“What is it?” Clarabelle pressed. “What have people been saying?”
James sighed. “It’s nothing you should bother yourself with, Clarabelle.”
“I want to know, though.”
“There have just been some stupid rumors.”
“What are they?”
James stroked her cheek before answering. “Some stupid rumor about you sleeping with Tiffany’s ex-boyfriend. And giving a blowjob to Stephanie’s ex-boyfriend.”
Clarabelle was silent.
“I told you not to bother with them,” James repeated.
“What do you say to these rumors?”
“I say, fuck them.”
“What if I tell you they’re true?”
“I still say fuck them. They have no right to be talking about it, whether they are true or not.”
Clarabelle reached up to kiss her boyfriend.
“You’re amazing,” she told him.
When James saw Clarabelle again, it was two days later. He had been quite concerned about his girlfriend since she had completely disappeared for two days, making excuses so as not to see him. He assumed she was going through a tough time because of Paige and the whole University talking about their relationship, so he didn’t insist on seeing her. When he finally did get ahold of her, she looked miserable. It wasn’t obvious on the outside. Her makeup was impeccable as always, her hair was pulled up in a neat ponytail held together by a clip that matched her carefully picked a dress. But James knew his girlfriend well enough to tell when she was faking it.
“Are you okay?”
“What makes you think I’m not?”
“Um, just the general disposition.”
“James, I…” she paused. Then, taking a deep breath, she blurted out, “I slept with Ben.”
James was silent.
“I cheated on you,” she said.
“I kind of gauged that when you said you slept with Ben.”
“I’m so sorry, James. I’m so sorry. Paige was right, maybe. That I was built for these relationships. That I can never be with one person. Maybe that’s just beyond me. I’m not proud of it, but maybe I can’t help it.”
James stared at her, unable to say anything.
“What… I mean… I just don’t get it. Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know, James,” Clarabelle said. “I guess… I guess I was craving my old lifestyle. I was craving the lifestyle where I had no restrictions.”
James ran a hand through his hair. “You’re – you’re not even sorry?”
“I am sorry, James!” Clarabelle said, and she sounded it too. James could tell she was upset about it.
“But?”
“But nothing, James. It happened, and I’m being honest with you. I don’t know what came over me but… but I don’t trust myself anymore. I just think that… that this could happen again and –”
“You’re not even going to say it was a mistake?”
“What if I did?”
“I’d forgive you. And we could move past this and fix it.”
Clarabelle was taken aback. “Don’t you… I mean… aren’t you even slightly relieved that our relationship is over?”
“No,” James said aghast. “I like you. Why would I be relieved?”
“I thought you might have missed your freedom.”
James ran a hand through his hair again. He couldn’t think straight. He didn’t even properly feel angry or sad yet. He only felt tired. Weeks of handling Clarabelle and Paige and Alicia had left him feeling exhausted with his relationships.
“Clarabelle, I didn’t miss my freedom. That’s not how a relationship works. You must let go of certain parts of your life in order to settle into a different life. I just… why didn’t you tell me if you felt so suffocated? We could’ve worked things out.”
“How?” Clarabelle asked. She had tears in her eyes now. “How? I hate the fact that I might have hurt you, James. I hate it. But… but at that moment, I thought I couldn’t help it… not then and not ever. It just felt so right, you know?”
“Cheating on me felt so right?”
“No. No, no, no. You’re putting words in my mouth.”
“That’s what you meant.”
“I just meant that the freedom felt so right.”
James stared at her and then shook his head.
“We’ll – we’ll talk about this later. I need to think,” he told her. And what killed her later, as she thought about it, was the fact that he didn’t look broken or sad but only disappointed. His disappointment is what haunted her later.
Chapter Eight
Alicia woke up in the morning and suddenly, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She had to get it out of her, and she had to do it now. She had been hiding her feelings for way too long and it was killing her. Restlessly, she waited for Jane to wake up before dropping the bomb on her.
“I’m in love with James Carter,” she blurted out the moment Jane came out of her room.
“What?” Jane said, confused. She laughed. “What has gotten into you this morning?”
Jane wasn’t taking this seriously. “Have you had breakfast yet?” she said, strolling into the kitchen.
“Jane,” Alicia said. “I’m telling you a revelation, and you’re worried about breakfast?”
Jane sighed. “You’re in love with James Carter?”
“Yes.”
She sat down on the sofa next to Alicia. “I know.”
“What? W-what do you mean? Has it been that obvious? Does that mean James knows too? Oh my God –”
“Calm down. I know because I’ve been observing you around him. I doubt James knows. He doesn’t even know Paige likes him and practically the whole world knows.”
“What am I to do, Jane?”
“Tell him.”
“He’s with Clarabelle.”
“Tell him anyway.”
“It’s wrong.”
“Nothing is right or wrong. It’s just how you feel. And who knows? He might reciprocate still.”
