Harlequin Superromance February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: His Forever GirlMoonlight in ParisWife by Design

by Liz Talley

  Silence fell hard and the tinkling of the waterfall fountain thing might as well have been fingernails on a chalkboard. Tess already knew that. What she didn’t know was how to forgive him so she could deal with his illness.

  “Let me say that again, Tess. He is your father.”

  “But he didn’t remember he was my father when it came time to choose his replacement. I’m his daughter.”

  “So you are,” Maggie said with a sigh. “But have you ever paused to wonder if you were the one who was wrong?”

  She jerked her gaze up to Maggie’s. “What?”

  “Have you ever examined the notion you truly aren’t ready to run the company?”

  Her mother’s question might as well have been a bucket of cold water in the face. Not ready? “How can you even suggest that?”

  “How can I not?”

  Tess looked away, grappling with the thought her own mother didn’t think she was able to run Ullo. Tess was capable of running the company. Sure, there would be a learning curve, just like at Upstart. But Tess knew she could do it, and that her own mother doubted her felt like a razor blade swiped across her heart.

  Maggie waited.

  Tess raised her gaze to the woman who’d always believed her daughter could do anything she set her mind to. “You don’t think I can.”

  Maggie hesitated for a few minutes, seemingly looking for the right words. “I’m not sure. You know the answer to that, but you’ve clung to the belief it was your birthright for so long, you never stopped to consider whether it was the right place for you. I don’t work for Ullo. My job is to love the man who built the company...and my job is to love you.”

  Tess sank back on the cushion. “I can run Ullo.”

  “Maybe the question is not whether you can run Ullo, but if you are ready to run it at this moment.”

  “Yes,” Tess said, even though a flicker of doubt grew stronger within her. She’d never stopped to really think about her father’s motivation for hiring Graham. Maybe it wasn’t that he hadn’t thought Tess capable of being the head honcho, but rather that she wasn’t prepared for the task at present. Or maybe she would have never been ready to step into her father’s shoes. Maybe she’d already found the shoes that fit her...and she hadn’t wanted to let go of her intention. “This is what I’d been working toward. I followed in Dad’s footsteps because my brothers didn’t. I did this for him. For Ullo.”

  “Is that the right answer?” her mother asked, her expression thoughtful. Annoyingly thoughtful.

  Tess wanted to slap her mother for making her think—no, doubt—all she had believed. “I’ve always thought it was the right answer.”

  “Maybe it is, but your father never made any of you feel as if you had to work for Ullo. He made sure each of his children knew they were free to find their own path and follow it. He’s always been proud you chose to work in the world he loves, but he never said he’d give you the key to the company one day, did he?”

  “No,” Tess said, feeling a lump in her throat. Those words hurt. God, they hurt almost as much as the day her father had said them from the chair in which Graham now sat. “I always thought that’s what he intended. That he had faith in me. He’s never questioned my abilities.”

  “He does have faith in you, and he’s been amazingly patient while you’ve figured things out,” Maggie said, clasping her hands and leaning forward. “Don’t you get it, sweetheart?”

  Tess stared at her mother, the woman she’d expected to be on her side, the woman that she expected to cajole her to reconcile with her father...not make her doubt herself. Not make her examine herself. Tess shook her head and blinked the tears away.

  Maggie gave her a small smile. “Your father wasn’t slighting you or saying he didn’t trust you—”

  “Then why didn’t he tell me about Graham to begin with?” Gone was the hurt of her mother siding with Frank, and in its stead reared aggravation. “Dad never had the conversation he should have had with me. He allowed me to think this, Mom.”

  “Frank never wants to hurt you,” Maggie said.

  “Really? ’Cause he did, Mom. He should have respected me enough to tell me I wasn’t good enough.”

  “I’m not saying he handled this well.”

  “Finally, something we agree on.” Tess folded her arms, feeling justified...petulant. No matter what her father believed, he should have been honest. Tess deserved as much.

