by Ciana Stone
She and Mathias got into his truck to make the trip to Brody’s house. Neither of them spoke. Trina was too focused on a battle he didn’t realize was being waged. It took all her mental strength to remain in control.
Trina could feel Sadie battering at her mind, screaming that Trina was making a huge mistake. Even Catherine had piped up, pleading with Trina to change her mind. They were safer if no one knew their secrets.
That might be true. Trina couldn’t say for sure that revealing her truth to Etta and Brody would keep her safe, but some kernel of strength inside her was saying it was time to stop running. It was time to make a stand and reclaim her life.
Her life. Not the one Sadie had forced on her, or the one her stepfather had made her endure but a life of her own choosing.
She was so lost in thought, she didn’t realize the passage of time and was surprised when they pulled up in front of Brody’s house. Brody’s truck was there, but no other vehicle was visible. Had Etta changed her mind?
The answer to that question was revealed when the front door opened. Brody stepped out, followed by Etta.
“Are you okay, Red?” Brody asked when she and Mathias walked up to the front steps. “You’re pale.”
“I’m fine. Thank you for coming.”
“You know you don’t have to thank me.”
“Yes, I do Brody. You keep coming to my rescue. The least I can do is say thank you.” She then looked at Etta. “And thank you, Dr. Whitestone.”
“Etta, please.”
“Okay, thank you Etta.”
“I’m happy to help. If you think I can.”
“I do. That’s why I asked Mathias to call.”
“Do you want to go inside?” Brody asked.
“No. Could we sit at the picnic table, under the tree in the back yard?”
“Sure.”
They all walked around the house to the back where an old picnic table was placed in the shade of a big tree. Trina took Brody’s hand and pulled him to sit beside her, leaving Mathias and Etta to sit across from them.
“Okay, tell me how I can help.” Etta opened the conversation.
“I think before you dive into that, it’s important you know something.” Mathias interjected and drew Etta’s attention.
“What?”
“Can’t you sense it?”
Her eyes widened, and she reached for his hand. “This is…” she looked at Trina. “You did this?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Did what?” Brody asked.
“Took it away.” Mathias answered.
“You mean…?”
“Yes. She gave me peace. Trina healed me.”
Brody looked at Trina. “How?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I just feel it and take it inside me and then I tell it to go away.”
“Begone.” Mathias said and added. “That’s what you said. Begone.”
“Why begone?” Etta asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe it was from my Dad.” Trina replied. “When I was real little and would have a bad dream, I would always cover my head and pray that someone would come and drive the fear away. One night when my Dad was home I had a particularly terrifying dream and I must have screamed. He came in and listened to me tell about it and then asked if I wanted to know the secret to taking away all the bad—the fear and hurt and sadness. I said yes, and he smiled at me.
“It’s easy Rosebud. Just look that bad stuff right in the eye and say the magic word.”
“What’s the magic word?” I asked.
He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Begone.”
She looked around at everyone. “And since then that’s the word that heals, that washes away whatever afflicts someone.”
“You must have inherited the ability from your parents.” Etta said. “One or both of them must be empathic. But your ability is much more. Do you know if either of your parents−"
“Doc, wait.” Mathias interrupted and when she paused, he turned his attention to Trina. “Tell Doc and Brody your name, Trina. Your real name.”
She couldn’t imagine what difference that made, except maybe her eyes had not been deceiving her. Maybe the man she saw in the pre-dawn hours was not a figment of her imagination. Maybe it was her Uncle.
“Katrina Rose Johns.”
She saw, then felt shock reverberate from Etta and Brody. “What?” She asked. “Why did that shock you so?”
“Your father is Deacon Johns?” Etta asked.
“Yes.”
“Dear God.” Etta looked from her to Brody and then at Mathias. “She’s Deacon’s daughter.”
“You know my Dad?”
“I do. We all do.”
“Then he’s alive?”
“He is.”
Trina had not realized until that moment that she’d carried around a fear for years that maybe something had happened to her Dad. Maybe he’d been killed, and that’s why he’d stayed away.
Now, the fear was gone but in its place was something that just might be more nasty. Resentment. “So, he’s alive and well and has been all these years?”
“I-–" Etta stammered. “Trina, I don’t know what to say. I knew Deacon had a daughter, but I didn’t know−I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“Where is he?”
“He is Commander of the new Clear Springs Ground Training facility.” Brody supplied the answer.
“And is my Uncle Wiley there as well? I thought I saw him this morning.”
“Yes, he is.”
Trina knew she was going to have to find a place to be alone in order to process the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. But for now, she knew enough about control to be able to push them to one side.
“Etta, I wanted you here because I want you to know the truth.” She looked at Mathias and then at Brody. “I want you all to know.”
“We’re listening, Red.” Brody gave her hand a squeeze.
“You already know that my parents divorced. What you might not know is that my Dad came home one day and found my mom in bed with another man. His brother, Wiley. It seems that Wiley loved mom a lot more than Dad did. Dad rarely came home and when he did, he always seemed like he was a million miles away. I mean he was good to me, and I believe he loved me, but he and Mom—well, they just seemed like people trying not to bump into each other.
