If You Love Me, I'm Yours

by Lizzie Chantree

  Hearing the doorbell chime and pulling her heavy bones up to answer it, as Dot was stuffing her face again and going nowhere, Maud decided she’d have to leave them to it. Walking to the door and hearing Dot call out for second helpings of pasta, Maud wondered how such a slim person could eat as much as ten men and still look like the wind could blow her over. Maud just had to look at a bag of crisps and magically the equivalent calories appeared on her thighs. She’d been desperately dieting to be able to wear a pretty dress to her exhibition, and she had shed some pounds, her clothes were looser, but it had been mental torture. Especially with the amount of chocolate biscuits that were always offered round in the staffroom at school, and the box of chocolates that Tom had surprised her with at lunchtime the previous day, even though she’d told him she was trying to get fit. He’d parried that she was gorgeous as she was, as he liked something to grab on to, and she’d almost thumped him in the face with the chocolate box. Maybe he was a bit frustrated as they hadn’t had a lot of time alone, but she’d not known whether to be insulted that he thought she had love handles, or complimented that he fancied her. They weren’t an ‘official’ couple yet, as they had avoided the subject for the first few months and just flirted a lot and gone out occasionally. Lately, they had agreed not to date anyone else while they were getting to know each other.

  Opening the door to Daisy, she smiled and pulled her into a hug, loving the feel of her friend’s warm body, but noticing she had lost weight too, which made Maud concerned as Daisy was open about loving her curves. Daisy was so different to Dot, but they could both be darn bossy when it came to their friendships and Maud was determined they would get on.

  ‘I’ve saved you some pasta. Dot’s in the lounge.’ Seeing Daisy’s face scrunch up in distaste, she placed an arm around her waist in a show of solidarity and shepherded her in. Dot actually smiled up and acknowledged Daisy for once and Daisy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. ‘Dot was looking forward to you coming round, weren’t you, Dot?’ Maud gave Dot one of the stares she gave naughty pupils in her class and Dot sighed and got up to make room for Daisy to sit down next to her.

  ‘Of course! We were just saying how great it is to have your input, as you were the one who got us all together in the first place, weren’t we, Maud?’ she parroted.

  Maud brought Daisy a steaming portion of Bolognese, thankful that Dot had left her a small bowlful, and they all leaned forward to begin making decisions about the upcoming show.

  ‘Are you keeping up the mystery of who you are, all the way to the show?’ Daisy asked.

  Maud was about to reply but Dot jumped in. ‘We are, although it’s amazing really as Maud didn’t have a clue what she was doing,’ Daisy and Maud exchanged glances. ‘She managed to create an incredible media buzz. It would cost thousands to buy that kind of publicity and, for a first time artist, it’s like gold dust.’ She barely paused for breath. ‘We need to keep the momentum going, but from now on Maud is going to consider her work as valuable property and not leave quite so many free samples around.’ Dot tried to match Maud’s hard stare from earlier, but only managed to look like she’d been hit by a spade as her eyes went a bit cross-eyed. The others tried not to laugh, but for once Maud could see that Daisy heartily agreed.

  Maud couldn’t believe they were on the same side for the first time ever, and just had to let them get on with Maud-bashing, if it helped them bond into some weird kind of friendship group.

  ‘Can I see some of your work, Dot?’ Daisy asked suddenly. Maud realised that Daisy had decided she might as well cash in on Dot being nice for once, as she hadn’t found the courage to ask to see the jewellery before and it had been grating on her nerves and making her grumpy at being left out.

  ‘No,’ said Dot firmly, then saw Maud’s face and tried to soften her tone. ‘I don’t let anyone into my studio.’ When she saw Daisy was about to protest that Maud had seen her work, she played the family card. Maud wished she would stop blaming them for her shortcomings. They weren’t like Maud’s family, who didn’t even give her work a moment’s consideration. Maud thought Dot was selfish about her whole family. They actually tried to see her vision, unlike Maud’s parents, who trashed her dreams even though she did have some talent, as it didn’t fit with their own plans. Dot knew her family would be there for her if she told them she was moving on to becoming an agent for other artists, and would support her in any career she chose. Maud’s mum and dad told her what friends she could have, what to wear, where to work and how to behave. What a mug she was. The fact that Daisy had tried to help Maud for so many years should have made Dot warm to her, but because she hadn’t intervened or stood up for Maud against her parents, Dot was angry instead.

