Assisted Murder (A Moose River Mystery Book 6)

by Jeff Shelby

  “I'm going to sue you!” Vivian yelled. “For assault!”

  “You do that!” Gloria yelled back. “You just try it!”

  “I will!”

  Gloria's up-do had been the result of a hair extension, which she now was clutching in her hand and shaking in Vivian's direction. “I dare you!”

  It was like how our girls argue, except these women were half a century older and couldn’t be sent to their rooms for misbehaving.

  “What in the heck is going on here?” a voice said behind me.

  I turned around.

  Detective Grimmis was standing in front of the crowd, his creepy mustache twitching. And he was flanked by two uniformed police officers.

  THIRTY FOUR

  Detective Grimmis motioned to the two officers and they stepped around me, toward Gloria and Vivian. Jake and Irv released the two women and an officer moved in behind each one, and I wondered if they were going to arrest them for disorderly conduct.

  “This is unbelievable,” Grandma Billie said, still hugging her key.

  She'd somehow managed to wheel herself through the crowd so she had a front row seat for the chaos.

  The detective looked back and forth between the two women. “What exactly is going on here?”

  Garrett stared at his mother. “That's a great question.”

  Vivian ran a hand through her fake hair, but didn't say anything.

  “It was...just a misunderstanding,” Gloria said, her eyes still shooting lasers at Vivian. She pasted on a bright smile. “Just some confusion. We are fine.”

  “Well, it doesn't look so fine to me,” Grimmis said, frowning.

  “I want to press charges,” Vivian said suddenly.

  A collective gasp went up from the crowd. Will had moved from his position by the stage and was now standing directly opposite of me, his phone still poised in the air. I felt the urge to rip it out of his hands.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” Grandma Billie muttered.

  Vivian lifted her chin in the air. “She assaulted me. I want to press charges.”

  “Hey, Felix,” Grandma Billie barked.

  Detective Grimmis turned in her direction and his expression softened just a bit. “Yes, Ms. Gardner?”

  “This is my damn birthday party,” she said. “If Vivian and her fake hair want to press big fake charges, can it wait until the party's over? I'll have my grandson get you a beer and you can hang out until the end. Then if Vivian still has her panties in a bunch, you can do whatever you need to do.”

  Vivian's face went red and I fully expected steam to pour out of her ears.

  “I appreciate the invite, ma'am,” Grimmis told her gently. “And we'll worry about the assault complaint at a later time. I'm here for another reason.”

  “What's that?” Grandma Billie asked.

  Grimmis shot Billie and apologetic look before turning around. “Gloria Gardner, you're under arrest for the murder of Agnes Clutterbuck.”

  THIRTY FIVE

  The crowd gasped again and Garrett's eyes bulged.

  “What?” Gloria cried. “Why? I didn't do anything!”

  Garrett glanced around. “What the heck is going on?”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Felix,” Grandma Billie hollered. “Are you kidding me?”

  “No, ma'am, I'm not,” he said. “It's my belief that we have enough evidence to arrest Gloria for the crime. I'm sorry.”

  “I didn't do it!” Gloria cried again. Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving black streaks. “I didn't do anything!”

  One of the police officers took her by the elbow and lifted his handcuffs off his hip.

  “You're ruining my day, Felix!” Grandma Billie shouted. She held up the key to the city with shaking fingers. “I'm gonna shove this key where the sun doesn’t shine!”

  Felix Grimmis seemed undeterred by that threat as he began reading Gloria her rights. The officer gently pulled one arm behind her back, then the other.

  “This is so unfair!” Gloria said, sobbing now. “I didn't touch Agnes!”

  “You are heartless!” Vivian suddenly yelled at her. “Just heartless! Maybe just fess up and tell everyone what you did to that poor woman! We all know you did it!”

  “We should get the kids out of here,” I whispered in Jake's ear. “They don't need to see all of this.”

  He nodded.

  I scanned the crowd, trying to find the little ones. The room had shifted completely, with nearly every guest crowded around us. I couldn't find either of them. But I did see Esther standing in the doorway, her face pale, her hand clamped over her mouth.

