Duet on Fire

by Brenda Barrett

  She drew closer to Ian and overheard him.

  "Yes, Mommy. You heard right: Ruby is pregnant. Three months, to be exact."

  Sue-Ann's heart lurched uncomfortably.

  She passed him and went into the office. She wanted to stand there and listen to every word, but she had moved inside instead. She felt sick to her stomach.

  So, Ruby was finally pregnant again. She drummed her fingers on the reception desk. She felt weird, jealous, and unsettled. She had hoped that Ruby would never be able to conceive. She had everything, including Rory's love; why should she have a baby as well? Funny, how Ruby was pregnant just when she moved to Montego Bay. Was it some bid to make her feel even worse about herself and her life?

  Three months pregnant. Sue-Ann's fingers drummed on the counter impatiently. Three months ago Rory had returned from Trelawny after a wedding and had stared at her and said, "It's over!" No preamble, no discussion. He hadn't even hesitated in resigning his job.

  Her mind couldn't settle with that kind of coincidence. She told the lady at the front desk her concerns about her car and vaguely listened to her response.

  She was itching for information. Ian said that Ruby was three months pregnant. She didn't care that she eavesdropped on his conversation. She mumbled to the girl, "Give me a minute," and headed through the door.

  Ian was talking to another guy in garage overalls. When the guy walked away. Sue-Ann cleared her throat. "Hi Ian?" She smiled uncertainly.

  Ian spun around and nodded. "Hello. Sue-Ann, right?"

  "Yes," Sue-Ann said hesitantly. "I was curious about something."

  Ian pushed his hands in his pockets. He was looking at her distrustfully.

  Sue-Ann gathered her courage; he looked so imposing. "I was wondering, I mean I know that Ruby does events—I mean she arranges them?"

  Ian nodded. His shoulders were still tense, though.

  "Does she do weddings?" Sue-Ann asked, feeling almost fearful to hear his reply.

  "Yes," Ian said. "I thought you were already married?" He cracked a smile.

  Sue-Ann couldn't even move her lips in response. "Did she do a wedding in Trelawny around November?"

  Ian frowned. "Why are you asking?"

  Sue-Ann moved her hand to her mouth. No, Rory wouldn't have slept with Ruby. He wouldn't. Not when he had looked at her in disgust and literally accused her of being immoral because she had asked him if he had slept with Ruby.

  Sue-Ann swallowed. There was a stinging behind her eyes. "That's about the time my husband came home and announced that we were through. He was the official pastor for a wedding in Trelawny. He stayed there overnight and when he got home, things were much different."

  Ian stiffened. His eyes seemed as if they were burning a hole in her head. They didn't waver. He was looking at her as if transfixed, as if he was thinking a million things at once and had to be absolutely still to process them.

  He didn't say a word.

  "Was Ruby at a wedding in Trelawny in November?" she asked hoarsely. She waited, watching Ian's lips with anxiety.

  It seemed like an eternity passed before he said with a sigh, "Yes. She did a wedding in November, at Cascade in Trelawny."

  "And she stayed overnight too, didn't she?" Sue-Ann whispered.

  Ian nodded. "Yes, she did stay overnight."

  Sue-Ann's eyes welled with tears. She found it surprising because she had thought that she was all cried out.

  "Well, this sucks," she said to Ian, wiping her eyes.

  "Are you Mrs. Panton with the red Honda?" A young man tapped her on the shoulder.

  She spun around. "Yes... er... yes," Sue-Ann said.

  "The front office said you had some issue with your transmission?"

  Sue-Ann nodded. "I guess so. Give me a minute." She turned around to further commiserate with Ian, maybe hint to him that Ruby was not to be trusted, but he was no longer behind her. She looked around for him. Where had he gone?

  Chapter Twenty

  Ian tapped his hand on the steering wheel as he pulled into traffic. Livid—the word jumped into his mind. He knew the meaning of the word. He had seen it several times in books when he had taken the time to read. He knew it had five letters, but never before had he actually felt it.