“You think so?”
“You never know,” Jane said.
And so, Alicia found herself outside James’ house, waiting for him to join her. He did so, looking sleepy (and extremely sexy) in his pajamas with his hair ruffled up.
“Everything okay?” he asked. “I just woke up.”
“Let’s go for a drive.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
“Want to go to my resort?” he asked. James’ family owned a chain of resorts in the outskirts of the city.
She didn’t have to think twice. “Yes.”
Spread out on the private beach, hidden behind clusters of trees, they were back where they had spent hours upon hours the previous year. James had built this place especially for himself, and he hadn’t brought many people here. It was normally his secret place, but with Alicia, it was different. They were sitting on the dock with their legs hanging off and dipping into the water.
“What did you want to talk about?” James asked.
“Can’t I ask you to meet without wanting to talk about something?”
James smiled. “You can.”
They were silent.
“James,” Alicia said.
“Yeah?”
“I did want to talk about something.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I don’t know how to start but remember how… how, once upon a time, you… you used to like me?”
“Hmm,” James replied.
“And I know that you’re over me and that you gave me ample time to reciprocate your feelings.”
James looked up at her, and she noticed with dismay that he looked extremely oblivious to what she was hinting or where she was heading.
“I’m not doing this right,” she said. She was nervous now and blabbering.
James frowned. “Alicia, calm down. What is it? Did I do something back then that you didn’t like?”
“No. No, no, no. This isn’t
about that.”
“Then what is it?” He reached out and placed a comforting hand on her jittery one. “You can tell me. We’ll work it out.”
“James, I love you,” she blurted out. And suddenly, she felt like a burden she had been carrying around had been lifted from her chest. It didn’t matter what his reply would be. At least he knew and whatever he would say next is something she need not worry about at this moment.
He was silent. His hand still rested on hers, and she could feel the warmth on her colder one.
“Um,” he replied. “Alicia…”
Alicia started speaking very fast then. She felt like if she held back now, she would never be able to say all the things she wanted to say to him. “I know it’s too late for me. I know you don’t fancy me anymore. I know you’re with Clarabelle. But I just need you to know that I regret every time I said no to you. That if I could go back, I would say yes a billion times. That I was too late to realize my feelings for you. And I know that I have no right to be telling you something like this especially since you have Clarabelle now. It’s not fair at all. But I’m not asking for anything in return. I just – I just needed to let you know. I’ll bury it forever after this. It’s not fair to Clarabelle or to you.”
“Alicia, calm down,” he said. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears which made her turn her face towards him. “I’m not with Clarabelle anymore,” he told her. “We broke up two days ago.”
Their lips were very close now.
“Why?” Alicia asked.
“She said she missed her freedom,” James said.
Close enough for her to kiss him. Slowly, they both moved forward, and their lips met in a hesitant, sweet kiss. Guilt died at the back of her head as his hands tangled with hers and they struggled to gain dominance in the kiss. When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard.
“I want you,” Alicia said.
“I want you too,” James replied. “But-”
“We always said this resort was one place we could be ourselves, no matter how terrible, no matter how misunderstood by the rest of the world. Nothing gets out here. Please.”
He didn’t have to think twice. Feet still dipped in the water, their bodies wound around each other’s, kissing and caressing and whispering.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for three years,” he told her between kisses.
“You turn me on when you say stuff like that,” she whispered, pressing kisses to the corners of his mouth.
There was a spark between them and Alicia could do nothing to stop herself. She was kissing him again and soon; their hands and bodies were tangled.
He stood up and helped her up too. The dock they were sitting on met with the warm, golden sand which had a blanket spread out already. Once they were on the blanket, they kneeled on it, exchanging excited kisses.
He laid her down gently, pulling off the items of her clothing one by one until she was almost naked. The sun shone down on her pale skin, softly glowing off her hair. She looked even more beautiful than she normally did. When they were, both stripped down, the only items of clothing on their bodies were her bra and his underwear. He slid down to her legs and grabbed her ankles, pulling her legs open. She whimpered in anticipation as she realized what he was about to do.
His lips left light kissed from her knees till her inner thighs. Alicia let out soft gasps as he continued to tease her inner thighs.
“Come on,” she said in frustration which made him smile. His tongue gently started to enter her. She let out a gasp at the slow, sensual movements. Her eyes closed and her hands gripped the duvet. She could feel the sand underneath it. He licked gently, dipping his tongue in and out of her. She withered in frustration as he gave her what she wanted but quickly withdrew, then gave it again and withdrew again.
“Don’t torture me,” she begged. He sucked her clit gently, and she let out a cry of pleasure, gasping to steady her breathing.
“Faster,” she managed to stammer. His mouth worked, sucking her clit and making her cry out again and again. Her breathing was short, and she was afraid she will pass out with the pleasure.
