My Demonic Ghost: Banished Spirits

by Maree, Jacinta

  Despite my best efforts of keeping myself calm, I felt my heart cringe and break. Eyes of mint scolded my face as if I were an alien. Evan stirred and fluttered his lashes, the misty fog of his body tightened into a detailed image as if he was a solid being and not an imprint of a former life. I fell to my knees. He’s here. He’s safe. That was that best I could wish for.

  And then, he smiled. Weakly. Lifting the corners of his lips so his raspy voice could call out to me. It was soft and shallow, like he was speaking through a dream, “You found me.”

  In his spiritual form he glowed with energy, with power and confidence that didn’t look devilish in the slightest. A fallen angel, that’s what he really was.

  “You… you know who I am?” My lips were numb, heart galloping with uncertain hope, so fragile I could shatter at any second, “You didn’t forget…”

  I was so scared that this was just an illusion. That he’ll blink and shake his head, disregarding me as a mistake.

  Evan scoffed and sat himself up, “I could never forget you.”

  He tilted his head back, never stopping his smile from glowing. “You’re the only person who actually cared enough to come looking for me…”

  He leaned forward, closing the distance. He didn’t make a sound, though my heart was pounding hard and loud enough for the both of us. His hand out stretched, soft cold fingers ready to take a hold of my cheek, to touch me, keep me still, as he finished his kiss. The distance between us vanished. He wasn’t a spirit, I wasn’t human. He didn’t act fourteen, and I didn’t look fifteen. We were just beings falling hopelessly in love with each other, everything was perfect. But his fingers fell through my skin, and in an agonised surprise Evan’s smile instantly dropped. Oh, but there is still a difference… My smile was sad for just a moment.

  “It’s okay, Lock.”

  “Call me Evan.”

  With two hands he leaned in and made another attempt to cup my face. A dark spiral, soft and thin like a broken cloud, looped around us. Evan started to change colour swiftly and I instantly threw my hand up to stop him.

  “I know I was the one who forced you into doing the Forbidden Act and turning yourself into a human, but you’re stronger as a ghost so I don’t-”

  “I’m not doing this for you…”

  He continued to lean in, slowly, just as the smoke engulfed the attic. His fingers tingled at the touch of me; his body filling out into solid build as his lips, still ghostly, planted onto mine and pressed in with his gradual transformation. The smoke faded and he held me in my spot. The waft of lemongrass stung my mouth, the air blooming with the scent of wood and pine. Fingers shuffled to entangle themselves with my hair. His touch controlled me. He titled his head and took a hold of my lower lip, drawing it in.

  The wind of his breath sat on the nape of my neck, his head craning in, lingering his warm mouth at the tip of my ears. “Do you choose me?”

  Mum’s voice called from below the stairs. She called for me, her steps so busy downstairs that they echoed through the hallway and bounced through the attic walls. I jerked my head around my shoulder and glared at her invasion. I turned back to Evan and noticed that he was back to his human complexion, toasted brown on top of olive skin. Green eyes sitting obediently underneath a rim of his fringe.

  “Umm… I have to go…” I motioned towards the hallway. I pulled out the Hemi spike and placed it at his feet before leaving.

  It pained me to have to get up, my arms still pulsing from where I hugged him tightly. But that was nothing to the pain I felt shoot through my chest, having to walk out and shut the attic door. To keep him locked back inside that room. Evan did not protest or falter in expression, he just sat there and watched as the door hit its frame to a close.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight:

  Dad had been cremated. That was his last request; he didn’t want his body left behind in case they tried to make a puppet out of him again. The vase that held his ashes was a painted dull grey with black vines intertwined around the curves like criss-crossing branches.

  I walked into the lounge to find Dean standing among my family. He waved me over.

  “He said he wanted to pay respects to George,” Grandma Beth stroked Dean’s shoulder as if she were patting a delicate child.

  Mum walked to the front and pulled out a folded piece of paper from her pocket. I cried the hardest at her struggles to speak. When she had finished her shoulders fell like she had finally released the guilt she had carried. Grandma trembled on her own speech, my aunty standing up there with her and hugging her shoulders, making sure grandma didn’t feel alone.

