by Ciana Stone
“I couldn’t fall for her, Red.”
“No, why?”
“Because she’s not you.”
“Oh, Brody, you sure know how to woo me, don’t you?”
“Woo? Now that’s an old-fashioned way of saying it.”
Trina smiled. “I got that from my Uncle. When I was little, he’d come to see us a lot when my Dad was gone. He checked up on us to make sure we were okay, and he was so kind to me. Even after Dad left, he kept up with me, despite my mom not wanting him too. Anyway, he’d always say that one day I’d grow up and some handsome and strong man would come along and woo me and win my heart, but I had to make sure he was worthy of such a rare prize.”
“Sounds like a pretty good guy.”
“Uncle Wiley was the best.”
Brody felt the blood drain from his brain. This couldn’t be. “Wiley?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Just an unusual name.”
“I suppose.”
“So, your uncle was always a part of your life?”
“For a long time. Until my mother got married, then—then something happened. I don’t know what. I just know that he stopped coming to see me.”
“I guess that hurt you.”
“Yes.” She looked away.
“That question bothered you, didn’t it? Red, look at me.”
It took a few moments before she did, and he saw the pain in her eyes. “Do you know why he stopped coming to see you?”
She nodded and started fiddling with her hair, gathering a clump of it in her hands and raking her fingers through it. “I think he and my mom had an affair. That’s why my Dad left. He found out and he and Wiley had a big fight and he left. But then Wiley left, too. I mean he left my mom. He came to see me, but he never spent any more time with her. Then when she got married—well, he stopped coming.”
“Do you think it was his choice or hers?”
“Neither. It was Dale’s. Her husband. He didn’t want Wiley to be there and my mom did whatever he wanted. She thought he was really something.”
“What did you think?”
“I can’t talk about that right now.”
“Why?”
“Because it makes me anxious. Really anxious and when I get anxious, Sadie comes out and we don’t want her to come out.”
“No, we don’t. But I think it’s important that you tell someone about your past, Red, so maybe we should invite Etta over. You know she’s a shrink, right?”
“Yes.”
“But she’s a good one, and she honestly wants to help people.”
“I don’t know.” She wrapped her arms around herself and the way she physically drew in made him feel that she was not just insulating herself from a chill in the air, but from everything around her, including him.
“Come on.” He stood and offered his hand. When she placed her hand in his, he pulled her up. “Let’s get back to the house and get you warmed up.”
“That would be nice.”
Brody found it difficult not to try to convince Trina to let him call Etta. He honestly felt that Etta could help, and he also feared what would happen if Sadie took back control. He thought about it on the walk to the house, and while he waited for Trina to shower and dress.
When she walked into the kitchen, he had a pot of tea waiting. While he preferred coffee, hot, black and strong, she liked tea. She poured herself a cup and took a seat beside him at the small table.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Yes, much, thank you.”
“Red?”
“You must hate having to ask that.”
“Let’s just say it’s an anxious thing—waiting to find out if it’s you or one of the others.”
“I’m sorry, Brody.” She put her hands in her lap and clasped them together. “For so much. I know I’m a burden and I have no clue why you continue to help me.”
“Yes, you do.”
She stared at him for a moment then nodded. “You’re right and I’m not going to insult you with a lie. Sadie has that area of things well in hand.”
“Look, I know talking about all this is difficult, but if I’m going to do a good job of protecting you, I really need to know as much as possible, so could I ask you some questions?”
“Yes, but could we build a fire and sit on the sofa?”
“Sure. Grab your tea and I’ll get the fire started.”
As he worked on the fire, she set her tea cup on the side table and pulled the thick knitted throw from the back of the sofa, wrapped it around herself and then curled up with her feet tucked beneath her.
Once Brody had the fire going, he took a seat on the couch and watched the fire, trying to decide the best way to broach the subject he wanted to discuss. “Thank you, Brody.” Trina said softly, prompting him to look at her.
“You’re welcome.”
“I know there’s something on your mind.”
“Yeah.”
“So tell me. Or ask me. I’ll answer what I can.”
“Okay.” He angled to face her, hooking one leg up on the sofa. “It’s about Sadie. I thought her job was to protect you.”
“It is. Or was.”
“But not anymore?”
“Yes and no.” She looked away and stared at the fire for a few moments, gnawing at her lip, which he’d learned was a sign she was trying to make a decision. “Okay, wait here.” She threw off the blanket, got up and went into the kitchen.
When she returned, she had a book in her hand, one of those cloth covered affairs that he’d imagine girls purchase to use as diaries. Trina reclaimed her seat, tucked the blanket around her legs and looked at Brody.
“This is Catherine’s diary. She writes in it all the time, trying to figure things out.”
“What kind of things?”
“Everything. Catherine is the youngest of all of us even if she doesn’t seem to be. And she has the least memory of all, so a lot of who we are, who she is, doesn’t make sense to her. She writes and draws and trying to coax memories to rise to the surface, but what does float up are only bits and pieces and it’s very frustrating and frightening for her.
