Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune

by Neneh J. Gordon

  The way ahead opened out onto a road and they crossed over.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I booked us a room.” He led her along the pavement and through a gate.

  She was supposed to mind. She knew she should complain that he was being presumptuous. But she didn’t care. She wanted him to take her to that room and lay her down for the night.

  Twilight had fallen, blanketing the houses with a touch of magic. Hand in hand, they walked up the path to a cottage with a thatched roof and roses in the front garden. It looked too perfect to be real.

  The woman who opened the door was about their age. She signed them in before taking them up to the room. It was just as well Noah dealt with everything – she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to speak.

  And then they were alone in the bedroom together.

  He took the bag of food from her hand and put it on the dressing table next to his. It was dark outside now and he closed the curtains. He kicked off his boots and walked back to her side of the bed.

  They stared at each other, both of them nervous, both of them unsure.

  Were they on the verge of an enormous mistake?

  “Hey.” He took her hand and it felt fine. It felt better than fine.

  What was he waiting for? And then she realised. He was giving her the chance to change her mind.

  He came a little closer and she brushed his hair back over his shoulders, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. She’d missed that smell. It was a good job she didn’t know what brand he used – she probably would have sunk to keeping a bottle in her bathroom so she could sniff it.

  He held her lightly at the waist.

  “I won’t break,” she told him.

  He kissed her then and her eyes rolled shut. She threw her arms around him and kissed him back. Her softness yielded to his hard body. He was so tall. She’d never been with a man in such good shape. It made her worry what he would think of her body.

  When he slid his hands under the hem of her blouse, worry turned to panic. “Can we turn the light off?”

  He sat down on the bed and drew her down to sit beside him. “If you want to. But I’d like to see you.”

  Maybe he thought he did, but he’d soon change his mind when he caught sight of her stretch-marks and sagging tummy. “It... It feels weird with the light on.”

  He went to the door and turned off the light. He came back to the bed slowly, feeling his way in the dark.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as he stroked her cheek.

  “You’re beautiful, Angie. You don’t have to hide.”

  She wished it was true. “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.” Now the moment had arrived, she found herself fighting the urge to leave.

  He kissed her temple and put his lips close to her ear. “Nor have I.” Pulling her down onto the bed, he kissed her till her fears receded.

  They lay face to face, his hand went back to the gap between her blouse and skirt. She held her stomach in as he stroked her skin, but then his kisses grew more intense and she lost control.

  She swooned in his arms, loving every touch of his lips and his fingers. Desire overcame her. She moaned into his mouth and grabbed at his t-shirt, twisting it in her fists.

  She wanted him naked. She wanted to feel his flesh and hair beneath her hands. Part of her wished he’d ignored her and left the light on – she wanted to see his body. His chest felt firm and muscular, but she’d never seen it.

  The fog of lust lifted long enough for her to tug his t-shirt upwards. He got the message and rolled away from her to pull it off. Then his hands were at her waistline, lifting her blouse up and away from her body. She sat up and raised her arms so he could take it off.

  Her eyes had grown used to the dark. She could make out his features and the sprinkling of hair on his chest. How much of her could he see? She tried not to think about it and leaned in for another of those delicious kisses. Her mind wandered to the guys back at the bus, but then Noah’s hands were on her back and she couldn’t think of anything but him.

  He pulled her close, his tongue playing over hers. She ran her fingers over his shoulders and down his back, reaching in between their bodies to stroke the backs of her hands over his flat stomach.

  He kissed his way across her cheek and down to her throat, making her gasp. “I love your body,” she told him while she still had the ability to speak. But in her head, she cropped the sentence short. I love you. The three words she couldn’t say.

  “I love yours. You’re so soft and juicy.”

  He meant fat, but it was nice of him to frame it the way he did. Wesley had never bothered trying to sugar-coat it.

  Kneeling up on the bed, he kissed her down onto her back and straddled her. His hands ran all the way around her waistband, searching for a way in. He found the zip at the side and pulled it down, slipping her skirt over her hips and thighs, kissing the flesh he exposed as he went.

  She trembled all over, excited and apprehensive all at the same time. With her skirt gone, he stood up to remove his own clothes. And then he was on top of her, his erection crushed between them. This was so much more than a kiss or a caress. Her pulse raced. She fought to keep her breathing steady but it felt as if her lungs were empty.

  Noah rolled over to the side. “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No. No, please don’t.” She rolled towards him and put his hand on her waist. Bringing her lips to his, she forced the anxiety down and smothered it with kisses. She wanted him and she wasn’t going to let her history get in the way.

  He kissed her tenderly, easing off on the heat for a few moments. She knew he was trying not to overwhelm her, but the fact that he had to think about it was like a third person in the room. They were in bed together with barely any clothes between them – he shouldn’t have to worry about taking things slowly.

  She broke off the kiss.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Why are you here, with me? You could have your pick of women. There were plenty at the gig tonight who would have jumped at the chance.” She sat up. Why was she so intent on ruining this? Because he deserved someone normal. Someone without all her baggage.

  He reached for her hand and she let him take it.