  “There is no black and white in this situation, Tess.”

  “No shit,” Tess muttered.

  Maggie briefly narrowed her eyes before sucking in a deep breath. “I can admit Frank made mistakes, but his frame of mind was to protect you. He’s a man who has spent his entire life working hard to take care of us all, and he found out he has pancreatic cancer. Can you imagine what he felt?”

  “Of course I can’t imagine, but you can’t use his cancer as justification for tricking me.”

  “Shut up,” Maggie said, her eyes crackling. “Just put your outrage on hold and listen to me for a minute.”

  “Fine.” Tess pressed her lips together.

  “All our dreams of retirement are—poof—up in smoke. And it’s not just about the family he leaves behind. It’s about the company with its fifty-plus employees. All of that places an enormous burden on your father. Have you thought about that?”

  “You said ‘leave behind,’” Tess said, her heart trembling at the thought of what might happen. No. What would likely happen. Up until this point her mother had been super positive, refusing to even think Frank could leave anyone or anything behind. The possibility of Frank not beating this cancer had never been uttered.

  Maggie’s eyes sheened and she looked away, blinking rapidly. “Look, I’m not giving up on your father, but you and I both know the percentage of people who have beaten this kind of cancer is not good. My point is, your father has a lot he’s worrying about and all of this has been very tough on him. Maybe he couldn’t face telling you one-on-one that he didn’t think you capable of running Ullo yet. You aren’t the easiest of people, Tess.”

  “What do you mean by that? You make me sound like I’m some kind of unreasonable diva. I’m not.”

  “No.” Maggie paused for several seconds before turning her gaze back to Tess. “You’ve never taken no for an answer. It’s a great quality...sometimes.”

  Not easy? Never take no for an answer? Her mother made her sound...spoiled. So maybe she was a little manipulative when it came to getting her way, but she wasn’t a total pill. “I take no for an answer.”

  “But only after you’ve exhausted every angle. You don’t make it easy.”

  Tess stared at her mother, disbelief gathering inside.

  Maggie spread her hands. “Remember when you wanted your ears pierced? Or how about when you wanted your soccer team to wear bright green cleats? Or when you wanted the VW Bug? Or when it came to picking colleges? Or the paint color in your condo? From sleepovers to cereal choices, you wheedled and wore us down until you got what you wanted. You’re not a diva, but you are a master manipulator.”

  “No, I’m discriminating. That doesn’t mean I’m irrational or illogical...or can’t accept not getting my way.”

  Her mother’s blank stare said it all.

  And Tess didn’t want to admit she was right, but... “Okay, I’m slightly difficult.”

  “Well, your father is overloaded with difficult things at present. Maybe he was cowardly and dishonest, but he’s not perfect, and neither are you.”

  “So you’re saying it’s okay to lie to me and sneak behind my back to hire a new CEO,” Tess intoned, still aggravated by her mother’s calling a spade a spade.

  “I’m telling you your father loves you, didn’t want to hurt you and has never been good at telling you no. If he’d have told you what he plan
ned, you would have talked him out of it. You would have made him make you CEO, which in his emotional state of mind might not have been a wise decision. So he went around you.”

  Her mother’s words found their mark, and again, pierced her. But she knew those words were true.

  From early on, Tess had always been able to talk her father into anything she wanted. Case in point, he’d bought her diamond earrings when she was seven, donated lime green cleats to her eighth grade soccer team and a bright red convertible VW Bug had tooled her around the campus of the college she insisted on. Tess was accustomed to getting what she wanted...mostly because Frank Ullo had seen she got it. “You make me sound like a bad person.”

  Anger flashed in her mother’s eyes. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Tess. You know that’s not what I’m doing. You are a very good person, but your father spoiled you. Quite frankly, I think he realized it when the doctor gave him the diagnosis and he had to think hard about what direction to go with his company.”

