John smiled like he was humouring him. “Why don’t you get yourself some breakfast?”
“I’m not hungry.” He knew he sounded like a petulant teenager, but he couldn’t stop himself.
“How about doing some more work on the new tracks then? It’ll take your mind off things.”
That wasn’t such a bad idea. He’d noodle on the guitar and try to figure out what to do next. There was no way he’d let John find a replacement for Angie. She’d helped him. He needed her.
And the kiss? Well, that hadn’t even happened, had it? They’d just got caught up in the moment. It was only to be expected when they spent so much time together.
He’d find a way for her to come back and they’d forget all about it.
***
Three weeks later and Angelique had just about stopped beating herself up over the fiasco with Noah Trent. As long as she didn’t think about lawyers or custody hearings, she could almost bear to look at herself in the mirror.
She’d been lucky really – John had made The Cloister sign an agreement to take her back when her stint with Noah was over, so at least she had a job to go back to.
It wasn’t much of a consolation when she thought about the money she’d lost out on and what it could have done for her. Which is why she did her best not to think about those things.
Slipping back into her old routine proved frighteningly easy. After the first few days, it was like she’d never been away. She went through the motions on autopilot. Every day at work was the same.
Until the day she got a message that someone was asking for her on the phone.
She had no idea who it could be – no one ever called her at The Cloister. And then she started to worry. It was bound to be bad news. There was no other reason for anyone to phone her. Please don’t let it be Lewis.
There was only one telephone in the place – in the manager’s office. She made her way through the corridors and knocked on the door. Andy called her in and nodded to the phone.
Taking the call off hold, she put the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hello, Angelique. It’s John.”
“John?” She glanced at Andy, he was busy on his computer.
“Yes, John Lawson. Noah Trent’s manager.”
She froze. What was he going to accuse her of now? Unless she was wrong and something had happened to Noah. “What is it? What’s happened?”
“Nothing to be alarmed about. I’d like to offer you your job back.”
She stood in silence, staring off into space. That couldn’t be right. She must have misheard. “My job back?”
“Yes, if you’re willing to take it.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“Noah’s off on tour soon and we thought you’d be the best person to go along with him.” He oozed oily diplomacy down the line. Something didn’t smell right.
“Is he there?”
He paused. “Not at the moment I’m afraid. He’s busy in rehearsals.”
That did sound plausible. After her initial disappointment, she found she was relieved she didn’t have to talk to him. She’d run off without saying goodbye – without saying anything. It would be too awkward to have to explain herself to him. “I’m sorry, John, I can’t take the job. I’m settled where I am.” She hung up the phone before he tried to talk her into it. There was no point looking back.
But the money...
She pushed the thought aside. All the money in the world wouldn’t be enough to argue away what she’d done. She’d let her son down – got drunk day after day when he’d needed her to look after him. She didn’t deserve to get him back.
Straightening her uniform, she went back out to do her penance.
***
“She said no?”
John nodded. “She said she couldn’t take the job and hung up on me.”
Noah couldn’t believe it. After all those weeks showing John he could be trusted and begging him to get her back, she’d turned around and said no. “It must have been the way you asked her. What did you say?”
“Nothing. I asked her if she wanted her job back and she said no.”
It hadn’t even crossed his mind that she might not want to come back. “But what about her son?”
“What?”
“Nothing.” He hadn’t shared that information with him. It felt like betraying her to say anything to John. “What am I going to do now?”
“Go on tour and make shedloads of money.” This all suited John perfectly – he’d made it clear he still thought Noah was thinking with his trousers.
He shook his head. “I’m not ready.”
“Course you are. You’ve managed without her up until now.”
“No. I’m not.” The only thing that had got him this far was the idea that she’d come on tour with him and keep him steady. What would happen when the first gig was over and someone brought out a celebratory bottle? John said they’d make it a dry tour – no drink or drugs for anyone involved – but how the hell was that going to work?
“I need to talk to her.”
“Here.” John held out the phone. “It’s the last number I dialled.”
“No.” Noah got up. “In person.”
“You’re kidding me, right? There’s no time. You said you wanted to oversee the digital release of the album and you’ve still got to pack for the tour. You’ve got rehearsal time booked in the studio with the band.”
“I’ll be back for rehearsals.” He went to the door. “You deal with the other stuff.”
“Noah!”
He slipped out of the front door before John came up with another five reasons why he couldn’t go.
CHAPTER 8
Angelique reached the bottom of the drive, waved her fob at the Cloister gates and stepped out onto the street. The weather was good enough for her to forget the bus and walk home. Rooting around in her bag for her cigarettes, she turned the corner without looking.
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
She almost walked straight into Noah. He moved neatly out of the way.
After stopping for a moment, she marched past him.
“Hey!” He jogged to catch up with her and they walked together for a while.
Eventually, she couldn’t take the silence any more. “I already told John I’m not coming.”