“Sometimes Sadie takes Catherine’s diary and writes in it. Later you can read all of it, but for now, you should read what Sadie wrote today.”
She flipped through the pages, found her place and then handed it to him. Brody read what Sadie had written and with every word he read, his concern grew. When he finished, he handed the diary back to Trina.
“Sadie means to kill you. You know that, right?”
“Not kill. Just shove me back so far into the darkness that I can’t interfere.”
“There’s not much difference, honey.”
“Honey?” A smile lit her face, and she raised both hands to cover her mouth. “I’m sorry, it’s—it’s just that I have such a thing for you, Brody and when you say things like that it only makes it worse.”
“Worse is the wrong word, Red. And I have a thing for you, too.”
“I know.” She moved her hands away from her face. “And I like it. But that’s not what you want to talk about.”
“Actually, I kind of do.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I need to ask you something that’s very personal.”
“Okay.”
“Have you ever been with a man?”
Her smile vanished, and a look of fear came on her face. “No. Not—not like you mean. Not willingly.”
“Not willingly?”
“I can’t talk about this.”
“You mean with me, or with anyone?”
“I−I don’t know. It’s… Brody, I just can’t.”
“It’s okay, I’m not going to push, but could you talk with another woman about it? Someone like Etta? And before you get mad, I’m not trying to shove her down your throat, but I know people she’s helped, and I believe she can help you. Don’t you want help, Red?”
“Yes, I do. I’m just scared.”
“I w
on’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
Trina scooted over closer to Brody and he pulled her onto his lap, enveloping her in his arms. “It’ll be fine, Red. Just give Etta a chance.”
Trina knew that Etta meant her no harm and also that she was trustworthy. The problem was, Trina wasn’t trusting of anyone. Brody was the first exception to that rule and even with him she held back.
For a long time they stayed as they were, him holding her and her huddled in as close as possible to him, searching herself for the answers on what course of action to take.
In a flash, she saw the folly of her reluctance to accept the help Etta offered. Not in the way Brody thought, but in a far more important way. Maybe Etta could help her survive the attack Sadie was sure to launch.
Trina knew that Sadie wanted control. Permanent control. She couldn’t allow that. It was, after all, her life and Sadie was simply a construct of her mind, created to protect herself during a time she was young, vulnerable and scared.
She’s allowed Sadie, and Catherine to be in the foreground for too long. It was way past time to reclaim her life, and she thought maybe that’s why she’d been led to Cotton Creek.
Here was where she’d make her stand.
Chapter Twelve
“You paint the picture of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
Brody jumped at the sound of the voice. Damn. He’d been so caught up in thought he hadn’t even heard Wiley approach. Now he quickly turned. “What’re you doing out here so early?”
“To be honest, I’m not quite sure. Something about this place disrupts my sleep.”
The smell of rich dark coffee wafted from the mug Wiley held and made Brody’s belly grumble. He should have gotten up earlier and had breakfast. Curiosity over Wiley’s remark turned his attention away from his stomach. “A lot of people find it peaceful.”
“I can see why.”
“If that’s so then why does it affect you the opposite?”
Wiley shrugged and raised the thick mug in his hand again, to take a drink. “Probably nothing, but it feels like something’s out of kilter here.”
“Out of kilter?”
“Forget it. Maybe it’s just the imaginings of—Jesus Christ!” Coffee sloshed over the rim of his cup and Brody’s gaze followed that of Wiley’s.
Shit. Trina had just run into view. She saw the two of them and her eyes went to Wiley, widened and then she turned and ran like a rabbit in the opposite direction.
“Hey!” Wiley yelled but she never slowed. He watched until she disappeared from sight and then looked at Brody. “You know who that was?”
“Someone who shows up and runs the course most mornings. We call her our mystery woman why?”
“Nothing. I’ll see you later, Brody.”
Something about Wiley’s departure struck Brody as odd. Then it hit him. The expression on Trina’s face. What she’d told him.
Wiley.
It couldn’t be. Could it? Was Wiley Trina’s uncle?
Holy shit. If that was true then he was hiding Deacon’s daughter.
Rather than follow Trina, Brody headed for Sanctuary. He and Trina had agreed that she would talk with Etta, and he’d planned on speaking with Etta later in the day. Now he felt he had no time to waste.
*****
Trina slowed to a walk when she broke into the clearing beside Mathias’ house. She was a bit surprised at herself. When she saw her Uncle Wiley standing with Brody, she should have felt joy at seeing his face. Instead, she felt fear and ran.
But why here?
She saw him standing at the water’s edge. A silent giant, bathed in mist. Mathias turned his head and nodded to her. “Come. Share the dawn with me, Catherine.”
Trina didn’t correct him on her name. She simply walked over and stood beside him, watching as the horizon lightened and the heavens above became lighter. Swaths of color streaked the sky and soon the new day was upon them.
“You’re troubled.” Mathias stated.
“I’m not Catherine.” There, she’d said it, and a weight lifted from her chest. He turned his head to look at her.