  “I didn't do anything!” Gloria screamed again. “Nothing!”

  “Please,” Vivian snarled. “Stop your lying. I think we should all think of poor Agnes here. She was defenseless. You attacked her and killed her in your own kitchen.”

  I looked at Vivian. There was no sadness or anger in her expression. Just glee. She was unbelievably happy to be witnessing Gloria's arrest.

  “I did no such thing!” Gloria screamed. “I never would've hurt Agnes!”

  “A likely story,” Vivian said, laughing. “What you did to her was just awful. I'm glad people are seeing you for who you are. People need to know how terrible you are. And now you can rot in jail for what you did to her with that cymbal!”

  The entire room gasped again.

  So did I.

  But for a different reason.

  Gloria looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

  “How did you know that?” I asked loudly.

  The entire room looked in my direction.

  “How did you know about the cymbal?” I asked again, staring at her.

  “Because...because…” Her voice faltered. “Well, because everyone knows that's what happened.”

  “Daisy.” Garrett grabbed me by the arm. “What is going on?”

  I shrugged away from him. “Not now.” I refocused on Vivian. “No one knows that. Gloria doesn't even know that.”

  I looked at Detective Grimmis. “No one knew that.”

  His attention was now firmly focused on Vivian. “Ma'am. You did say cymbal, correct?”

  Vivian's face was no flushed. “Yes, but...but...I just heard that. From other people.”

  “You couldn't have.” I shook my head. My adrenaline was pumping and my hands were shaking. “No one knew about it.” I glanced at Detective Grimmis again. “You didn't tell anyone.”

  He was still focused on Vivian. “She's correct, ma'am. We did not release that information to the public.”

  Vivian was taking small steps backward. “You must be wrong. I'm…I’m sure I heard it somewhere else.”

  Grace and Sophie suddenly materialized at the edge of the crowd. They looked confused as to what was going on. Grace had on the necklace they'd been admiring earlier, and I really hoped she hadn't stolen it.

  “Ma'am, I believe we should have a conversation,” Detective Grimmis said, taking a step toward Vivian.

  Vivian pivoted awkwardly on her stiletto heels, her eyes wild.

  “She did hear it from someone else.”

  My gaze shifted toward the door. Esther was still standing there, still pale. She took a tentative step forward.

  “She heard it from me.”

  My pulse quickened. “What?”

  Esther’s face crumpled. “It…it was an accident.” She choked on a sob. “I went to see Gloria, to tell her I was quitting. And Agnes was there. She…she’d broken into the garage and was going to destroy all the band equipment. I told her not to do it, told her I was going to call the police. She didn’t listen and she threw a drumstick at me. I…I grabbed a cymbal and tossed it at her and it hit her in the back of the head. She went down and…” Her face crumpled. “She hit her head and she just didn’t get up.”

  “Wait a minute.” I’d made my way to the doorway, with Grimmis and his officers right behind me. “You’re saying you killed Agnes?”

  “It was an accident!”
Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. “I just meant to stop her from destroying all of the equipment. I was going to call the police as soon as…as soon as she went down, but then she showed up.” She pointed at Vivian. “And she told me I would go to jail for it, that murder was murder. She said we should just leave the body in the house and have Gloria deal with it, that the police would figure out that Agnes had broken in.” Another sob strangled her. “I didn’t mean for this to happen! Any of it!”

  “Looks like we’ll need to have a conversation with you, too,” Grimmis said. He motioned for one of his officers. Esther just stood there, her shoulders wracked with sobs.

  Grimmis glanced around. “Where is…?”

  I followed his gaze. Vivian was still in the middle of the floor, frozen in place.

  “Ma’am,” Grimmis said, starting toward her.

  She shrieked and took two quick steps, trying to make a break for it.

  But she wasn’t fast enough. Grandma Billie stuck out her huge key to the city and Vivian went tumbling to the ground. Grimmis and another officer were on Vivian immediately, cuffing her.

