by Barbara Lohr
“No hurry,” he assured her, his hands taking their time.
But she couldn’t. Taking their time invited thinking. Thinking opened that damned trapdoor to worrying about tomorrow.
This could be another Ethan all over again.
She pulled away, reaching down to scoop up her shirt.
“Vanessa?” Alex pushed himself up on his elbows.
“I can’t, Alex,” she whispered, stumbling to her feet. “Sorry, but I just can’t.”
In the darkness, she heard the thick rasp of his breath. “Why?”
“It’s just not…right.” How lame was that? But she sure wasn’t going to admit she was chicken. She just couldn’t dash into the center of the highway one more time and wait to be hit. Why had she even started this? They had to work together. She began backing toward the door. “Look, it’s too late to take me home. I’m texting Jillian so she knows I’m safe. I’ll just take the guest room, okay?”
God, now he was the one who looked like a traffic casualty. “S…sure. I guess. We can talk tomorrow.”
“Right. Goodnight.”
When she slipped between the sheets in the guestroom, her body still surged with desire.
This sucked, but she couldn’t do a one night stand with a guy who was her mentor. The thought of a relationship made her crazy. She didn’t know if she’d make it through being dumped by a man again.
Finally, the sound of quiet waves stroking the shore lulled her to sleep.
~.~
When Alex woke up the following morning, he felt like he’d been beat up pretty bad. Then he remembered why.
Damn it to hell. He sat bolt upright in bed. Aggravated as hell, he threw on some clothes and stomped out into the hallway. Then he pulled up short, sniffed and smiled. His heartbeat settled.
Bacon. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all. He hoofed down the stairs in his bare feet. “Good morning.”
Dressed in one of Kate’s oversized blue shirts and cutoffs, Vanessa looked sexy as hell. Taking what looked like bacon out of the microwave, she frowned. “I have to get going, Alex.”
He looked at the clock. Was he really up at seven-thirty? “It's still early.”
“Bo gets up around seven. And the bakery's busy on weekends. What would you like for breakfast?”
“You don’t have to cook for me. Cereal’s fine.” He reached for the bran flakes, while she poured two glasses of juice. Vanessa definitely was a mom. Settling onto a stool at the breakfast bar, he enjoyed watching her, hands zinging around his kitchen like forward passes. The bacon was crisp, just the way he liked it.
But all he could think about was those hands on him last night…and his frustration after she left for the guest room. He’d never been with a woman so eager to leave. Baffled, he shoveled in the bran flakes and gulped some orange juice.
“Sorry to rush you, but I really have to get home.” Her lips barely moved.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“No time.” Closing the box of cereal, she tucked it back in the cupboard. The OJ disappeared next.
“You sleep all right?”
“Fine, thank you.” Eyes bleak, she studied the slate counter.
“Everything okay?”
“Yep. Fine. I just want to…have to get home.”
“Got it.” Setting his juice down, he grabbed his keys. “Ready?”
“I’ll get my dress.”
Ten minutes later, they were headed for Chicago. Vanessa stared out the window. A hollow feeling grew in Alex's gut, like he hadn’t eaten in days. From time to time, she tapped out a message on her phone.
“Everything all right on the home front?” God, she was so damn tense. Maybe she’d had bad news from Jillian.
She thumbed her phone like it was a magic ball. Her bleak expression gave him chills. “Fine. Everything's just fine.”
“Vanessa, it’s okay about last night. I don’t get it, but don’t worry about it.”
“It was probably foolish to come out here anyway.”
Okay, now he felt stupid. And he hated to feel stupid. “I was glad you came. But I don’t understand what happened.”
He caught the shimmy of her shoulders. “I guess every woman has her favorite mistake.”
Shock just about gave him a heart attack, like the time his father told him a career in technology didn’t meet family standards. “Wait a minute. I'm your mistake?”
“Don’t take it personally.”
“Are you kidding me? Who else is sitting in the car?” Trucks roared past, and he could feel the pull of the draft. Keeping his eyes on the road became a challenge.
