Outback Dreams

by Rachael Johns

  Argh. I’ve got to get out of here.

  Hopefully, once her head was clear and the alumnae party faded to a distant memory, she’d be able to look at Monty again— clothed or not—without getting all hot under the collar.

  ‘Faith?’ Monty’s concerned voice jolted her from her reverie. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘It was like you were in a trance or something,’ Adam said as he poured himself a mug of coffee.

  ‘Nope.’ She forced a smile. ‘I’m absolutely fine, just thinking of all I need to get done today. I’ll see you guys soon.’

  Normally, she’d have pecked each of them on the cheek, but today she decided it might be safer not to. Hauling her backpack up onto her shoulder again, she took two steps backwards out of the kitchen and all but ran from the house.

  Chapter Five

  When Faith walked into the house at Forrester’s Rock fifteen minutes later, she’d have been forgiven for thinking a tornado had whirled through over the weekend. Her dad and brother were nowhere to be seen, but they’d left their mark in every nook and cranny. On the way from the front door through to her bedroom, she began Operation Clean-up, stooping to collect empty soft drink cans, Mars Bar wrappers and socks that were so far gone they should have been incinerated.

  As she tossed all her loot in the kitchen bin, her heart rate accelerated for reasons entirely different from why it had spiked in Monty’s house. Dishes were piled skyscraper-high in the sink, and the cereal bowls were still on the table. She flung her backpack on the floor, shoved her sleeves up to her elbows and turned the tap on full blast.

  Who do they think I am? Cinder-bloody-rella?

  It hadn’t always been this way. When her mum was alive, they’d all been expected to pull their weight, but somehow, in the months after she’d died, the routine of helping each other had slowly slipped beyond repair. Faith had become the go-to girl for cooking and cleaning. The cooking she actually enjoyed, but no one liked being treated like a slave.

  When the sink was full of soapy water, she clicked her iPod into the dock in the lounge room and switched it to shuffle. Cleaning could be almost bearable with her favourite tunes turned up loud, and she hoped today they’d help drown out her grumpiness. As she washed the dishes and polished the kitchen so it sparkled, while she ran the vacuum cleaner round the house, opened the windows to air the joint, threw a load of washing on and mopped the hard floors, she vowed that her home life was going to change.

  ‘There.’ Three hours later, hands on her hips, she stood back and assessed her work. The house looked fabulous, and she felt good about what she’d achieved, but knowing her “housemates” would barely notice—never mind thank her—dampened the joy. She’d tried not to think too much about Monty while she’d worked, but now she glanced at her watch. It was almost midday—which accounted for the racket her empty belly was making—and his appointment was scheduled for just after lunch. She bit her lip, hoping like crazy he got the loan.

  The vacuum and other cleaning supplies tucked away in the laundry, Faith headed for the fridge. She pulled a loaf of bread out of the freezer and was about to defrost the lot for sandwiches when she thought again.

  Already anticipating the look on her dad and Ryan’s faces, she smiled and proceeded to make herself the best darn sandwich ever. She grated every type of vegetable she could find, sliced some ham and cheese and then threw it all together to form something she probably wouldn’t be able to get her mouth around. She set her lunch on a plate, grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge and laid them both on the table, before quickly tidying her mess. At the last moment, just before her bum landed on the chair, she decided she wouldn’t throw them totally in the deep end.

  Retrieving the still mostly frozen loaf of bread, the margarine, the ham and cheese, she put them in a row on the bench. There. Let them make their own gourmet lunch.

  As she sat and took the first mouth-watering bite, she contemplated her fundraising pledge. She’d need to talk to the Shire about using the Memorial Hall, or maybe someone’s shearing shed would work better. Then there’d be sponsors to solicit, catering to organise, tickets to print, invitations, prizes—everyone loved prizes at things like this—decorations, and she should contact the charity soon and discuss her plans with them. Not to mention set a date. Her mind whirled with ideas. Not wanting to forget a single one, she left her sandwich and went to the study, where she located an old roll of butcher’s paper that had been there since she and Ryan were kids and liked to scribble away rainy afternoons. She ripped off a poster-sized piece, dug for markers in the bottom of a drawer and carried it all back to the kitchen table. It felt good to finally have something to sink her teeth into. Something productive that would have positive effects well beyond the realms of Forrester’s Rock.