“Why?” He came to a stop and she did too. “Why won’t you come? I need you.”
She looked into his big, brown eyes. It had been so much easier to turn John down over the phone. “You seem fine to me. I can tell you’re clean.” He’d even put a little weight on. Not too much. Just enough to make him fill out his t-shirt in a way that he hadn’t before.
“Tour’s different.” His easy manner slipped and she saw how worried he was.
“I’m sure your new assistant will look after you.” Her mind skimmed over the idea of someone else in her place, sleeping in the room next door to his, sitting across from him at the dinner table. After what had almost happened in the garden that night, John was bound to have hired a man, but in her imagination it was always a woman.
“There is no new assistant. I didn’t want anyone else.” He looked away, his silence leaving so much unsaid. “Please, Angie. You know what it’s like.”
“Which is why I can’t get mixed up in something like that. You’re nervous about going on tour – how do you think it would be for me?” Ten times worse – at least he was a part of that world. She had no experience of touring with a band. She’d be on the back foot right from the start.
“Please. Hear me out. Let me buy you a coffee.”
She wanted to. That’s why she didn’t say no straight away. Her hesitation brought a smile to his lips.
“Come on. My car’s round the corner.” He took off with that boyish exuberance she remembered.
One coffee. And then she’d politely turn him down and go on with her life.
***
Noah had no idea where to go for coffee, but Angie sai
d she knew a place not too far away so he followed her directions and found a parking spot across the road.
It was a bit twee for his liking – more afternoon tea than skinny latte – but they hadn’t gone there for the ambience. He had to find a way to make her come on tour with him. It wasn’t until he set eyes on her again that he realised how much he’d missed her. Whether she felt the same or not, he considered her a friend. And he had too few of those left to lose her too.
He ordered the coffees and a matronly woman in glasses brought them over. “So, you didn’t have any trouble with The Cloister taking you back?”
“No. I think they see me as a marketing gimmick now – ‘Noah Trent’s personal assistant’.”
“And you’re happy there?”
She nodded. “I like the work.”
Leaning over the table, he raised his eyebrows. “And you get to meet interesting people.”
She gave him the kind of smile he used to get from aunties when he was a little boy.
“But you can’t be earning enough to take your ex back to court.”
Her smile vanished. She took her mug in her hands, turning it on the table top.
“Isn’t that enough reason to come back?”
She said nothing, retreating further inside herself.
“Angie?”
She kissed her teeth at him. “I hate it when people call me that.”
“I’m sorry.” He’d got so used to calling her Angie, he’d pretty much forgotten why he’d started doing it. “Don’t you want to see your son? Have him spend time with you?”
“He’s better off without me.” She ran a finger up and down the outside of the mug, refusing to meet his eye.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. I was being selfish. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”
“Jesus, Angie-Angelique. You’re just scared.”
She finally looked up at him. “So what if I am? I’ve missed out on over two years of his life. He’ll be a different person now.”
“So get to know him. You’re his mother.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
He reached across the table for her hand, but didn’t take it. “Can I?”
When she looked at him, her eyes were bright with tears that she blinked away. She nodded and he took hold of her. Despite the heat from her coffee, the backs of her fingers were cool. He held her hand lightly, not wanting to push his luck.
“You want to see him, don’t you?”
Clamping her lips in a tight line, she nodded.
“Then let me help you. You’ve helped me. Let me do the same.”
“What if he hates me?”
He ran his thumb over the back of her hand. What must it be like to spend two years without your child? To know that he’s out there growing up without you when he used to be a part of your flesh? “He doesn’t hate you. You’re his mum.”
“But Wesley must have told him all sorts of awful things about me.”
“Where do they live?”
“About twenty minutes from here.”
He got his phone out and looked at the time. Twenty minutes there, twenty minutes back. Who knew how long to talk things through. They wouldn’t be done in time for rehearsals.
But this was more important. He switched off his phone. John was bound to call when he didn’t show up. “Do you know the postcode? For the Satnav.”
“No. But I know how to get there.”
He got up and beckoned for her to do the same. “You can direct me then.”
“No. We can’t go over there.”
“Why not? You’re dry. You’ve got a responsible job. You lead a respectable life and you want to see your son. Let’s go and talk to your ex. The worst that can happen is he tells us to go away.”
Her eyes darted over his face, searching for answers he wasn’t sure he had. “Okay.”
He nodded. “Okay.” He’d come looking for her to change her mind about the tour, but now he found he wasn’t so concerned about that any more. She needed to do what was right for her. If that meant staying put at The Cloister, then he’d just have to manage on his own.
***
Noah tried to make conversation on the way over to Wesley’s, but Angelique felt too sick to speak. Could she really be about to see her baby boy after so long? It seemed like too much to hope for.