“It's me, not you.” The hitch in her voice hooked his heart. “I just fall back into bad habits…with you.”
Dammit to hell.
No way was he going to be a mistake in her mind.
Chapter 12
“Sorry I'm so late.” Vanessa burst into the kitchen, dress draped over her arm. Breathless, she’d taken the steps two at a time. Thank goodness Grandpa and Christine had been busy in the storefront with Sunday morning customers when she’d come in. Talk about a walk of shame.
“Relax. Not a problem.” Jillian sat in the kitchen with Bo. He was pressing his finger down on Cheerios as he ate them, one at a time.
“Mommy!” Cereal scattered when his arms flew out, like she’d been gone for a month.
Scooping up her sleep-mussed little boy, she drank in his sweet toddler scent. “I could eat you up!”
Bo squirmed away, giggling, and Vanessa slid him back into the high chair. “Really, Jillian. I am so sorry.”
“How was the gala?”
“Fine, but I’d hoped to be home by the time Bo got up.” Vanessa opened the refrigerator, but she really wasn’t thirsty or hungry. Closing the refrig, she slipped into a chair across from Jillian.
“We’re both adults. Between my illness and Grandpa’s eye problems, you haven't had time for anything else.” Jillian's gaze swung to Bo, who was trying to balance a Cheerio on the end of his nose.
“With the money from Alex and Jack, we’ll be able to hire extra help.”
“Thank goodness.” Relief eased Jillian’s features. “With the advertorial running, the orders have really picked up. To complicate matters, one of my clients has an open house this month.”
“Just holler if you need help.” The activity would keep Vanessa's mind busy. After last night, she needed busy.
~.~
Over the next couple of weeks, orders continued to climb. Her small online ad for part-time help brought a slew of calls, and she finally decided on two college girls. Elise was majoring in home economics, a natural for the morning baking shift. Cindy’s marketing background made her a good fit for the website, charting orders and filling them in a timely manner. Since they had different class schedules, Vanessa would cross train them.
Although Alex called almost every day after the gala, she put him off.
“Business is really picking up,” she told him, finally answering his third call. After all, he was her mentor. She couldn’t totally brush him off.
“Glad to hear that.” He paused. “How about lunch? I’ll drive out and pick you up.”
Her stomach clenched. “Gosh, I can’t, Alex. Grandpa needs me here.”
“Look, I know you’re busy, but I’d like to see you.” His voice had dropped from business neutral to a low pitch that affected her body like a hot stone massage.
“Alex, that's probably not a good idea. The business situation we’re involved in…all of that.”
His silence rang with disapproval.
Right after she’d ended the call, McKenna’s name popped up on her phone. Another person Vanessa had been avoiding.
“Okay, spill,” her friend demanded when Vanessa picked up. “This thing with Alex is more than business, right?”
“No. Not really.” So tempting to come clean about Vegas, but maybe later. “Alex is…my mentor.”
“Yeah, right.” Finally McKenna g
ave up, and they ended the call. Vanessa felt terrible.
Losing herself in the bakery brought some relief. For once, she was grateful for the lack of modern conveniences. Washing baking pans until her shoulders ached quieted her mind. Days passed. Alex’s calls became less frequent. Was he backing off? His silence provided an oasis of relief. It also carved a hole in her heart.
July Fourth came, bringing a flurry of colorful banners to the downtown streets of Oak Park. Jillian and Vanessa took Bo to the fireworks. Cool weather had visited Chicago, a relief after the torrid start of the summer. Lying on the blanket staring up at the night sky, Vanessa delighted in Bo’s excitement while the explosions resonated in her chest, as tumultuous as her life.
After the holiday, ninety-degree days descended with a vengeance. One afternoon, Vanessa sat reviewing figures with Cindy, one of the new employees made possible by the Tigers’ support.
“The advertorial is really pumping up the numbers,” Cindy said, scrolling through the spreadsheet and hitting a button. “Here’s the printout.”