  She was deep into an impressive mind map of every area that needed to be organised when the front door slammed and boots pounded down the hallway towards her. Cringing, she imagined the mud marks on her clean floors.

  ‘Once upon a time you guys took your boots off on the verandah,’ she yelled, and then sighed under her breath. ‘Once upon a time a lot of things were different around here.’

  Ryan appeared in the doorway, grinned the smile that let him get away with anything and everything with the ladies and said, ‘And then what would you do with your time?’

  Faith tightened her grip on a thick, black marker, restraining herself from throwing it at him. She knew he didn’t mean any harm, but she was sick of being taken for granted.

  ‘Nice of you to join us again,’ Ryan continued, crossing the floor and pulling out a chair. ‘How was Perth?’

  Before Faith had a chance to answer, her father entered the kitchen. He took one look at her chart on the table and frowned. ‘Where’s lunch?’

  She gestured to the bench where the basic ingredients for a sandwich were laid out. ‘Right there, Dad.’ Daringly, she took a bite of her own barely touched lunch and waited.

  Frank raised his eyebrows. Ryan turned his head and his eyes widened as he took in the spread of ingredients. Both of them appeared speechless. Hiding her smirk behind her sandwich, Faith took another bite.

  ‘You expect us to make it?’ Ryan finally asked.

  Keeping a straight face, she nodded. ‘I’ve been quite busy this morning but it’s all there, ready to throw together.’

  Shaking his head, Ryan made a noise—she wasn’t sure whether it was amusement or annoyance—but then he washed his hands and started assembling bread and cheese.

  Her dad, however, turned his glare on her. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘Actually, it’s never been better. I had an awesome weekend in Perth, and I’ve decided it’s time to do something important with my life. To start with, I’m organising a big ball in town to fundraise for dogs for autistic kids. Kids like Will Montgomery was.’

  She’d added that last bit because she knew they both had a soft spot for Monty’s brother.

  Silence reigned until Ryan scraped a chair across the tiles as he sat down. He wrapped his mouth around a chunky cheese sandwich made with still-frozen bread and winced as he bit in, then looked at her as if she’d changed into an alligator right before his eyes.

  ‘And how much time will this fundraising malarkey take up?’ grunted her dad. ‘Are we going to be expected to make our own lunch every day? What about dinner?’

  She swallowed. Thinking about standing up for herself was one thing, but actually doing so…

  ‘Well?’ Frank spoke calmly but there was thunder in his eyes.

  ‘Sometimes.’ She nodded, garnering courage. ‘And I don’t think it’s too much to ask. I never asked to be a slave to you two, but somehow that’s what I’ve become. My life is slipping away while I cook scones and stews and God knows what else for you. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m taking it back. If you won’t let me take on some actual farm work, then I’m going to look for something else. A job outside of Forrester’
s Rock.’

  Frank and Ryan gaped at her.

  Needing to fill the silence, she continued, ‘Just think about it. If you respected my wishes to be part of this place, then I might be too busy to look elsewhere. But I’m not. I’m bored senseless. Mum may have done everything for you, but I’m fed up. You need to learn how to look after yourselves.’

  Tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, Faith gathered up her piece of paper and her pens and stormed to her bedroom.

  She let the things in her arms fall to the floor then collapsed onto the bed as the tears spilled freely. How unfair that she should be made to feel guilty for doing something for herself. She rolled over and stared at the photo of her gorgeous mum on her bedside table. In many ways, Faith looked like Cassie, although her mum had always managed to seem more glamorous—one of those farmers’ wives who could make checked shirts, Levis and cowboy boots look feminine. Cassie rarely wore Blundies, preferring to order her boots from a catalogue, where she could ‘get a bit of style’ as she put it.

  Faith sighed. ‘Did you ever feel like this, Mum?’