  The emotion was so intense that he actually had to take deep gulping breaths to dislodge the physical tightening that he was feeling in his chest.

  His hands were trembling and his head felt like it was going to explode. His phone rang and he pressed it. Thankfully he had it set to hands free, because he didn't think anger, driving, and answering a cell phone was a good combination.

  "Yes," he said, his voice clipped even to his own ears. He sounded hostile.

  "Whoa," Carson said. "What's wrong? You were waiting for me at the front office and then you took off. Aren't you coming to practice again?"

  Ian gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Carson, now is not a good time to talk."

  "You were happier earlier," Carson said. "You said you had good news."

  Ian slapped the steering wheel. Luckily he had stopped at a traffic light.

  "Talk to me," Carson urged.

  "Ruby is pregnant," Ian said. He was amazed that his voice didn't crack.

  Carson paused. "And?"

  "And," Ian said laughing mirthlessly, "it's by that guy, Rory."

  Carson drew in his breath. "Ian, please come back to the garage."

  "No," Ian was shaking his head. "No. I am going home."

  Carson was pleading now. "Ian, please. I beg you, come back. You can't be alone with Ruby now! You need to cool off!"

  "What do you think I am going to do," Ian asked jerkily, "kill her? Do you think I am going to squeeze her lying little neck between my fingers and watch as she loses breath?"

  "How far are you from the garage?" Carson asked, worry evident in his voice because he realized that Ian had described strangling Ruby with too much enjoyment.

  The red mist around his eyes cleared somewhat. Carson was right. He couldn't go home feeling like this. He would probably end up doing something too terrible for words. He was on the verge of losing reason.

  "I am coming back now," he almost whispered.

  "I am not getting off the phone until I see your vehicle in the parking lot," Carson said, relief evident in his voice. "Drive carefully."

  "I can't do anything else," Ian murmured. "The traffic is crazy heavy."

  *****

  He pulled up at the garage six minutes later. Carson hadn't gotten off the phone but he hadn't said a thing to him, either. Ian appreciated that. He parked the truck in the private parking lot at the entrance to the band area.

  His head suddenly felt heavy, as if there were too many thoughts in there and too many negative emotions. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him. In the space of one day, he had learned that he was going to be a father and then just like that, his feelings of euphoria were dashed. A miracle had turned into a nightmare, at least for him. He had to stop himself from thinking too much about Ruby and Rory together. He couldn't bear to think of her being unfaithful. It literally hurt him, like a live pain in his chest area.

  Whenever the thought crossed his mind he felt like hitting something. He couldn't think about her lying to him just now. He rested his head on the steering wheel in defeat.

  He wasn't surprised when the passenger door was opened.

  But when the back doors were also opened, he figured that all of his friends were in the truck.

  "What's the story?" Logan's calm, cool voice asked behind him.

  Ian murmured. "It all started on October, when I did a sperm test and it came back irregular. The doctor speculated that I was infertile but he did say people with my problem had a remote chance of being able to impregnate a woman."

  He laughed harshly. "No, wait." He lifted up his head and looked around at his friends. "It all started back in high school when Ruby had a boyfriend named Rory, our most recent pastor, who left his wife a couple of we
eks ago. Or it started in college when her housemate Sue-Ann tricked her into miscarrying because she wanted Rory for herself. I don't know where it started," he finally conceded, "but I do know it all ends today. This minute. My marriage is over. Done."

  "Have you talked to Ruby?" Aaron asked in the silence.

  "What's there for her to say?" Ian asked savagely. "What is there to say in this scenario?"

  "Talk to her." Aaron urged. "Hear her side of the story before you do anything rash."

  "No," Ian growled. "What is there to understand, Aaron? She's pregnant; I am sterile. She stayed in Trelawny with her lover from college three months ago. She is three months pregnant. I am not into torture, you know. I don't want to hear details. I don't want to dwell on all of this. Right now I'd really prefer if I never see her again. Because if I do, I am going to lose it."