“Thank goodness.” Taking the report, Vanessa dropped into the old chair. The jagged lines of the chart kept her thinking about business instead of Alex. Setting the papers aside, she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of bread and chocolate cake. Randall’s Bakery, especially the whipped cream cakes, was going to get them back on their feet.
After Cindy left for her summer school class, Vanessa heard the back door open. Seated at the computer, she didn’t turn around. “Did you forget something?”
“Damn right.”
Her heart stalled, and she wheeled around. Alex stood outlined by sunlight as he pulled the door closed behind him. “You should lock this door.”
“The new girl must have left it open.”
“Thought I'd stop by. I was in the neighborhood.”
“Shorts, huh? Must be business casual day.” She pulled her eyes from the hips that had felt so trim in her hands.
“You got it. Casual day.” He kept coming.
In his blue polo shirt and khaki shorts, Alex looked so cool, like nothing every ruffled him. She knew different. The urge to bury her hands in his thick hair scared her senseless.
Trailing one hand lightly over the work table, he paced toward her, flip flops slapping the bottoms of his feet. She gripped the arms of her computer chair. His lips tilted into a cautious smile, and her skin broke into goose bumps. Then his steps slowed. For just a second, he was Bo when he thought he might be in trouble. “Is it okay if I stop by?”
“Aren't you my business partner?” The words came slowly, like a heavy barrier she had to shove into place.
“Yeah, but I just meant, after the gala…”
Hot, dry air had wafted in behind him. She licked her lips. “Everything’s okay, Alex. We have to put that night behind us.” Like Vegas. She blew a tendril from her cheek. Lordy, she was such a mess. His eyes said it didn’t matter.
“Why didn’t you take my calls?”
“It's just so busy.”
“That's a good thing, right?” He looked around. “Your little boy’s upstairs?”
She nodded. At least Alex didn't call Bo her “kid” anymore.
Leaning against the counter, Alex crossed his arms over his chest with a perplexed look that made her nervous. Shivers skittered up her spine, amazing in the July heat.
“Vanessa, I'd like to think that night of the gala meant something.”
A guy was saying this? Alex almost looked embarrassed.
She swallowed. “We probably should keep our relationship on a business level.” I’d like to avoid another four-year case of Crushing Heartache.
Was it her imagination or did her lips swell as he studied them? Was it business to imagine palming that rough hint of beard on his chin? She balled her hands into tight fists in her lap.
Pushing off from the counter, Alex kept coming. She struggled to her feet. His hands opened like he was reaching for something, and his chest rose and fell with restrained breaths. A couple more steps and she could see the perspiration dotting his upper lip. Her breath caught when he trailed one finger down the side of her cheek. A tremor followed that finger.
The man could reduce her to a quivering mess.
The air in the work room hung heavy with the aroma of bread, cakes, and pastries. Her hunger had nothing to do with any of those.
God, she wanted him so bad and waited for the next delicious assault.
“Look, Vanessa, I respect your need to keep our relationship on a business level…”
“We have no relationship, Alex. That night at the beach shouldn’t have happened.” Even to her, the words sounded like a lie.
Pulling her into his arms, Alex slowly and methodically kissed her forehead, her cheekbones, then her lips. She drank him in. Didn’t resist. Couldn’t.
“I don’t believe you. Damn it, forget about business,” he whispered.
“I can't.” She flattened her palms against his chest so they wouldn't wind around his neck.
Leaning his damp forehead against hers, he murmured, “How do you stand this heat?”
“I stay away from hot men.”
Chuckling softly, he tongued her lips, and, darn it, they opened like they belonged to some hussy. His invasion was soft and sweet. Her wall began to crumble again and she should have shored it up, pronto.
Instead, her body waved a white flag of surrender.
Hips resting against the counter, Alex snugged Vanessa close. His arousal prodded her thigh, and okay, she was undulating just a bit.
Maybe she should find an online course on self-control.
“Still your favorite mistake?” he murmured.
“Oh, yeah.” With a sigh, she nibbled on his lower lip. He groaned.
“Not happy about that?”
“Not really.” God help her, she tightened her arms around his neck like a crazed morning glory vine.