  Maybe she had. Maybe that’s why she’d been so gung-ho about Faith studying something other than agricultural sciences. Maybe she’d wanted more for her than to end up a farmer’s wife. Damnit, why hadn’t she listened?

  ‘And damnit, why did you have to go and get sick?’

  Of course there was no answer to this question, and before Faith could remember this, a knock sounded on her bedroom door. Ryan didn’t wait for her to reply, but the look of concern she saw on his face surprised her.

  ‘You okay, sis?’ He hung back awkwardly in the doorway. ‘Dad’s gone back out to work, but I wanted to check on you first. I’m sorry if we’ve been jerks. We didn’t think.’

  She didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or throw something at him. Maybe the trifecta. ‘How many times have I asked if I could help with seeding or harvest, help muster sheep, fill water tanks? How many times?’

  Ryan looked confused. ‘Dad pays you well enough, doesn’t he?’

  Faith felt a quick stab of guilt because yes, he did pay her reasonably well, but… ‘It’s not about the money. I want to do more with my life than house duties, milking and collecting eggs.’

  ‘Right.’ Ryan scratched his head like a confused puppy and then came to sit down beside her. ‘So what do you want to do?’

  That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?.

  For as long as Faith could remember, she’d assumed she’d work the land. It was why she’d ignored Cassie’s plea that she do something like teaching or nursing or even PR at uni and gone to ag school instead. She’d loved being at Muresk—being one of the blokes, working hard, getting dirty, drinking hard too. She loved being outdoors, could even remember a time when her father used to let her ride in the tractor with him during harvest or seeding. She couldn’t imagine any other life. Faith sat up slightly and hugged a pillow to her chest.

  When Cassie was diagnosed with cancer the world had shifted. She’d been summoned home with only six months of her degree to go—not that she’d wanted to be anywhere else, but she’d had to grow up fast. By that time her mother was already a tiny shell of the woman she’d been. It was heartbreaking. She’d fought the cancer courageously at first, going through chemotherapy and every alternative therapy under the sun, but once the disease finally took hold, she stayed close to home. None of them had liked the idea of Cassie spending her last days in a hospice, so Faith had nursed her at Forrester’s Rock till the end. She’d been there when her mother had taken her last breath, and somehow that had made the pain easier to deal with.

  She’d always been grateful for those months together. They’d talked about everything under the sun, laughed and cried as they’d reminisced about the past and spoken about a future only Faith would have. Cassie had never once complained, and Faith tried to remember that now, when things in her life sucked. At least she had life.

  But losing her mum wasn’t the only thing that had changed. In many ways, she felt like she’d lost her father too. In the years since her mum had died, Frank Forrester had become less and less communicative. He had busied himself on the farm, as if trying to outrun the memory of losing his wife. Somehow, after the first few weeks, they’d never spoken about Cassie’s death. In the beginning, Faith and Ryan had allowed him his silent misery because that was easier to put up with than talk about their mother, but now it was too late. He’d become distant and angry, someone she no longer felt she knew at all. Ryan was still a larrikin, but sadness had left its mark on him too.

  ‘Sis? Tell me.’

  Lost in her thoughts, she’d almost forgotten he was there. She felt his hand on the small of her back. When was the last time he’d reached out to her?

  She swallowed. ‘I want to be an equal on the farm, to work alongside you both. And if that’s not possible, then I want you to honestly tell me and to let me go. I’ll finish my degree and find a job that lets me use it. But I just can’t go on like this. I’m more at home in a paddock than a kitchen.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Ryan said with a small grin, ‘I think you do a pretty awesome job in both.’

  She reached out and wrapped her fingers around one of Ryan’s hands. She’d taught herself to cook when she’d needed to and had come to quite enjoy it, but baking was only fun when she didn’t have to do it. ‘Thanks for listening. I didn’t realise how trapped I was feeling until this weekend. But you have to know I’m serious about this. I can’t just sit back and let you guys walk all over me anymore.’

  Ryan winced. ‘Geez, have we been that bad?’