“So, you’ve found your true face?”
Trina nodded. “I need a friend, Mathias. Someone who understands.”
“I will try to understand.”
“My name is Trina. Actually, it’s Katrina Rose Johns but since I was twelve, Sadie has been in control. Sadie Rockler. She changed our name legally when we were eighteen and she kept me locked in the darkness.
“I found someone here. A man. His name is Brody and I think maybe he’s part of the reason I’m here. He’s the first person I’ve trusted in a long time. He bought a house so I would be safe and I think—no, I know. Brody has feelings for me but it bothers him. He thinks he’s not the kind of man to settle down and share a life with someone.”
“What do you think?”
“I think he’s wrong but maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part because I care for him. He’s the only person I’ve ever known who was not broken. Brody is whole. He’s pure, and he doesn’t even know it. He’s a hero, Mathias. A real one. Like you. He gives without asking anything in return.”
“I don’t know that I belong in that class.”
“But I do.”
“Thank you. Have you told these truths to Brody?”
Trina looked away, letting her gaze travel over the still water and up to the ever-lightening sky. “Some. Not all. Today I saw something. Someone. I should have been overjoyed. I should have wanted to run to him, but instead I ran away. Afraid.”
“Why would you be afraid?”
“I don’t know. Not for sure. But Mathias, I know that any life I touch could be in danger if Mason James has his way. He wants to see us caged like an animal, poked and prodded, drugged and electrocuted. His mind has been poisoned to want us to be hurt and I don’t know how to undo what was done to him. I need help.”
Mathias nodded and turned to face her. He offered his hand, palm up. “Will you trust me Katrina Rose?”
It amazed Trina that there was no hesitation, no anxiety or fear when she nodded and put her hand in his. “I will, Mathias.”
“Then we need to see Etta. Dr. Whitestone. And I think Brody should be with us. Will you agree to that?”
“Yes. But not there. I don’t want to take a chance on Mason seeing me.”
“Then I’ll call her and Brody and ask them to come—where? Here or to Brody’s house?”
“To Brody’s”
“Fine. Let’s go inside. I’ll make the call and then we’ll drive to Brody’s. Okay?”
“Under one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“That you accept my gratitude now rather than later.”
“Of course.”
“No, I mean accept my gift.” She placed her free hand beneath their clasped ones.
“Trina, you don’t have to− "
“I want to. Please.”
She thought he was going to refuse, but finally he nodded. “If it will cause no harm to you.”
“Trust me.” She pleaded and when he nodded, she closed her eyes and allowed that hidden door in her mind to open. It was one accessible only to her and one she did not walk through much because of the life force it demanded in payment for what it offered.
Once the door opened, she allowed herself to reach out and touch Mathias’s mind, felt his pain and regret as if it were her own. She swallowed it, felt it fill her with agony and then she whispered the word she knew would dispel the darkness.
“Begone.”
And just like that, it was. She felt Mathias fill with peace and her heart literally sang with the joy of it. Then her strength ran out, and she staggered.
“Trina!” Mathias quickly picked her up and cradled her gently as he hurried to the house. Once inside he placed her on the sofa. “I’ll call an ambul−"
“No.” She raised a hand to stop him. “Please. I’m okay. Just a little tire
d.”
“Are you certain?”
“I am.”
Mathias sat beside her. She thought how marvelous it was to see the transformation that had taken place. Gone was the tightness, the lines of worry and pain that had marred his looks. Where before he was the picture of barbaric beauty, all dark and enormous with a scowl that could scare the devil himself, now he was the stuff of legend and fantasy.
How many women would fall victim to this beauty? Particularly if they were ever made privy to the beauty of the man within. She hoped he would find one among those many who would complete and love him.
“I can never repay you for what you’ve done.”
“You already have,” she argued. “You gave a stranger sanctuary and friendship. Only a true hero would do that. You’re my friend and always will be.”
“And you are mine.”
She smiled up at him. “Shall we call Etta and Brody now?”
“Yes. Just rest. My phone is in the kitchen.”
She nodded and lay her head on the arm of the couch, listening as Mathias spoke to Etta and then to Brody. Once he’d finished, he returned to where she lay.
“Are you feeling strong enough to leave?”
“I am, thank you.” She wasn’t really lying. She was strong enough, she just wasn’t yet at full capacity. It took a couple of days after a healing for her to be at full strength again.
Once, long ago when Sadie needed her to try to heal someone, she had almost died. It had taken her several weeks to recover and during that time, Sadie had convinced her to give birth to Catherine. It had also brought about a shift in Sadie.
She’d always wanted to be dominant, and she’d made no excuses or apologies for keeping Trina in the dark, but after that failed healing, she’d started to hate Trina and blame her for all the unhappiness.
Sadie lost someone she loved, and she blamed Trina for it even though it was not Trina’s fault.
This healing with Mathias, was nowhere near the drain of that one. And she was eager to get back to Brody’s and reveal her truths.