  Carson touched him on the shoulder.

  Jayce's hand followed, along with a heartfelt sigh.

  "Want to come back to my place?" Carson asked softly.

  "Nah," Ian said. "I might just crash here for tonight and then tomorrow I’ll find somewhere closer to the Palm Tree site. Life goes on. I am not the first man to be blindsided like this and I know I won't be the last."

  "I still think you should talk to her," Aaron said, "at least over the phone."

  Ian grunted. "I just might, but not now. Now I want to get my bearings."

  *****

  Ian waited until the guys left. He had gone to his truck for his overnight bag that he usually carried around with him. He had his toothbrush in the bag, and clean clothes for tomorrow. He also grabbed his phone charger and then went upstairs. It was the first time that he was in the warehouse alone. He felt a deep, raw loneliness and a sense of betrayal so deep he found it hard not to feel weakened by it.

  His phone rang at twelve, while he was lying on the single bed looking up at the rafters.

  He answered tersely. "What?"

  "Ian, where are you?" Ruby asked, a tremor in her voice.

  "Did you sleep with Rory in November at Cascade Cove?" he asked, a bite to his voice.

  Ruby gasped.

  "I thought so," Ian said. His voice was as cold as his insides were feeling. "Why did you do it, Ruby?"

  Ruby started crying, big gulping sobs, and he listened. The little ray of hope that he had been holding onto, that maybe he was overreacting, died.

  She was incoherent and he hung up the phone. He stared at the walls of the room, his eyes stinging and his heart hurting.

  *****

  Ruby curled up on Ian's side of the bed, clutching his pillow. Half of it was wet and her head was hurting with a dull pounding ache that forced her to close her puffy eyes in defeat. She was the lowest of the low—a cheating wife with another man's baby. Never in a million years would she have imagined that this was going to be her fate in life. She would never have imagined that she would be crying her heart out when she had finally gotten the chance to be pregnant again. She was feeling shattered and miserable. The uncomfortable feeling that had dogged her steps ever since Ian had told her that he had done a sperm test and it had not been good news had started her fretting. So that meant she was once more pregnant by Rory. Whoever said lightning didn't strike at the same place twice was lying.

  Ruby clutched the pillow even tighter. She tried with all her being to remember why she had let her guard down so much to sleep with Rory.

  Whatever her confused feelings were at the time, she knew for certain that she would have never jeopardized her relationship with Ian if she had not been under the influence of those green pills. They had done something to her, apart from cure her cold. They must have addled her brain. Certainly they had destroyed her marriage.

  She inhaled and exhaled rapidly. What was she going to do now? She knew with certainty that she was not going to relive the past with Rory. She was not going to play happy family with him. What they had was over and though she had felt a kind of confused nostalgic feeling toward him she knew for a fact that it wasn't love. She had gotten over Rory eons ago.

  Such a pity it had taken her this long to work that out. She shouldn't have smiled at him; she shouldn't have entertained any conversation with him, especially when she realized that he still had feelings for her. She loved Ian and she wished with all of her heart that this were his baby.

  She felt devastated that he was infertile. Now she understood why he was cold to her, but now it was too late. She knew that she couldn't expect hearts and flowers and forgiveness from Ian. He would never forgive her for this.

  She switched positions and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She was going to be doing this on her own. The thought scared her; in her dreams when she pictured having children she had always assumed that Ian would be right there beside her. He would have made an exceptional father. Tears squeezed past her eyelids involuntarily.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  "Something for the ailing mother to be," Cynth said putting down a cup of peppermint in front of Ruby.

  "Thanks," Ruby muttered listlessly. She was curled up in her settee, two weeks after her world shattered around her. She was chronically unhappy. She had not heard from Ian and she had not come out of the apartment. She had palmed all of her appointments off to Cynth and though her partner was swamped with work, she had still found the time to come to visit. Right now she felt as if Cynth was the only person in the entire world who still cared if she was alive or dead.