And then they were there – deep in the heart of suburbia, surrounded by privet hedges and well-oiled gates. Wesley’s house hadn’t changed since she’d last been there. It may have had a few new layers of paint over the past two years, but it still had the same dark blue front door and the same lace curtains in the windows.
She paused outside on the pavement. Would Wesley have a woman living there now? A step-mother to help him push out all the memories of her Lewis had left?
“Are you ready?” Noah stood behind her, not quite close enough to make her nervous.
It felt good to have him with her. She wouldn’t have dared to come on her own. “Not really.” Pushing open the gate, she held her breath as she walked the short distance to the door. Perhaps she should have called first. His number was still there in her phone. Unless he’d changed it.
She took hold of the knocker and banged hard against the wood. The noise echoed inside the house, but there were no other sounds of movement. There was no one home. She didn’t know whether she was relieved or disappointed.
But then she heard a distant door thump closed and muffled footsteps heading towards them. Her heart beat so hard it hurt her chest. The door swung open and there was Wes. He was a little rounder in the face, and his hair had more grey in it, but he looked essentially the same.
His eyes widened when he saw her. He took a step back, his lips opening just a touch. Then he set his mouth in a tight line and drew his brows into a frown. He didn’t need to say anything – his expression asked the question all by itself.
“Hello Wesley. I wanted to talk to you about Lewis.”
He looked her up and down, then turned his attention to Noah. Disapproval lifted the corner of his mouth in a sneer that passed as quickly as it came. “He’s not here.”
She didn’t know why, but she felt in her heart he was lying. “That’s okay. I just want to talk.” Inside, she was screaming. Inside, she was tearing herself apart with the effort it took not to run into the house and shout out her baby’s name. But she had to do things on Wesley’s terms.
“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Noah asked.
“Who’s this?”
“He’s a friend. Noah Trent. Noah, this is Wesley.”
Neither of them made any attempt to shake hands.
“Lewis isn’t here. You don’t have any right to see him anyway.”
“That’s why I’m here. I haven’t touched a drink in two years, Wes. I’ve got a good job. I want to see him.”
“Out of the question.”
“Please. Doesn’t he ever ask about me?” She’d promised herself she wouldn’t let him get to her, but the more time she spent on his doorstep, the smaller she felt.
“You need to leave now.”
Noah stepped up from behind her and put his foot in the door just before Wesley moved to close it. “She made a mistake. She knows that. She just wants to see her kid.”
Wesley bunched his hands into fists and made a very visible effort not to lose his temper. “Move your foot.”
Noah tensed beside her. She put a hand on his arm, willing him not to start any trouble. Wes didn’t need much of an excuse to lose his temper.
“Your son deserves to see his mother.”
Wesley’s face clouded over. “Get your foot out of my doorway.”
Noah looked over at Angelique. She shook her head and he moved his foot out of the way.
Wesley shut the door hard enough to rattle the knocker.
“Don’t worry.” He moved to put his arm around her. She flinched and hated herself for it when he backed away. “We’ll sort it. You
’ll see him.”
“I’ll go on tour with you.” She blurted out the words, afraid that she’d lose her nerve.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ll go.” She wasn’t sure if The Cloister would hold her job open a second time, but she had to do whatever was necessary to see Lewis again. She couldn’t give up. Not after getting so close. He was in that house. She could feel him.
Noah headed back to the car. After one last look behind her, she went too. She could feel eyes watching her. But was it Wesley looking out from behind the curtains, or someone else?
CHAPTER 9
The next couple of days sped by and then it was time to get on the tour bus. The budget was tighter than it had been on previous tours, but Noah was still looking forward to the look on Angie’s face when she saw their new home – he’d been teasing her, telling her they were going on a reconditioned red London bus. She definitely hadn’t believed him to start with, but by the time he started talking about the alterations for the shower cubicle, she wasn’t sure what to think.
“I’ll take that.” He snatched her case out of her hand and immediately sagged under its weight. “Bloody hell, what did you pack?”
“It’s not that heavy. It must be the books.”
“Am I that boring you need to bring half a library with you?” He stopped himself giving her a friendly nudge. She was nowhere near as jumpy any more, but she still preferred it if he didn’t touch her. If he could only get her to open up about it...
“You’re the one who said there’d be lots of waiting around. You’ll be too busy to talk to me most of the time.”
And boredom was a very bad thing for recovering alcoholics. “Oh well, it’s good exercise for me.” He strode out in front of her to open the door and watched her face break into a smile when she saw the two-storey coach waiting for them.
“I knew you were making it up about the red bus.”
“No you didn’t.” They walked out into the front garden.
She stared and stared at the coach. “It’s massive.”
“It’ll have to be. We’re sharing the bottom with John and a couple of roadies, the band and the other roadies get the top. Do you want the tour?”
She nodded, her smile growing even wider. He led her inside, stowing her bag near the front. “That’s John’s bed.” He pointed to a panel behind the driver’s seat.
Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune Page 6