  “Angie, you know how I feel about you.”

  “No I don’t. You’ve never said anything to me.”

  “I want you. Not some silly girl in the audience. I want the woman who knows me better than anyone else.”

  “Why? Why do you want me? I’m an alcoholic—”

  “I’m an alcoholic.”

  “Yeah, but look at you. You’re a fucking rock god and I’m just...” She didn’t even know how to finish that sentence.

  He tried to draw her towards him, but she refused to move.

  “Come here.”

  There was only so long she could fight him. She let him pull her down to lie beside him. He rolled her onto her side and snuggled up behind her. All the reasons why this was a bad idea were dwarfed by the feel of his body tucked in close to hers.

  He kissed her shoulder. “I’m not going to pry into what’s happened to you in the past, but you’ve been through some bad shit, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll still be here.” He tightened his hold on her and she put her hands over his.

  “I wish you knew how beautiful you were.”

  Hearing him say that brought tears to her eyes. If only it were true.

  “I missed you so much when you left. I don’t want to ruin things between us. If you don’t want us to be more than friends—”

  “I do. But...” But I don’t understand why you do.

  “Angie. I want us to be together. You set the pace. I’m not going to rush you into anything.”

  They lay in the dark for a while. She rehearsed all the things she wanted to say in her head, but she couldn’t make herself tell him any of them. Perhaps words weren’t the answer.

  He w
anted her. She hadn’t quite got used to the idea, but it was clearly the truth. And she wanted him.

  So what was she waiting for?

  Rolling over to face him, she reached behind herself and unfastened her bra. She took it off and threw it on the floor. She wriggled in closer to him and met his eye before she took a kiss. It felt good with him.

  The kiss deepened along with their breathing and his hands went to her ass, pulling her in to press against his stiffening manhood. He pulled down her panties and her own moisture smeared her thighs.

  “I wanted to make this last,” he gasped. “But I think I’ll explode if I don’t get inside you.” He pushed her over onto her back, spreading her legs with his knees as he ripped open a condom and slid it down over his length.

  Their eyes met for an instant, and then he was plunging deep inside her. They both cried out. She took hold of his waist, urging him further in. She wanted to feel every inch of him. To hold every moment of their time together firmly in her mind.

  Leaning down, he took her breast in his mouth and thrust hard into her. Her legs fell wider apart and she drank in every sensation – the tickle of his hair on her chest, the clench of his muscles under her hands, the friction as he pulled in and out of her.

  He built up speed, ramming her harder and harder until their voices rose together. Reaching for her hands, he twined his fingers with hers and thrust her up the bed. Her head reached the wall, but she didn’t want him to stop. His member filled her up, fuelling a glorious tension deep within her. She raised her hips with each stroke, bumping her clit into his pelvis, taking step after step towards her climax.

  His movements grew more frantic and he let her nipple fall from his mouth, concentrating everything he had on the point where their bodies locked together. She’d forgotten that feeling of complete release. She gave herself up to him and let the moment sweep over her. And then she was racing up into the heights of orgasm, her body convulsing around him, her hands clasping him tight.

  She shook with pleasure, holding him loosely as he carried on in search of his own peak. Sweat sprang up on her skin. She watched his face as he pounded into her. His eyes were closed, his focus turned inward. She stroked her hands over his buttocks, claiming ownership of him as he went rigid and came with a stifled gasp.

  He stopped breathing, holding himself over her as he came. His eyes opened and found hers. Then he smiled and she smiled right back. He rolled off her and raised her hand to his lips. “I’m sorry it was over so fast,” he said. “You were just too sexy.”

  She wasn’t sure what to think at first, but she returned his grin. His body couldn’t lie.

  ***

  The morning light shone through the flimsy curtains and pushed Noah into wakefulness. He lay there with his eyes closed, gathering himself for the day to come. And then he remembered who was lying beside him.

  Opening his eyes, he turned to face her with a smile. She was sleeping peacefully. Some people looked stern when they were asleep – their natural expression had a formal quality that you wouldn’t expect. Angie wasn’t one of those people. He knew it was corny, but her name fit her perfectly – she looked like an angel at rest.

  He looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was a lot earlier than he would have liked. But that was probably a good thing considering the bus was leaving at nine. John was going to rib him all day about this. He’d spent so long trying to convince him nothing was going on and now everyone would know they’d spent the night together.

  Really, he should wake her up and maybe think about going down for breakfast. He propped himself up on his elbow. She looked so relaxed. He didn’t want to interrupt her sleep quite yet.

  He didn’t know how much time passed, but as he lay there watching her, she slowly opened her eyes and brought up her hand to cover a yawn.

  “Good morning.” He kissed her gently, but it was enough to push all thoughts of food from his mind.

  “Good morning.” Her voice was low and husky. She pulled the sheet up to cover her cleavage.

  He thought of the way she’d asked him to turn off the light. One day, he’d make her see that she had nothing to be self-conscious about.

  “What time is it?”

  He glanced at the clock. “About ten past seven.” His gaze went to her gorgeous lips. She seemed to pout without even trying. He could spend all day looking at her mouth. And kissing it, of course.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I just like looking at you.”