  Well, Cynth and Rory, who had started a campaign to call her every day. That was somewhat expected. Most of her other friends were Ian's friends too, and she couldn't imagine them thinking anything good about her right now. She couldn't even face her church family, either. Her situation was the stuff that fueled juicy speculation, and she couldn't blame them for that.

  She stared at the television; it was on the Home and Garden channel. She had watched the same episode several times before.

  "You should be making plans," Cynth said to Ruby.

  Ruby grimaced. "My brain is not working."

  "Make it work," Cynth said, standing before her, her arms akimbo. "You have to snap out of this, Ruby. This can't be healthy for your baby."

  "I can't snap out of it." She looked at Cynth. "I tried but every time I get up, I imagine what Ian's going through and his pain and the fact that I..." she bit her lip.

  "Have you told Rory that you are carrying his child?" Cynth asked, sitting down before her.

  "No." Ruby said, "I don't want Rory back in my life. I've been ignoring his calls."

  "Too late to not want him in your life," Cynth said. "He should know that he is going to be a father."

  "I'll probably tell him later on." Ruby sighed. "I want Ian to come back home. At least to have us talk."

  "Where is he?" Cynth asked curiously.

  "In Hanover, I guess." Ruby frowned. "I have called his phone about a million times and he doesn't answer."

  Cynth looked at the tea and pointed to it. "Drink up. Calm your frazzled nerves. God will work it out."

  Ruby groaned. "I got myself into this madness. I can't expect God to work this out for me." She sighed. "It's over for us, Cynth. You know those husbands who would listen to you and maybe, just maybe, see things your way. My husband is not like that. He prizes loyalty above all else and to him I was disloyal in the worst way a woman could be disloyal. And I have evidence." She pointed to her belly.

  *****

  After Cynth left, Ruby got up and had a shower. She would, as Cynth had urged her to, try to get it together, whatever that meant. Her life as she knew it was about to change, and it was a bittersweet thought. She looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't changed much, except in the bust area. There was a little curve to her once flat belly, but that was it.

  Oh baby, she thought miserably, I really wish that this situation could have been different.

  She heard a knock on the door and her heart started racing. Who could it be? She had been avoiding everyone.

  "
Open the door, Ruby. It's me, Carson." Carson knocked again.

  Ruby exhaled and opened the door slowly. The security chain was on.

  Carson was standing outside. "Let me in." He didn't look pleased.

  "I can't take a lecture right now," Ruby said. "I am feeling fragile."

  "I know and I don't intend to lecture you," Carson said when she released the chain on the door. "I am here with a long list of stuff that Ian needs to get from here."

  Ruby stood back as Carson walked into the apartment.

  He looked at her, a quirk to his mouth, "I am going to need your help." He shook the paper in the air.

  Ruby nodded.

  "How are you doing?" Carson asked. "I wanted to call you so bad, but I thought I would give this potentially volatile situation a chance to simmer down first."

  "I am not happy," Ruby said forlornly. "How is Ian?"

  "In pain," Carson said, "terrible ruthless pain. And being Ian, he is not handling it well. Your name is a bad word, by the way, makes him froth at the mouth and growl like a dog."

  Ruby shuddered. "He is not taking my calls."

  "That's probably for the best for now," Carson said. "Come on, let's go sit down. I can't believe you are pregnant. You look slimmer. Are you eating enough?"

  "I am eating," Ruby said. "I force myself to eat."

  "What happened, Ruby? I am not here to judge." Carson sat and looked at her and listened to the whole story without comment. "So you are not having an affair with Rory?"

  "No," Ruby said emphatically. "I must admit, when he just came by I felt a little tug of something; I am not sure what. It wasn't love though, because I love Ian. If I hadn't taken those pills I would never have let it get that far. The stupid thing about this whole thing is, I can't even remember having sex with Rory."