  When it was my turn, I didn’t know where to start. I walked up to the vase and held my fingertips against its cold body. Dad was here, listening. I took a few moments to collect myself but I couldn’t stop the sadness from wrenching at my heart.

  “I just wanted to let you know, that I love you with my whole heart, dad… and I’m sorry that I haven’t been the best daughter to you. Things have changed so much now. And I know now, more than ever, that you’re going to be alright... You’ll always be here with me, even when it feels like you’re not. I love you.”

  My fingers slipped, my hand dropped back to my side.

  I stood back and Mum held me tighter. It’s not fair. You can’t stop yourself from thinking back to all those wasted opportunities. I should’ve visited back then, or I could’ve made such a difference if only I had stopped my “important” life for two seconds to really connect with him better. To see the heartbreak worn on my family’s faces, I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I tried to bite my lips and blink my tears away, but I was not indifferent to my Mum’s angry sobs or my Nan’s long mournful wails. I had to look away from Mum as her lips trembled and her once strong face melted into vulnerability and loneliness.

  By the end of the ceremony, I was so exhausted that I could barely stand. I lounged in silence on the couch, Mum and my aunties and uncles, my grandmas and grandpa and cousins all socializing in the dining room. Even Dean seemed to fit in with my family more than I did. I couldn’t stop the sleep and fell, defeated by its seduction.

  No one woke me until about 6, and thereafter I itched in my seat. With every hour that passed, I would think of Evan and tense. Waiting there, waiting in the attic. I bet he was wondering if I was even coming back. A part of me knows that he won’t move; he would wait for me to return even if it means waiting another life time. Hours or minutes, it felt like a life sentence sitting on the couch.

  Night time came as I hugged the last one of my family goodnight. It was dark and very late, the trains had stopped running so everyone scattered themselves around the house. My aunties and uncles who had bigger families went into town to find a nice hotel to stay in, there not being enough beds to accommodate the children.

  I offered my bed to my Grandma Beth, she went to refuse but I insisted, saying I preferred the couch anyway. The couch, though, was given to my Uncle, my Mum’s older brother, and he slept with snores that could cause an avalanche. Dean had whispered his goodnights to me, his own sorrow of losing Nicole all over again taking its toll on him. He was asleep on the large chair in front of the fire, the seat folded back so he was lying horizontal. As soon as I was free, I went back to the attic.

  I slowly slipped into the closed room, the loud groan of its hinges sound like a scream throughout the silent house. Evan’s head perked up and his eyes dilated underneath the moon light, his back completely smothered by the metallic blue.

  “Evan,” I exhaled and reached out to him. He welcomed me willingly.

  “I’m sorry about your dad…” his voice whispered, “I know he loved you very much. He wouldn’t stop talking about you or your mother.” I hugged him back just as firmly. I wondered if it was in the nature of Banished spirits to grieve for past Hosts, that Evan had actually missed him. Evan is not like the others, I told myself. That was true, Evan was special. He felt as the living felt.

  I spent that night sleeping on t
he cold wooden floor, Evan being my mattress, blanket, pillow, and safety net. He was cold, like hugging a mannequin, and I kept jerking awake at weird dreams. Scary dreams that I woke from, shivering. Evan would stroke my hair, kiss my cheek and hum. It broke my heart to hear him singing that same song again.

  After falling back to sleep for what felt like only seconds, I woke and rubbed at my eyes, feeling the sting of their night’s rest tingle under my eye lids. Evan sat up beside me, his head angled down to my yawning face, a small eyebrow raise when catching my eyes. It was still surprisingly dark, probably too dark for it yet to be morning. I glanced towards the high window. Darkness!

  “You awake now? Do you see?” Evan asked. I stretched my back muscles as uncomfortable aches pulsated from my calves up to the middle of my spine. “Do you see?” he asked again, more eagerly this time.

  “See what?”