  She nodded. ‘But it’s as much my fault as yours. Like you said, I never made enough noise about being dissatisfied. I just let the resentment fester.’ Although she’d whinged and complained to Monty, she’d never confronted her family until today.

  ‘Do you want to come out with me now? I could use a hand with the sheep. Ty is getting a bit old and crotchety for the job.’

  ‘You’re offering me your dog’s job?’ She quirked an eyebrow at him.

  ‘Ah, damnit, I’m trying to offer an olive branch here.’

  ‘I know. Relax.’ She wiped the back of her hand against her eyes, feeling so much better after chatting with him. ‘But I’ve got plenty to do this arvo and I don’t know if dad’s going to be quite so forgiving.’

  ‘He’ll come round. I’ll talk to him. Promise.’ Ryan ruffled her hair and she whacked him one, but not hard because inwardly she was very grateful that Ryan had sought her out and sympathised.

  ‘Thanks bro. And because I’m feeling generous, I’ll make dinner tonight. But you’ll have to do the washing up.’

  Ryan shook his head as if he couldn’t believe she’d even suggest such a thing, but she caught the twinkle in his eyes and threw a pillow at his back as he heaved himself off the bed and fled out the door.

  Monty left his meeting with the local bank manager feeling as if there was no obstacle he couldn’t conquer. The moment he reached his ute, he dug his mobile phone out of his pocket and dialled Faith.

  ‘How’d you go?’ she asked by way of a greeting.

  He grinned. ‘Mr Spencer has to send my paperwork to head office, but he’s confident I’ll have pre-approval as early as Friday.’

  Faith whooped down the line. When she stopped squealing and he brought the phone back to his ear, he said, ‘I’ve done it. Dreams really can come true if you work hard enough.’

  ‘So what’s the next step?’

  ‘I’ve been talking to the real estate agent handling the Payne property. I’m going to call him in a moment and tell him it’s looking good.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so excited for you. I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day.’

  He laughed. ‘I know that feeling. Think I’m going to take the arvo off and go fishing.’

  ‘You’re what?’ Shock radiated through her words.

  ‘I know. Crazy, hey?’ He couldn’t r
ecall the last full day he’d had off work—even Sundays weren’t a day of rest in his world. ‘Wanna come?’

  ‘Do I ever.’ But then she sighed. ‘Better give it a miss today, though. I just had a run-in with Dad and I want to be around when he comes home to smooth things over. Raincheck?’

  ‘Sure.’ He bit down on the disappointment. ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Yeah, fine. Ryan and I had a really good chat actually, but I’ve kind of given Dad an ultimatum and I don’t think he expected it. I told him things have got to change and that I want more real responsibility on the farm.’

  ‘Good for you. It’s been a long time coming.’

  ‘Sorry about the fishing, but let’s celebrate when the loan’s official. What do you say?’

  ‘I say great minds think alike. How about a get-together at the pub Friday? You in?’

  ‘Yes. Definitely.’

  He climbed into his ute and slipped the key in the ignition. ‘I’m gonna ask Adam, a few mates from the boats, Curtis, Ruby, Kyle and… Anyone else you can think of?’

  ‘Can I bring Ryan?’

  ‘Uh, yeah, if you want.’ That surprised him. Ryan often came to the pub, but he tended to favour backpackers to locals when it came to company.

  She laughed. ‘I’ll talk to you before then, but it’s a date.’

  When Faith disconnected the call, Monty smiled. Victory. He’d mentioned Ruby without Faith getting her claws out. He hoped that if Ruby agreed to go out with him, Faith would give her a chance. He wanted the women in his life to get along and was damned if he knew why Faith had it in for her anyway.

  Speaking of the women in his life, it was about time he called his mum. A twinge of guilt pricked his heart. Not calling her for weeks hadn’t been intentional, but life had been busy, and he hadn’t really had anything worth reporting. Now he could phone her and give her something to make her smile. He pulled up his contact list and dialled her number.

  She answered on the second ring. ‘Daniel!’ As if he was the prodigal son and she hadn’t seen him for years.