  Grandma Billie cackled and held up the key. “Guess it was big enough after all!”

  THIRTY SIX

  Grimmis and the other officer pulled Vivian to her feet. Her wig was now tilted to the side and her dress was askew, exposing part of a beige, full-figure bra. It was the only piece of clothing I’d seen her wear that seemed to fit her age.

  “Why?” Gloria asked, still cuffed. “Why would you do such a thing?”

  “Because of you!” Vivian growled. “Because you ruin everything!”

  The crowd gasped one more time, startled by the admission.

  “I didn't do anything!”

  “Oh, please,” Vivian snapped. “You are not Miss Innocent, alright? And we all know it. It should be me singing in this band and everyone knows that, too. Everyone!”

  Gloria didn't have a response for that, and she didn’t have any more questions. It was as if she had been stunned into silence.

  But I had a question.

  “How was setting her up going to get you back in the band?” I asked.

  “Because she'd be gone!” Vivian said. “She'd be in jail and I could take my spot back from her. Because it's mine!”

  “Good lord, Vivian,” Grandma Billie said. She was still holding her key, stroking it lovingly. “That is the dumbest plan I've ever heard in my life. And if you're gonna frame someone for murder, do a better job next time.”

  “I want my lawyer,” Vivian mumbled. “I'm not saying anything else.”

  “You've already said it all,” Grandma Billie said, laughing. “Enjoy the clink!”

  Grimmis nodded to his officer, who began reading Vivian her rights as he escorted her through the crowd and out of the room. He approached the officer holding Esther and he nodded and handed him something. “I apologize, Ms. Gardner,” Grimmis said. He unlocked the cuffs from her wrists and handed them back to the officer, who placed them on Esther. “I think we might've made a mistake.”

  Gloria just nodded and rubbed her wrists. She looked to be a little shell-shocked, her eyes glazed over with a faraway look in them.

  Grimmis then turned to Grandma Billie. “And I apologize for interrupting your party, ma'am. Congratulations, and happy birthday.”

  “Don't apologize, Felix,” Billie said, waving her key in the air. “This is the most fun I've ever had at a party. Next year's gonna be a letdown!”

  “Next year?” A voice boomed from the doorway. “Why are we talking about next year?”

  Don and Mary Kay were standing there, travel-stained and tired in their matching Hawaiian shirts and khaki shorts. Don wore a big, goofy smile and Mary Kay's short hair was in desperate need of a brushing, but they'd made it. Somehow, some way. Sophie shrieked in surprise and Grandma Billie's eyes filled with tears at the sight of them.

  “We’ve got a birthday to celebrate this year,” Don said as he swooped in and enveloped his mother in a hug.

  Grandma Billie squealed like a little girl. “Darn tootin’, we do.”

  THIRTY SEVEN

  The party continued on after the interruption.

  The GG’s finally got up on stage and played 90 minutes worth of really terrible music that most of the guests seemed to enjoy. We spent thirty minutes bringing Garrett and Don and Mary Kay up to speed. Stella's phone rang halfway through the conversation and she'd excused herself to take the call.

  When everyone’s curiosity had been satisfied, I finally sat down next to Grandma Billie and had my beer.

  “Quite the party,” the old woman said with a smile. She’d drained her beer and someone had brought her a glass of champagne, which she was now enjoying along with a slice of her birthday cake.

  “And then some,” I answered. “I hope you still had a nice time.”

  “Are you kidding me, Daisy?” she said, opening her eyes as wide as they went. “This beats the first 99 birthdays.”

  I laughed. “Well, I'm glad to hear that.”

  “I'm sorta hoping I'll live longer to have a few more of these if they're gonna be like this,” she said.

  I laughed again and nodded.

  “You know, Gloria can be a real moron sometimes, and her temper is the worst, but I didn't think she killed old Agnes,” she said. “Didn't think she had it in her. So I'm glad you believed that, too. Would've been a shame to see her carted out of here like a criminal.”