With an impatient groan, Alex tugged her white t-shirt out of the low rise waistband of her worn cut-offs. His palms were cool against her back, but she stayed feverish. Cupping her breasts, he lightly thumbed super-sensitive nipples that had already been given the green light. She moaned.
The sound of Jillian singing “Old McDonald Had a Farm” jerked them apart. Tugging down her t-shirt, Vanessa pressed both hands against her flaming cheeks.
~.~
Alex's heart galloped like he’d been shooting hoops for about an hour. He’d just stopped in to check on her. Made him crazy when she didn’t answer her phone. But, damn. He couldn't be around this woman without wanting her. And she seemed to be of the same mind, so what was the problem?
Jillian poked her head in the doorway. “Hey, Alex. Didn't know you were here.” She glanced from Alex to Vanessa, and a small smile danced across her face. Vanessa's older sister was no idiot.
They probably looked like teenagers caught in the backseat of the family car. Bo cuddled against Jillian’s chest, curly hair a sweaty mess and digging his fists into his eyes. “Mommy?”
Vanessa's arms were already open.
“Too hot,” the little guy complained, pulling on his yellow shirt that said Mommy’s Angel.
“Mommy’s sorry.” Vanessa pressed her lips against his forehead as she took him. Then her concern shifted to Jillian. “You look tired too, sweetie.”
Rings shadowed Jillian's blue eyes. The entire family seemed to have eyes that could have dropped from the sky. Except for Bo. His eyes were deep brown, like chocolate. That’s how his mother used to describe Alex's eyes…melting chocolate chip eyes.
With a mysterious smile, Jillian headed back toward the stairs. “Think I'll get a little bit more shuteye.”
“Good idea.” Vanessa jiggled Bo in her arms. The door closed. “How about a little juice for you, mister? Cool you off.”
In the corner hummed an old refrigerator. Opening the door, Vanessa grabbed a sippy cup. Sippy cup. Amazing that he remembered. Vanessa and Bo settled into the chair in the cor
ner. Alex took a seat on one of the stools, feeling very much like an unwelcome visitor.
“I've got a great idea. Why don't we head for the beach? We can grill hot dogs, and Bo can play in the water.” He should have anticipated Vanessa's frown, especially after her recent trip to the beach house.
Time to redeem himself. Time to prove he could keep his hands off her for one frigging day.
He sure hoped he was up to the challenge.
“Oh, I don't know.” Her fingers smoothed the curls from her little boy’s forehead.
“Bo can play in the sand, splash in the shallow water.”
“Water?” Juice forgotten, Bo nailed his mom with those big brown eyes.
Alex swallowed a chuckle. Oh yeah, he was going to work this.
“Well, well. Was that door left unlocked again?” Grandpa Joe had ambled in.
Jumping up, Alex reached out a hand. “Guess I’m like a bad habit. You can’t get rid of me.”
The older man’s hand was calloused but still strong. Grandpa Joe seemed pretty cool, and Alex sensed another ally. “I was just trying to convince your granddaughter to take a trip to the beach.”
Grandpa Joe looked at Vanessa with open affection. “Sounds good, Nessie. You’ve been working too hard.”
Vanessa’s frown eased. “Okay, but I'll drive myself.”
“Not a problem. Why don't I watch Bo while you throw some things in a bag?” To his own amazement, Bo came willingly, dark eyes never leaving Alex’s face while he worked that sippy cup.
Clearly flustered, Vanessa grabbed some papers from the desk. “You might want to take a look at these numbers. I'll go up and get our swimsuits. Okay if I ask Jillian if she wants to come?”
“Absolutely.” Alex settled into the chair still warm from Vanessa’s body. After a few audible gulps, Bo began to trail his fingers along Alex’s forearm. It tickled. Grandpa went back to the store front.
When Vanessa reappeared with the beach bag and some towels, she’d changed into a pink t-shirt. She should always wear pink.
“Jillian wants to rest,” she told Alex.
“Maybe next time.”
“Want to go bye-bye?” Vanessa asked Bo.