“When Uncle Wiley came it was different. There was laughter and Mom was always smiling and we did things like a real family. Until that day. Dad and Uncle Wiley shouted at each other and Dad shouted at Mom and Uncle Wiley threatened to punch Dad and Mom said she’d call the police and it was so loud and so ugly and I couldn’t get anyone to hear me so I ran and hid.”
She paused and cleared her throat. “I stayed in my room all day and night. The next morning, my mom told me that my Dad wouldn’t be coming back. Nor would Uncle Wiley. It was just us and God only knew what we were going to do.
“Mom became a different person. She drank a lot, and she yelled at me a lot and she started slapping me. About six months after Dad left, Sadie was born. My mom was really on a bender and I was trying to get her to stop. We were out of groceries, and the house was nasty and smelled like an ashtray. All she did was smoke and drink.
“She got really mad and hit me. Not like a slap. She balled up her fist and hit me in the side of the head. I remember falling and then suddenly there was something—someone new inside me and she wasn’t scared one little bit.
“We jumped up and screamed at Mom that if she ever touched us again we’d call the police. Then we ran to our room.
“That was the preamble to Sadie being born. She didn’t make many appearances over the next few years. Mom stopped drinking so much and then she started seeing men. When she married, I knew it was going to be bad. I could tell by the way he looked at me.
“I was right. By the time I was twelve, I was no longer a virgin and had been schooled in things no child should be made to do. One night
my mom was passed out on the couch and he decided that it wasn’t enough to rape me vaginally. He wanted to sodomize me.
“That’s when Sadie came out. She picked up a pair of scissors and stabbed him. Then she took his wallet, got dressed and crammed all my clothes into a grocery bag and we left.”
Trina looked at Brody. “I don’t remember much about the next year to be honest, but when I was fourteen, we were in an orphanage and our name was Sadie Rockler. That’s who we were from then on. Sadie shoved me into the background and took charge. She finished high school, got a scholarship and went to college where she was recruited. Seems she had a particular knack for beating polygraphs. She became a spy, and that’s how she met Mason.”
Everyone was silent when Trina finished talking. “There’s more, but I don’t feel like telling it right now,” she added. “But I do need you to know that Mason isn’t a bad man like Sadie thinks. His mind was messed with as well.”
As hard as it was for her to face Brody, she looked directly at him. “You asked me once if I’d ever been with a man and I said not willingly. Sadie was with Mason. For a couple of years they were lovers. Well, maybe not lovers. They had sex. They liked it and neither of them had any desire to be in love.
“But they did care for one another. After all, they were partners. He wouldn’t have turned on her. He just wouldn’t. I know how they can mess with your head. I believe they messed with his.
“Still, you need to know that Sadie was with him. Sexually. Not me. I’ve never been with a man.”
“You don’t have to explain, Red.” His voice was so gentle and his smile so kind, it brought tears to her eyes.
“But I do, Brody. Don’t you see? You’re the only unbroken person I’ve ever known and I’ve never been anything but broken. I don’t deserve someone like you even though I have deep feelings for you. I just want you to know the truth. From me, not anyone else.”
“Thank you.”
She nodded and looked at Etta. “I know you have a million questions and I’ll tell you what I can, but most importantly I’ll try to help you find the answers the CIA wants.”
“You know where to look?”
“Maybe. I told you, Sadie kept me in the dark, but she couldn’t stop me from sifting through her mind. I think I may be able to find the answers. When it’s time.”
“And when will that time be, Trina?”
“Soon. But first, I need to see my Dad and my Uncle. Can you make that happen?”
“I can, but are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“I will be soon. I have to be.”
“Why have to be?”
“Because I need them to help me kill Sadie.”
Chapter Thirteen
Brody and Mathias watched Etta and Trina go into the house then looked at one another.
“That was intense.” Brody said.
Mathias nodded and Brody frowned. “I know what you’re thinking so go ahead and say it. You think I’m going to cut and run.”
A shrug was all the response he got, which frustrated him. “Look, I know I don’t have much of a stick-to-it rep when it comes to relationships and I admit that I’m not the fall in love kinda guy, but I do care.”
“How much?”
“I don’t know. A lot?”
“What does that mean?”
“I wish to fuck I knew.” Brody raked his hands back through his hair then lowered his head into his hands.
“She talked about you. When she came to my house.”
“What did she say?”
“That you’re the only person she’s ever known who wasn’t broken. She said that you’re whole and pure and you don’t even know it. But you’re a hero, a real one who gives without asking anything in return. And that she cares deeply for you.”
Had it been anyone else, Brody would have kept his mouth closed. But he and Mathias had been friends since Mathias’ first posting to Brody’s team. Despite a few years difference in age, they’d hit it off and over the years their friendship had deepened. There was no one Brody trusted more.
“Aww shit, man. What am I supposed to do?”
“What you do want to do?”