  Dot tried her best to look innocent but it didn’t work. ‘My parents haven’t seen the work yet, as they don’t know I’m trying something new. They’d be devastated if I let anyone see it before them.’ Seeing Daisy about to protest, she ploughed on, laying it on thick. ‘To be honest, Maud, I’ve been a bit stupid about this and felt jealous about your friendship with Daisy.’ She batted her eyelashes at Daisy who visibly softened, much to Maud’s disgust.

  Maud gave Dot a mutinous look and sighed in exasperation, as it now seemed like Dot had decided the best way forward was to get Daisy onside. She continued sweetly, ‘We need to have the element of surprise at the show and, as you’ve been so supportive of Maud and me, how about me keeping back one of the pieces I practiced on, just for you?’

  Maud and Daisy were stunned to silence. ‘Really?’ Daisy gasped. Maud had told her how beautiful Dot’s work was, and Maud knew she’d be thrilled to own a piece, as she could never afford to buy one.

  Maud smiled at her friends, who seemed to have finally broken the ice, however unconventionally, and sent Dot an appreciative air kiss for trying to be more pleasant for once. Her headache was easing off and she decided it was time to break out the wine. ‘Dot’s earlier pieces have such charm, Daisy. You’ll love them. Dot, that’s so kind of you.’

  Dot shook herself out like a proud peacock. ‘I know.’

  Maud grinned, collected three glasses and started pouring, before slowing down on the amount after remembering what happened last time she had shared wine with Dot. The pizza guy, Rob, had tried to ring the doorbell to get back in, and by the night’s end they’d climbed into every last item of clothing in Maud’s wardrobe and Dot had tested her by telling her she wasn’t allowed to pick a single thing off the floor, which would have been excruciating if she hadn’t been so drunk. They’d then found Rob asleep under the heap of clothes, snoring into a second, half-empty pizza box. Maud vaguely recalled him being let in by Dot after his shift at work, and them all getting even drunker by playing a game which involved wearing a pizza slice on their foreheads. It had taken her ages to persuade him to leave, and then to tidy everything away the next day.

  Maud scrunched up her face and tried to think back to remember maybe snogging him, Dot snogging him or worse, but she had little or no recollection of events past two o’clock in the morning at all. She hoped she hadn’t, as although she and Tom weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend yet, they had agreed to tell each other if they wanted to see other people before doing it. Her nether regions were feeling fine and didn’t show signs of energetic frolicking with a naked man, so she had to assume they had stayed platonic. She was going to have to cut back on her wine consumption, before she became a lush or a hussy. She looked at her wine glass and wrinkled her nose. It would be a shame to waste such good grapes though. She’d start the plan tomorrow, as surely one day couldn’t make a difference?

  Envisaging Daisy joining in their party the night before and trying to fit her ample curves into the sparkly collection of clothes hidden in Maud’s wardrobe, made her giggle and spill the wine. Daisy jumped up to help clean the tiny mark on the table, but Maud waved her away, which left the other two girls open-mouthed in surprise. ‘Right, ladies, we have an exhibition to plan, so drink up and let’s get the
party started.’

  Daisy and Dot stood up and clinked glasses with Maud and, after taking a sip of the deliciously cool wine, they grabbed bowls and handbags and congregated around the central island in the kitchen where Dot had laid out some provisional plans for, hopefully, the most exciting night of Maud’s life.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Maud’s mood lifted over the next few weeks, as at last Dot and Daisy had called a truce and were getting along. Daisy wasn’t interfering so much and had gone back to spending practically every waking moment outside of work with Ryan. Maud thought she looked at bit ill, but she’d assured Maud that she was fine and just felt she’d been neglecting her boyfriend and wanted to make it up to him, so Maud had let the subject drop.