  He motioned his head sideways. I followed, confused, and almost shrieked in my surprise at Mother who was sitting in the dark.

  “Did… Did you call her?” I scooted away from Mother’s enormous serpent tail.

  “Not me...” Evan motioned towards my ankle with a tilt of his chin, “I think she came for you.”

  I pulled up my leg to look at the scarred skin from where she caught my ankle, marking me. “She’s been waiting for a while now… Just standing over there.” I looked up and caught the serpents curled smiled.

  “What does she want?”

  “I think she wants us to go.”

  Suddenly Mother lunged, seizing me, nearly attacking with her eagerness as she slapped a mask on with the quickness of a bullet. I lurched forward as we were thrown into the dark globe of her madness.

  Darkness morphed into more darkness. I waited for the attack, an explosion of any type of new, alien sensation to knock me onto my knees but nothing changed. We kept standing in this spot, in the middle room between two Realms, not quite the living and not reaching the spirit. Evan’s hand reached out from beside me, knocked my hip to make sure I was still there.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I… I don’t know. Mother… I’ve never seen her act that way before. Did you make her angry?” Evan asked.

  “No! I mean, I don’t think so… Is she even allowed to do that? Just fling us into the Sin world whenever she feels like it?”

  “I think she can now.” I peered into the darkness where Evan’s voice was, then back at my ankle. “Regardless, this doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel like a Sin Realm.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you think she made a mistake?”

  I tensed and strained my eyes, my brows tightening under the glare.

  “She wouldn’t… no. She couldn’t have made a mistake, spirits don’t do that. Right?” I stuttered and moved forward. Evan grabbed hold of me, his grip slipping away as I moved, before he made another snatch at my shoulder. I stopped where he held me, and gradually his grip tightened.

  “Don’t move!” he whispered softly. I obeyed, against every nerve fibre telling me to bolt, to search the room for an escape out of this black globe.

  His grip tightened, moving back to my wrist. He took my other hand, folding his fingers neatly between the gaps of my fingers. I moved back to where I was.

  “Did you see something?” I asked. There was a moment of pause before he answered me.

  “Rachael?”

  “Yeah?” Again silence. I glanced over at him and could see his faint silhouette posted next to me, his head turned in my direction.

  “Yeah?” He asked me back.

  “I said, did you see something?”

  “Something?”

  “Don’t mess around Evan. Did you see something; like a spirit or something?”

  “She wouldn’t… no. She couldn’t have made a mistake, spirits don’t do that. Right?” He mimicked in perfect urgency to my voice. I waited a moment, a little unsure of what to say to him. “Don’t move!” He suddenly exclaimed.

  “I’m not movi-”

  “Did you see something?”

  I cringed back, confused. “You’re not making any sense Evan…”

  “Rachael?” The hands that held me, soft between each palm started to tighten and flex. The smooth maple skin became rough and sticky, holding my hands down in place like clamps. I yanked at them but they didn’t budge, Evan didn’t even falter at the jerk of my arms.

  “Evan… what’s going on?” I pulled again but he only held me tighter.

  “Rachael?”

  “You’re hurting me! Let go!”

  “You’re not making any sense…”

  “Evan… Evan?!?”

  “Did you see something?” At that moment, just as I swung my arms up at the elbows, some sort of starlight beam passed by Evan’s head; a soft syrup yellow that swept across him as fast as a camera flash. The skeleton-white web bounced the light off his face. Could I even call that a face? It had no eyes, no nose or ears… just a black hole where the mouth should be. I froze in mid-scream, a breath bolting down and into my lungs ready to carry out my siren. The silvery spider web imitation of Evan cocked his head, as if confused by my anguish. I tried pulling away again but he only wavered slightly, his legs trunks of web still rooted into the ground.

  “Let me go! Evan?” I screamed out. The imitation hand unclasped my fingers and slapped my cheek, the pain vibrating down my neck; its sticky palm staying glued to my warm face.