“Honestly?”
“Always, brother.”
“Okay, don’t laugh. If I had my wish I guess I’d want to save her—from Sadie and Catherine, from the bad memories, Mason, and anyone who wants to hurt her.”
“You’d be her hero.”
“Yeah, silly, huh?”
“Not at all. She already thinks you are, so why not prove it?”
“How?”
“You’re a halfway smart man. You’ll figure it out.” Those words would have stung had they not been accompanied by a smile that let Brody know Mathias was just jerking his chain.
“Time for me to ride.” Mathias stood and offered his hand to Brody. “Later, brother.”
“Yep. Ride safe.”
“Always.”
Brody headed for the house as Mathias went around the side toward the driveway. Etta and Trina were at the front door, and he heard Trina thank Etta. Both turned as he entered the room.
“See you soon,” Etta said to him. “And Brody? If Sadie shows up, do whatever it takes to push her back.”
“Last time I had to drown Red.”
“I know. She told me.”
“Sadie’s gonna get wise to that fast. She’s not stupid.”
“No, but do whatever you can until we figure a way to help Trina eliminate that personality.”
“I will. Oh hell. I’m supposed to train on the mountain this afternoon. Deacon will have my ass.”
“I’ll take care of Deacon.”
“You say that so easily,” Trina commented.
“He and I have a long friendship. There are things we can say to one another that no one else can.”
“I appreciate the back-up.” Brody said.
“I’ll see you soon.” Etta promised and reached to give Trina’s arm a squeeze.
“Thank you, Etta.”
“You’re welcome.”
Etta left and Trina closed the door before turning to face Brody. “Do you hate me after what I said?”
“About what?”
“My stepfather. Mason.”
“No, why should I?” Brody crossed the room to her and took her hands. “Red, I never expected you to be a clean slate. None of us are. We all have baggage. Yours is—well, it’s more tragic than most and far more complicated, but the woman who was with Mason is Sadie, not you. And what happened with your stepfather—honey that’s rape and I’d like to snap the man’s neck.”
“I bet you could.” She pulled one hand free to reach up and touch his face. “But I wouldn’t want you to sully your soul with that.”
“I’m not nearly as pure as you make me out to be, Red.”
“I know. I know being a SEAL means you’ve done things for our country that you can’t talk about and things that might scare me. But I also know you’re good, Brody.”
“I hope I am.”
“And I’m willing to bet that you’re very good at some things.”
The change in her voice and look in her eyes shocked him. “Are you trying to seduce me, Red?”
“If you have to ask, I must not be doing it well.”
“Oh, I don’t know, honey. I think you had me at hello.”
“Then would you like to share a shower with me, and then a bed?”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I am.”
“But you said –"
“I said I hadn’t willingly had sex, and that’s true, but this is different. I want you, Brody and I know what that means. So, do you want to take that shower?
“You bet’cha.”
Trina smiled scooted around him, tugging on his hand. Brody grinned and followed her to the bathroom. She released his hand long enough to turn on the water in the tub and divert the stream to the shower head, then turned to him.
He was surprised when she took ho
ld of his t-shirt and started pulling it upward. Trina tossed it aside and ran her hands across his shoulders then over his chest. “God, you’re sexy.”
"Red− " Did she have any idea the fire she was lighting inside him. Despite her words that she knew what she wanted, he wasn’t sure at all.
“Shh.” With that, she kissed him.
Kissed him like she knew what she was doing.
Good God.
Within seconds they were tearing at each other’s clothes, hands touching, wandering, caressing and all the while, lips locked and tongues warring for dominance in a kiss that had him more than ready for whatever she wanted of him.
When they were free of clothing, Brody pulled her to him, feeling the warmth and softness of her breasts pressing against him. His hands roamed down her back to cup her ass and pull her more firmly against him.
“Forget the shower,” she whispered against his lips.
His answer was to break free and reach in to turn off the water. When he turned back, she claimed another kiss hot enough to set the room on fire. Her arms wound around his neck and he waltzed her back a few feet before they thudded into the wall and Trina’s foot slid on the cheap rug. Her arms reached out, seeking purchase and pulled towels free from the wall rack.
Brody backed her up against the wall and she grabbed his arms, digging her fingers into his biceps as she tried to turn him against the wall. Again, her foot slipped on the rug. Had he not wrapped his arms around her, she’d have fallen.
He lifted her off her feet and she wound her legs around him as he pinned her against the wall. It nearly made him weak in the knees. “Now,” she whispered.
Brody had planned on taking it slow, pleasuring her every way he knew. But the way she was grinding on him and her plea was eroding her control.
“Don’t you want to go to the bed?”
“No, now, Brody. Now.”
He reached beneath her, curled his pelvis and with one push, sank in.
Trina gasped against his mouth. “Yes, please.”
Those words were all the encouragement he needed. Gone were thoughts of her fragile nature and her relative inexperience. There was only the growing need, the small sounds of pleasure coming from her lips and the feel of her.
Nothing else mattered. Nothing at all.