  Guilt stabbed at me. She was giving me credit that I didn’t deserve. I had thought Gloria was guilty. After all, the signs seemed to point directly to her. It was only coincidence and a lot of luck that the true culprit had been found.

  “Billie,” I began, ready to fess up.

  She held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m done talking about this.”

  “But—”

  She glared at me with watery eyes. “No buts. I’m a hundred and this is my party and what I say goes.”

  She was giving me a pass. I smiled gratefully. “If you say so.”

  “I do.” She sipped her champagne, and a little dribbled from her lip to her chin. She wiped at it with a napkin. “And I don't say nice things very often, so don't tell anyone I said this.” She lowered her voice. “Your children are a pleasure. To tolerate an old codger like me and still be polite, that's saying something. I have enjoyed them very much.”

  “Well, thank you,” I said, smiling at her. “That is very kind of you to say.”

  “Like I said, don't go telling people I'm going soft. I've got a reputation to keep up.” She winked at me. “And don't take so long to come back to visit.”

  “We won't. I promise. We've had a great time.”

  She leaned closer to me. “Do I even want to know about my grandsons and the woman they apparently passed back and forth?”

  Garrett and Stella were over at the bar, talking to several people I didn't know. She'd been outside on the phone during the melee and had come back in, baffled by the police and the two women being led out in handcuffs.

  “There is no back and forth,” I said firmly, my eyes narrowing.

  Grandma Billie smiled. “Atta girl.”

  I smiled at her. “If Garrett is happy, then good for him. And as for Stella, I hope she's happy, too. Because if she hadn't divorced your other grandson, I wouldn't have him.”

  She reached out and laid her hand on my arm. “For my money, Jakey got the better end of this deal.”

  “You better stop or I am going to start telling everyone how nice you really are,” I said.

  She winked at me again and gave me a sly smile. “They'd never believe you.”

  THIRTY EIGHT

  “Do we really have to leave tomorrow?” Grace asked.

  “We wanna stay,” Sophie whined.

  It was the day after the party and we were finally at the Magic Kingdom. We got to the park as soon as it opened and the girls had us racing around the entire time. Don and Mary Kay had joined us, but afte
r an hour navigating rides and autograph lines, they’d opted to head over to EPCOT instead. After all, they did enjoy traveling the real world, so spending a day at EPCOT would be like revisiting their old haunts.

  The lines had been mercifully short and it had been an incredibly pleasant day. We were finishing dinner near Space Mountain and they were just beginning to come to terms with the fact that we were leaving the following morning.

  “I'm ready to go,” Will said.

  “You just want to go home and play your dumb computer games,” Grace said, frowning at him.

  He stuck a French fry in his mouth and shrugged. “I’ve been playing them here. But the FPS has been terrible.”

  “The what?” I asked.

  “Frames per second,” he said, munching another fry. “My ranking is in jeopardy because the WiFi has been so bad here. I need to get back and play for like twenty hours straight.”

  “I like it here,” Emily announced. For once, she didn’t have her phone in her hand. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, soaking up the early evening sun. “I'd come back.”

  “You've barely even seen anything,” Will said, rolling his eyes. “You've been glued to your phone and Andy. It's like you never even left.”

  “I’m not glued to my phone now,” she said. “And I would come back.”

  “Can we come back?” Grace asked eagerly. She was wearing a mouse ears hat that, coupled with her sunburned nose, tripled her cuteness factor. “Soon?”

  “Maybe,” Jake said. He ate the last bit of his burger and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “We'll see.”

  The two younger girls hung their heads and went back to picking at their food. ‘We’ll see’ was often code for ‘no,’ but I had a feeling this time Jake really was considering coming back. Soon.

  I'd had a good time, too, despite all of the drama with Gloria, Agnes, and Vivian. I’d come to Florida with some reservations – about meeting and spending time with Jake’s extended family, about whether or not the parks and the weather were going to be all they were cracked up to be – and I had been thoroughly impressed. The parks were better than advertised and the weather had been kind to us for the entire week. We'd needed the vacation and gotten exactly what I'd hoped for. Well, minus the murder mystery.