  “Rachael….” it whispered, the voice so perfectly real that I almost believed it was Evan in front of me again. “Love only me…”

  I recoiled just as a hand spun me around. Evan, the real Evan with mint eyes and pink lips pulled me towards him. Thankfully, the imposter let me go without a struggle.

  “There you are.”

  He walked forward as I stumbled after him, unable to see the ground underneath us. His arm swiped through the blank space in front, knocking down a veil of web and breaking open a hole where yellow lights shone from the cracks in the rocky cave roof. Swinging in pods of webs were clusters of silver tombs, all of them so tightly wound that there was no doubt in my mind each poor victim’s bones would have been crushed before they could suffocate.

  Evan glanced around the room, unbothered by the sacks, before taking off and running his palms across the cave walls. I tiptoed closer to the bundles and sniffed the air around them. Yeah… smells like death.

  “Okay,” Evan returned and gently took my shoulder, “Let’s think who this could be. We’re done Gluttony, Sloth, and Envy...”

  “Vanity,” I continued but paused, Evan having just shot me a disapproving glare, while I shrugged shyly at him.

  “Yeah, and Vanity. So we have only three left, Lust… Greed… and Wrath.” I couldn’t stop myself from shuddering. Wrath. I couldn’t even master up enough courage to picture what that expedition would be like.

  We both searched around once more, a little disturbed by the silence of the cave. It was a large cave, with many, many tunnels poking out from the walls, floors and ceilings. The surface was rocky, uneven and rough, as if the rocks had been scratch and attacked by thousands of scalpels. The only things that seem to be of any interest were the left over meals hanging by threads from the ceilings. Evan reached out, slowly but bravely, and caressed one of the bags.

  “I wonder who’s in here.” His fingers slipped by the silvery web and, at his touch, the bundle starting to shiver and pulsate. We both flinched by the reaction of what we presumed to be a lifeless cacoon.

  Suddenly, we were surrounded by their noise. It was as if a silent alarm had been set off, a scatter of about 5 different cocoons started to stir and grumble and hollow out into the empty space. But these were not voices of struggling victims. They were low, angry, snarling and some even shrieking in the madness of laughter, violently kicking as hard as one could against their skin tight barriers. I screamed at their uproar and clung to Evan, who also stumbled back, eyes wide in his surprise.

  Amongst the demoni
c snarling of what I could only assume were monsters, maybe even goons, were a few softer voices mixed in and hidden. One was female, the other was male. Both of them screamed for attention but in comparison to the monsters they were drowned out. Whatever sin had harvested these creatures would’ve surely heard their cries and would be sprinting its way here to collect some more.

  There were too many entrances of which the Sin could burst through, but the cave was silent. Well, except for the moaning from the faceless webs.

  “I don’t like it here. Let’s get out.”

  “You know we can’t, Rach.”

  He very lightly took my arm and when I turned into him, rubbed my back so I would calm down. We backed ourselves up against the wall and waited. And waited. And waited. Our heartbeats slowed with our decreasing panic until we hit the point where we allowed ourselves to breathe.

  Evan turned my attention to the low moans from the human voices. One sac was near the back wall, pinned up against the rocks while the other sat high on the roof, its thread thick but short. Evan motioned for me to attend to the cocoon at the rear. I squirmed but obeyed, knowing that if I was in the same situation, I would want the person to rescue me.

  “H-Hello?” The cocoon stirred at my approach. Inside was the male’s voice.

  Quickly, I tried to rip my fingers through the web but it was tough like steel.

  “Evan, pass me the blade.”

  Evan slid the weapon towards me across the ground, where I scooped it up and carefully started to cut the strings. The webbing felt like wire as I peeled the silver back, working both hands vigorously. The smell was putrid as I peeled back the last layer; this man had definitely been in here for a very long time. The male inside the bundle craned his neck for the fresh air that had been barred from him for so long, and then, blinking continuously, he cracked open his weary eyes against the light. He was old and fragile, thin to the point where he had no fat or muscle in his body. I moved the blade down so that he could step free, releasing his legs. They moved like they were made of jelly, crashing underneath his weight. The old man coughed before reaching out his arm, asking me to help him up.