  Maud had found it a struggle to keep dealing with the smiles, tears and tantrums of the children at school when her mind was clearly elsewhere, but she’d tried her best to be professional and not shout from the rooftops that she was an artist now and needed to be in her studio painting. She was far from being a diva, but for once she wished she had some of the bravado that came with the job. She craved the solitude of the artistic space in her garden, where no one bothered her. Dot had been confined to the house, as she kept disturbing Maud’s concentration with her pacing. Maud enjoyed the bustling environment of the school, but understood now that she had used it as a buffer against the outside world. She’d cocooned herself inside, with the gentle people and gregarious children, and had been content to coast along on the shirttails of her oldest friend.

  Pausing to look up at the façade of the building she had arrived outside, Maud remembered how nervous she’d felt the first time she’d walked up this street. The gallery looked so different in daylight. It welcomed you inside with wooden sliding doors, currently open, and a metal post and rail with printed fabric in between depicting the work of the family of artists housed inside. Maud thought how fabulous the fabric would look on a dress, and drooled at the prospect of having one to add to her collection. She fleetingly wondered if Dot would kill her if she snaffled the length of fabric nearest the door and had it made into a handbag, or something? Maybe that was a future product collaboration she could suggest to her dotty friend.

  Stepping inside and gazing in awe at the splendour of the current exhibition of paintings, a selection of Dot’s cousin’s work, she stopped and examined the nearest one in detail. She smiled first at the smartly-dressed young man who was sitting at a metal reception desk, which seemed to have been hammered to within an inch of its life, but looked so textural and interesting. Maud recalled the table had been covered in crisp white linen and lined with rows of champagne bottles and glasses at Nate’s show. If she’d seen it like this that night, she would certainly have wanted to take a closer look, or run her hand along the surface at the very least. She wondered if all artists were like her? She couldn’t pass something textural or interesting without wanting to take a closer look.

  Maud’s fingers also yearned to touch the art on walls and she felt incredibly inadequate, thinking of her own work next to Dot’s family’s masterpieces. She knew that Dot was desperate to make her own statement, but was Maud making a mistake getting involved in family issues? It could destroy her own family, if they found out what she was up to. What if Dot was wrong and her work was useless?

  Waving to the young man, she saw him acknowledge she was there, but he indicated that he was on the phone. She smiled, showing she was just browsing, and he bent his head and returned to his call. Dot was supposed to be meeting her there at ten as it was Maud’s day off, but Maud wanted to be greedy and look at the art before Dot realised she was there. Dot got to stare at this any time she pleased, and Maud guessed she could too, now, but she felt so privileged to be able to get close to the work. There were only four or five people milling around the gallery, so she decided to savour the peace and quiet before Dot crashed in and took over. Maud wondered if Dot had changed her way of dressing yet, and was apprehensive to see which way she would go. Dot might not realise it, but Maud suspected she was a closet magpie too.

  Feeling warm breath on her shoulder, she turned and looked up into Nate’s smiling eyes. She jumped and took a step back, as he was invading her personal space. Maud knew his flat was above the gallery, so she shouldn’t have been surprised to see him. Why the hell hadn’t she thought that he might be here? As she recoiled, she tripped on her own feet again. She’d been standing with her legs crossed, a terrible habit, she realised. Nate reached out as if he’d been expecting her to fall at his feet, and placed warm hands around her waist. She was gratified to see that his hands fitted perfectly – her love handles of fat had disappeared. He frowned before pretending to chastise her. ‘You’ve lost weight. Why?’

  With surprise, she noticed he kept his hand on her waist in a familiar way, but for once she didn’t blush and make a fool of herself in his presence. ‘Working too hard to eat, I guess,’ she said simply, making him look upset, while a deeper frown creased his brow.