  Tess stood and walked to the edge of the patio. She’d held on to her anger at her father for weeks, and then when she’d found out he was gravely sick, the guilt and confusion over what she felt had blanketed her, smothering the rage she’d felt over the slight she’d perceived her father to give her. She’d never looked at it from his point of view, never wanted to even entertain the idea she couldn’t slip right into the old man’s shoes and run the company without a hitch.

  Turning away from the beauty of the emerging cannas along the fence line, she looked at her mother. Maggie had always seemed eternally youthful, but in that moment, Tess noted how tired she looked. Her roots showed gray, and her face seemed more lined than ever. Worrying about her husband had taken its toll on her. “My emotions are so mixed up, Mom. I don’t know what to do.”

  Maggie came to Tess and wound an arm about her waist. “You’ll find a way. You always do.”

  “I’m still hurt, and there’s no way to fix what I’ve done. I work for Upstart. It’s like I’m not even an Ullo anymore.” Emotion welled in her, choking her at the thought of what she’d done for pride’s sake. What she’d given up because she couldn’t accept the fact her father might have been right.

  “Ah, Tess, that will never be true. You’re an Ullo to your core. Your father is proud of you no matter who you work for.” Maggie smiled at her. “And I am, too.”

  Tess had tried so hard not to cry, but tears came anyway. “This has all been so terrible, Mama. Everything in my life feels so off-kilter. How can I change that?”

  Maggie wrapped her arms around Tess, and the emotion unleashed. Just like in Graham’s car, grief, hurt and anger swamped Tess, rending her control, sloughing away any power she had against the feeling. For several seconds she allowed herself to cling to her mother’s strength.

  Finally, Maggie eased Tess away from her. “I can’t fix things for you, baby. You should have learned that long ago. Or...maybe I learned it.”

  “That was before. When my life was golden.”

  “Life can’t be golden every day. Having dark days makes the golden ones precious. Believe me, I’ve learned to bask in the light and hold tight to the memories of the sun on my shoulders during times I can’t see. Nothing’s perfect, Tess. You just never learned to accept that sometimes good and bad must exist together.”

  “I haven’t had much bad in my life until recently. Now everything’s turned to shit.” Tess rubbed her eyes.

  Maggie sighed. “Yeah, it is kind of shitty, but we’ll survive as best we can, enjoying the golden moments that crop up.”

  For a moment, they stood quietly, each wrapped in their own thoughts.

  “Mama?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I can’t talk to Daddy yet. I need more time.”

  Maggie turned and measured her with astute green eyes before giving a curt nod. “Okay, you think about the words we exchanged today, but...”

  Tess looked up, expecting more words of wisdom.

  “...don’t take too long thinking about forgiveness. Imagine a world without your father. Imagine a world in which you never break through your anger at him. Your life has always been better because your father was in it.”

  And then something hit Tess. A sort of understanding, heavy and dark, slammed into her. There were no words for what it was. Or maybe there were, but Tess couldn’t have found them.

  And it hurt like a knife stuck into her soul.

  “Mom, don’t say that. Don’t act like he won’t make it,” Tess said, her voice cracking.

  Her mother shook her head, waving off the tears, waving off falling apart as she’d done for all of Tess’s life. “Don’t. Don’t make me cry.”

  Tess sank back against the cushions and fell silent while her mother reclaimed herself. Finally, Maggie tugged her tunic shirt down, breathed deeply and gave a small smile. “I have to get back to lunch. If I burn the sauce, your grandmother will tell everyone in Golden Oaks. Last time, I got recipe cards from three of the women there.”

  Tess tried to smile but the effort fell flat. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  Maggie nodded and walked up the stone pavers toward the grand patio sweeping across the back of the house. Well-maintained flower beds spilled beautiful blooms onto the manicured lawn. Everything was picture-perfect, the absolute best available, marred only by the cancer growing inside the walls her mother entered.