  She fussed with her hair and tugged at the sheet again.

  He couldn’t stand it. Why couldn’t she take his word for it? She was sexy as hell. Caution told him not to, but he took hold of the bedclothes and tore them away from her.

  “Noah!” Instantly, one arm went up to cover herself and the other reached out for the covers.

  “Let me see you.” Later, he found it hard to believe he’d done it, but in the heat of the moment he grabbed both her wrists and kneeled over her, pinning her to the bed.

  As much as he wanted to, he didn’t look at her body. He looked her in the eye and waited for her to understand that he wasn’t going to hurt her. For a second or two, real fright flickered across her face and he wondered if he’d gone too far. But gradually, she relaxed beneath him and returned his gaze.

  “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.” He spoke softly, trying to soothe her. “You’re beautiful, Angie.”

  She shook her head.

  He let go of her and she brought her hands up across her chest.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes,” she said in a very small voice.

  He held out his hand. She looked at it first, then let go of herself and took it.

  He led her off the bed and over to the dressing table. The mirror cut them both off at the shoulders, but it was her body he wanted her to look at.

  Pulling her in front of himself, he saw that she was looking away. He kissed her shoulder, her neck, the patch of skin beside her ear. “Look in the mirror.”

  She did as he asked.

  “What do you see?”

  There was a drawn-out pause as she stared at herself in the glass.

  He put his hands on the gentle curve of her belly.

  “Don’t.”

  “You’re soft and feminine. You carried a baby in there for nine months. It’s not supposed to be flat.”

  He got down on his knees and moved to kneel beside her. “I love your belly. He laid a kiss on the flesh beneath her navel. He could smell the faint perfume of her soap and the wild musk of her sex. “You should love it too.” He placed a second kiss below the first. Then another, and another.

  Moving ever lower, he held her by the waist and kissed his way through her pubic hair, breathing in the very essence of her.

  When his lips pressed against the tender bud of her clitoris, she dug her fingers into his shoulders.

  He gave her a taste of what was to come, then kissed a trail back up over her mound. He continued his course all the way up to her breasts, taking them in his hands as he got up off his knees. “Do you like your breasts?”

  She stared into his eyes. It encouraged him that she didn’t say no, but she didn’t say yes either.

  “I love your breasts.” Bringing them together, he kissed each nipple and pressed his lips to the cleavage he’d created.

  Her breathing was loud and laboured. He let go of her to take her hand. “You can feel how much I love your body.” He put her hand between his legs, covering his shaft with her palm.

  He watched her eyes grow heavy with need. “Can you feel that?”

  She nodded, her wonderful breasts rising and falling with the effort it took to draw in breath. As he let go of her hand, she wrapped her fingers around him and squeezed. He closed his eyes, just for a moment. She felt so good. But this time, he was going to make it last.

  Reaching behind her, he swept her off her feet and up into his arms. “You don’t know how much I want you.
” He laid her down on the bed and let his eyes drink her in. He was pleased she made no move to cover herself. Perhaps he was getting through to her.

  He climbed onto the foot of the bed, kneeling beside her ankles. The time they had left before they’d have to leave was nowhere near enough. He wanted to spend the whole day like this – exploring her, pleasing her, building on the closeness they shared.

  Lifting her foot off the bed, he brought it to his lips and kissed her toe. Then he kissed her instep, her ankle, her calf. He kissed a path up her leg, the heady scent of her excitement growing stronger all the time. When he climbed between her legs, her breathing quickened and she chewed on her bottom lip.

  The slick opening to her core glistened with juice and spurred him on to what he considered the most intimate act. He spread her outer lips with his thumbs. She jumped when he touched her there and he pressed harder, applying enough pressure to make her wriggle.

  Finally, he lowered his mouth to her sex, licking his way through the coating of natural lubricant and finding her most sensitive spot. She was hot and wet, more than ready for his touch. He flicked the tip of his tongue over her clit. She grabbed hold of his wrists, but didn’t pull him away. Then she began to moan and it made him even harder.

  But this was about her, not him. Moving in ever-widening circles, he teased her with his mouth, darting over the entrance to her core without ever quite making it inside.

  He held her down by the hips, fighting her body’s instinct to buck him off. Her legs quivered on either side of him, her feet slipping over the bedclothes.

  As her movements grew more frenzied, he plunged his tongue into her very centre and pinched her clit between finger and thumb. She let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a scream. He pinched harder, forcing his tongue as deep as it would go, curling it in search of her g-spot. Then he swapped, sucking on her clit and sliding two fingers inside her. He tickled her with the tips of his fingers, finding the bundle of nerve-endings that would take her over the edge.

  Working on her with his lips, his teeth, his tongue, his hands, he felt her kick against the mattress. She was close. He could tell by the abundance of moisture that flowed from between her legs and the way that she arched her back up off the bed. More than anything, he wanted to watch her come. He wanted to look into her eyes and know that he was the one who’d taken her to a place where her mind gave up control and let her body take over.