  Maud had avoided Nate at Dot’s studio, as being near him scared her a little. Dot had been so scathing about his prowess with women and Maud wanted to give her fledgling relationship with Tom a chance. Things had definitely been hotting up, as Tom tried to touch her at every opportunity after the school bell had rung, when the class was empty, which she sometimes found embarrassing if a parent passed by the window. She had enough to deal with, with the nervous exhaustion of keeping everything a secret, which was becoming more difficult now that everyone seemed to be looking for her. Leaving artworks around was so cloak and dagger, she’d started dressing in black and trying to make herself even more forgettable when she made drops in the parks. No one would think a normal girl like her could be the one in the news. They would be looking for someone like Nate or Dot to appear.

  Knowing Dot better now, Maud wondered if her animosity towards Nate was just familial jealousy, as she slated him at every opportunity. Maud couldn’t shake off the hurt from her last boyfriend seducing someone from a neighbouring village behind her back, so she was wary of Nate’s attention. Dot had told Maud over several glasses of wine, that Nate was her parents’ favourite and he could do no wrong in their eyes. Maud had seen the way they idolised both of their children, though, and didn’t think this was a fair assumption. It was probably just Dot being grumpy.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nate was staring at her with a wide grin on his face, and his hand was still resting gently on her waist as he turned her towards Dot’s office at the back of the gallery.

  ‘You know I’m here to meet Dot?’

  ‘She told me. Unfortunately, though, she’s just been urgently called to see our parents, as they feel she’s been neglecting them of late for some reason.’ Nate conveniently forgot to tell Maud that he’d phoned and told his parents that Dot was disregarding them as soon as she’d mentioned that Maud was meeting her today. As he’d predicted, their parents had been aghast and decided he was right and that Dot should come and see them immediately. He didn’t usually play hardball, but Maud had been to see Dot loads of times and she’d managed to avoid him somehow, he could feel it. He wanted them to be friends at least, as his nerves were both soothed and riled up when she was around, after the turbulent years where Lena had dominated his life, and the barren times in between when he hadn’t let himself feel a single good emotion for anyone. Maud didn’t fawn all over him but blushed anytime he got near and, even though he knew there was a spark between them somewhere, she valiantly battled it. He understood that she had a boyfriend, but he hated the guy. No one was good enough for any of his sister’s friends, but Maud was even more special and he had no idea why he felt this way. He’d had to use guile to keep her away from Tom and he’d never done anything like this in his life. He’d made Dot keep Maud busy by giving her underhand tasks that were irrelevant. He was being domineering; a trait he deplored, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Maud, and he intended to have her.

  He wasn’t sure what
it was about Tom, but Nate didn’t like the way his eyes had darted around the room at dinner the first night they had met, and the way his arm had been casually slung around the shoulders of Nate’s own date, when Dot and Maud had gone to the powder room.

  Maud faltered for a second, and he jolted out of his reverie as she spoke. ‘Oh... right. I’d better get back to my own work then, I suppose.’

  ‘I thought you had a day off? Dot said you’d kept the day clear for her? She asked me to take you to lunch as an apology for messing you around.’

  Maud looked aghast. ‘You don’t have to do that! It’s a treat to come here and look at the art.’

  ‘How about your own work? I saw your competition entry, and it was lovely.’ Nate pushed open the office door and guided Maud to Dot’s chair, while he picked up the phone and made a reservation at a restaurant along the road. He glanced at Maud’s feet and was disappointed to see she was wearing simple flat shoes, although he had noticed her formal look had gone and she was softening the edges and adding colour. Today she was wearing a delicate almost-blue top, which hugged her shoulders and spread wide across her chest. The sleeves had little ties at the wrists and she wore several loose chains around her neck with charms hanging from them. Moulding her hips were fitted jeans that were turned up to reveal her ankles. Although she had lost weight, she still had curves at her hips and bust, and he wanted to bite into her soft shoulder and lock her in his sister’s office and bury the key. Then he’d gently spank her for not eating properly and feed her strawberries covered in chocolate... Man, he was losing it!