  The irony soured Tess’s stomach.

  She closed her eyes as if doing so allowed her to close out the world she didn’t want to face.

  But that was the problem.

  She’d stuck her head in the sand and hoped things like dealing with her father and dealing with what she felt for Graham would go away. Thing was...they hadn’t.

  Can’t run from the world, Tess.

  She’d have to face her demons, putting one foot in front of the other. The first hurdle she’d face would be her father.

  The fact he’d lied to her, even by omission, still hurt. Then fresh pain tumbled in at knowing he’d tried to protect her from her own ego. He’d tried to fix her mistakes before she’d even made them, planning from his grave to take care of Tess. Something about that thought was comforting, and the other half was maddening. He hadn’t had faith in her.

  But maybe she’d had too much faith in herself.

  She’d never considered her father might be right. So certain she could handle every situation that came up at Ullo, Tess hadn’t accepted any weaknesses in her skill set. But she’d learned very quickly at the smaller Upstart, she had little experience with hammering out contracts, crunching the numbers, dealing with insurance and codes and reviewing the legalities. At Ullo, she’d always handed that stuff over to someone else. Working hard to prove herself, she’d struggled with the nuances in which Monique had expected her to be proficient...the ones Tess had never learned because she’d never had to.

  Not to mention she still dealt with hostility from Cecily, blowback from the artists and delicate intrapersonal relationships with Josh and Monique. The pressure Monique placed on her to bring in new accounts pulled at her day and night.

  What would things be like if she’d stayed at Ullo?

  Had her pride led her to greater hardship? Had it pointed her in a direction she was never meant to travel?

  She didn’t know the answers to any of her own questions, and unfortunately, her mother had been right.

  Tess would have to walk the path she’d hacked out of the jungle of life on her own. Any missteps would be her own. Time to own her mistakes, suck it up and move forward. There were no do-overs.

  But she could move forward with a better vision, accepting exactly what her mother had said—life isn’t perfect.

  To recognize the good, she had to experience the bad.

  Tess rose, and like her mother moments ago,
straightened her shirt, took a deep breath and gave the world a tremulous smile.

  * * *

  FRANK ULLO FORCED HIMSELF to sit up straight at the dinner table when all he really wanted to do was lie down. Some people who underwent chemotherapy didn’t feel too bad. Some did. He was in the latter category, which made him angry. The least this bastard cancer could do was leave what little he had left of life alone.

  His family chattered as if it were just another Sunday. He supposed it was just another Sunday to them, but to him it was the fourteenth Sunday since he found out he was dying. Thinking about the day that way caused an incessant pricking of his conscience.

  How many more Sundays did he have?

  Looking down the table, Frank settled his gaze on his youngest, who’d been awfully polite and quiet during the meal. He’d seen Maggie take her out for a talk. Part of him resented his wife’s interference, part of him felt relief. He and Tess had gone too long without talking.

  She lifted her eyes and caught his gaze. Holding it this time, rather than looking away, her eyes filled with tears. The sight ripped at his heart. Tess dropped her eyes and shoveled her food around on her plate before looking around at her brothers and their wives assembled at the table. The kids were all in the kitchen and the meal had passed without any bickering or spilled iced tea.

  Clearing her throat, Tess asked, “Do you guys think I’m difficult?”

  His sons stopped eating and looked at their much younger sister.

  “What do you mean?” Joseph asked. This son was always calm and reasonable, repressing the dreamer he’d once been.

  “I mean, do you guys think I’m hard to deal with?”

  Maggie pressed her lips together and looked at him. Frank raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

  Michael laughed. “What dude has told you this?”

  Tess grimaced. “This isn’t about a guy. I’m just wondering.”

  “Hell, yeah, you’re difficult,” Frank, Jr. said, jabbing a fork at her. “You always have been. Remember when she was teething, Ma? And we couldn’t get her to stop biting everything? She bit the poor dog every time we turned around.”