve got a gig here tonight and I thought I’d try to track you down and surprise you!"

  Then her green eyes melted through my fears and drew the real me to the fore.

  “It’s so good to see you!” I said suddenly, as my heart pounded through my tingling body.

  “Yeah, you haven’t replied to my messages in weeks,” she replied. “I wondered if you were okay.”

  “I am now!” I said.

  The café, the afternoon heat, the passersby, the face brick wall of my apartment complex, all faded away.

  “We’re leaving again tomorrow, but I was hoping you’d come to the show tonight.”

  “Of course,” I replied instantly.

  She put her hand on top of mine.

  “Good!” she said, “so do I get to see this fancy pad of yours or what?” she asked pointing behind her.

  I led her up the two flights of stairs to my apartment. That night the stairs were a lot harder to climb after the deluge of free drinks we received at her gig. I didn’t go on the stage that time. It was professional set. I barely recognized Cale when I arrived at the venue south of the city. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She had her hair combed neatly in a side path and pinned back. A tight, red strapless dress hugged her slim figure and reached down to just above her knees.

  The audience applauded as loudly and vigorously as their conservatism would allow during their two part set. At the end, I joined the band in the upstairs cigar lounge. A gentleman in an Antonio Ciongoli suit bought a round of drinks for the whole band and company. And then another and another. It was hard to say no when no one else did. I felt part of the crew and almost like I was back in Charleston again.

  At my apartment, I reached up to steady myself on the stair railing. The last few stairs. Then finally my door. We stumbled inside and flopped down on my bed. My living room and bedroom were one and the same. Apartments weren’t cheap in West Midtown.

  Cale undid the buttons of my white fitted shirt, leaned down and kissed the top of my breasts, busting out the top of my bra. The feeli
ng of her lips on the sensitive skin made me squirm. She brought her face up to mine. I savored her sensual kiss and sought her tongue with mine. She sat up and whipped her dress off over her head and threw it on the floor. All she had on now was a pair of panties with a white lace trim and little white skulls on a black background.

  Her firm, teardrop breasts stared at me. And I stared at them. Cale laughed.

  “You can touch them,” she joked.