“Hold me down,” he pleaded which drove her crazy. She grabbed his hair and held him in place as he finished off.
They both lay on the mat, staring at the bright sun shining down on them.
“How did that feel?” he asked.
“Heavenly.”
He kissed her bare arms, licking all the way to her shoulders and then her neck. Her breasts were caressed and kissed. She was breathing heavily by the time he took her nipples between his lips and sucked. When she felt his teeth graze, she gasped. Her nipple was taken between his teeth. Her hands fisted the sand again, desperately trying to find something to hold on to. He repeated the same exercise with her other breast.
“I need you,” she whimpered again. “Please, James.”
He positioned himself at her entrance and begun to push in slowly. He wasn’t sure what pace she enjoyed so he had to be extra careful. He pushed inside, and the slowness of his movements increased the friction between them, making her moan. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He buried his head into her neck, and she felt him nibble at it softly. The warm sun shone down on their bodies, making them sweat. His extremely close and slow movements increased the temperature ever more. She could feel bits of sand clinging to her skin where it must have flown with the light breeze.
He moved inside her very slowly.
“Go faster,” she told him.
He increased his pace but kept it gentle, not wanting to hurt her in any way.
“Faster please,” she said again.
He felt her walls constrict against him, causing a new friction. He groaned at the sensation. She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. They were both breathing hard. His thrusts were heavy but gentle at the same time which drove her crazy. How did this man manage the perfect balance between heavy and slow, fast and gentle?
“I’m close,” she told him.
“Me too.”
She clung to him tightly as they both rode out their highs and then he collapsed on top of her. He rolled off her, and they both lay under the bright sun, but none of them said a word. They were too speechless. Their fingers entwined as they lay and she brought the tangled hand up to her front, placing it on top of her chest, underneath her chin. His thumb traced her chin, making small circles.
“Are you okay?” he asked her.
“Are you?”
“I’ve never been better.”
“Neither have I.”
“I’ve wanted to do that for years now.”
“I’ve wanted to do that since the first day of this semester.”
“Is that when you realized you like me?”
“Yeah… about two seconds before I saw you kiss Clarabelle.”
“I’m sorry,” James said.
“No, I deserved it. I deserved it for all the times I brutally turned you down. I needed some of this too. You gave me too much of an ego boost by paying me attention all the time. You and others too. This was more like a reality check.”
James kissed the top of her head.
“Why did you and Clarabelle broke up?”
“She slept with someone else because she missed her freedom.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “She slept with Ben. And the worst part is, she expected me to be happy too… happy that it’s finally over. She said she felt some sort of relief. She’s a nice girl, but I suppose she was never ready for a relationship. I know because I was like that too.”
“And what are you like now?”
“I try to be someone who’s good enough to be seen with you.”
She touched his cheek softly and reached up to kiss him again, pressing her lips and her naked body against him. It felt good to be able to do this.
Chapter Nine
It wasn’t until the next day when Alicia heard Clarabelle talking on the phone, that sh
e realized what she had done wrong. Clarabelle was telling her friend the whole scene of her confession to James about sleeping with Ben. She seemed to think her and James were on some sort of break now and would soon reconcile and start dating again because she realized that he liked her a lot after he said that he would forgive her if she says it was a mistake. She still seemed conflicted about whether she should go back to James or enjoy her usual freedom.
Of one thing Alicia was sure: If Clarabelle finds out that about the events of the previous morning, she would not be too happy.
Liam and Blake had invited Alicia and her friends to their house party that night which she was looking forward to attending for lack of seeing the two boys all week but given the events of the previous day, she decided she would rather skip it than to put herself through the torture of facing James and the guilt of facing Clarabelle. Her plans were short-lived, though, when Blake showed up at her doorsteps to pick up all the girls.
Hannah and Jane excitedly greeted him, and they were soon immersed in a conversation when Mia arrived. Blake noticed that she looked much better than she had looked earlier.
“Alright, Mia?” he asked.
“Hi Blake,” she replied. “Are we ready to go?”
“You seem excited,” Blake commented sarcastically. “How are you taking the… the…”
“The incident where the lying bastard cheated on me with that absolute bitch in the entrance hall in front of the whole university?”
“Triggered,” Blake replied. “Sorry,” he said to the rest of the girls in the room. “If it makes you feel better, though,” he turned towards Mia again, “he’s not allowed to enter the house party.”
“Don’t let Paige come either.”
“I won’t if I can help it,” Blake said.
The rest of the girls went about with last minute preparations while Alicia hung around with Blake.
“Are you going to come to the party in that hoodie?”
“Is that a problem?”
He shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind.”
“I’m not going to the party.”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t feel like it.”
“You’re coming whether you like it or not. That is not a good enough reason to ditch our plans of catching up.”
The Campus Jock: A College Bad Boy Romance Page 5